The Captain

multifandom || randomest shit ever

[grynwood]

Your honor, I love them, they're so horrible

[catchymemes]

[writingdose]

happy international julius caesar whump day to all those who celebrate 🗡️

[just-shower-thoughts]

I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

[advanced-procrastination]

Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed

[victusinveritas]

[magicratfingers]

Werewolf boyfriend

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[gerrydelano]

just beheld an innocent cashier oops

so i'm at petsmart paying the invoice for my cat's nail trim, and the cashier is staring at me as he taps in the phone number. it brings up my mom's name and i kind of wanted to assure him my name wasn't carolyn so i went "haha, that's my mother. motheeeer." in what was apparently a distinctive and recognizable voice because he went, "you know, that's so weird, because i was just thinking i'm gonna watch all the toy story movies tonight. how did you know that?"

i don't even know that reference because i haven't seen all the toy story movies and it's been years anyway, so i definitely didn't know that but i'm just here like, "haha oh, yeah, i'm a little psychic, sorry." just a laugh y'know little things can be brushed off.

but he goes, "what color am i thinking of?"

in my head i'm immediately like purple but i tend to second guess myself so i went "uhh, hm. green." and he went "nope, close," and despite it not being anywhere close to green i just went, "oh, so it WAS purple."

and he FREEZES. and he's like. "...it was green first but i changed it to purple."

so i'm like "...i thought purple first and changed it to green. nice."

so that was apparently him trying to dodge my psychic beam and me trying to spare him but we intersected anyway. my jimmies are thoroughly rustled by this point.

but then he's like, "alright, what number am i thinking of between 1-10."

i don't hesitate this time before i look him in the eyes and say, "3. or 4, i guess." because again i always just give an additional option just in case usually to deter suspicion which. didn't work because he got so quiet and shrank a little like "...it was 3. i don't think i like this game anymore."

i can't stop laughing this was so fucking weird. just triple read a random dude's mind at petsmart wyd

[visit-ba-sing-se]

can't believe that pompeii by bastille is over ten years old now. but I guess if you close your eyes it does almost feels like nothing changed at all

[cerleansky]

The legacies people leave behind in you.

My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.

I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.

I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.

I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.

I learned to love books because my father loved them first.

How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.

[speaklavenderthoughts-deactivat]

absolutely obsessed with these tags

[thunderon]

none house with left grief

[kampbellot]

Woe to the aching of my heart, that it beats on without hers.

[thunderon]

okay yeah that would’ve been a better caption

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

dislike it when people say 'bless you' when I sneeze. stop acknowledging my bodily functions

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I went to a meet-and-greet with Neil Gaiman and I told him that my favorite work of his was The Graveyard Book and he spit in my face.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[aardvarkingmad]

“At Neil Gaiman...at Neil Gaiman...at Neil Gaiman...Neil, if you’re here, if you can hear us... give us a sign....”

Candles flicker and lightning booms outside

[one-time-i-dreamt]

*screaming* THE PHRASE IS IN THE URL

[one-time-i-dreamt]

*weeping* no

[cratis]

The "I didn't read the url" now comes to bite the blogger for a change

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I have never even droamed about this, not even once, not in my wildest dreams

[godguy0001]

[bakwaaas]

[chatonnoir-deactivated20251011]

There's this local family owned restaurant near me that makes the best fucking chicken tenders I've had in my life and I desperately need to know the recipe in case I move away but its a secret family recipe and I'm this 👌🏽 close to asking if they have a single adult son so I can marry in to the family just for these fucking chicken tenders. Anyway there's a possible fake marriage fanfic plot for you

[chatonnoir-deactivated20251011]

[mangocarta]

so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

[thetalkingcrocus]

i was curious (and kinda hoped that kevin was like, the manager of the whole foods) so i googled it and: 

[liberissima]

RUTABAGA. THE POLL ONE IS RUTABAGA NOT KEVIN.

[peelingmandarins]

“After thirty years of intensive research, we can now answer many of the questions posed earlier. The recycle rate of a human being is around sixteen hours. After sixteen hours of being awake, the brain begins to fail. Humans need more than seven hours of sleep each night to maintain cognitive performance. After ten days of just seven hours of sleep, the brain is as dysfunctional as it would be after going without sleep for twenty-four hours. Three full nights of recovery sleep (i.e., more nights than a weekend) are insufficient to restore performance back to normal levels after a week of short sleeping. Finally, the human mind cannot accurately sense how sleep-deprived it is when sleep-deprived.”

— Matthew Walker PhD, Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams (via themedicalstate)

[patricide1885]

Jesus christ

[hockeyheart]

Sleep is a super power

[lady-griffin]

That last bit makes a whole lot of sense and it honestly astounds me, that I never once considered it.

But yeah that seems very obvious.

Finally, the human mind cannot accurately sense how sleep-deprived it is when sleep-deprived.

[ivycrowned]

This explains why i am literally unconscious for the entire weekend. When the lockdown first happened I slept a full three days.