Certified dumbass

i’ll suck your femur

[blindsherpa]

Okay so i’ve seen this done and why not right

10 notes and i’ll clean my room every night before bed

20 notes and i’ll start making my bed every morning aswell

30 notes and i’ll actually start working on my writing (i always think about starting but never do)

50 notes and i’ll drink at least three bottles of water a day

100 notes i’ll go back to my diet (pls pls pls do this i need motivation)

500 notes i’ll contact my recruiter again (trying to do this before summer)

1000 notes ill start painting my room (i’ll so post this on here if i do it)

5000 notes and i’ll start writing a letter to my grandparents

10000 notes i’ll call my grandparent and read the letter to them

I really need motivation to start doing stuff again i’ll update this if it does happen lol

UPDATE!!!

i’ve drank three bottles of water, cleaned my room, made my bed this morning as soon as i was up, and started writing the first few paragraphs

UPDATE!!

I’ve been exercising every morning, and i’ve started eating a whole lot healthier too, thank you !!!!!!!!

[blindsherpa]

Found a video of the worst time of my life, I see it every year, and every year I keep it because I thought I was happy back then, I’m stuck in a loop of absolute hatred

[anywigwilldo]

Reblog, click the picture, and prepare for battle.

[vikingserket]

after a while i became convinced that the words were mocking me

[whisperrun-blog]

Nothing happened. 

I WAS PROMISED A BATTLE

*throws down gauntlet*

Edit: Went back. This is the best thing to happen to my dashboard ever.

[whisperrun-blog]

Reblogging again because my followers need to see this. To be clear, rebog, go to your actual blog, then click the picture. 

[penandpage]

[blindsherpa]

Always wondered why I’ve had such bad luck

Due to a recent conversation with my father I’ve found out that my incubator shitted on me as I came out

Since then my life has been a series of very shitty and unfortunate events

Gotta give it to her she’s been a shit parent since the very beginning

[cheddar-baby]

Wheres my toy or i'll get mad now

[cheddar-baby]

Bark for me dog

[homunculus-argument]

The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

[pangur-and-grim]

a single dry cough

[sabertoothwalrus]

Visit Original Link

[homunculus-argument]

Honestly, if you're a kid and an adult tells you "they're just trying to get a reaction out of you :)" as a response to being told that some younger kid is tormenting you, that should count as full permission to punt that little shit. Like I would never hit a child, but if you're seven years old and a five-year-old is being a cunt at you and adults just tell you "oh they just want to find out what happens if they keep doing that", wouldn't only be fair to let them know what happens if they keep doing that?

Siblings should never be left responsible of raising each other, but if adults have decided that they are allowed to fuck around, wouldn't it only be your right - or even downright duty - to let them consequently find out?

[and-fishing-equipment]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[fucxingcuties]

Albino CAPY!!!

[realneverever]

.

[themurphyzone]

Love how there are so many instances of Heinz always offering food to Perry.

-a slice of his birthday cake in Raging Bully

-the aged cheese that Perry rudely ate when Heinz walked into another room in Lights Camera Candace

-the plate in Flopz Star where Perry made him add lots of pepper

-the hot wings and dip in Lake Nose Monster

-lemonade in Moon Farm

-mid battle tea break in Doofapus

-Just Desserts battle

-his first line in the revival involves asking Perry if he wanted a veggie plate

-was gonna pay for his and Perry's lunch in Quietest Day Ever

-Perry once broke into Heinz's fridge and his comment was 'man, you were hungry that day'.

-that one time Heinz asked 'don't they feed you at the agency?' to a random platypus he thought was Perry. He might legit think OWCA was starving Perry the whole time (and in all honestly, it's a fair assumption).

And in non-Perry examples:

-Gave Vanessa a homemade pie to share with friends for a movie night in Night of the Living Pharmacists.

-The ATSD movie where he offers Phineas and Ferb food from his buffet setup even after they accidentally destroyed his inator.

[not-a-pharmacist]

Hey. I may be evil, but everyone needs to eat something. Even Perry the Platypus @p3rryth3p14typu5.

[blindsherpa]

For a sec I thought this was about the ketchup company

[pukicho]

How the fuck am I supposed to meet a fellow lesbian and then convince her to date me

Don't know anything about lesbians, but maybe if you walked around carrying a baseball bat that'd be really bad ass.

[blindsherpa]

Brb gonna put this to the test

[miiilowo]

I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage

[forsciencejohn]

the year is 2025

scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want

the spice girls are getting impatient

war is upon us

[garcavisconde]

posts that are funnier if u have the dates from posts enabled

[blindsherpa]

Conversation I had with someone I no longer talk to

Person: I’m sorry, my parents just wouldn’t be okay with us being together

Me: I thought you said they were very accepting of your sexuality???

Person: Oh absolutely, they said they would love me no matter the gender of my partner

Me: That’s pretty sweet of them, I don’t understand what the issue is then?

Person: Well you’re not white

Me: what?

Person: My parents wouldn’t want me to date a non-white person

Me: So your parents are okay with your faggetry but they draw the line at my skin color?????

Person: Yes

Me: Okay *blocked*

I am still confused on how open and close minded these people were

[charlataninred]

Yeah you could say I’m doing numbers on tumblr. And that numbers? One

[blindsherpa]

Hello, I found a caterpillar on the ground near my front door, and I know they eat certain plants depending on the caterpillar they are, and the plant is usually nearby,

There’s no plants near my front door, honestly have no idea how it got there to be honest

I don’t know what to feed it, and I don’t wanna just leave it where it was (I have cats that like to much on everything)

Also not entirely sure if it is a caterpillar and I could be very wrong and just holding a damn worm

I need help :(

[blindsherpa]

UPDATE

it died