richard iii dashboard simulator. i thought it would be funny and here we are
🐗halfhearteddickjoke
what if i caused problems on purpose <3
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🐗halfhearteddickjoke
oh no... i cant believe the king is having my brother killed... oh noooo
#FUCK YOU GEORGE
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💥ladyanne Follow
man i miss my husband and father in law
🐗halfhearteddickjoke
hey
💥ladyanne
shut the fuck up you literally killed them??? get off my post
🐗halfhearteddickjoke
can i try rizzing you up
💥ladyanne
um. sure?
🐗halfhearteddickjoke
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
💥ladyanne
i can't believe i'm saying this but this is kind of working.
🧍♂️gentleman-retainer
anyone else in this thread smoke weed
958 notes
🌹lancaster-official Follow
you all suck.
@/elizabeth-woodville your son will die and you will be deposed and youre gonna die SAD and ALONE.
@/river-severn @/dorset-sheep and @/billhastings you're gonna get executed
@/halfhearteddickjoke hm. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. nobody hang out with this conniving bitch i hate him i hate him so much and i am three seconds away from killing him constantly.
🐦fuckinghim Follow
get off tumblr margaret we're in court
🌹lancaster-official
he's not gonna want you as his boytoy forever
🐦fuckinghim
WE'RE NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP??????
🌹lancaster-official
i've seen you talk to him. i know what you are
5000 notes
🗼mr-london-tower Follow
just heard george duke of clarence say "snork mimi" aloud i'm gonna [remembers that suicide jokes do nothing for my mental health] request to be moved away from guarding his cell
🗼mr-london-tower
update: so it turns out the malmsey wine is unusable, for related reasons to this man.
#fuckin. dead body in the malmsey. cant have nice things around here #i hate my job so bad
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eddie-baby-deactivated
yayyy everybody is friends now :)
🐗halfhearted-dick-joke
dude you literally killed clarence??? you cant be having other people making friends youre a murderer
eddie-baby-deactivated
WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I CANCELED THAT ORDER???
🐗halfhearted-dick-joke
you killed that guy man what the fuck. you cant be doing that
764 notes
👗elizabeth-woodville Follow
I regret to inform you all that the king has died.
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✨cecily-not-sicily Follow
dude my sons GOTTA stop dying. this is so fucked.
3 notes
🐗halfhearteddickjoke
i do so love to cause problems on purpose :)
#sorry to any family members of lords rivers, vaughan, and grey. um. you will not be seeing them anymore! <3
1285 notes
🐦fuckinghim Follow
preteens are so scary for no reason??? had to interact with two for work and like. they suck so bad. "i fear no uncles dead" shut the fuck up you smartass little shit. also had to explain to them the history of the tower of london which. i don't fucking know that shit! i don't know who built the tower of london! it sure as fuck wasn't julius caesar!
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#️⃣billhastings Follow
SOMEONE has got to stop waking me up in the middle of the night to hear their dreams
#️⃣billhastings
oh what the fuck.
607 notes
🍓bishop-ely Follow
crazy day at work today
#never go outside to get strawberries worst mistake of my life #came back in the room and they were accusing hastings of witchcraft. like sure yeah i guess
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🐦fuckinghim Follow
richard duke of gloucester should be king because not only are edward v and richard duke of york illegitimate but also so was edward iv. also richard duke of gloucester is just. kind of an all around good guy! as opposed to edward iv who ah. how do i put this in a manner that isn't horribly offensive. yeah okay figured it out. not a great person! unpleasant to be around!
also if you wanna know what was up with hastings he was a traitor don't worry about it.
954 notes
💥ladyanne Follow
RICHARD. RICHARD WHEN I CATCH YOU RICHARD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN KING OF ENGLAND
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🐦fuckinghim Follow
shit dude that one vine wasn't lying. what the fuck richard
#i have to leave immediately. jesus fucking christ man.
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🐗halfhearteddickjoke
yay king of england :) i will be very good at this i feel
#everybody's always like "what the fuck richard you can't kill two kids" or "why would you do that" and never like "was it fun having those preteens killed. it looked fun"
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🌹lancaster-official Follow
@/halfhearteddickjoke FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
submitted by @/elizabeth-woodville
90 notes
🐗halfhearteddickjoke
wow everything is going so bad. what the entire shit @/fuckinghim
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🐦fuckinghim Follow
ughhh margaret was right. NOT ABOUT THE BOYTOY THING
307 notes
®️henry-twoder-or-something Follow
hi ive been here the whole time. ive done the math and i do technically have a claim to the throne :)
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🐗halfhearteddickjoke
i cant believe im saying this but i did just have an ebenezer scrooge moment. god i hate it here.
#maybe i am a bad person
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®️henry-twoder-or-something Follow
wow richard has died :) i cant believe i am the king now! yayyyy
2 notes
🚣♂️resident-dumb-fuck Follow
final message from op! sorry everyone. im so annoying about this forever























