How Lord Peter Wimsey reacts to His Child Being Born
"Good God!" said his lordship. "Did I do that?"
"All the evidence points that way," replied his wife.
"Then I can only say that I never knew so convincing a body of evidence produce such an inadequate result."
The nurse appeared to take this reflection personally. She said in a tone of rebuke: "He's a beautiful boy."
"H'm," said Peter. He adjusted his eyeglass more carefully. "Well, you're the expert witness. Hand him over."
The nurse did so with a dubious air. She was relieved to see that this disconcerting parent handled the child competently; as, in a man who was an experienced uncle, was not, after all, so very surprising. Lord Peter sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed.
"Do you feel it's up to standard?" he inquired with some anxiety. "Of course, your workmanship's always sound—but you never know with these collaborate efforts."
"I think it'll do," said Harriet drowsily.
"Good." He turned abruptly to the nurse. "All right; we'll keep it. Take it and put it away, and tell 'em to invoice it to me. It's a very interesting addition to you, Harriet; but it would have been a hell of a rotten substitute." His voice wavered a little, for the last twenty-four hours had been very trying ones, and he had had the fright of his life.
The doctor, who had been doing something in the other room entered in time to catch the last words. "There was never any likelihood of that, you goop," he said, cheerfully.
-Excerpt from The Haunted Policeman by Dorothy Sayers
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