shitpostbot finally using its sentience for good and ending transphobia, i see
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@behereorbesqueer
shitpostbot finally using its sentience for good and ending transphobia, i see
fuck disappearing under mysterious circumstances i want to start APPEARING under mysterious circumstances. walking through a deserted eerie forest? im there. exploring an abandoned 1930s mine that no human has set foot in for 55 years? there too. touching down on mars? guess whose annoying face you see poking out from behind a rover
Zuko: And finally, allow me to introduce the Avatar, Aang.
Aang: Ambassador Aang.
Zuko: Ambassador of what? You’re the only member of your nation.
Aang: And whose great-grandpa’s fault is that?
Zuko: Touche, ambassador.
Aang: I changed my mind now I’m King Aang.
Zuko: What.
Aang: King of the Air Nomad.
Zuko: That doesn’t even make any- whatever. Let’s just proceed with the meeting.
Vice President Aang
Zuko: Wait, who’s the president then?
Aang: *lifts baby Tenzin*
Aang: Don’t forget Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty.
Zuko: I am not calling him that.
Aang: You’re disrespecting his dynasty, Zuko.
Zuko: Since when does he have a dynasty?
Aang: Well, most of it is gone, now.
Zuko:
Aang: Because of your great grandfather.
Zuko through gritted teeth: Your Momoness.
HERE’S THE DUCKS.
you missed the best part
all i'm going to remember about this debate is the fly on pence's head
shout out to the fly on pence’s head
K Street recently
here is a short compilation of tiktoks that have killed me lately
“Is your hotel room wheelchair accessible?”
(Stick to the end, I beg of you, nothing will prepare you for what happens, nothing prepared me, I am losing my mind...)
[Video description: This video is filmed from someone’s phone, and shows us the inside of a luxurious hotel bathroom. The person filming says the following:
So it’s 1AM, and I’ve had a long day, and I need to sleep. But I’ve been up all night thinking about this hotel. Because... the hotel room that I’m in has this immaculate, beautiful, state of the art bathroom [video pans over the bathroom]. But in building this immaculate, beautiful, state of the art bathroom, the hotel made the doorway [camera moves to show us the doorway] just the tiniest bit too narrow. And because of that, it is very difficult to fully fit a wheelchair through this door [camera has panned down to show how the wheelchair cannot quite fit|. Now when I say it’s too narrow, I mean by mere inches. If I wanted to scrape the walls, I could fit into this bathroom. And, if I had a smaller wheelchair, you could probably fit into this bathroom. [camera starts moving around to pan over parts of the bathroom, but mainly still the doorway.] Or, if they were to simply take this doorway, and move it- you know, expand it, if you will, by several inches on either side... Just, the most minimal effort, you could probably fit anybody into this bathroom. But my hotel didn’t do that. No no no, they didn’t choose the solution of “extend the doorway by several inches”. No, instead, [camera quickly moves as the person turns around] my hotel opted [another door is shown, then a mirror] to put in an entirely different bathroom behind this mirror [camera is now looking into a different, wide bathroom] that is fully wheelchair accessible. [camera moves to show us the whole bathroom with its accessibility features] Because... Italy.
/end video descrption]
Just got this in the mail and it's uh. Very on brand
I am FASCINATED by that asterisk
like imagine thor finding out humans can survive a 15,000 ft fall if their parachute malfunctions but if they hit their head at a certain angle a few foot fall can kill them
bruce: ppl can die from getting scratched by a rusty nail but there was also a guy who amputated his own arm with a pocket knife after being trapped by a boulder for six days
thor:
bruce, who had just finished explaining That Time in college when he was super drunk and fell down three flights of stairs without sustaining any injury: that was around the time my aunt died from scrapping her hand on a rusty nail bc her tetanus shot wasn’t up to date
thor:
Bruce: Humans have been observed to flip a car to the side by themselves to save someone who’s trapped underneath.
Bruce, 1 minute later: Thor, can you help me? This flower pot is so heavy.
Thor:
this thread is so worth checking out - it’s actually pretty frightening how perfectly he mimics the language and tone of right wing/conservatives or basically the entire White House right now.
When you perfect satire to the point were it could pass as the original
this site ain't so bad. it's something to do in the mornings while ur bread toasts, right? ^_^