Ayeee @beagleswings - Tumblr Blog

T.hey caught it early,

I hate the concrete. Not when my feet pound against the pavement, and not when I am trapped in a prison, I hate the concrete. The way it makes my legs and feet ache for dirt and river. The way it breaks and cracks so ragged and dry. I want a concrete shelter, the way it holds on so tight. I cannot handle a world-concrete, it

beagleswings

Fifteen. Terrified of loneliness. I-a scrawny iron giant in a world where sun-kissed pixie dolls batted their eyelashes at battered boys. Who threw their masses about the halls to showboat their worthiness to be groped by feeble, curious hands.

I went to bed each morning wondering at 3 am if any of them would ever love me.

I still remember seventh grade, when I put a note in your locker. It took you a week to find it, crumpled near your textbooks.

I wrote to see if you liked me back. You never said a word. You just fussed with my hair in Algebra class and if a boy teases you he must like you right?

Twenty. I’m still fifteen. I’m still seventh grade. Loving to love even when it hurts and not knowing any better.

beagleswings

Thirty. I sit beside a man and his cat.

He is not the same man who I promised myself to at 24.

I no longer accept I love yous that come with resentment.

I am learning to be kinder to myself and set the example because if I don't show you how to love me who will?

I know now that maybe teasing is just your love language, and I will learn to speak it because you deserve to be understood.

But just like a cat I am smart enough to know when to retract my claws and when I should pounce, and more often now I perch and observe instead.

I see the beauty in domestication but I do not withhold my bite.

I affirm myself at twenty, disappointed by those who didn't know themselves, but I can't help but to have forgotten who I was even upset about!

I affirm myself at fifteen. She didn't even know she liked kissing girls too but everyone else did.

How different could life have been? Had I been born into a more savory flavor of Christianity?

But this was my journey. This body. This thirty. And I'm okay, I'm still learning. 💕💖

beagleswings

““This is how you are designed to live.” “The world is war and you should be afraid to look in the mirror without believing that something is crooked or tinted a shade darker than what looks good on TV.” “But we can fix that something so nothing will hurt.” “Here: this prescription will ease the pain that we told you, you had.” We are told that we must be concrete to survive the world we’ve been dealt. That we must always be afraid, cold, driven, dirty, painted, unwavering, unforgiving. You could be a curb or a gutter or a cracked city street. You are concrete if you wish to be. But why choose to be concrete when you could choose to be the wind and rain of a storm.”

— Emily W.

beagleswings

I saw myself for the first time-as I truly am-when high in the clouds, knees on the ground, praying with fire and a burning bush.

Moses couldn’t chisel down the weight on my shoulders so I lit dynamite and felt it burst upon me hoping to catch a glimpse of what had kept me down for so long.

God watched, and I’m observant enough to know it worked.

kushandwizdom

Protect your peace.

goruma

my brain: ur dumb/annoying/ugly

me:

deathbygummybears

here’s a compilation of tiktoks that just convey an array of human emotions

domoinjapan

the slappening

fungoidfred

synchronized slapping class

zagreus

artioprotection

@polyglotplatypus

i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed-deacti

i love this song :-)

blackqueerblog

“Pit bulls are bred to fight”

Yeah fightin back my tears

threekittybabies

Beauty boy

vacants

Prospect Park West (by lucybennetttt)

petitetimidgay-deactivated20240

dark hallmark channel show me the forbidden lesbian christmas movies

anthonycrowleymoved

i know we’re beating a dead horse with this whole ‘2018 is never ending’ thing but the hawaii missile scare was this year

anthonycrowleymoved

everyone in hawaii thought they were gonna be wiped off the map less than one year ago and then we all fucking forgot because of all the bullshit that’s happened since