Sair @be-sair - Tumblr Blog

I am realizing i dissociate from pain in the day to day. Best i can figure is that my body ?ignores? certain messages. I know i feel pain, but i also know i have a high pain tolerance.

Cuts sting

Blunt force feels dull. Ignorable. Just bodies being bodies

Nerve pain is hellfire. It is hijacking the system to blast the message of pain with no corresponding trauma. There is no lesson or healing— just screaming over the body’s alert system (fuck you zoster virus)

Right now my neck hurts

I am so used to dissociating from this that i go between not being entirely sure i feel anything and tearing up as spasms go up my back and spine

Fuck this is a distracting level pain

My problem is that i tune out anything below a six so once i notice it it’s bad. And i’ve already taken my daily allotment of pain meds :/

be-sair

Meds hack for those interested—

If you have some Every Day pain meds and some When Needed pains, dose them both out in your pill planner and just skip the ‘when needed’ ones when you don’t need them

I take Tylenol as needed and have trouble distinguishing Thinking to Take Tylenol with Actually Taking Tylenol, so sometimes end up skipping instead of risking double dosing

Now i just put my max allotment of pain pills with my other meds. Bonus! At the end of week/refill time it is a journal of the week’s pain (what optional pain meds are left)

be-sair

Med plan has shifted so much

No longer taking pain meds daily after basically 6 months of 3000mg of tylenol a day— turns out pain pills and muscle relaxants don’t work as well as meds that tell my nervous system to shut the fuck up

And it’s another fucking vet med

Now having a better idea of my neuropathologies i get the sense i’ve always known on some level because i have been obsessed with brain computer interfacing since i was a kid and now i’m realizing i might end up needing one

#i am probably going to die from a stroke #odd to know that with certain confidence

be-sair

I am realizing i dissociate from pain in the day to day. Best i can figure is that my body ?ignores? certain messages. I know i feel pain, but i also know i have a high pain tolerance.

Cuts sting

Blunt force feels dull. Ignorable. Just bodies being bodies

Nerve pain is hellfire. It is hijacking the system to blast the message of pain with no corresponding trauma. There is no lesson or healing— just screaming over the body’s alert system (fuck you zoster virus)

Right now my neck hurts

I am so used to dissociating from this that i go between not being entirely sure i feel anything and tearing up as spasms go up my back and spine

Fuck this is a distracting level pain

My problem is that i tune out anything below a six so once i notice it it’s bad. And i’ve already taken my daily allotment of pain meds :/

be-sair

Meds hack for those interested—

If you have some Every Day pain meds and some When Needed pains, dose them both out in your pill planner and just skip the ‘when needed’ ones when you don’t need them

I take Tylenol as needed and have trouble distinguishing Thinking to Take Tylenol with Actually Taking Tylenol, so sometimes end up skipping instead of risking double dosing

Now i just put my max allotment of pain pills with my other meds. Bonus! At the end of week/refill time it is a journal of the week’s pain (what optional pain meds are left)

I am realizing i dissociate from pain in the day to day. Best i can figure is that my body ?ignores? certain messages. I know i feel pain, but i also know i have a high pain tolerance.

Cuts sting

Blunt force feels dull. Ignorable. Just bodies being bodies

Nerve pain is hellfire. It is hijacking the system to blast the message of pain with no corresponding trauma. There is no lesson or healing— just screaming over the body’s alert system (fuck you zoster virus)

Right now my neck hurts

I am so used to dissociating from this that i go between not being entirely sure i feel anything and tearing up as spasms go up my back and spine

Fuck this is a distracting level pain

My problem is that i tune out anything below a six so once i notice it it’s bad. And i’ve already taken my daily allotment of pain meds :/

would love for this appointment to happen so that we can schedule a scan and i can actually have some baseline for how fucked my body is instead of floating along

foone

Annoying edge cases: non-binary person who identifies as binary.

Not as a binary gender, but as having the gender "binary". Like the gender options are "man", "woman", and "binary".

0 uses 0/1 neopronouns, of course. 0 says 0`s never been happier with this gender and pronoun choice, it really works for 1.

Have not used this blog in a bit so i maaay use it for medical griping that i don’t necessarily want to put on main

Things i have discovered my body does Not Like right now (things my body normally tolerated)

My nice conditioner (i am angry about this)

Stevia sweetener (stomach is currently screaming)

Wool (tbh my body has never liked wool but right now it’s instant Nope)

heritageposts

bad news

#noooooooooo

mysillycomics

#i aim for all these at once

talonabraxas

Marco Melgrati Illustrations

gunsandfireandshit

I bet this guy has really normal things to say about women!

neurodecadence

Single tumblr dev says "yeah this is great we totally unbanned porn have fun", followed by "okay actually I don't know what the update actually entails that's just what the vibes I got were lol"

Frankly as a metaphor for the management of this site it's a little on the nose.

phantomrose96

(。・ω・。) hai!!!! twitter userz are you coming back uwu? *glomps you* nya (*/ω＼*) hooray!!! you can read my super smexy destiel yaoi fic!!!!! >.< Rawr!! haha sorry, I'm random ヾ(•ω•`)o I'm an SJW btw and suuuuuuper proud of it, and I'll cancel u if you don't like my smexy yaois douj--*cutting to look offscreen* god that's not actually a threat is it? peak SJW discourse doesnt actually come close to Twitter toxicity this won't even faze them. Should I--can we change the script? No? just keep--okay keep filming? okay I--nyaaaa!!! >.< Hetalia is Da Best if you don't think Italy is the kawaiiest then--*cutting offscreen again* I can't. It won't work. This won't keep them out.

one-time-i-dreamt

I had giant pet frogs the size of tortoises and they had fur. I woke up and thought, "Which species of frogs has fur?"

one-time-i-dreamt

phantomrose96

idk why they were set all to hide when blur is right there, but this means we got tits back! This update is an improvement!

(re: this post)

yeah blur by default would be a lot more reasonable! that way it's not hiding posts from people who have no idea this setting exists and thus are completely unaware they're missing content. (i wonder if for legal reasons they had to make it an opt-out thing...)

at least the banner informing people about this is pretty visible - both on desktop and in app. so HOPEFULLY most people get informed?

but anyway as an aroace I do not, personally, care about the porn being back. MY stake is that the 2018 porn ban somehow (perhaps through a series of domino effects, but definitely caused by the porn ban) made all the insufferable people run off to twitter. this place actually became habitable after that.

so if through another series of domino effects, this brings those people back and drags us back into pre-2018 hell discourse, im buying a powerwasher to point out my front door and use on anyone who tries to start anything with me. get fucking washed.

phantomrose96