Beyond the coat !!

Hi there.. I am a psychiatrist, I love to write and this blog is about the events that surpass everyday

[beyond-the-coat]

Love is so beautiful ❤️

[a-path-by-the-moon]

[beyond-the-coat]

Numbers in the Silence

He wanted the whole map of me,

but some roads still bleed.

I begged him to walk only the present;

he begged me to unlock the past.

"If forever is ours," he whispered,

"let me know each scar

before a stranger names them."

His love is steady,

but his questions circle

around one ghost

he cannot touch.

Once, he said ashes don’t matter,

that only the fire we build now is real.

Yet here he stands,

staring into smoke,

hating the spark that touched me first.

There is a weight in the counting of hearts.

His pages are still blank,

mine already inked.

I carry histories,

he carries beginnings.

And the numbers hang between us,

like stones in the hem of our souls.

We spoke until the night unraveled,

vows weaving through tears:

never break me,

never leave me,

from this breath until the end.

He dreams of temples,

rings pressed into prayer,

holy steps to wash us clean.

Mahaveer ji,

Shikharji—

two souls walking into the light,

asking God to rewrite our first chapter

as if it were always one.

And I—

I tremble not from doubt,

but from love too sharp,

afraid my hands may wound him,

afraid my silence may wound him more.

Is this soulbond?

This ache and healing,

this fire and silk,

this breaking and binding,

this strange becoming

of two hearts into one?

[beyond-the-coat]

The tumblr

I gifted him a tumbler with his name on it.

I thought he’d smile, that he’d use it right away.

When the package finally arrived, I asked with all the hope in my heart, “So... do you like it?”

✧ ˚ · . His answer melted me!.

He said he loves it—so much—but he won’t use it.

I asked Why.

and he whispered,

“BECAUSE I want you to come to me and take the first sip. Only then will it be used.”

☁️ how does a gift meant for him, somehow end up being the thing that leaves me breathless?

☁️ how can something so small feel like the universe reminding me—

I must have done something right, to have found him.

𓂃 ࣪˖ 💙 𓂃 ࣪˖

[beyond-the-coat]

Life does not change when the problems disappear.

Life changes when our attitude changes!.

Express gratitude even in hardships and see them slowly turn into beautiful stories with happy endings.

~ Thank you for bringing Him in my life.

[beyond-the-coat]

What do you do when you have that sinking feeling in your stomach but you aren't really sure what exactly is your gut feeling saying?

[beyond-the-coat]

[beyond-the-coat]

Mixed signals

You chose the exit and left me in the crater,

Declared I could never be enough for you,

Yet your silhouette hangs at the rim of my ruin,

Haunting the foxhole you helped carve.

You flash a brand-new diamond, I gather broken glass,

Your tears pound the floor as though the storm is yours,

You name my hurt a footnote to your sorrow,

While I mend myself with jagged shards.

Home now lies a country past the noise of your lies,

I choke on each thread you spun into my throat,

You call me the furnace that scorches your calm,

Yet insist the cold isn’t what you need.

You reach for my heat with hands already spoken for,

Mixed signals crackle like static in midnight air,

You veil your face from me but boast of “your girl,”

Then slip back crying that you miss my fire.

You text her while lying beside my unraveling heart,

Privilege drips from your unanswered questions,

I’m the vessel you drain to keep your cup full,

While you bask in unearned mercy.

So whose fault coils tight around this knot of us?

Why am I left clawing at the frayed rope?

Why does your comfort cost me pieces of mine,

And why can’t I stop holding on?

~Dr Riya

[beyond-the-coat]

Echoes Within

Waiting for validation,

Lost in quiet trepidation.

Echoes of hollow, shadows of sorrow,

Where does one begin to face tomorrow?

Counting sins, a daunting task,

Behind the pain, no mask to unmask.

Forgiveness feels so far away,

A hope that fades with each passing day.

Loneliness—a fear so stark,

A haunting presence in the dark.

Self-criticism whispers loud,

Buries me beneath its shroud.

Was it truly a childhood scar,

Or has adulthood's glow been just as marred?

Is this pit my own design,

A trap laid by this heart of mine?

The evil grins, its victory smug,

While I claw at walls that seem to shrug.

Too many thoughts cloud my mind,

My heart grinds on, weary, confined.

Oh, how I wish it all would cease,

This endless trial, a stolen peace.

Yet every attempt has failed, undone,

A battle lost before it’s begun.

~Dr Riya

[beyond-the-coat]

मौन का संगीत: ज्ञान और अनुभव की परिभाषा

जिन्हें ज्ञान है, उन्हें ज्ञात है,

हर कर्म एक तप है,

हर श्वास एक वरदान।

किन्तु यह सच एक ऐसा तथ्य है,

जो जानते हैं, वो कह नहीं पाते,

और जो कहते रहते हैं, वो कभी जान नहीं पाते।

शब्दों के इस जगत में, अर्थ गहराई में छुप जाते हैं,

भावनाओं के सागर में, अनकहे दर्द बह जाते हैं।

सत्य जो दिल में बसता है,

वह मौन की भाषा से व्यक्त होता है।

ज्ञान की परिभाषा नहीं होती,

यह अनुभव का एक दरिया है,

जो महसूस करते हैं, वो समझते हैं,

जो शब्दों में ढालते हैं, वो छू जाते हैं।

हर खामोशी का अपना संगीत है,

हर मौन की एक गूंज है,

जीवन की इस यात्रा में,

ज्ञान का सबसे बड़ा साक्षी अनुभव है।

तो जो महसूस कर सको, वही सत्य है,

जो समझ सको, वही ज्ञान।

हर कर्म तपस्या है, हर क्षण अनमोल,

बस इसे जी लो, यही जीवन का अन्वेषण है।

~Dr Riya

[beyond-the-coat]

The Unspeakable Depth of a Blank Stare

Today, during rounds, a teacher asked me to explain a blank stare. It happened in the presence of a severely depressed patient whose vacant eyes seemed to hold nothing—no light, no focus, no hope. My teacher wanted me to describe it to the interns in words they could write down. I froze. How could I possibly articulate what I was seeing?

The blank stare wasn’t just an absence of expression—it was an abyss, a void where emotions should have been. Yet, despite staring into it, I couldn’t find the words to translate what I observed into plain language.

This realization has stayed with me. In psychiatry, our greatest tool is observation—not just of symptoms, but of the unspoken. Words may fail us, but the emotions and connections we build never will.

Sensing my struggle, my teacher made a poignant observation: "Phenomenology in psychiatry is not something you can fully write or read. You cannot truly explain these experiences through words alone."

In that moment, it struck me how true this was. Describing feelings, emotions, or mental states is not enough—you must "see" them, "feel" them, and "experience" them firsthand. The nuances of a blank stare cannot be reduced to mere vocabulary. It’s not about the technical description; it’s about the human connection, the empathy, and the silent understanding that comes from truly being present with the patient.

This realization has stayed with me. In psychiatry, our greatest tool is observation—not just of symptoms, but of the unspoken. Words may fail us, but the emotions and connections we build never will.

[beyond-the-coat]

[beyond-the-coat]

Kerela, Travel Story

Nature's symphony, a soothing tune

Underneath the golden afternoon

Coconut trees standing tall and grand

Casting shadows upon the land

Sunset hues paint the sky

As daylight bids a fond goodbye

Whispers of a gentle breeze

Dancing leaves among the trees

Kerala, a paradise untold

Stories in every sight unfold

In the heart, a tranquil spell

Where time and beauty dwell

The moonlight kisses the waves

A peaceful night, a soul that craves

Echoes of waves on moonlit shores

Nature's lullaby forever adores

[beyond-the-coat]

"Fleeting Ripples: A Tapestry of Resilience"

The gate closes more than not,

The time passes but leaves a knot.

Trying to move past certain puddles,

Still caught up in wishful cuddles.

Don't keep expectations, everyone says,

But still hoping despite what it pays.

Trying to be above it all,

Scared of yet another fall.

First was hardest, second was saddest,

But now remaining broken is the safest.

Was trying to pick up the pieces,

Now hoping that just the pain ceases.

Life feels like a whim,

Going through trying to swim.

Yet, in each wave, a strength gleams,

Hope whispers dreams in silent streams.

[beyond-the-coat]

The silence you hear when alone tells you a lot about the inside conflicts. If the silence is making you restless, it is the inner restlessness being reflected back and if the silence is calming, it tells that there are no inside conflicts.

It's like that silence acts like a mirror to all our inside thoughts.

[thoughtkick]

“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my deep awareness of others’ pain, and my passion for it all.”

— Unknown

[mydailybookquotes]

“To have a loving family is to feel afraid and yet believe you are going to be all right.”

-Dean Atta, The Black Flamingo