YES KILLING AND VIOLENCE

they/it - 23 - Fallen London players send a calling card to beetleswarm

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

[moldavite]

there's so much i don't know. how do i learn everything by tomorrow

[moldavite]

[mgcsheaven]

realistically there is no chance i will have time to read, imma still bring a book though

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[jame7t]

God I’m so hungry I could eat a h- *looks around nervously to make sure my friend Devin, the Talking Horse isn’t nearby* phew. Well I’m so hungry I could kill and eat my friend Devin

[bonesbeetle]

compilation of my all-time favorite tweets

[despazito]

sometimes an american will be talking to you and they start throwing around numbers like 70 or 90 when talking about the weather and you just have to smile and nod

[zurin]

[hungwy]

I hate how 3 pm is so close to 2 pm so there's an illusion that there's still time left in the day to do things but in reality 3 pm is also close to 4 pm and if it's close to 4 pm you might as well just wait till tomorrow. <- can't argue against this by the way.

[pigeonapologist]

Every once in a while I’ll see a post that’s like

“Hot take: it is NOT immoral to fold your towels!”

And I wonder what the fuck kind of discourse I missed and if anyone was ever really arguing with OP on that matter to begin with

[psshaw]

What always gets me are the ones like "Reminder that it's totally okay to fold your towels if you feel you need to!" and I'm like oh, we are inventing things to beg permission for that not even god himself could have imagined

[annathemel]

I’m that friend

[hydrachea]

> turns on my computer

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> opens my email

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> launches a software

> disables a new AI fea

[viljonkka]

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[geminipdf]

me when a fictional woman decides not to get an abortion

[evilwizard]

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Phylactery maintenance

Hey boss,

In the handbook it says standard procedure is “Phylactery upkeep is to be done Bi-Monthly, no more no less” but the other cronies and I are conflicted if that mean twice a month or once every two months? We wanna make sure our surplus of young souls and blood sacrifices is in proper stock so seeing if we gotta quadruple or quarter our spending will really make or break the whole “Eternal Life” operation we got going here.

Also side note: should I message IT about how every time the word Phylactery is typed out in the system it automatically turns green? Or is that by design?

In mournful servitude,

Henchmen 2883 (Frank)

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Vexed Me For The Last Time

you’re supposed to do it once a month, bisexually. how many times have you been doing it??

- EW

[mmleepmlorp]

My five year plan is to just see what happens