if there was a 6 and a 9 there would be 69 and that’s the sex number
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@bio-jogurt
if there was a 6 and a 9 there would be 69 and that’s the sex number
So this has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it three days ago.
this is the polar opposite of Everybody Knows Shits Fucked
i didn’t know this til i looked up the video on youtube, but this dude is a super cool and accomplished musician! his name is Rushad Eggleston–wikipedia describes him as “an innovative musician who has changed the way the cello is played,“ but according to his personal website he’s a “cello goblin & otherworldly jester currently touring earth”
“u shouldn’t use ur phone while it’s charging” and Napoleon shouldn’t have tried to invade Russia during its frigid winter ok but we’re all hellbent on digging our own private graves here
Elvira conquering lizard breaking heights
Lol. That victory dance.
THE VICTORY DANCE ITS JUST LIKE YEAH YEAH OH YEAH YEAH OH YEAH
This is the most wholesome political comic I’ve ever seen.
How to Solve an Abduction (of landlady, children, etc.)
Find a frosted glass window.
Touch it.
TOUCH THE HELL OUT OF IT.
wait
okay
i think i see what went wrong here
i am Sherlock and wen its time for me to solv a wikkid crime pulice don’t know to crak the case - i don’t need branes i tuch the glase.
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
Reboot this post to be blessed with dream Obama’s wisdom
Acting like the crows won’t try to cheat the system.
Acting like the crows won’t snatch cigarettes outta people’s mouths.
Acting like murders won’t fight viciously for terf.
If they cheat the system then they earned it.
Crows reduce the rates of lung cancer by aggressively nabbing cigarettes, news at 11.
fuck it let’s just have public health policy via crows
u can’t spell boobytrap without partyboob
Specific Positivity
Do you find it hard to take compliments? I do. A more socially adept friend once explained that it is rude to argue with someone when they compliment you. I’ve taught myself to muster an unenthusiastic “thanks” and change the subject instead; many compliments still make me feel awkward as hell.
My own instinctive bristling at compliments makes me wary of dishing them out. One of my favourite books on communication, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish 1, gives some very evocative hypotheticals illustrating awkward compliments 2:
This is a problem. If I compliment someone else, it’s because I think they’re great! They’ve done some thing or been some way that made me feel good and I want them to feel good in turn. I don’t want them to be doubtful or threatened or zero in on the parts of my praise that ring untrue.
Thankfully, the book offers a solution: shift your compliments from evaluation to description. This is what I call specific positivity. Here’s an example of it from Faber & Mazlish:
In this example, the evaluation- “you write good poetry”- though intended as a compliment, just makes the would-be poet unsure. The descriptive praise, by contrast, leaves evaluation of the poet to themselves. Its aims simply to share a concrete, positive experience of reading the poem.
With specific positivity, you try to give someone evidence that they should be praised, rather than praise itself. They don’t bristle or argue, because all you’ve given them is a description of your own experience. The recipient of your compliment can then use your descriptive evidence to compliment themselves. This is the goal, anyway- get them to feel good by recognizing the good they’ve done or been. Another book I’ve enjoyed recently had similar recommendations for showing appreciation:
Be specific and precise. Instead of saying, for instance, ‘I love being with you’, be specific about what it is you love. For example, ‘I love the way you ring me at midday to see how I am. It makes me feel cared for.’ - How to Stay Sane, Phillipa Perry
Even though the first phrasing doesn’t evaluate the listener, it’s remarkably easier to feel appreciated by the second, specific phrasing. I think much of what people find lacking in platitudes is detail. Without specifics, attempts at complimenting or comforting come out as sprays of positivity to be deflected.
So, how to make it easier for others to take your compliments? Take a moment first to find the action inspired you to compliment someone. Now, describe your positive experience of that action. Offer evidence that the person has done something good, rather than asserting this to be so. Give specific positivity and make compliments less awkward for all of us
yes, it’s a parenting book that I first read when I was eight, but it has a lot of transferable knowledge, okay ↩
Table adapted from content of Faber & Mazlish pages 178-179. ↩
important
Have you ever thought “Man, I feel impossibly shitty and I don’t know why”?
Run through this checklist before you do anything else.
What have I eaten in the last 24 hours? Is it enough? If not, go and eat some food, you butt.
Am I hydrated? If not, put some fluids in your body, fool.
Have I slept an acceptable amount in the last 24 hours and preceeding few days? If not, do your utmost to have a nap. You need a reset, bro.
Have I been outside/partaken in whatever form of exercise I am capable of? You’re stagnating, homie.
Have I communicated with anyone? At all? About anything? In the last 24 hours? Sup, you’re not actually a lone wolf, and even if you’re just shouting BUTTLUMPS at someone over the intertubes, it’s better than shouting it at yourself inside your own head.
So basically: eat, drink, sleep, walk, and talk. If you still feel like emotional ass after that, start looking for more involved explanations.
This shit is no joke.
All of these are extremely important.
Adding: 6. Have I communicated too much? Am I overstimulated? Do I need some quiet time? Go stare at a blank wall in utter silence for a bit.
This just in heterosexual culture still unappealing and weird
women are harpies that are stealing my Man Strength in order to make themselves stronger. I saw one woman who had done this five times, and could now bench-press more than me in the gym. Terrifying.
when a man loves a man they have infinite strength, but when a woman loves a woman they have no weaknesses. chose wisely…
The Unstoppable Gay meets the Immovable Lesbian.
I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight
this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther
me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid
I’m laughing so hard, tbh
Guys there is actually a german ripoff of Aladdin by this terrifying “animation company” (I use that term loosely) Dingo Pictures and I wanted to share Aladdin’s song b/c it is funky fresh
#this is something ud find on the deep web w a bunch of pppl saying its cursed
These movies used to play it the “kids cinema” at our local bank (it was a tv with attached headphones and funny lil chairs)
“you ruined German, the language of poets”
me: leck_mich_im_arsch_wolfgang_amadeus_mozart.mp3
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