nth sickness
“You got UTI again anak”
“Why don’t you drink water?”
“You need water. It’s a water therapy”
“You are lazy healing yourself”
“You can’t go abroad to work if you are always like this”
And so forth. It is not like I am lazy to take a water…just that I’m tired living my life. I have this thinking that if I continue getting sick, my life would be short or early dead. So after hearing what the doctor says…all the waiting, blood take, and urine take – I am in this state wherein I couldn’t hear anyone. Like it was a moment of silence that I really need to speak out to someone…” Do I really have depression?” “Would the doctor understand if I mention depression to her?” “Would she tell it to my mom if I spill my unbearable feelings?” I was on the verge of asking the doctor about it when our time was up, but I couldn’t bring myself up. Why? Because I’m scared. Not because of opening it up but rather I’m scared of trusting her and giving me medicines or something that I know to myself medicines won’t help me. So I didn’t ask and return texting my best friend and a guy who also went depression on his early age. On the way home that night after my check up, they kept on saying these things and scolding me, but one thing was on my mind…” Did you ever ask why I am doing it and have you ever ask what is wrong with me?” No right?