when did you clean this last?

hi! i'm biscuit, I'm a 50 year old queer dude. that parking lot your car is in used to be my parents house and for 20 bucks I won't tell you all about it in detail

[void-drifter]

it’s cheaper to buy vegetables here

[sparkytheandroid]

life feels exactly like this now

[phantomrose96]

I'm very very glad that my knee-jerk, gut-feeling, primal-instinct reaction to seeing a Default Influencer is embarrassment. I think this saves me from a lot of bullshit.

[phantomrose96]

Some lip-filler lady on enough Ozempic to euthanize a horse: "The sad truth is an elite lifestyle takes money and discipline. Buy these brands on credit if you have to. Skip meals."

Me: "Oh. Oh I'm physically experiencing the effects of secondhand embarrassment. You live like this? This is your life? Your interiority? If I was anything like this I'd kill myself I think."

[phantomrose96]

To be clear ☝️, absolutely not gender-exclusive. Some broccoli-haired shirtless 23-year-old man on enough trenbolone to euthanize a different horse starts talking about how to be a high-value male and I start thinking instantly about how I'd have 4,000 slugs use me as a jungle-gym before I'd want this man within cootie-contagion distance of me.

[yamcans-deactivated20150129]

Scooby Doo has great life lessons to teach:

If something evil is happening, it’s probably an old white man trying to make money.

[dykepuffs]

[thyrell]

i love when boomers complain about shit like this because as a fast food worker i would literally rather walk out into the lobby and shoot myself in the head than suggest more than one menu item to a customer

[holycrapitsbags]

Yeah former 8 year Starbucks employ here. This never happens. I’ve have had what amounts to a flip on this happen more often. Something like

“Welcome in what can I get you”

“I want a plain black coffee”

“All rights wha-“

“No sugar or cream or flavor or anything else.”

“Okay, got it, wha-“

“I don’t want no caramachmocha flippy-do’s or frappachina-what-it’s. Just. A plain ol regular black coffee”

“That’s great sir, now please wha”

“Just a old fashioned stright up coff-“

“SIR WHAT SIZE DO YOU WANT YOU STUPID FUCKING COFFEE”

[not100bees]

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

[ramheadedgirl]

delivery

[ramheadedgirl]

shelley duvall from nashville as a saluki

[ramheadedgirl]

garbage nymph

[eldritchbauble]

Can you remember the 90s?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 6 days 11 hours

As in, do any of your memories take place during the 90s (yes, a single memory from 1999 counts).

I can remember about half of them. My earliest memory was probably 1995 and they go from there.

[love-and-hisses]

Good night innernets. (Wonton)

[biscuit-tornado]

it has been observed, as i was yet again contorting myself into ridiculous positions to stretch, that maybe most people dont have muscles that are as actively trying to hurt them and I may want to mention to my doctor

I've been writing off the most recent round to, as i said, lean tissue burning thanks to meds, but this has actually been going on for years. the doctor said once I lost weight it would stop but it's not letting up, surprise surprise.

constant muscle pain indicative of...???

[riotd]

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

[byjove]

‘Nuclear Family Month’ is so funny as a concept. I have never seen a nuclear family worth celebrating.

[dragonessmiralis]

The Addams

[byjove]

Do Grandmama, Uncle Fester and the rotating cast of possibly existent cousins mean nothing to you? 😔

[dragonessmiralis]

I may in fact be stupid

[groovysarity]

We grew up on warm hose water, bad decisions, and sarcasm.

[naughtypiggy]

Completely unsupervised. Feral. Smoking, drinking, weed, and bad decisions by 14. You had thick skin and street smarts or you didn’t make it. We wore leather and thick, non-stretchy denim because it doubled as armor. Child labor laws weren’t the same- we had our own money from working. 

I got out of school, took the bus 15 miles home, went to work from 4 until 11 or 12 at night, and walked home in the dark to an empty house, since my parents worked nights. I got myself up and ready for school before they got home from work. They left the house while I was at work. Sometimes my mom would come through the drive through so we could see each other. I would usually call her when I got home to let her know I was safe. And if it was summer, I would immediately change clothes and go out with my friends until the wee hours.

If something went wrong, we handled it, because there was no other There was no internet, no social media, no cell phones to fuck it up. It was beautiful and terrifying and utterly badass.

10/10 would ruin myself in the 80s/90s again.

[theprofessional-amateur]

She won an exemption from using AI at her tech job. The Pope's remarks could fuel similar appeals.

Legal experts say employers must take AI-related religious objections seriously, as a 2023 ruling raised the bar for denying such accommodat

"The funniest possible outcome of the AI mandate era is about to be HR departments discovering that 'sincerely held religious belief' under Title VII has a much lower bar than they assumed, and Pope Leo handed every Catholic employee a written excuse," wrote Corey Quinn, a software-startup founder in San Francisco, on X.

Employers could wind up in court if they outright dismiss workers who request a faith-based exemption from using AI, said Ashley Herd, a former McKinsey counsel and head of North American HR who now advises managers and employers on workplace issues.

"Playing priest, and telling employees their request isn't legitimate, does not tend to bode well for companies," said Herd, also a cohost of the "HR Besties" podcast. "A jury doesn't like it when employees get made fun of by managers or HR."

[diehellasrache]

[byjove]

The funniest part of A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker is a 19 year old who has not locked in yet and plays with toys and sleeps in his childhood bedroom at his aunt and uncle’s house and Leia Organa is a 19 year old with a mission to save the galaxy from fascism. Luke has never left his hometown, Leia just watched her planet be blown up. He’s peeved his uncle is asking him to do his chores, she’s imprisoned for resisting the government. You relate to them both but they’re on complete opposite sides of the 19 year old life stage spectrum.

[slinky-cat]

Also Luke is clearly very lonely after his crush and best friend, Biggs, went away to college

[byjove]

Yes! Some people have misinterpreted this as me insinuating Luke is a wimp but he’s just in a very transitional life phase that is focused on growing and maturing. His friends are growing up and moving on, he’s anxious to join them but isn’t quite ready. He has ambition and goals but he just isn’t in a place where he is able to pursue those goals, he is immature and that isn’t a bad thing. 19 year olds SHOULD be able to ponder their place in the world and which direction they want their life to take. Leia has been in the public eye her entire life, she is a princess, she has been primed for greatness and she has been shouldered with so much responsibility. Luke is just his aunt and uncle’s nephew, they love him and don’t want him to leave, he’s trying to decide what to do.

[byjove]

He’s like a Midwest farm boy who is dreaming of the big city and she is like an old money New England heiress who has been told since birth she will follow her father’s career path into politics and has been sent to the most competitive schools and enrolled in the most rigorous extracurriculars.