Theorist

18 | {Hyperfixated on the mwi since June 2024} | He/him

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

Temporary pfp I'm not proud of this doodle

DNI bigots

I am fully aware I am irrelevant in the world of physics. I don't intend to "show off", this blog is a place for me to dump my silly little ideas. My theories and interpretations. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but I don't have to accept that.

Please be kind and civil in my space. Both towards me and other people.

[1000-life-hacks]

[archeologist-prophet]

Lovely to see we have spaces where you can gain access to so much literature!

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

I do renounce the idea of "weird" but also I struggle to explain it?

I have no issue with the label. I fucking love weirdos and freaks and degenerates. I genuinely don't have an issue with anybody. Own your shit.

But also that in itself makes you,.. Not weird? A VERY LARGE majority of hobbies can be broken down to passion, which is a deeply human trait. Who even are you if you're not passionate.

I don't think any hobby or enjoyment could really be considered "weird", except the really BAD violent atrocities - and at that point those people are much more than just 'weirdos' so the label doesn't apply. I just have no need for it.

TLDR; I DO NOT hate it in the "woke" 'no that's a bad word' way. I just genuinely feel the societal connotations of the word do not give justice to it. Weird and disgusting are often considered one and the same, and they're not.

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

When I was like 8 I took a compact mirror to school and I used to pull it out in class and angle it just right under the desk so that a big light circle would appear on the wall and nobody ever figured out what it was or where it came from. I would move it around and stuff, make it dance

I was 8 years old and tormenting my classmates with physics and I love that for me

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

A TON of my older dreams all centered around losing people close to me. I would watch their deaths every time I closed my eyes. But we're healed I think. Now they attack me personally. Come for my insecurities and regrets

And its all cool, I genuinely don't get upset about it. You cannot hurt a bitch with his own brain, IN his own brain. I'm no weak-willed piece of shit like the rest of these dumbfucks, I've learnt not to take self-criticism personally

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

I think I'm able to control aspects of my dreams, and for the longest time I've been pushing the boundaries for sure.

For as long as I can remember since like 14, I've had these super packed, busy dreams. Multiple seperate stories, heavy plot lines with a ton of detail and emotional switching. It's like living three times over while I'm unconscious. I always wake up far more tired than I was when I laid down.

Within the past few months, I was able to lucid dream. I'm not entirely sure how or why, but I recognized I was in a dream. I tried to replicate that feeling, and it took a while but it eventually happened again. And again just days later.

I've been able to control the contents of my dreams by falling asleep with certain topics in mind. I've relived them. Dreamt, rewound it and experienced it a second time within the same nap.

It feels like I'm making big scientific breakthroughs but like. It's all in my own head, literally. I have no evidence of anything. The people around me think I'm just making shit up but I'm NOT. I know what I saw, what I felt, what I did. What I can *do* when I'm unconscious.

Also had sleep paralysis once, not great. Never again thanks. Don't want to relive that

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

So recently I've seen a trend of potters making shrinkage rulers, like to measure how much a piece is gonna shrink while firing.

But the thing is, wouldn't that depend on thickness as well? Like a solid cube of clay won't shrink anywhere NEAR a thin strip. It's a very obviously flawed unit of measurement.

And DONT tell me solid pieces can't be fired, because they absolutely can. Entirely depends on a number of factors like the water content, the speed of firing, the airflow around the piece etc.

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

"He's gaseous, he's not gonna make it through a portal" - Rick Sanchez, uh season 2 smw

Okay but like.., genuinely why.

Portals move the state of matter, as far as I'm aware. It would be dangerous for us to create portals and teleportation devices because it will literally rearrange you into mush

There's no risk of that with gas. It's not a solid, there's no way to really fuck that up?? I mean you could definitely split that 'gas' if the portal were to close too early, but I don't see a legitimate danger?

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

There's no way to achieve god status without becoming somewhat evil.

"complete reliance" is a red flag because it implies lack of choice. A utopia catering to the general public will never appeal to every last person, regardless of how uber specific you bend the factors. You would hurt people forcing them to live with it.

If you act, you're a dick. If you don't, you're a dick. Only a subhuman being born with 'abilities' could get away with having them, because it's not their fault. You cannot create insane sci-fi tech to give yourself power, and come out the other end a good person.

I think you could have power and not go to extremes. But you would still end up killing yourself trying to appeal to everyone. That's why misguided 'heroes' (in fiction) always go for a generalised paradise, it's easier.

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

Someone mentioned how trans people are special because we're able to look past society's expectations of gender and really connect with our genderfluid souls, and I've been saying this same shit for ages and everyone called me fucking crazy.

I literally DONT feel like anything. I'm a person but I'm not a guy or a girl. And I'm not genderless in a non-binary way, I just am. Like a pencil is a pencil, you wouldn't define it by lead type or length or grip shape. It's just a pencil.

[bigthinkerlittlepatience]

⚠️ Brief mention of suicidal thoughts ⚠️

I started contemplating the mwi a year and a half ago and it's led me all the way over here, I've done so much. Not sharing personal details but trust, I've beaten a TON of personal goals.

I genuinely fucking hyperfixated on a scientific theory and it changed my whole life.

I was really fucking depressed and at the end of my line. Either "I'm going to end it all or I have to change NOW". And then I got debating my life and how there could be other worlds out there where my life is both better and worse. And then I took a look at my own and it was like "what the fuck is actually even holding me down. Why am I depressed" and well yeah

It keeps me going. Both considering what could be, has been and what I could further build onto this theory.

Every time I do something risky and stupid that pushes my comfort zone my mind instantly calms it with the thought of nothing really mattering. Okay they might cringe and call me names but they burnt me alive in another universe, so I can survive fucking judgement. It could always be worse and no disrespect to the unluckiest me out there, but I'm done carrying that load.

I love keeping myself happy and on top. Like I refuse to fall. But also if I do, I won't let it drag me back down. I'm not living a great life, definitely nowhere near the best for myself. But maybe the best one thinks the same mindset. Maybe they think THEY'RE the 'original' and they're proud to win. And at the end of the day, they're all me. I will win regardless, of what timeline or universe or dimension. And that in itself makes me happy.