So to be very clear: you do not believe that trans people are who they say they are, but rather, you believe in social constructs of gender as being rigid definitions? As in, a woman is simply someone who doesn't have visible hormonal imbalances and looks feminine to you? Gender as a gut instinct? Explain whether or not you are a trans ally and give real explanations.
So, I can tell this isn’t being asked in good faith, but that’s okay! I’m going to answer in good faith anyway, since you haven’t been vulgar and I hope this may be useful to you.
So, to start with, I don’t care how people present themselves. In fact, in my ideal world (a long, long, way off) people would be free to:
Date/have sex with whomever they like (assuming consent by all parties of course)
Have whatever job they want (assuming they are or will be qualified for it)
Play with whatever toys they like
Be friends with whomever they like
Call themselves whatever name they like
I’d say that indicates I don’t support “rigid definitions” of gender, and I certainly don’t support the idea that female individuals should conform to the current social role(s) prescribed to women or that male individuals should conform to the current social role(s) prescribed to men. In fact, I am strongly against the social construct of gender. I don’t want biological sex to have any say at all in everyone’s day to day life.
That being said, I also recognize that biological sex does exist and (in humans) cannot be changed (for some excellent reading about this see: this open letter about “whether biological sex is real”, and just to anticipate some common arguments: “inter sexism” is not as common as red hair, and sex is not a spectrum (as written by an individual with CAH, I also suggest this deconstruction of postmodernism as postmodernism underpins the theory leading to the “sex as a spectrum” conclusion).
I also know that there are very real, very impactful differences between the sexes in today's world (for sources on this please see anything in my male violence tag as a starting point) that justify the existence of sex separated bathrooms/shelters/etc.
Now, is it possible that some day men and women will be socialized they same way from birth, that crime rates between the sexes will equalize? Sure! Maybe! At that point in time, the only difference left between the sexes will be medical. But right now, these are facts of life that you can’t wish away.
To address the rest of your question explicitly, no a woman is not “simply someone who doesn't have visible hormonal imbalances and looks feminine to [me]”. Many women have hormonal imbalances and they are still women; many others present themselves in a traditionally masculine way and they are still women. A woman is simply “an adult female human”, where “adult” means fully grown, human means “a member of the primate genus Homo”, and female means “of or denoting the sex that produces ova or bears young”. (And to against anticipate a common response, please note the use of the word “of” in the preceding definition, the use here means “derived or coming from” indicating that the individual in question need not actually produce ova or have children, simply that they are of the sex capable of doing so.)
I don’t really know what you mean by “gender as a gut instinct”. I can say that gender is a social construct (created by humans without existing independently in nature) that prescribes certain behaviors based on an individuals biological sex. Gender is often used interchangeably with “gender roles” when using the above definition. Gender may also be used interchangeably with “sex”, generally to avoid association with “sexual activity”. I use the first definition of gender, and consider it to be inherently oppressive to women.
Finally, I support trans people to the extent described above (in reference to self-expression). I also support a variety of social reforms concerning housing, health care access, economic equality, and others that would positively benefit everyone including trans individuals. Importantly, I support evidence based interventions for individuals with dysphoria (many of the current interventions are not evidence based), please see the society for evidence based gender medicine for an excellent resource concerning scientific literature review concerning trans health care.
It’s up to you to decide if that make me a “trans ally” or not. I think it does, and I encourage you to evaluate which parts of this you disagree with and why. How different are our ideal worlds? Why do you find it easier to reject biological realities than challenge long-held social realities?
Feel free to message me if you’d like to talk!
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