Whaaaaat?? @beauxgiss - Tumblr Blog

mazzes-deactivated20250218

i want to smoke crack with her

man I couldn't do twitter. on tumblr nobody gives a shit if u bully celebrities, on twitter it becomes a fucking national conversation for three days

roboco-san

john green's cock monologue never could have happened on twitter

roboco-san

god I wish that were me: a compilation

milf-adjacent

korra-of-the-watertribe

rnoonsetter

vergak

Seriously tho I cannot name a single transmasc musician I like. It’s a shame. They keep trying to be like, acoustic punk but are missing the key piece of good folk punk music, which is having a heroin problem. All they do is smoke bad weed. Now I’m NOT saying more ftms should shoot up but I am saying we already have the needles for it.

sweet-pink-bees-deactivated2025

I am obsessed with this eric andre interview

hilltop

are these birds real? theyre real. okay.

depsidase

anxietyproblem

gossip-girl-of-middleearth

no no, I realise it, I’m just still driving despite the check engine light being on

whitepeopletwitter

thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis

synthy-naiyah

bgm05

masterpost of spongebob moments that dealt psionic damage to my 7 year old self (absolutely non-comprehensive)

nitegyrl-deactivated20151213

jeshala

Me and my old people mutuals, all having been here since 2009~

guerrillatech

delphinidin4

happy-xy

bryanrl

The boy's on a roll this week

why is this so fucking funny

tiktokmuseum

he was in the fridge!!!

myusersnamegoeshere

ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha

rattle-my-stars

the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover

blog-carmex

@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food

esperantoauthor

Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…

marraphy

mutuals put me in your fridge

gallusrostromegalus

Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”

So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.

“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”

“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.

“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”

“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.

“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’. …Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”

“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”

“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”