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@blessingsinwinter
❝ 𝗠𝗬 𝓜𝗢𝗢𝗡, 𝗠𝗬 𝓜𝗔𝗡 ❞ ♡ verity ⋮ she / her ⸝⸝ sagittarius ⸝⸝ multi-fandom
this user always ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ so posts come twice a week
♫ 𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥 (’88 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣) (2023 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿) ↻
› › masterlist. + rules. ⌗ ┆ ୨୧ ⌞requests: open ─ be patient w/ me! writing takes time⌝
݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ blue lock bunny (˶>⩊<˶)
᧔ෆ᧓ 𝓒𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝓞𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘 ੭﹕ loki likes bringing people to watch you
(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ thanks for visiting !! ◞
You're like my fav writer ever bro how do you never miss
OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU 🥹 IM SQUEALING LIKE AN EXCITED CHILD RN.
i’m using you as my motivation to write every time i feel like a lazy bum (which is often LOL)
also i LOVE your blog theme. your pinned post is sososo pretty!!
˖Ი𐑼⋆ cute, cute, very cute | ft. itoshi sae
itoshi sae, whose girlfriend loves him loudly.
not in the embarrassing way. not in the clingy, overbearing way people always assume when they see you wrapped around him with your cheek pressed into his shoulder while he scrolls through his phone.
just openly.
like loving him is the easiest thing you’ve ever done.
at the beginning of your relationship, you used to ask before every touch.
“can i hold your hand?”
“is this okay?”
“do you want space?”
sae remembers the first time you asked if you could hug him.
you stood outside your apartment after your third date, fingers hooked behind your back, swaying slightly on your heels while looking at him with careful eyes.
not nervous.
considerate.
like you were trying to learn the shape of him before touching anything fragile.
“you can say no,” you told him quickly. “i just like hugging you.”
sae stared at you for a second. then said yes.
and you hugged him like it meant something.
not casually. not absentmindedly.
you wrapped your arms around him with this quiet sort of sincerity that made his chest feel oddly tight.
he remembers standing there thinking:
oh.
so this is what it feels like to be wanted gently.
months later, you’re practically melted across him on the couch while he rewatches match footage.
one of your legs thrown over his lap. your cheek against his shoulder. fingers playing lazily with the ends of his hair while he scrolls through clips on his tablet.
“you’re staring again,” he says without looking away from the screen.
“i know.”
“why.”
you hum thoughtfully, like this requires genuine analysis.
“i like your face.”
“that’s vague.”
“okay,” you murmur, shifting slightly so you can look at him properly. “you also have very delicate eyelashes.”
“. . .”
“they look soft.”
“they are eyelashes.”
“mhm. pretty ones." your thumb smooths against his temple. “they curl at the ends when you’re tired.”
sae finally glances at you then.
you’re looking at him with unbearable fondness. soft-eyed and completely serious.
like this is important information.
you smile a little when he looks back. “there you are.”
“what does that mean.”
“you disappear into your head sometimes.” another gentle stroke through his hair. “i like when you come back.”
something in his chest shifts quietly at that.
you always notice things.
small things.
the difference between his exhausted silences and his irritated ones. the way his shoulders loosen after a shower. how he taps his fingers against his leg when he’s thinking too hard about something.
you notice all of it like memorising him is instinctive.
and somehow, instead of making him feel watched, it only makes him feel known.
you’re always touching him when you’re alone together.
your hand in his hair. your face pressed into his neck. your fingers tracing slow shapes against his arm while you talk to him about whatever strange thought has crossed your mind that night.
you ask him questions at one in the morning while half asleep against his chest.
“do you think people stay the same forever underneath everything, or do they become entirely different versions of themselves every few years?”
or,
“if soccer never existed, what kind of person do you think you would’ve become?”
sometimes the conversations last for hours. sometimes they fade naturally into silence while your fingertips drift absentmindedly against his skin.
sae likes both equally.
especially because you never seem uncomfortable with quiet. you just like being near him.
and you love him so visibly.
that’s probably the part that unsettled him most in the beginning.
you never acted embarrassed by how much you adored him.
you looked happy when he walked into a room.
your entire face softened whenever you looked at him for too long.
you called him cute constantly, which had genuinely annoyed him at first.
the first time you said it, he thought you were joking.
“you’re cute when you’re irritated,” you told him one evening while he stared at you flatly from across the kitchen.
“that’s not a compliment.”
“to you maybe,” you’d replied easily.
the problem was that you always sounded so sincere.
you never called him handsome or hot. never used the kind of compliments he was used to hearing from other people.
only cute.
but when you said it, it sounded strangely precious. like you were calling attention to parts of him nobody else noticed.
sae gets home late most nights.
between training, media appearances, travel, and sponsorship obligations, exhaustion settles deep into his bones more often than not. there are days where he barely feels like speaking by the time he reaches the apartment.
and then he opens the front door.
there’s usually about two seconds of silence before he hears your voice from somewhere inside.
“sae?”
then the sound of quick footsteps.
the first time you slid around the hallway corner in socks, you nearly slammed directly into the wall trying to get to him faster. now he expects it.
“you’re going to hurt yourself one day,” he says automatically as you hurry toward him.
“probably,” you admit easily before wrapping your arms around his waist anyway.
you always hug him immediately after he gets home. like you’ve been waiting to do it all day.
your cheek presses against his chest while you mumble a quiet, “welcome home.”
it does something strange to him every time.
because nobody has ever said those words to him like they truly meant it.
like home was a person instead of a place.
his hand settles instinctively at the back of your head. “were you waiting long?”
“not really.”
he knows that’s a lie immediately.
there’s a blanket tangled on the couch and a book lying open beside it. one of the lamps is still on. you probably fell asleep trying to wait for him again.
when he points it out, you only shrug sheepishly.
“i wanted to see you first.”
you always say things like that so simply.
never expecting anything in return.
never making him feel guilty for being busy.
you have your own life. your own friends and routines and responsibilities. but somehow you still make space for him so naturally that being loved by you never feels heavy.
there are nights where you climb directly into his lap halfway through a conversation and bury your face into his shoulder without warning.
“hi,” you mumble against his neck.
“. . . hi?”
“pick me up.”
“you’re already on top of me.”
“properly.”
he sighs like you’re inconveniencing him, but his hands are already moving to your waist before he even finishes speaking.
you grin victoriously when he stands with you clinging to him like a koala.
“you’re needy.”
“and you adore me," you tell him with complete certainty.
sae looks at you for a long moment before answering.
“. . . obviously.”
your expression softens every single time he says things like that, no matter how casually.
like part of you still can’t fully believe he means it.
truthfully, sae doesn’t think he fully understands it either sometimes.
that someone can know him this well and still love him this gently.
sometimes he comes home and finds you asleep on the couch waiting for him.
those nights affect him more than he likes admitting.
he’ll walk into the apartment quietly and see you curled beneath a blanket with a book slipping from your lap, glasses slightly crooked from sleep while the lamp beside you casts warm light across your face.
you always try so hard to stay awake for him.
and always fail eventually.
he stands there for a moment just looking at you before setting his bag down.
“baby,” he murmurs softly.
you wake slowly every time, blinking at him with sleepy confusion before your entire expression changes the second you recognise him.
“sae . . .”
your voice is rough with sleep.
warm.
you sit up right away despite still looking half unconscious, reaching for him on instinct alone.
“you’re home,” you mumble, like you’d been thinking about that fact all evening.
he leans down automatically when your hands cup his face.
you stare at him for a second, eyes heavy-lidded as you look over his features carefully, thumbs brushing beneath his eyes.
“you look tired,” you whisper.
“long day.”
a small frown appears on your face for exactly two seconds before you lean forward and press a soft kiss to his forehead.
then another to his cheek.
then one to the corner of his mouth.
and then suddenly you’re kissing him everywhere with sleepy determination. gentle little kisses scattered across his face while your fingers slide into his hair.
his jaw.
his cheekbone.
the bridge of his nose.
back to his jaw again because you seem particularly attached to kissing him there.
“missed you,” you mumble between soft kisses.
sae’s hands settle around your waist as he lets you pull him closer. “you should’ve gone to bed.”
“i wanted to wait for you.”
“you fell asleep.”
“emotionally i was awake.”
he stares at you for a second while you smile sleepily against his face.
“. . . that doesn’t make any sense.”
“it does to me.”
you only continue kissing him afterward, warm and sleepy and impossibly affectionate while your fingers slide through his hair.
“you’re very clingy when you’re tired,” he murmurs quietly.
“mhm.” you admit. then you look at him carefully again, your expression softening almost painfully. “and you’re very cute when you’re tired.”
“there it is again.”
you hum sleepily against his face, smiling a little when his fingers slide beneath the blanket pooled around your legs.
“can’t help it,” you mumble. “you come home looking all worn out and pretty.”
sae gives you a look at that. “pretty?”
“very.” your thumb brushes slowly beneath his eye. “especially right now.”
your expression softens even further the longer you look at him.
it always does.
like every time you see him after being apart for a while, you still need a second to process that he’s actually there.
it used to make him uncomfortable.
now he thinks he’d notice immediately if you ever stopped.
you suddenly narrow your eyes slightly, head tilting as you study him with sleepy seriousness. “did you eat properly today?”
“yes.”
“protein and everything?”
“. . . yes.”
“good.” a tiny approving nod before you kiss his cheek again. “good boy.”
sae actually blinks.
slowly.
you don’t even realise what you’ve said at first because you’re too busy smoothing his hair back from his forehead.
then your eyes widen slightly.
“oh my god,” you groan. “pretend i didn’t say that.”
he stares at you flatly. “that’s difficult.”
you bury your face into his shoulder immediately, muffling a horrified laugh. “i didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
“. . . right.”
“that was supposed to stay in my head.”
“you have concerning thoughts.”
“you’re literally sitting here letting me kiss you forty times in a row.”
“that’s unrelated.”
you laugh into his shoulder while he feels your face heating against his neck.
the worst part was that he could tell from the immediate horror on your face that it had genuinely slipped out by accident.
you peek up at him eventually, smiling sheepishly.
“you secretly liked it.”
sae doesn’t answer straight away.
because the annoying thing is ─ you’re right again.
he likes your hands in his hair.
likes the way your face lights up when he walks through the door.
likes being loved by someone who never makes him question it.
your fingers drift lazily along the back of his neck while your eyelids begin drooping again.
“sorry,” you mumble suddenly. “i know you’re probably exhausted.”
“i’m fine.”
“still.” your gaze flickers over his face carefully. “you work so hard.”
something in his chest twists quietly at the softness in your voice.
you say things so gently sometimes it catches him completely off guard.
before he can respond, you lean in again and press three tiny kisses to his jaw in quick succession.
it was affectionate enough to make his chest ache with it.
“cute,” you whisper against his skin.
another kiss.
“cute.”
another.
“very cute.”
sae exhales quietly through his nose while you smile against him. “you’re obsessed with me.”
“why wouldn't i be?”
sae looks at you for a long second after that.
then he finally sits properly beside you, letting you curl against his chest beneath the blanket. the moment he settles, you tuck yourself into him with a sleepy sigh, arms wrapping loosely around his middle.
comfortable. instinctive.
like your body already knows exactly where it belongs.
“there,” you mumble contently. “better.”
his hand moves instinctively to the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair carefully as you tug lightly on his sleeve.
“sorry again,” you mumble drowsily. “you want quiet after practice.”
sae’s hand moves to the back of your head automatically, smoothing your hair down.
“this is quiet.”
you smile against him at that.
a few minutes later your breathing evens out again, sleep finally pulling you under for real this time.
the room falls quiet for a while.
just the soft sound of your breathing and the occasional sleepy kiss you press against whatever part of him is closest.
but right before you drift off completely, sae hears one last sleepy mumble against his shoulder.
“pretty cute . . .”
and despite himself, despite everything ─
his mouth curves slightly into your hair.
a/n (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ based on this lovely request.
© blessingsinwinter 𓏲ּ𝄢 .ᐟ please don't copy, modify, translate or take any of my work.
hi hi, i love how you write for sae!! 💓
could i request sae x reader? i know you already write quite a lot for him, so my apologies if this is repetitive at all.
sae with a very affectionate reader would be interesting. of course at first into the beginning of the relationship she always asked him if it was ok to touch him—and in public is respectful.
but when they’re alone? she’s always draped over him, hugging him. finding any excuse to ask him to pick her up. nuzzling into him.
she has the kind of personality where she talks a lot—but the meaningful kind. it’s not thoughtless chatter, she’s quite intelligent. asking him such odd but insightful questions.
and she clearly, outwardly adores him. im not sure if its really anything like his previous relationships if he’s had any at all.
he’ll get home, and it’s a second or two until he can hear his name being shouted from inside the apartment and she’s already sliding on the floor around the corner to greet him. she’s nearly fallen multiple times.
she pets his head so lovingly. never calls him handsome, or hot, or sexy—she only ever calls him cute. peppering his face with kisses and his jaw especially.
she’s fallen asleep multiple times waiting for him. just on the couch, reading or something. she definitely has a life outside of their relationship, but always makes time for him.
ALSO YOUR THEME IS SO CUTE??? I love it.
AHH TYSM 🥹🥹
i love writing for sae so don’t even stress!!
the fic is kinda all over the place as i didn’t know how to tie together all the ideas, but i hope it’s fluffy and cute enough to power through 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯
posted here. click click click!!
݁ ˖ Ი𐑼⋆ steady hands | ft. itoshi sae
the train ride to sae's apartment feels longer than it actually is.
maybe because your phone won’t stop buzzing in your coat pocket, maybe because your chest still hurts from yelling so hard your throat went raw, maybe because every time you blink you can still see your mum’s face twisted up in frustration while your dad stood there pretending silence would magically fix things.
or maybe it’s because you weren’t really planning on going anywhere after storming out.
your feet just sorta carried you here.
by the time you’re standing outside sae's apartment door, your fingers are stiff from the cold and your brain feels completely hollowed out. like someone scooped every thought out of your head and left nothing behind except static.
you stare at the door for a solid minute before knocking once.
then twice.
you almost leave before it opens.
sae looks annoyed at first, hair messy from sleep despite it only being a bit past midnight, but the second his eyes land on you properly, his expression changes.
not dramatically. he’s still sae.
still unreadable and sharp around the edges, still looking at you with that same calm detached expression he gives everyone else.
but softer somehow. quieter.
“what happened?”
and that’s the thing that nearly breaks you.
not because he sounds panicked, but because he doesn’t.
he sounds steady, grounded, like he already expects to take care of this without making a huge deal out of it.
you open your mouth but nothing comes out.
sae's eyes flick down to your shaking hands, then back up again.
“. . . come inside.”
the apartment’s warm. way too warm compared to outside, enough that it makes your eyes sting instantly. you toe your shoes off near the entrance while sae disappears into the kitchen without another word.
you stand there awkwardly for a second before hearing the kettle click on.
“sit down before you fall over,” he calls out.
his tone’s blunt, but there’s no bite to it.
you sink onto the couch slowly, curling into yourself automatically. your body feels heavy. exhausted. like every part of you’s given up trying to function properly hours ago.
sae comes back with a mug of tea you didn’t ask for and places it carefully on the coffee table.
“drink.”
you nod even though you don’t really want it.
he sits beside you but not too close, giving you enough space that it doesn’t feel suffocating. the silence stretches out between you comfortably at first.
then painfully.
your phone buzzes again against your thigh.
mum.
you flip it face down immediately.
sae notices.
of course he notices.
“you gonna answer them?”
you shake your head.
“you wanna tell me what happened?”
another shake.
he sighs quietly through his nose, eaning back into the couch cushions.
“figured.”
normally people get frustrated with you eventually.
they push and push for answers until you shut down even harder, then act offended when you can’t magically explain why your brain stops working whenever things get too overwhelming.
but sae doesn’t push.
he just sits there beside you while the kettle’s warmth slowly fades from the mug in your hands.
minutes pass.
maybe longer.
eventually your breathing starts evening out enough that speaking doesn’t feel impossible anymore.
“they said i ruin everything.”
your voice sounds awful. small and cracked apart from crying earlier.
sae glances towards you but stays quiet, letting you continue at your own pace.
you keep staring at the tea.
“they always say i’m miserable to be around,” you continue quietly. “that i never talk anymore and i make everyone feel tense all the time.”
your fingers tighten around the mug.
“they said they’re tired of dealing with me.”
the words come out flatly, like you’re repeating something you heard in a dream instead of something that actually lodged itself into your chest permanently.
sae's jaw tenses. “that’s shit parenting.”
you let out a weak laugh despite yourself. it barely lasts a second.
“i dunno. maybe they’re right.”
“they’re not.”
the response comes instantly.
firm. certain. not even slightly hesitant.
you finally look at him then.
sae's staring straight ahead, arms crossed loosely, expression tight with irritation that clearly isn’t directed at you.
“you shutting down doesn’t make you difficult,” he says after a moment. “it means you’re overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal with it properly yet.”
your throat closes up painfully.
because he says it so simply, as if it should’ve always been obvious. like it’s not something shameful or exhausting to him.
you look down quickly before he notices your eyes watering again, but he notices anyway.
he reaches over without saying anything and gently pulls the mug from your hands before you accidentally spill it everywhere from shaking too hard.
then he moves closer.
not enough to trap you or overwhelm you.
just enough that his shoulder presses lightly against yours.
his arm settles around your shoulders carefully, almost hesitant for half a second like he’s giving you room to pull away if you want to.
you don’t.
the second his hand starts rubbing slow circles against your arm, something in you completely caves in.
you start crying silently at first, trying to hold it back out of habit.
then all at once, harsh, ugly sobs force their way out of your chest ─ hard enough that it physically hurts to breathe around them.
you bury your face against his hoodie immediately, embarrassed, but sae just tightens his hold around you and lets you cry into him properly.
“easy,” he murmurs quietly.
his voice sounds different like this. softer than anyone else ever gets to hear.
“just let it out.”
and maybe it’s pathetic how badly you needed someone to say that to you.
because usually you’re the one apologising for crying too much or feeling too much or being too quiet or too distant or too exhausted to act like a normal person.
but sae never asks you to apologise.
even when your tears soak through his hoodie.
even when your breathing turns uneven.
even when you can barely speak properly anymore because your chest hurts too badly.
he just keeps holding you steadily against him, one hand pressed against the back of your head while the other rubs slow grounding circles into your arm.
grounding you.
keeping you here from disappearing completely into your own head again.
“you don’t have to talk tonight,” he says eventually, voice low above you. “just stay here and sleep for a bit, alright?”
your fingers curl weakly into the fabric of his sleeve while you try to steady your breathing enough to answer.
“. . . okay.”
sae hums softly in response.
then, after a pause, his hand stills briefly against your arm before he quietly says, “you’re not ruining anything by being hurt.”
and somehow that hurts worse than the argument itself.
because you realise no one’s ever said it to you before in a way that sounded genuinely certain.
a/n (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ based on this lovely request. for anyone who can relate to such things, i hope this writing piece can bring you some form of comfort and hope. gentle reminder that you matter in every way („• ֊ •„) <𝟑
© blessingsinwinter 𓏲ּ𝄢 .ᐟ please don't copy, modify, translate or take any of my work.
hi i was the anon who requested ur latest post and it was amazing thank you🥳🥳 LMAO honestly i forgot i requested it but i remember the day i did i was going through it i was projecting soo bad. your writing it amazing !!! keep it up!!
aww tysm 🥹 the idea was adorable.
and i hope you feel better now!! sending you virtual hugs (๑•᎑•๑)
݁ ˖ Ი𐑼⋆ steady hands | ft. itoshi sae
the train ride to sae's apartment feels longer than it actually is.
maybe because your phone won’t stop buzzing in your coat pocket, maybe because your chest still hurts from yelling so hard your throat went raw, maybe because every time you blink you can still see your mum’s face twisted up in frustration while your dad stood there pretending silence would magically fix things.
or maybe it’s because you weren’t really planning on going anywhere after storming out.
your feet just sorta carried you here.
by the time you’re standing outside sae's apartment door, your fingers are stiff from the cold and your brain feels completely hollowed out. like someone scooped every thought out of your head and left nothing behind except static.
you stare at the door for a solid minute before knocking once.
then twice.
you almost leave before it opens.
sae looks annoyed at first, hair messy from sleep despite it only being a bit past midnight, but the second his eyes land on you properly, his expression changes.
not dramatically. he’s still sae.
still unreadable and sharp around the edges, still looking at you with that same calm detached expression he gives everyone else.
but softer somehow. quieter.
“what happened?”
and that’s the thing that nearly breaks you.
not because he sounds panicked, but because he doesn’t.
he sounds steady, grounded, like he already expects to take care of this without making a huge deal out of it.
you open your mouth but nothing comes out.
sae's eyes flick down to your shaking hands, then back up again.
“. . . come inside.”
the apartment’s warm. way too warm compared to outside, enough that it makes your eyes sting instantly. you toe your shoes off near the entrance while sae disappears into the kitchen without another word.
you stand there awkwardly for a second before hearing the kettle click on.
“sit down before you fall over,” he calls out.
his tone’s blunt, but there’s no bite to it.
you sink onto the couch slowly, curling into yourself automatically. your body feels heavy. exhausted. like every part of you’s given up trying to function properly hours ago.
sae comes back with a mug of tea you didn’t ask for and places it carefully on the coffee table.
“drink.”
you nod even though you don’t really want it.
he sits beside you but not too close, giving you enough space that it doesn’t feel suffocating. the silence stretches out between you comfortably at first.
then painfully.
your phone buzzes again against your thigh.
mum.
you flip it face down immediately.
sae notices.
of course he notices.
“you gonna answer them?”
you shake your head.
“you wanna tell me what happened?”
another shake.
he sighs quietly through his nose, eaning back into the couch cushions.
“figured.”
normally people get frustrated with you eventually.
they push and push for answers until you shut down even harder, then act offended when you can’t magically explain why your brain stops working whenever things get too overwhelming.
but sae doesn’t push.
he just sits there beside you while the kettle’s warmth slowly fades from the mug in your hands.
minutes pass.
maybe longer.
eventually your breathing starts evening out enough that speaking doesn’t feel impossible anymore.
“they said i ruin everything.”
your voice sounds awful. small and cracked apart from crying earlier.
sae glances towards you but stays quiet, letting you continue at your own pace.
you keep staring at the tea.
“they always say i’m miserable to be around,” you continue quietly. “that i never talk anymore and i make everyone feel tense all the time.”
your fingers tighten around the mug.
“they said they’re tired of dealing with me.”
the words come out flatly, like you’re repeating something you heard in a dream instead of something that actually lodged itself into your chest permanently.
sae's jaw tenses. “that’s shit parenting.”
you let out a weak laugh despite yourself. it barely lasts a second.
“i dunno. maybe they’re right.”
“they’re not.”
the response comes instantly.
firm. certain. not even slightly hesitant.
you finally look at him then.
sae's staring straight ahead, arms crossed loosely, expression tight with irritation that clearly isn’t directed at you.
“you shutting down doesn’t make you difficult,” he says after a moment. “it means you’re overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal with it properly yet.”
your throat closes up painfully.
because he says it so simply, as if it should’ve always been obvious. like it’s not something shameful or exhausting to him.
you look down quickly before he notices your eyes watering again, but he notices anyway.
he reaches over without saying anything and gently pulls the mug from your hands before you accidentally spill it everywhere from shaking too hard.
then he moves closer.
not enough to trap you or overwhelm you.
just enough that his shoulder presses lightly against yours.
his arm settles around your shoulders carefully, almost hesitant for half a second like he’s giving you room to pull away if you want to.
you don’t.
the second his hand starts rubbing slow circles against your arm, something in you completely caves in.
you start crying silently at first, trying to hold it back out of habit.
then all at once, harsh, ugly sobs force their way out of your chest ─ hard enough that it physically hurts to breathe around them.
you bury your face against his hoodie immediately, embarrassed, but sae just tightens his hold around you and lets you cry into him properly.
“easy,” he murmurs quietly.
his voice sounds different like this. softer than anyone else ever gets to hear.
“just let it out.”
and maybe it’s pathetic how badly you needed someone to say that to you.
because usually you’re the one apologising for crying too much or feeling too much or being too quiet or too distant or too exhausted to act like a normal person.
but sae never asks you to apologise.
even when your tears soak through his hoodie.
even when your breathing turns uneven.
even when you can barely speak properly anymore because your chest hurts too badly.
he just keeps holding you steadily against him, one hand pressed against the back of your head while the other rubs slow grounding circles into your arm.
grounding you.
keeping you here from disappearing completely into your own head again.
“you don’t have to talk tonight,” he says eventually, voice low above you. “just stay here and sleep for a bit, alright?”
your fingers curl weakly into the fabric of his sleeve while you try to steady your breathing enough to answer.
“. . . okay.”
sae hums softly in response.
then, after a pause, his hand stills briefly against your arm before he quietly says, “you’re not ruining anything by being hurt.”
and somehow that hurts worse than the argument itself.
because you realise no one’s ever said it to you before in a way that sounded genuinely certain.
a/n (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ based on this lovely request. for anyone who can relate to such things, i hope this writing piece can bring you some form of comfort and hope. gentle reminder that you matter in every way („• ֊ •„) <𝟑
© blessingsinwinter 𓏲ּ𝄢 .ᐟ please don't copy, modify, translate or take any of my work.
helloo do you think you could write sae hurt/comfort w an extremely depressed reader (who kinda shuts down when upset, never rlly opens up or ask for help) w the scenario being reader having a huge argument w parents resulting in her leaving and going to sae’s apartment? :>
i can understand that this can be triggering to some people so pls ignore if uncomfortable writing !!
i love writing comfort fics so dw!!
i'm not sure how to properly portray depression and whatnot so i'm sorry if it isn't accurate or how you imagined.
thank you for the beautiful request (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) ‹𝟹
posted here. click click click!!
chanel confusion | ft. itoshi rin
it starts with a song you don’t think much of at first.
something catchy, something you put on without really deciding to, and then forget to turn off because it settles too easily into everything you’re doing. it follows you around the room, slipping into the background of your thoughts until you stop noticing it as something separate and just start existing with it there.
rin notices it before you think he does.
he always does.
he doesn’t comment at first. he just hears it when he walks in, catches it when he passes by, and slowly starts recognising it as something that is always there when you are. it doesn’t seem important in the beginning. just a song you like. nothing unusual about that.
but you don’t stop.
you replay it without thinking, especially the same part over and over again, until it becomes so familiar to you that you don’t notice how often it repeats. but rin does.
“chanel, chanel . . .”
by the third day, he finally asks, voice even as it cuts through the room.
“why do you keep playing that.”
you look up from your phone like you’ve just been pulled out of something ordinary, blinking once before shrugging.
“i just like it.”
you say it like that’s all it is.
and for a moment, it should be.
but rin doesn’t leave it there.
he doesn’t press, not directly. he just starts noticing more. the way you hum it under your breath when you’re not paying attention, the way you repeat the same line without hesitation, like it matters more than just liking it enough to listen.
and somewhere along the way, he starts deciding it must mean something else.
something directed.
something intentional.
something you just haven’t said out loud yet.
he doesn’t ask again.
he just starts watching more closely.
it builds quietly after that.
not in anything obvious at first, just small things appearing where they didn’t used to be. nothing loud, nothing dramatic ─ just gestures that feel connected to a conclusion he hasn’t spoken out loud yet.
you notice the first one immediately.
a box placed neatly where you’ll see it first thing in the morning. too deliberate to be accidental. you pause before opening it, then glance up almost immediately.
he’s already there.
watching.
not impatient, just waiting.
“. . . rin.”
“what.”
you lift it slightly. “why did you get me this?”
his expression doesn’t change.
“you like it.”
you blink. “i like what?”
“you kept playing that song.”
there’s a beat of silence as that settles properly.
“. . . that’s not how that works,” you say slowly, trying not to laugh yet.
his brows knit slightly, not annoyed, just trying to follow. “then why play it so much.”
“because i like the song,” you correct gently. “not this. not what you bought. the song.”
he stops for a moment.
not dramatically ─ just enough for his assumption to shift slightly out of place.
“. . . you don’t want it?”
you glance at it again, then back at him.
“i’m not saying i don’t like it,” you admit, softer now, “but that’s not why i was playing it.”
another pause settles between you, quieter this time.
he exhales through his nose, gaze dropping slightly as if he’s recalculating everything in his head.
“. . . you repeated it,” he says again, almost under his breath.
you tilt your head. “it’s a chorus, rin”
that still doesn’t fix anything for him.
it doesn’t end there, because once rin locks onto something, he doesn’t really let it go cleanly.
another gift appears a few days later, then another after that. never excessive, just consistent enough to still feel like it fits the same line of thinking he hasn’t corrected yet.
and every time, your reaction becomes familiar.
confusion first. then amusement. then that slow realisation that he is still very much operating under the same misunderstanding.
one afternoon, you finally look at him properly, leaning against the counter with the latest thing he’s left you.
“i’m starting to think you don’t know what songs are.”
he pauses.
just like that.
his eyes flick briefly to you.
“. . . what.”
you gesture vaguely at everything.
“this. all of this. you’re treating it like it has hidden meanings.”
he goes quiet for a moment, then:
“you’re still playing it.”
“because i like it.”
“and you keep repeating the same part.”
you stare at him for a second longer, then your expression shifts ─ less confusion now, more disbelief, something that almost softens into fondness.
“. . . oh my god.”
that finally makes him pause properly.
you laugh under your breath, shaking your head slightly.
“you thought i was hinting at you.”
silence.
he doesn’t deny it.
doesn’t confirm it either.
just looks at you like he’s still trying to make both versions of reality match.
you smile a little more gently now.
“rin. no.”
“then why.”
“because it’s catchy,” you say simply. “it’s just a song.”
that lands differently.
not loudly, but enough that something in him loosens slightly, like he’s letting go of a conclusion he didn’t realise he was holding so tightly.
“. . . you should’ve said that.”
you raise a brow. “i did. multiple times.”
“not clearly.”
that pulls a quiet laugh out of you, softer this time, more fond than anything else.
“you’re ridiculous.”
he doesn’t respond, but he isn’t tense anymore either.
just listening.
you sit beside him without thinking about it, nudging his arm lightly.
“for the record,” you add, still smiling, “if i want something, i’ll tell you.”
his gaze flicks to you briefly.
“. . . you don’t always.”
you pause.
then exhale through your nose.
“okay, fair.”
the song keeps playing low in the background, no longer something either of you are really focused on ─ just something filling the space between words.
you lean back slightly, letting the quiet settle properly this time.
“but not like this.”
a beat passes.
rin looks away first.
“. . . noted.”
you grin.
“so what now.”
he doesn’t answer immediately, glancing once more at what he bought before looking back at you like the conclusion is still there ─ just less absolute than before.
“. . . you still like it.”
it isn’t a question.
you hum softly.
“yeah. it’s a good song.”
there’s a pause after that, not empty ─ just settled, like it doesn’t need anything added to it.
then, flatly, he adds:
“don’t repeat anything else.”
you laugh under your breath, leaning your head against his shoulder like it’s nothing new at all.
“no promises.”
he exhales softly, but he doesn’t move away.
and this time, when the song loops again in the background, he doesn’t overthink it.
he just listens.
a/n (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ based on this lovely request. such a cute idea hehe!!
© blessingsinwinter 𓏲ּ𝄢 .ᐟ please don't copy, modify, translate or take any of my work.
chanel confusion | ft. itoshi rin
it starts with a song you don’t think much of at first.
something catchy, something you put on without really deciding to, and then forget to turn off because it settles too easily into everything you’re doing. it follows you around the room, slipping into the background of your thoughts until you stop noticing it as something separate and just start existing with it there.
rin notices it before you think he does.
he always does.
he doesn’t comment at first. he just hears it when he walks in, catches it when he passes by, and slowly starts recognising it as something that is always there when you are. it doesn’t seem important in the beginning. just a song you like. nothing unusual about that.
but you don’t stop.
you replay it without thinking, especially the same part over and over again, until it becomes so familiar to you that you don’t notice how often it repeats. but rin does.
“chanel, chanel . . .”
by the third day, he finally asks, voice even as it cuts through the room.
“why do you keep playing that.”
you look up from your phone like you’ve just been pulled out of something ordinary, blinking once before shrugging.
“i just like it.”
you say it like that’s all it is.
and for a moment, it should be.
but rin doesn’t leave it there.
he doesn’t press, not directly. he just starts noticing more. the way you hum it under your breath when you’re not paying attention, the way you repeat the same line without hesitation, like it matters more than just liking it enough to listen.
and somewhere along the way, he starts deciding it must mean something else.
something directed.
something intentional.
something you just haven’t said out loud yet.
he doesn’t ask again.
he just starts watching more closely.
it builds quietly after that.
not in anything obvious at first, just small things appearing where they didn’t used to be. nothing loud, nothing dramatic ─ just gestures that feel connected to a conclusion he hasn’t spoken out loud yet.
you notice the first one immediately.
a box placed neatly where you’ll see it first thing in the morning. too deliberate to be accidental. you pause before opening it, then glance up almost immediately.
he’s already there.
watching.
not impatient, just waiting.
“. . . rin.”
“what.”
you lift it slightly. “why did you get me this?”
his expression doesn’t change.
“you like it.”
you blink. “i like what?”
“you kept playing that song.”
there’s a beat of silence as that settles properly.
“. . . that’s not how that works,” you say slowly, trying not to laugh yet.
his brows knit slightly, not annoyed, just trying to follow. “then why play it so much.”
“because i like the song,” you correct gently. “not this. not what you bought. the song.”
he stops for a moment.
not dramatically ─ just enough for his assumption to shift slightly out of place.
“. . . you don’t want it?”
you glance at it again, then back at him.
“i’m not saying i don’t like it,” you admit, softer now, “but that’s not why i was playing it.”
another pause settles between you, quieter this time.
he exhales through his nose, gaze dropping slightly as if he’s recalculating everything in his head.
“. . . you repeated it,” he says again, almost under his breath.
you tilt your head. “it’s a chorus, rin”
that still doesn’t fix anything for him.
it doesn’t end there, because once rin locks onto something, he doesn’t really let it go cleanly.
another gift appears a few days later, then another after that. never excessive, just consistent enough to still feel like it fits the same line of thinking he hasn’t corrected yet.
and every time, your reaction becomes familiar.
confusion first. then amusement. then that slow realisation that he is still very much operating under the same misunderstanding.
one afternoon, you finally look at him properly, leaning against the counter with the latest thing he’s left you.
“i’m starting to think you don’t know what songs are.”
he pauses.
just like that.
his eyes flick briefly to you.
“. . . what.”
you gesture vaguely at everything.
“this. all of this. you’re treating it like it has hidden meanings.”
he goes quiet for a moment, then:
“you’re still playing it.”
“because i like it.”
“and you keep repeating the same part.”
you stare at him for a second longer, then your expression shifts ─ less confusion now, more disbelief, something that almost softens into fondness.
“. . . oh my god.”
that finally makes him pause properly.
you laugh under your breath, shaking your head slightly.
“you thought i was hinting at you.”
silence.
he doesn’t deny it.
doesn’t confirm it either.
just looks at you like he’s still trying to make both versions of reality match.
you smile a little more gently now.
“rin. no.”
“then why.”
“because it’s catchy,” you say simply. “it’s just a song.”
that lands differently.
not loudly, but enough that something in him loosens slightly, like he’s letting go of a conclusion he didn’t realise he was holding so tightly.
“. . . you should’ve said that.”
you raise a brow. “i did. multiple times.”
“not clearly.”
that pulls a quiet laugh out of you, softer this time, more fond than anything else.
“you’re ridiculous.”
he doesn’t respond, but he isn’t tense anymore either.
just listening.
you sit beside him without thinking about it, nudging his arm lightly.
“for the record,” you add, still smiling, “if i want something, i’ll tell you.”
his gaze flicks to you briefly.
“. . . you don’t always.”
you pause.
then exhale through your nose.
“okay, fair.”
the song keeps playing low in the background, no longer something either of you are really focused on ─ just something filling the space between words.
you lean back slightly, letting the quiet settle properly this time.
“but not like this.”
a beat passes.
rin looks away first.
“. . . noted.”
you grin.
“so what now.”
he doesn’t answer immediately, glancing once more at what he bought before looking back at you like the conclusion is still there ─ just less absolute than before.
“. . . you still like it.”
it isn’t a question.
you hum softly.
“yeah. it’s a good song.”
there’s a pause after that, not empty ─ just settled, like it doesn’t need anything added to it.
then, flatly, he adds:
“don’t repeat anything else.”
you laugh under your breath, leaning your head against his shoulder like it’s nothing new at all.
“no promises.”
he exhales softly, but he doesn’t move away.
and this time, when the song loops again in the background, he doesn’t overthink it.
he just listens.
a/n (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ based on this lovely request. such a cute idea hehe!!
© blessingsinwinter 𓏲ּ𝄢 .ᐟ please don't copy, modify, translate or take any of my work.
GurL helo. hi. omg. still. tryna function from your last work. it's soooo good????????? like omggg. and. im sooo sorry. and. imma be selfish😔.
can i please request... a rin x reader... but like... this man is lowkey socially inept, and reader gets obsessed with the song chanel by tyla, and keeps playing it, and rin thinks it's meant for HIM, so he keeps on buying reader chanel, and keeps getting confused...
pleaseeee. thank you for your writinggg.
take care of urselffff
and and, i look forward to your new layout! your current one reminds me of kaya from one piece
i am EXTREMELY sorry for how long this took me to post.
this isn't even funny anymore bc i looked at the date of ur request and it was wayyy over a month ago. wtf am i doing??
pls don't hate me ('''' •᷄ ᴗ •᷅ )
i loved this request tho. it's so cute and fitting for rin!! i could never come up with beautiful idea this no matter how hard i try.
thank u for the love and support. sending u a big fat virtual hug.
posted here. click click click!!
𝗕 𝐄 𝘠 𝗢 𝗡 𝐃 𝓣 𝐇 𝐄 𝗡 𝑶 𝐈 𝐒 𝐄
␥ syn :: this request
୭౿ cws :: fluff (?), fem! reader | ft. sae
𓏲ּ𝄢 a/n .ᐟ i've been writing for sae A LOT lately. i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not but we ball (•̀˵ ω •́˵)
𝗜𝓣𝗢𝗦𝗛𝗜 𝗦𝓐𝗘 ─
it’s not something sae notices all at once.
it builds gradually, in passing moments he doesn’t think much of at first ─ your name showing up more often than usual, clips of interviews and headlines that carry your face further than his ever needs to go.
your world is louder, more visible, and far more open to opinion, and he’s always understood that.
but what changes isn’t your presence.
it’s his, next to yours.
sae starts seeing his name where it doesn’t belong, threaded into conversations that have nothing to do with him, reduced to something people can measure, compare, and pick apart like it’s their right.
he doesn’t go looking for it.
but sometimes it finds him anyway.
× ノ ⬞ ׄ 𓈒 ᕱᕱ ྀི.
it happens when he’s scrolling without thinking, the way people do when they’re not really paying attention. a clip of you mid-interview catches his eye, your expression relaxed, answering something just out of frame. he might’ve kept going, but the comments load too quickly beneath it, filling the screen before he can look away.
she’s way out of his league
what does she even see in him
he’s just there because of her
he's using her for clout
his thumb stills.
his expression doesn’t change, but his gaze lingers longer than it should, not because any of it holds weight, but because of how easily people say things like that when they don’t have to look you in the eye.
it’s not unfamiliar.
just unnecessary.
he exhales quietly and locks his phone, setting it aside as if it never mattered.
and for the most part, it doesn’t.
× ノ ⬞ ׄ 𓈒 ᕱᕱ ྀི.
until you bring it up yourself.
“people are being weird again,” you say, dropping onto the couch beside him, your phone landing screen-down like you don’t even want to look at it anymore.
sae glances over briefly, then back at the screen in front of him.
“they’re always weird.”
“no, like worse than usual,” you mutter, dragging a hand over your face. “it’s actually annoying.”
there’s a slight shift in his posture then, subtle but intentional, his attention moving from the background noise of the room to you.
“.. about what.”
you hesitate for a second before unlocking your phone again, the hesitation alone telling him more than the screen will. still, you hand it over, brows slightly drawn.
“just look.”
he takes it without comment, eyes scanning quickly.
he’s already seen some of it.
but not like this.
not knowing you have too.
the comments repeat themselves in different tones, some careless, some pointed, all of them saying the same thing in slightly different ways. he doesn’t need long before he hands the phone back, his expression unchanged.
“.. and?”
you stare at him. “and what do you mean and?”
“why do you care.”
it’s not dismissive. if anything, it’s too straightforward, like he genuinely doesn’t understand why this is the part that stayed with you.
“because it’s about you,” you say, the frustration slipping in despite yourself. “they’re acting like you’re just there. like you don’t matter, or like you’re only with me for attention or something.”
you stop, jaw tightening slightly before you finish more quietly, “it’s just.. stupid.”
sae watches you for a moment, taking in the way your shoulders sit a little higher than usual, the way your grip tightens around your phone.
“it is stupid,” he agrees.
you blink, thrown off by how easily he says it. “that’s it?”
“what else do you want me to say.”
there’s no edge to it, but it still leaves you unsatisfied, the tension in your chest not quite settling.
“i don’t know,” you admit, exhaling. “something that sounds like it bothers you at least a little.”
he tilts his head slightly, considering that more than the comments themselves.
“it’s obviously not true,” he says after a moment. “so there’s nothing to be bothered about.”
you let out a quiet, disbelieving breath, looking away. “that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel bad to read.”
there’s a brief pause, and when you glance back at him, his focus has shifted more fully onto you now.
“.. you’re upset,” he says, not as an observation, but as a conclusion.
“yeah,” you admit, softer this time. “i just don’t like people talking about you like that because of me.”
that lands differently.
it’s quieter, but heavier, and he recognizes it for what it is almost immediately.
this isn’t about pride.
it’s about you caring in a way you don’t know how to ignore.
he exhales slowly, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly.
“they’d say something regardless,” he replies, tone even. “this just gives them a different angle.”
“that doesn’t make it better.”
“it’s not supposed to.”
you fall quiet at that, your frustration softening into something more uncertain, like you’re not sure what to do with it anymore.
“.. doesn’t it bother you at all?” you ask after a moment.
this time, he doesn’t answer immediately.
not because he doesn’t have one, but because he’s choosing how to say it.
“.. it’s irritating,” he admits finally. “not because of what they’re saying, but because you’re sitting here thinking about it.”
your gaze flickers back to his, caught off guard by the shift.
“if it was just about me, i wouldn’t care,” he continues, voice steady. “but you’re letting it get to you, and that’s a waste of time.”
you huff softly, but there’s less resistance in it now.
“.. you make it sound so simple.”
“it is simple.”
“no, it’s not,” you argue, quieter now. “you don’t see it the way i do.”
sae studies you for a second, then reaches over and takes your phone from your hand without asking, turning the screen off before setting it down out of reach.
“you’re right,” he says. “i don’t.”
you frown slightly. “then ─”
“but i see you,” he cuts in, not harshly, just enough to stop you.
that’s what makes you pause.
“and right now, you’re upset over people who don’t know anything about either of us,” he continues, more deliberate now. “that’s the part i care about.”
the words settle slowly, the tension in your chest loosening in a way the argument couldn’t.
you look down at your hands, voice quieter when you speak again.
“.. i just don’t like the idea of people thinking you’re less than you are.”
there’s no hesitation in it this time, just something honest and unguarded.
sae leans forward slightly, resting his elbows against his knees, his gaze steady when you look back up.
“do you think that’s true?” he asks.
“no.”
“then it doesn’t matter.”
it’s simple, but not dismissive, and that difference is what makes it land.
“you know why i’m with you,” he adds, voice lower now. “and i know why i’m with you. that’s enough.”
you hold his gaze for a second longer, the last of your frustration easing into something softer.
“.. i still wish people would shut up.”
“they won’t.”
“i know.”
“so stop reading it.”
you let out a small breath, something close to a laugh. “you’re impossible.”
“and you’re still here.”
“.. unfortunately.”
there’s a faint shift in his expression at that, something subtle but warmer than before, even if it doesn’t fully show.
the silence that follows isn’t heavy anymore.
your shoulders relax, your thoughts no longer looping the same way they were before, and when your hand drifts a little closer to his on the couch, he doesn’t move away.
instead, his fingers tap once lightly against yours, brief and almost absent-minded, but deliberate enough that you notice.
and somehow, that’s enough to quiet the rest of it.
requests/asks are open! also feel free to chat or message me.
© blessingsinwinter ᥫ᭡ please don't copy, modify, translate or take any of my work. > reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated ♡
Hello I love everything of yours that I’ve read so far (only discovered you a few days ago)! I really like the one with Sae comforting his s/o from his fan! Do you mind making one where the roles are switched and reader is someone who is more famous than him and how sae (or really anyone) would react to comments about him (good or bad)? If you already did this then I’m sorry I probably don’t see it😓 Have a good day!!!
hi lovely, this request is so cute!!
i literally had this done in my drafts like two weeks ago and i forgot about it. ughhh i’m sososo sorry 😞
posted here. click click click!!
i’m posting all april requests this week since it’s literally may now and it’s stacking.
݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ sae comes home to you and a shopping bag apocalypse | requested
the first thing itoshi sae noticed when he got home was the silence.
which, normally, wouldn’t mean much.
sae liked quiet. preferred it, actually. after weeks of travelling, interviews, cameras shoved in his face and teammates constantly talking, silence usually felt like relief.
except your silence always felt wrong.
because usually, the second the front door clicked open, you appeared.
always.
sometimes before he’d even taken his shoes off.
you’d come running down the hallway in socks, nearly slipping before launching directly into him like distance physically bothered you. sae would barely have time to brace himself before your arms wrapped around his waist and your face buried into his chest.
“you’re home,” you’d mumble every single time, like you were still surprised.
then came the questions. how was the flight? did you eat? were your teammates annoying? did you miss me?
he always answered with varying levels of patience while you clung to him like a koala.
truthfully, he’d grown used to it embarrassingly quickly.
missed it too.
there had been nights overseas where he’d unlocked his phone after training just to stare at videos of you rambling about your day because your voice made hotel rooms feel less empty.
so when he stepped inside your shared apartment after a month abroad and got nothing, his brows furrowed immediately.
too quiet.
the kitchen lights were on, your shoes were tossed carelessly near the entrance instead of lined up properly like sae always nagged you to do and your bag sat on the counter beside an unfinished iced coffee.
you were definitely home.
you just weren’t there.
“. . . hello?” he called, slipping off his shoes more slowly than usual.
there was no answer.
then, from somewhere deeper in the apartment, a crash broke the silence.
followed by your voice, distant and alarmed.
“oh my god ─”
another thud.
then nothing.
he exhaled quietly and made his way toward the noise.
he found you in the spare room.
or more accurately ─ under a landslide of shopping bags.
he stopped in the doorway.
there were boxes everywhere. bags spilling across the floor. clothes draped over furniture. tissue paper scattered like it had given up.
it looked like a store had exploded.
and in the middle of it all, you.
“. . . hi?” you said weakly.
as if on cue, one of the boxes beside you tipped over and more things spilled out onto the carpet.
sae blinked once, slowly.
“what is all this?”
you straightened immediately. “okay, before you say anything ─”
“i haven’t said anything yet.”
“but your face is saying a lot.”
you scrambled to shove a nearby shopping bag behind you with your foot, which only caused another two to slide sideways and collapse dramatically beside you.
sae looked around the room again. there were at least five different brands he recognised immediately.
one shopping bag was literally sticking out from under the bed.
“. . . were you hiding this?” he asked finally.
“no,” you answered too quickly.
he stared.
you wilted a little under the look.
“okay, maybe a little.”
“why are there this many bags?”
you opened your mouth.
closed it.
then tried again. “there was a sale.”
sae glanced around at the sheer amount surrounding you.
“on what? the entire shopping centre?”
you looked genuinely offended. “that’s dramatic.”
he raised a brow slowly.
behind you, another package toppled over by itself.
“. . . is it?”
the worst part was that you clearly had tried to organise things at some point. some bags were shoved into corners, others hidden under furniture, as if you had started with a plan and slowly lost it along the way.
sae sighed quietly, rubbing a hand over his face.
“how much did you spend?”
your expression changed immediately.
“it wasn’t that bad.”
“how much.”
“define bad.”
“your answer is worrying me.”
you suddenly became very interested in adjusting the handle of one of the shopping bags beside you.
which told sae basically everything he needed to know.
he crossed his arms. “you’re doing that thing.”
your head snapped up defensively. “what thing?”
“the thing where you start acting guilty before admitting something ridiculous.”
“i do not ─”
“last time you acted like this, you spent three hundred euros on skincare because the packaging was pretty.”
“it was pretty.”
“you don’t even use half of it.”
“that is so hurtful.”
despite your offended tone, sae could still see the nervousness underneath it. the slight tension in your shoulders. the way you kept avoiding eye contact every few seconds like you genuinely expected him to be upset.
and honestly, that made whatever irritation he might’ve felt disappear embarrassingly quickly.
because he knew you.
you were responsible with everyone except yourself.
you remembered birthdays months in advance and always bought thoughtful presents. you sent money home to your parents without hesitation. if one of your friends casually mentioned wanting something once, somehow you’d remember weeks later.
but when it came to your own spending habits, all common sense vanished instantly.
you got excited too easily.
pretty packaging. limited editions. clothes you swore you’d wear constantly before forgetting they existed three days later.
and despite living together for over a year now, you still seemed worried that sae would think badly of you for it.
“it’s my money,” you mumbled eventually, quieter now. “i didn’t touch yours.”
sae's expression softened slightly at that.
he knew.
that was the thing.
you were almost stubbornly independent about finances. even after sae reassured you repeatedly that you didn’t need to stress over splitting every little expense exactly evenly, you still insisted on paying for your own things.
including, apparently, enough shopping to fill an entire room.
“i know you didn’t,” he said.
you picked anxiously at one of the paper bag handles beside you. “i just didn’t want you thinking i’m materialistic or high maintenance or something.”
sae stared at you for a long moment before slowly looking around the room again.
the answer was, objectively, obvious.
there were enough shopping bags here to survive a small economic collapse.
“. . . you are high maintenance,” he said finally.
your face dropped immediately. “sae!”
“you own forty-seven lip products.”
“they’re different shades!”
“they all look pink.”
you looked genuinely scandalised now. “because you’re a man with no visual intelligence.”
he almost smiled at that despite himself.
almost.
you, meanwhile, had fully started spiralling.
“okay, maybe i got a little carried away, but i was stressed, and then there was free shipping if i spent over a certain amount, which is honestly psychologically manipulative, and ─”
while rambling, you tried standing up too quickly, clearly intending to defend yourself more dramatically. unfortunately, your foot caught almost immediately in one of the shopping bag handles tangled around your ankle.
sae watched the entire thing unfold in slow motion
your eyes widened in horror.
“wait ─”
everything shifted at once.
a stack collapsed. boxes tipped. bags slid forward like they had been waiting for it.
and suddenly, you disappeared under it all again.
there was a long pause.
sae stared at the pile.
then, quietly, “you’re unbelievable.”
from underneath, your voice came muffled. “don’t laugh.”
his shoulders shook once despite himself.
which was enough for you to gasp dramatically in betrayal.
“you’re laughing!”
“i’m not.”
“sae,” you said from beneath several bags, sounding genuinely offended now, “i can literally hear you.”
he exhaled slowly through his nose, still crouching down beside the mess. “why do you own this much stuff?”
“help me first and judge me second.”
sae finally started reaching over and lift bags off you one by one. there was so much packaging everywhere that he briefly wondered how you’d even managed to carry all this home in the first place.
only your head and one hand were visible now.
your glare was immediate.
sae looked at you for a second before reaching down and lifting a box off your stomach.
then another.
and another.
“this is excessive,” he muttered while pulling more bags aside.
“i was having a hard month.”
“so your solution was consumerism.”
“don’t say it like that.”
he huffed quietly through his nose, but there wasn’t any real annoyance behind it now. mostly resignation. fond resignation.
eventually, after moving enough bags aside, you managed to sit upright again.
your hair was messy now. there was tissue paper stuck to your sleeve.
you looked ridiculous.
and cute, unfortunately.
“you’re judging me,” you accused immediately.
“a little.”
you groaned dramatically before leaning forward and hiding your face against his shoulder out of pure embarrassment.
instinctively, sae steadied you with one hand against your waist before the two of you toppled sideways into another stack.
“i really was going to clean this before you got back,” you mumbled into his shirt.
“clearly.”
“i lost track of time.”
“for several hours?”
“maybe.”
sae sighed again, but this time there was hardly any irritation behind it.
mostly because you were nuzzling against him now in the exact clingy way you always did whenever you wanted comfort.
“you hid one of the bags under the bed," he started slowly.
“that was temporary!”
“there’s also one sticking out of the wardrobe.”
you went quiet for a second before muttering, “i ran out of space.”
sae looked down at you, still half-curled against him, and felt the last traces of irritation disappear completely.
because this was just you.
this wasn't the first you attached emotional significance to pretty things or stress-shopped like your life depended on it and then panicked afterwards about seeming irresponsible.
yet despite that many times it happened, you still fear that sae would think less of you for things he honestly found more endearing than annoying.
“you know,” you said quietly after a moment, “i didn’t want you coming home and immediately thinking i’m awful with money.”
sae raised a brow slightly. “you are awful with money.”
you groaned loudly against his shoulder. “why are you like this?”
“because i’m right.”
“this is why rin says you bully people emotionally.”
“rin says a lot of things.”
you laughed weakly at that, though your arms wrapped around his waist a little tighter afterwards.
the apartment finally felt normal again.
warm.
lived in.
sae rested his chin lightly against the top of your head while looking around the room one last time.
“. . . we’re reorganising this tomorrow.”
you sighed dramatically. “you’re ruining my creative process.”
“your creative process almost killed you.”
“that’s actually really unfair considering the bags attacked me first.”
he let out another quiet huff of amusement, fingers absentmindedly smoothing through your hair now that you’d settled properly against him.
for someone who claimed to like silence, sae realised he much preferred this.
your voice filling the apartment. your weight against him. your endless rambling about things he pretended not to care about while secretly listening to every word.
“you didn’t even say hello to me properly,” you complained softly after a while.
“i was distracted by the shopping apocalypse.”
“still rude.”
you tilted your head up slightly then, finally looking at him properly since he’d come home.
your expression softened almost immediately.
“i missed you,” you admitted quietly.
and just like that, every ounce of exhaustion sae had carried home from overseas eased all at once.
his hand slid to the back of your head naturally, fingers smoothing gently through your hair.
“yeah,” he murmured, pulling you a little closer against him. “i noticed.”
a/n (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ holy crap this was long AGAIN for no reason. whoops! i'm sorry
© blessingsinwinter 𓏲ּ𝄢 .ᐟ please don't copy, modify, translate or take any of my work.
Hello, hoping you’re doing well 💓
I would like to request a Sae x reader, but she’s more of an outgoing and loving type of person. The kind to immediately run to him when he’s home and launch into his grasp, nuzzling against him and asking about his day.
This time around though, the house is quiet when he comes back from a month abroad. Too quiet. Suspiciously so.
She seems like the responsible type, but is terrible with her own money management. She won’t spend Sae’s—but when she spends her own? It’s honestly ridiculous. And she always attempts to hide it from Sae out of fear of him thinking she’s too high maintenance.
She’s in one of the rooms, attempting to hide an absolute mountain of shopping bags, boxes, etc… And proceeds to be buried in her absurd amount of purchases.
THIS IS SO CUTE OMG.
thank you so much for the descriptive request! i got carried away and may have wrote a lot but it all contributed to the story (i hope).
much love (˶>⩊<˶)
posted here. click click click!!
this is the anon who requested the sae x childhood friend, to idol reader!
thank you so so much, the writing is so well done 💓 i have great respect for writers such as yourself who take requests and turn them into actual stories.
have a wonderful day 💋💋
oh my gosh this is so sweet 🥹
this means much more to me than you think.
i'm so glad you liked it! i made it quite long so i hope it wasn't overbearing.
if you have any future requests, send them through bc i love your creativity and how descriptive your requests are (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ
ᕱᕱ ྀི :: before the fame there was sae ˖ ࣪ 𑣲 | requested
when you first moved next door to the itoshi family, sae honestly didn’t think much of you.
his mum did, though.
your mother had shown up at the door with homemade pastries and nervous japanese, apologising in advance if you were “too loud” because apparently you loved music more than silence.
she wasn’t exaggerating.
the first proper memory sae had of you was through his living room window: a little girl in socks spinning across the pavement outside while some pop song played from a tiny speaker beside her.
you weren’t even embarrassed when you noticed him watching.
you just waved.
sae remembers staring for a second before slowly waving back.
rin, significantly less polite at eight years old, yelled, “you nearly fell over!”
“but i didn’t,” you yelled back confidently.
from then on, you somehow became part of their house.
sometimes your mum dropped you off before school because she had work early. sometimes the itoshi brothers stayed at yours after training because your mother made snacks and didn’t mind the noise. eventually nobody really questioned it anymore.
there were spare toothbrushes at both houses.
extra clothes.
your favourite yoghurt drinks sitting in sae's fridge because his mum started buying them automatically.
you were always around.
and always moving.
sae had never met somebody who danced the way you did ─ not professionally at first, just naturally. aimlessly. if music existed, your body followed it without thinking.
you danced while waiting for the microwave. danced while brushing your teeth. danced through supermarket aisles while your mum begged you to stop embarrassing her.
sometimes sae would come downstairs late at night for water and find you in the living room, illuminated only by the television screen while choreography videos played softly.
again.
and again.
and again.
he noticed early on that you hated getting things wrong.
you’d replay the same eight-count until your breathing grew uneven. until frustration pinched your brows together. until your knees ached against hardwood floors.
“you’ve done that part like twenty times,” sae said once quietly from the doorway.
you startled so hard you nearly slipped.
“god, sae, you creep around like a ghost.”
he ignored that. “you’re tired.”
“i almost got it.”
“almost.”
you glared at him. “you’re annoying.”
“and you’re stubborn.”
you looked away for a moment before muttering, “i want to be good enough.”
sae understood that immediately.
because he knew what it felt like to want something so badly it became stitched into your ribs.
football consumed him in the same way dancing consumed you.
it was probably why the two of you understood each other so easily, even when nobody else did.
well.
except where football itself was concerned.
you did not care about football.
not really.
sae and rin would be completely absorbed in a match while you sprawled upside down across the sofa, scrolling through idol fancams on your phone.
occasionally you’d glance up at the screen.
“that one’s cute.”
sae didn’t look away from the television. “you don’t even know his name.”
“don’t need to.”
“you don’t know what team he plays for either.”
you shrugged lazily. “he’s still hot regardless.”
rin laughed so hard juice came out his nose.
another time, sae tried explaining tactics to you for nearly fifteen minutes before realising you’d stopped listening halfway through.
you were staring at a player instead.
“his eyelashes are actually insane,” you murmured thoughtfully.
sae just blinked at you.
“are you hearing anything i’m saying?”
“mhm.”
“what formation are they using?”
“pretty boy formation.”
rin nearly fell off the couch.
you only truly cared during the world cup, and even then it was mostly because famous singers performed at opening ceremonies.
you once admitted, very seriously, that penalty shootouts stressed you out because “everyone looks too handsome while suffering.”
sae thought you were ridiculous.
but he liked hearing you talk anyway.
more than he should’ve, probably.
because somewhere along the years, liking you became frighteningly easy.
it happened quietly.
through shared walks home. through sleepy mornings before school. through the familiarity of having you curled up in his bedroom chair while he studied, humming songs beneath your breath.
sae started noticing little things without meaning to.
the way your face brightened whenever somebody asked about dancing seriously instead of dismissing it as a hobby. the way other neighbourhood boys suddenly became awkward around you once you got older. the way people stared.
you were beautiful.
that part became obvious to everyone eventually.
there were always classmates with crushes on you. older ladies calling you doll-like. random scouts approaching your mother in shopping centres.
rin complained once that people acted weird whenever you were around.
“they’re all obsessed with her,” he grumbled.
you looked offended. “maybe i’m just charming.”
“you made the cashier forget to give mum her change.”
“exactly.”
sae stayed quiet beside you because, unfortunately, he understood those people completely.
by sixteen, your schedules became harsher.
dance classes after school. vocal training on weekends. auditions in tokyo.
sae saw you less, but somehow missing you only made him more aware of how important you’d become.
he’d hear music through your open bedroom window late at night and glance outside automatically.
sometimes he saw your silhouette moving behind curtains long after midnight.
other times, he’d find you asleep at his kitchen table with unfinished homework beneath your cheek.
“you should go home,” he muttered once, nudging your shoulder lightly.
you cracked one eye open. “too tired.”
“your mum’s going to worry.”
“she knows i’m here.”
you sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes. there were dark circles beneath them now. exhaustion pulling at your expression in ways sae hated seeing.
“audition didn’t go well?” he asked.
you laughed weakly. “they said i’m good, but not polished enough.”
he frowned immediately because he’d seen you practice until your feet blistered.
“they’re stupid.”
your smile softened a little at that.
“you’re supposed to say encouraging things, not threaten talent agencies.”
“i wasn’t threatening them.”
“your face says otherwise.”
he rolled his eyes, but he stayed beside you while you complained quietly about evaluations and diets and impossible expectations.
you listened to him too.
about football. about pressure. about spain.
especially spain.
because once sae received the offer overseas, things started changing too quickly.
everybody congratulated him.
everybody talked about how amazing it was.
but late one evening, while the two of you sat on swings at the empty park near your houses, you asked softly,
“are you scared?”
sae looked over.
you were staring at your trainers against the gravel.
“everyone keeps acting like i should just be happy for you,” you murmured. “but leaving everything behind sounds terrifying.”
for a moment, sae didn’t answer.
then quietly:
“a little.”
you smiled at him after that ─ small and understanding ─ and somehow that conversation stayed with him longer than all the congratulations combined.
the night before he left for spain, your families had dinner together.
rin was miserable. your mother cried halfway through dessert. you teased sae for pretending not to care while obviously caring very much.
but later, after everyone else went inside, he found you sitting on the garden steps alone.
summer air wrapped warm around both of you.
“my mum says you’re going to forget us when you become famous,” you said lightly.
“won’t happen.”
“even when spanish girls fall in love with you?”
“don’t care about that.”
you turned your head then, looking at him properly.
sae suddenly became aware of how close your shoulders were touching.
how pretty you looked beneath porch lights.
how badly he wanted to stay.
“you better visit,” you muttered.
“you better debut before i come back.”
you laughed softly. “deal.”
and somehow, despite distance and schedules and time zones, neither of you disappeared from the other’s life.
there were missed calls.
photos.
rin spamming group chats constantly.
videos of your dance practices sent at 2am with messages like: be honest, does this look awkward?
sae always replied eventually.
no.
sometimes he watched the clips more times than necessary.
then one day, you debuted.
sae was in spain when rin sent him the performance link with approximately twelve exclamation marks.
he watched it alone in his apartment after training.
and for a while, he forgot to breathe.
because there you were.
confident. polished. magnetic.
the same girl who used to dance in oversized pyjamas inside his living room was suddenly onstage beneath blinding lights, performing like you belonged there all along.
you looked happy.
that was the part sae noticed first.
happy in a way he hadn’t seen during those exhausting trainee years.
after that, you became impossible to avoid.
your songs played in shops. your face appeared in advertisements. teammates recognised you immediately whenever he opened social media.
“you know her?” they asked one day after catching him watching an interview clip.
sae paused before answering.
“yeah. we grew up together.”
they whistled teasingly after that, but sae ignored them.
because the truth was worse.
he still felt strangely possessive every time interviewers flirted with you.
still noticed comments people made about your body.
still remembered you as the girl who fell asleep at his kitchen table and stole food from his fridge without asking.
distance hadn’t changed nearly as much as it should have.
and when the world cup finally brought both of you into the same country again years later, sae realised seeing you in person was somehow even worse.
because cameras genuinely did not capture you properly.
he spotted you backstage before rehearsals started.
you were laughing with staff members, dressed in performance clothes that glittered beneath stadium lights.
then you looked up.
your entire face lit up immediately.
“sae?”
you crossed the room so quickly he barely had time to react before you threw your arms around him.
sae caught you automatically.
familiar.
warm.
dangerous.
when you pulled back, you looked at him carefully for a second like you were trying to memorise the changes.
“you got taller,” you said.
“you say that every time.”
“because somehow you keep doing it.”
there was still teasing in your voice. still softness.
and sae realised, with quiet devastation, that no amount of time had actually made him stop loving you.
a/n (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ lets not mind how long this is heh... i got carried away but i hope it’s still enjoyable
© blessingsinwinter 𓏲ּ𝄢 .ᐟ please don't copy, modify, translate or take any of my work.