thank you @beautifulboysbeingbusy and @ilikeb00bies123 for this prompt! Read the aftershot here on Ao3
Summary:
A continuation of 19 days Chapter 468: Tantrum and the emotional fallout that follows.
"A long moment passed and finally He Tian let go of one of Guan Shan’s wrists, taking his face in his hand instead. He could feel Guan Shan trembling under him but this time he wouldn’t back down. “My turn,” he whispered."
Oh. My. GOD. HELLO??? EXCUSE ME??? WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT??? 😭😭
Absolutely feral over this. You’ve turned my heart into a mess and I’m thanking you for it. “I hate you” / “I missed you” is now tattooed on my soul. Thank you very much! 💔🔥
mo guan shan character analysis: trapped behind the glass tank (part 1)*
*very tentative Part 1, but since I'm definitely Very Normal™ about Mo, I will probably post more of them at some point lmao (about other characters too!)
Have you ever found yourself staring blankly at your homework or work screen, questioning the purpose of it all? What difference could finishing this task possibly make? Meanwhile, others seem completely absorbed—chasing a promotion, or studying hard for the Zhongkao or Gaokao to secure their spot on an academic path.
Is there happiness waiting at the finish line? Maybe. Maybe not. It could be about making your parents proud, taking steps toward your dream career, or just staying afloat, moving through life with some sense of financial stability.
What if all of that feels so abstract it doesn't even register as something meant for you?
(chapters 154 and 305)
In Chapter 361, we learn that Mo has lost his job due to repeated tardiness. He looks... devastated at the news.
This hit comes right after Mo arguably gets to experience teenage life with friends for the first time ever:
Trying and hilariously failing to form a band; running away together from Qiu, to who knows where; Mo opening up about his traumas -no, someone (He Tian and arguably Jian Yi, too) actively telling Mo that it's okay for him to depend on others to lighten his burden. Fun picnics with traumatic moments (i.e. the mudslide) that bring the boys closer together. Going to concerts. Getting to participate in the school festival. Mo huffing and puffing all the way about being "dragged around", but actually having a good time and taking his mind off all the shit in his life.
(chapter 318)
And that's just it, isn't it? While He Tian can be pushy and overbearing, Mo is capable of expressing (rather colourfully, although not assertively at all) when something is actually crossing over his boundaries. Sure, he may have been roped into joining the boys in their adventures. However, it's Mo who ultimately allows himself to be a teen for once. For once, having a regular life doesn't feel so out of reach.
And it all comes crashing down with a single call.
Why act as if it's the end of the world, if it's just a part-time job that barely pays peanuts? Well, not a lot of people are willing to hire a young student and work conditions are usually quite precarious. The only times Mo has gotten paid fairly for labour was because of He Tian finding Mo gigs, like that one time he got to work at a photo studio moving stuff.
Needless to say, there's also the earlier chapters, where He Tian pays Mo for housekeeping. It's shown He Tian actually pays well, and even pays Mo for stupid stuff like accepting a videocall.
Still, Mo states multiple times he does not want to owe anyone anything and least of all be seen as a charity case. To be indebted is to be subjected to the other person; it becomes a cage, like the one She Li tried to keep him in to be used at whim.
(chapter 319)
Mo -as much as he would never say it out loud- wants to be seen as his own person, because he's carried his own father's sentence from a very young age, which twisted his peers' perception of him, as well as his own sense of worth. And that ostracization made Mo even more vulnerable to fall into She Li's clutches because he doesn't have any support network. Hell, She Li himself participates in it, despite, in his own words, them two "being the same".
(chapters 242, and 368)
The biggest tragedy is that Mo is still kind of an upstanding kid even when he falls into the "school bully" persona. He cares, a lot, for what he allows himself to care for: his mum, and their safety.
He'll take as many shitty jobs as it takes to help his mum pay for his dad's debt. He'll work himself to the bone and forgo his dreams if that'll ease the weight she's carrying. He doesn't speak out about his situation, doesn't lean into self-pity. He doesn't fight it either, instead choosing to close himself off because he's pretty much checked out of social life and future prospects.
He'll take being beaten up by some adult gang over them laying a finger on his mum.
In a way, even when it hurts, Mo has built a very precarious balance between i-keep-away-from-you /you-keep-away-from-me that protects him just enough. He'll just tough it out until he inevitably drops out.
Then He Tian, Jian Yi, and Zhan Zhengxi show up in his life. Rather, Mo crashes into theirs, in the worst way possible. Either way, that distance he's relied on starts to break down. The lines he's drawn stop holding like they used to.
And it hurts (literally, at times), at first. It's annoying, it's inconvenient, and some of the wacky shit they get him into is headache-worthy. And yet, these idiots end up worming into his heart.
(chapters 240 and 315)
After so much time spent being shunned and friendless, he's drawn out of that shell of loneliness. He experiences the struggles of being perceived by others, of others actually wanting to understand him. And, perhaps, him wanting to know them back.
Obviously, Mo's developing relationship with He Tian is the highlight here, given he's the character he gets to know in a deeper level and for whom he develops feelings for.
There are so many things to be said, but since I'm trying to focus on Guan Shan's character here, so I'll summarise my thoughts as much as I can:
At the start of their relationship, He Tian and Mo Guan Shan’s dynamic is marked by a clear imbalance of power. He Tian moves through the world with control, secrecy, and unhealed trauma that he doesn’t fully understand, often expressing interest through intimidation rather than connection. His behavior toward Mo walks a thin line between teasing and threatening, making their early interactions feel more coercive than romantic.
But in Chapter 297, He Tian lets his guard down and admits he chose Mo because he admires his honesty and steadiness; all qualities He Tian feels he lacks. Unlike Mo, He Tian is deeply afraid of his own darkness, shaped by a violent family legacy he despises and wants to distance himself from. Mo, in turn, isn’t naive; he knows He Tian is manipulative, but he’s also seen glimpses of real vulnerability behind the facade.
They’re both isolated, scared kids wearing masks they hate — a rich kid and a bully, neither of which tell the full story. As they see the cracks in each other’s armor, their relationship begins to shift, if only slightly. These moments of honesty don’t excuse the harm, but they push for genuine growth. It’s in those small glimpses of shared fear and loneliness that a more honest bond might start to take shape.
(chapters 259 and 319)
The culmination of Mo’s struggle with agency and the absence of a real support system comes in chapters 344 and 346, when He Tian gives him a guitar, along with a photo and a message that Mo has probably been waiting his whole life to hear.
(a message so important Mo keeps the picture into his adult years.... yeah)
Can you see how, after opening himself up to all these experiences, Mo might have been lulled into a false sense of security — even though, in many ways, he was more protected during this time than he’s ever been?
Mo's life has never been that of an ordinary teenager.
The pretense of a life where he gets to spend his time hanging out with friends and no consequences is just that. A pretense, a lapse of judgement in Mo's part, whose livelihood just came crashing around when he missed his part-time job during the culture festival.
The next thing he does if to cut all of his friends off, recognising that hanging with these "privileged " kids has distracted from his initial goal, his true reason to keep on going is: to help his mother pay off their debt.
His not contributing to that has actual, real repercussions, and Mo resigns himself to never lose focus of that again.
So then, he goes home. He sees his mum sleeping. She must be tired from how many shifts she has to take; maybe she has to wake up to an ungodly hour to be on time for the first of her various part-time jobs.
(chapter 360)
Mo is probably feeling guilty for putting his ma in an even tougher situation, now that for the foreseeable future he won't be able to help out.
Reluctantly he walks to his bedroom and sits down in front of some open textbooks. He stares at them; looks conflicted. One can wonder what's going on in that frazzled mind of his.
I, for one, think that he's questioning if this really is what his life is suppossed to be, and the point of it all.
Hey everyone! I just finished up the last chapter of Halcyon part two. Before I keep going, I could use a bit of a change of pace. So, I thought why not write some short stories/ one shots?
Have you got a prompt or idea you’d like me to write? Drop it in the replies. Be as detailed or vague as you’d like.
I make no promises of doing them all, but I’d like to write at least a few.
In the end, they don’t get dinner. Guan Shan says the area is too busy and the wait for a table at the only restaurant that interests them is over an hour long, so after they walk the perimeter of the park and linger near the dark and still lake, they go back to He Tian’s. Guan Shan had made an oven-baked pasta dish only a few days ago when he came over after school; they divide up the frozen leftovers and warm them in the microwave while they warm themselves in the apartment, snowflakes melting in He Tian’s hair.
Eating in front of the TV, they don’t talk much — which isn’t awkward or abnormal, except for the fact that He Tian is too caught up in his thoughts to consider conversation in the first place. Guan Shan, however, doesn’t seem to notice, content with lying on the couch and scrolling through his phone and tucking an arm under his head so he can better see the TV and—
Humiliated?
Not embarrassed, not annoyed. Humiliated.
But people who feel humiliated by another person don’t willingly follow them back home, He Tian tells himself. They don’t make them dinners and sightsee Christmas decor with them and wait for them in the mornings for ten — longer than ten — minutes. And they’ve kissed. Multiple times. Or, rather, He Tian has kissed him and Guan Shan has allowed it. People who feel humiliated by someone else wouldn’t let themselves be kissed. Touched. Held.
Alright guys, I'm here today to address the pictures of the alleged 'new merch' that had been circling around in the English fandom for a few days.
See how I said 'English fandom'? Because nobody really addressed it on weibo and XHS yet… at least not to that extent.
(Sorry, I have seen these screencaps on tumblr, insta, X and discord, and I have no idea who originally took them, I don't claim to have taken those screenshots, merely providing them here so you know what I'm talking about.)
So what happened?
A few days ago a random shop on taobao created new listings that offered a new series of badges and prints/acrylics - not just featuring the 4 main boys, but also He Cheng, Qiu, She Li and… Cun Tou…..?!
Now let's take a moment and sit back and think about this for a while.
First of all: Why would a random shop that's NOT affiliated with mosspaca in any way post new 'official' merchandise? (Because we can see there's the mosspaca copyright writing on the badges and acrylics, just like it used to be on the previous badge series) Why would this random shop post these things while neither OldXian herself nor her boss, moss, have posted or announced anything via weibo/XHS?
Don't you think this is sort of fishy? You don't find this strange, you don't question that at all?
Sure, some people said: It's leaked and it will be available on the upcoming signing event on the 29th which OX announced on her weibo.
Sure. There is a possibility, of course. They could have a leak in mosspaca studio and some person got their hands on some undisclosed merch and decided to make bank by making a new shop and listing the items for pre-order, hoping they could cash in.
NOT a smart choice if you wanna keep your job because such incidents get investigated thoroughly and we all know by now that moss himself is very strict about these things and already has taken legal action against shops before when they sell fake merch as official merch.
The other possibility? Old Xian's apple account has been hacked by an outsider and then the same scenario as before applies - that person wanted to cash in before it officially releases.
Now.
How has OX handled merchandise before? It was always announced before an event and sometimes even months(!) in advance when they were pre-order items.
Also. Have you ever seen Old Xian making merch for Cheng, Qiu, She Li and Buzzcut?
Sure, the first 3 have been on some old postcards way back in the day, plus they are depicted in some of the artbooks, okay.
But actual merch with them separately? The last badge series had a very limited special edition button with He Cheng. That was super rare.
And now OX suddenly makes merch of the 2 adults, plus She Li AND Buzzcut, who's a minor character which barely makes an appearance? (Sorry, Buzzcut fans, not trying to be mean, just wanting to drive home the point that OX creating merch of him is highly unlikely - unfortunately.)
So what can we take home from all the stuff I just pointed out?
Yep, there is a high chance that this is not official. It might be fake merch, sold by a random person who used generative AI tools and editing skills to create these things.
I mean, sure, some of the pictures look highly convincing, I give you that. But then again, there are fanartists out there who can perfectly mimic Old Xian's style and edit/draw the boys in new poses that make it seem 'real' and official.
But then there's THIS. Please take a close look at the way the faces are 'drawn', the way that the eyes are sort of smudged, same as some of the abs, the way Mo's face is contorted in a weird angle, the way the hands look chunky and unreal, and so on. (click on image to enlarge it and see it in more detail)
Weird, right? Well, it's a very common, typical thing for pictures that are generated with free AI tools. Everyone who has tried one or the other and has fcked around with one of those tools out of curiosity will notice.
Also - have you noticed the sheer AMOUNT of things posted from this one random seller? 10 different badges, 12 different long bookmarks (acrylic boards?), 4 couple cards, plus a LOT of other random new things which all feature very old panels from the manhua…
When has Old Xian ever released SO MUCH merch at once? Yep. Never. Plus the re-using of old pictures for new merch? Also doesn't make much sense. And there's a lot of the older illustrations being used for these supposed new things here.
So if you take all of this into account, you might conclude that someone is tryna pull your leg here, selling fake merch disguised as official by even slapping the logo onto it to make it more convincing and mimicking how it looked the last time around.
Of course - there might be the odd chance that mosspaca suddenly took a 180° turn and completely changed their modus operandi and decided to do things completely different compared to before and that it was leaked after all and meant as a surprise for the new autograph event etc etc etc.
Yep. There's a chance that all this is true after all. But there's also a chance that I step out of my house tomorrow and an airplane crashes onto my head. Of course, that chance is *extremely* small. But the chance is there…
So there you have it.
All I'm asking you here, is to take a moment to think it through logically when you see these things online. And that you don't instantly believe everything that other people post who are always so eager to spread false information just for the sake of stirring up the fandom without ever taking the time to verify their sources. (No, I'm NOT taking a jab at anyone here who posted/reposted these pictures and was confused and/or asked about it. I was just as puzzled as you guys. But I am criticizing those who post it and announce that it's definitely new, official merchandise…)
In conclusion:
Might be true, but chances are very slim, all things considered.
Let's wait until Tuesday when the event takes place and keep an eye on weibo and XHS - let's see which pictures the CN fandom will post when showing their autographs. Then you can check if there's new merch present.
If not - well, then it's pretty safe to say that this was definitely fake.
(And if this turns out to be real after all, I will make a follow-up post, regarding the AI-looking faces. But you might not like that 'lore' so I will not mention it for now, to prevent possible drama.)
Things I noticed about 19 Days Chapter 453: Interview Makeover
1. I love how Zhanji relationship is somehow still the same goofy, loud and carefree thing it was in the past, but also how much it has changed.
Jian Yi still can reprimand Xixi for the way he dressed, nagging him and calling him dull. It’s their playful banter, same thing as in middle school.
But at the same time Yian Ji is way more flirty. Like WAY more flirty. I think he realized how much time he lost when he was involuntarily away for three years. Before the time skip there were some moments where he has been flirtatious too but more often than not he became shy towards Xixi. Well, not anymore.
2. Did he just touch his 🍆??? Damn, you go girl 💕
3. Xixi is absolutely gorgeous!
4. “I’m waiting for you to earn money and take care of me.” Okay. Like, they are basically married. I love how they are all like basically married. My headcanon lives on. Zhanyi is the cute couple. Tianshan is the sexy one. 🔥🔥🔥 
Also thanks to @19daysmanhua for the quick translation!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Please credit maomaozaii on twitter as the translator if you upload it to instagram etc.
Join our discord if you want to chat with like-minded people and be the first to see new updates~
My mom just said she thinks men are going crazy nowadays bc they have less gay sex now than they did in ancient times lool. She said she has a feeling it used to just be something guys did n moved on n now it’s a big deal for no reason. And I’m listening along like girl tumblr would love you
recommend me tianshan fics please. for the love of god. i don't care if its 500 words or 50k. i don't care if you think i've read it already. if it made you feel things - tell me now
(I’m sure I’m forgetting someone cause my brain is just a big mess. i’m so sorry.)
Some days your stories literally have been the only thing helping me to make it through the day. And you do not get nearly enough praise and attention for what you do for all the people like me.
Thinking about Momo, with He Tian leaning on him, arguing with himself if he should do it or not.
Trying to ignore the heat from He Tian's palm, through his shirt, and on hips. Of his their fingers sliding through the gaps and interlocking. Of his own hand on He Tian's shoulders, hovering, indecisive if he should grip him back the same.
But the image of He Tian, alone, sitting on the hood of his car, lit by the evening lights, staring across the river—it's burnt itself in his mind. Of his fingertips on He Tian's chin, of the piercing glare, of the yank on his heart that was simply He Tian jerking him closer. Of smoke that invades his senses, of the sense that he might be drowning, just by their proximity.
It's my fault I can't live without you, hushed and floating in the air between them, around them.
And really, he knows arguing with himself is useless. Not when he knew he wanted to lean down, brush his lips agaisnt that proud forehead, tingling from the cold and the soft hairs on his hairline.
makes me so happy to see just casual domestic tianshan in the future like organising a plan for dinner, working, being openly affectionate 🥹🤌🏻 help can we talk about this more
okay so i couldn’t write more because i was at work but:
- how they’re just gna get together for a special dinner after work and it’s pretty normal and commonplace makes me so happy. like it must be a regular occurrence for them to do so
- the easy and casual way they are close to one another. hands on waists, shoulders, faces close. even the sweet teasing too
- the lack of real angst or spiky-ness from either of them. i feel like they’ve got over their hormonal teenage journey and they’re more settled now and trust one another 🥹❣️
- love how tian doesn’t hide his feelings at all like yeh how can i stay mad at you when i love you so much and i need you. you’re important to me. like??? okay tian break our hearts and remake our hearts in the same breath i guess
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