¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Insta-kirstysmiith

[bob-belcher]

[blowjcb-deactivated20221016]

sext: shit sorry i fell asleep

[pettycentral]

[notliterallyunbelievable-deacti]

People falling for Clickhole is even funnier than people falling for the Onion becuase Clickhole doesn’t even ATTEMPT to sound convincing like the Onion does.

[ai-yo]

Clickhole liked the tweet

[dimetrodone]

The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times

[rubyfruitnb]

of course the first ever sin was a woman eating

[gluten-free-pussy]

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

[animution11]

[moved-to-naltorians-blog]

kfkfdjd

[thesuperheroesnetwork]

captain america: so do any avengers have any pressing business

blade: are any of you motherfuckers gonna help me fight the vampires. please. there are so many.

captain america: no

[afeelgoodblog]

blessed rescue

[smitethestate]

Me as that Uber driver:

[kosmonin]

[memesandlaughs]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[stonecrop]

I’m both pro herbal medicine and pro vaccination because you can treat burns with aloe vera juice and sore throats with lavender infused honey but you can’t rid a country of polio with plants. 

[made-of-love-and-stars]

THIS.

[tr4shpandaa]

Don’t forget kids, jewelweed is a natural counteragent to poison ivy rashes but it won’t do shit against whooping cough

[dovewithscales]

Mint for nausea, valerian and chamomile for sleep, antibiotics for fucking infections.

[thorinobsessed]

I’m in love with this post

[silentreadinghour]

doctor: i’m sorry to tell you but your condition is chronic

me: you sellin chronic? 👀

doctor: please sir, you are really sick

me: haha thanks dude

[steadfast-deactivated20191017]

When people find out that my dog is afraid of men: Oh, the poor thing must have been traumatized when she was younger! Poor baby, I just want to hold and comfort her and let her know she’s safe.

When people find out that I, an adult human woman, am afraid of men: Um, not *all* men, sweetie. You can’t go your whole life being afraid. Get over it.

When my dog was allowed to get a hysterectomy: She doesn’t need to have puppies to have a happy, healthy like with her adoptive family.

When I, an adult human woman, want to get a hysterectomy: But having children will make you happy! You might change your mind!

[thytressesburn]

People misgendering a dog: Oh my god I’m sorry it wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know :/

People misgendering a trans person: Uuuuh idc get over it

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

a lot of you seem kinda dumb so i assume you’re a younger sibiling