Beyond's Bits - The Tumblr Edition

Sometimes the words in my head just fall out.

[did-you-know]

Ancient Egyptians were using 20-sided die as early as 200 BCE. Source

[keetongu]

i cant believe ancient egyptians were FUCKING NERDS

[captainlordauditor]

imagine ancient egyptian d&d tho

[bemusedlybespectacled]

“You have crossed into the underworld and have encountered Anubis. You give him your heart to weigh.”

“I roll to Bluff.”

“You want to bluff Anubis? You can’t bluff Anubis, he’s a god, he has a godly Sense Motive check.”

“I want to bluff the scales.”

“…you want. To bluff. The scales.”

“Yup.”

“…you know what? I’ll allow it.”

“HA! Nat 20!”

“The scales, for some fucking reason, think your heart is lighter than the feather. Anubis is pretty sure you’re bullshitting him but you know what? Anubis has had a long day. Anubis is not gonna question the scales. You’re in.”

[maxofs2d]

[digital-lich]

sorry this tweet is just Very Good and im glad

[kadrey-deactivated20181203]

[soireeuqniargitlum]

here is where you can buy them

[peerieweirdo]

[dharmagun]

Lady of Shallot

i know it’s not shakespeare, but still

[editorincreeps-deactivated20180]

(screams into the void)

(the void pours two cups of coffee, sits down to listen)

(sobs quietly) thank you void, it has been a stressful month

[the-real-seebs]

hello darkness my old friend

[snstitre]

[wehadfacesthen]

Brigitte Helm in Metropolis (Fritz Lang, 1927)

gifset by  faerybites

[hypotheticalwoman]

yep, still got this boob

[thrustvector-deactivated2018071]

Montréal’s Language Distribution According to Twitter...

Over the span of roughly eight months I was able to collect 1,116,442 tweets using the Tweepy Python library which facilitates access to the free Twitter API. If eights months sounds like a long time for only a million tweets, that’s because the free Twitter API only gives access to roughly 1% of the total Twitter stream or “firehose” as it’s referred to. Since saving the actual tweet goes against the user agreement, I only saved a lat/lon location and a language type within a single SQL database. From all these tweets, only 131,773 (11.8%) were geotagged. Of all the geotagged tweets, 79,565 (60.38%) were in English, 39,508 (29.98%) in French and 12,700 (9.64%) were some other language. Within this “other” language, Spanish represented the largest portion at  2.14% of the geotagged tweets. Using just the English and French geotagged tweets resulted in the map containing 119,073 unique tweet locations of which 33% were French and 66% were English. The map was created using QGIS and Bing Maps satellite imagery.

[dubstepcicada]

lots of artists can fill their work with aching homosexual tension, but no one else can make the impending sodomy look quite as classy and exquisitely dressed as Leyendecker can. God bless you, sir.

[sixpenceee]

“My 5 yr old daughter is celebrating her 100th day of school by dressing up as though she is 100 years old. I think she nailed it!“

Posted by burphammie.

[n7nocturnal]

adorable

[cyndibloodykisses-deactivated20]

Bastet

[sixpenceee]

“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”

(Source)

[geostatonary]

“HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.”

“NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?”

“PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.”

“LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”

“YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“

[meltdraw]

Drew a comic thing of the neighbors.

[lastxleviathanrefollow]

My Huz and I laughed about this for like ten minutes. You have to read it in Frank the Bunny’s (from Donnie Darko) voice and realize if you ever looked outside your window one day and saw this you’d probably piss yourself

[liptonicedpee]

that is the exact voice I read this in holy hell

[zeedesertfox]

Old man zooming at 70mph.

[condvit]

The Last Bastion

[topherchris]

Register: turbovote.org Check your registration: headcount.org/verify-voter-registration/ More info: usa.gov/voting

[hughgrantinpaddington2]

The ’Stranger Things’ kids reimagined as Dungeons & Dragons characters illustrated by Bob Al-Greene

[newtnewt92]

Fun things to say when someone tells you they’re going to go to the bathroom:

Stay safe

Congratulations

That’s what they all say

Different strokes for different folks

I hope you have the time of your life

But you have so much to live for

Please explain

[just-shower-thoughts]

I’m 100% convinced that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

This the first logical explanation I’ve heard for this phenomena

[ohgodshesloose]

That’s a very specific fey creature at work there…