In My Secret Life

izzy - loudmouth / femme dyke

[april]

ⓘ Tip You can skip part of the day by taking a nap.

[iwantadamusername]

⚠︎ Tip

Nap lengths are always randomised.

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[vetchtibbles]

I wish they made it even marginally possible to get a job like I’m so fucking sorry I don’t have a rare but also highly demanded skillset, an agreeable disposition, and the ability to survive off of three nickels a week I’m soooo sorry

[gayteensupreme]

"queer-owned business" means nothing anymore. OpenAI and Palantir are both queer-owned businesses.

[gayteensupreme]

if this is how you find out that both sam altman and peter thiel are gay im sorry

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[maelwife]

I love jaywalking with another pedestrian lol we’re unionized

[anglaised]

“cheated on” and “megan thee stallion” in the same sentence is nasty work all men have is audacity……thats so crazy seriously are u out of ur fucking mind……..i hope she has a good hot girl summer like oh she needs it bad

[autistobrat]

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

[yellow-cat]

devastating: autistic person cant find the pair of socks they were planning to wear today. whole days plans rerouted, crashing out imminent

[byjove]

tbh when I ran into the “horses are for rich people” bullshit I was so confused because they’re cheaper than a motorcycle? cheaper than an iPhone? then I realized most people weren’t dealing with the $900-$3k auction slaughterhouse bound pasture ornaments I grew up riding. I get that they’re extraordinarily cost prohibitive pets, especially if you don’t live in an area where land is as cheap as the dirt but you say ‘horse’ and I’m like. oh yeah.

horse.

[fairycosmos]

in so many situations i shouldve just acted fucking worse idc

[animedads-deactivated20210108]

[gilkenansmonsterhouse2006-deact]

i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it

[adulthoodisokay]

one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard

[catgirlforeskin]

It’s like reaching into the cupboard for food and accidentally finding a 19 year old can of soup that you’ve kept for sentimental reasons

[bellossom]

me when I "mysteriously" feel better after I "have something to eat"

[scorpionlafemme]

[scorpionlafemme]

[aidashakur]

[kellydeal]

There’s a new litter of coyote pups hanging out in the Graceland cemetery in Chicago. They are learning how to coyote.

Sound on!

[tzikeh]

@copperbadge

[copperbadge]

I love Chicago's coyotes so much. The only time I've ever seen pups was in Graceland so I think some coyote mama must be coming back every year.

A few things I learned from my hyperfixation on Chicago's coyotes!

Chicago did not release coyotes into downtown as pest control decades ago, that's an urban myth, but the city does officially approve of and protect our colony of about 2,000 urban coyotes because they keep the rats and rabbits in check.

In Chicago as in most urban areas, coyotes are non-aggressive to humans and dogs generally; the two exceptions are in February during mating season and when there are pups nearby. If you see pups and no adult? Walk swiftly away. If you are walking your dog in a suburban or rural area during February, do not let it off leash.

"Coyote" attacks on humans in Chicago, particularly attacks on children, are invariably later found to have been off-leash dogs. If you are walking your dog in urban Chicago, unless you are in an enclosed dog park, do not let it off leash.

Studies of coyote spoor in Chicago and outlying suburbs indicate that coyotes mainly eat rodents and garbage, but are known to eat cats. If you aren't aware by now that your cats should be kept indoors or in controlled outdoor environments only, you must be very new to Tumblr.

In any dispute between human and coyote in Chicago I have come to the conclusion I should side with the coyote. Don't @ me, I have a more aggressive prey drive than they do.