Tobi (@metuspes) has been absent for a while, as many of her followers and friends have noticed. I (Jude aka @whoistommyelliot / @smileformc) found out on Tuesday, 07/26/16, that she passed away a week ago on Tuesday, 07/19/16. She committed suicide.
I think a lot of us can agree that, as friends through the internet, this is one of our worst fears realized.
Tobi struggled with depression. I talked to her about it on several occasions. As someone with similar troubles, someone who has previously attempted myself, even I didn’t see this coming. I know a lot of us, friends, family, myself included, are going to have thoughts of “what ifs” and regrets and shame about not having done something else.
I want everyone to know that this is not their fault.
Tobi was going to the doctor, even took medication, and had supports around her. In my experience, she was always a silly and goofy kind of person. There is no proper way to know what was happening or how to stop it. Talking to her, she faced normal stresses like we all do. The simple answer to what happened to her was DEPRESSION and CHANCE. The depression was being treated, and there’s not much of anything you can do about the rest.
The reason this post is being made is to make sure all of her friends are aware. If I hadn’t heard from her best friend @paisleylunarislupus or from her mother in a text message, I never would have known, and I think that would have been worse than anything else.
Another reason for the creation of @metuspesmemorial is to allow her friends and family to see what other people have to say about her. If you want to make a post and @mention this blog, want to reblog this, want to send an ask, or make a submission, we will post/reblog it here. If you don’t want your words to be public, but would like her family to see it, send this blog direct messages.
I will be giving Tobi’s family the login for this account. I want them to be able to see the kind words our community has for her. She was a kind, funny, and brilliant writer. She was one of my best friends. She’s had a large impact on this community, and I’ll never be the same without her. I’m going to miss her so much.
And please: for all of us that will be hurting, take care of yourselves. She wouldn’t want us neglecting ourselves because of her. It’s hard. Things aren’t okay, but they don’t need to be all the time, especially with something like this. Don’t beat yourselves up. Things aren’t okay right now, but they will be.
kianamaiart
tangentwithtanner
annaxmalina
gummygunk
