My AmazeBall Journey

My life as it was, is and will be! I’m a grandma whose son still lives with me and my girlfriend . Oh did I mention his fiancé and kids live with me too. We don’t always make the best decisions or do things the normal way but in the end… we’ll just stay tuned

[blueeyedizaster]

Hi to anyone out there lol. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on here. Life happened . You know how that goes! So let’s play catch up, my son in law has fully recovered from his stroke and accident 💪 He’s a champ!! My son got married, I went to Disney and finally had a mini vaca 🤘 Now that I’m back to life, back to reality 🎶 I’m now back to facing more challenges of peri-MENopause 🤦🏻‍♀️ Oh the shit joys of that!!! Let’s see, I legit experience every human emotion out there in less than 6 minutes that I’m starting to feel bi-polar! I might catch a felony if I don’t keep my attitude in check 👮 The hot/cold flashes having me feel like I’m a busted up mercury thermometer 🌡 and my muscles and joints feel like I’ve played the role of the tin man and seriously forgot to oil my parts! I’m literally a broken down FORD with over 200k miles. I started taking collagen powder . It’s been 4 days and for the most part I feel pretty energetic so there is a plus! I’ll keep ya posted on the lovely Marotta-menopause Saga……..

[blueeyedizaster]

Sometimes you just have to be goofy, make yourself laugh, do anything but get lost in the sadness around you. So much has happened around this house the last few days no one would believe it.. it’s like Jerry fu$&! Springer around here. My DIL has bipolar disorder, my daughter has anger issues, and the two collided in a high school argument .. in the meanwhile still trying to care for my son in law after his accident. I’ve spent many years in therapy, anger management was one of them… I learned to be “wooosa” in a lot of bad situations now, so picture everyone yelling and screaming like banshees and I’m over here yelling things like breathe and namaste! Like what the Efff, has everyone lost their damn mind up in my house… this I’m sure will pass in time but in the meanwhile I’m just going to stay in my zone … my lane…. Peace out of the house if I need to, but good lord everyone, get a grip! 

[blueeyedizaster]

8 days home : My son in law (as I had mentioned in another blog) had a stroke while riding his motorcycle. This caused him to crash and sustain a brain bleed with Traumatic Brain Injury. When you have no insurance, the trauma centers get you stabilized and push you out the door. Because of COVID they seem to not be utilizing their in house rehabilitation centers! On day one coming home, it was scary! He wasn’t stable on his feet, he fell twice, and we legit had to be next to him every step he took. He couldn’t remember much except who we were. His thought process was all over the place and didn’t make sense. He wasn’t in reality! His motor functions on the right side were extremely weak, his speech was slow. He needed Assistance with shower and using the restroom as well as assisting in eating. 8 days later, surrounded by family and keeping him involved with every day routine and around his children, he is walking with a walker up and down the road, walking around the house without a walker, eating, remembering things, playing games with his kids, speech is starting to be more clear, his thoughts are more realistic and in real time! Everyday is another milestone of progress! I know that progress is usually fast the first 3 months and can slow down, but it’s the point of how much progress he made. We got health insurance in place, doctor appointments set up and the road to recovery is on its way! Family is everything and the best medicine anyone can receive❤️💪 I feel confident that in time he will make a full recovery… stayed tuned for Drews Journey

[blueeyedizaster]

Just felt like not going back to the house! I need a break from all the craziness and sometimes I need to just worry about me and so the things I need to do! This is what self care looks like.. you just have to tell others no and let them figure it out for themselves! I make it too easy for my family to do what they want while I make many sacrifices. Not today satan, not today 💪🤘

[blueeyedizaster]

It’s been a damn minute! Uggh this blog was supposed to be something I did consistently everyday but as usual, life happens and for me to get a lousy five minutes in this house for myself is a joke

[blueeyedizaster]

STOP TOUCHING THAT!!!!!!!!

My 27 year old son, woke up sick Monday. So off to the walk in clinic he goes. Now although none of us believe it the C19 crud, he still gets tested so he can still get paid hazard pay. ( He has enough respect to not get anyone else sick, no matter what he has). Unfortunately, the test results wont be back for 3-5 days, if not more because everyone is getting tested because they are sick. In the meanwhile the reality is that he is still sick with something and the rest of us in the house do not wish to be sick. What does he do, he does not seclude himself to the room, but rather hangs out around the house, touching things like a damn toddler! As mom, I’m chasing him with a bottle of Lysol, spraying him and everything he touches! SMH! Well today, i woke up not feeling good! UGGGGH! I can feel it is totally a sinus infection as i get them quite frequently through out the year like clock work. It makes sense because since turning 40 eleven years ago, and being in Florida, I have developed bad allergies and our weather has been bi-polar for weeks now!

[blueeyedizaster]

They say Winter, which causes a forced hibernation can be somewhat depressing for people. There is this book I started reading, by Llewellyn’s Books. Each day, it has a spell, or activity, mediation, etc.. Today I thought the meditation was great! Now I live in Florida so its easy for me to accept winter and still get out ( although I hate not having the change of the seasons. I am from Jersey!) But I do know what its like to get snowed in and get that Cabin fever antsy feeling. Sometimes in order to over come something you must first welcome it in. Accept it. Embrace it and find something positive you can gain from it. On todays assignment, it asks for you to make a cup of hot chocolate, also grab some pieces of chocolate, wrap up in a fuzzy robe or blanket, and fuzzy socks. Then grab a blue candle and set it in a small bowl of ice. Light the candle and mediate for a moment on the quiet benefits of winter’s cold depths. Now of course this is a short version and you should really enjoy the pleasures of owning this book. It has really helped me with my anxiety and helps guide me into looking at things in a better perspective.

[blueeyedizaster]

Been a few days since i have been on here. I might simply be talking to dead air, who knows LOL. Again I’m new on this app and new to blogging. I don’t even have many followers yet but i am workin on it. So where have I been? Remember in my intro blog I said we are pretty much in so many words not “crazy family” well that comes along with things never being dull around here. Saturday evening my son in law crashed his motorcycle while out riding with my son. They were going so slow so we are not understanding the injuries. He is on a ventilator and today there are trying to slowly wake him up. They first said he had a stroke, then retracted that statement and are now looking into his heart. Either way we’re looking into a long bumpy next week or two. In the meanwhile, I, being the stay and work at home grandmother am still upholding my end of the bargain by taking care of my little darlings. Ya know being a snack bishhhh, laundry, cooking, yelling, caring, kissing boo boos all while wishing I could get more than 4 hours of sleep that I have been averaging the past few nights. My body hates me! Menopause hates me! Oh wait, here comes all human emotions at once! Should I cry? Laugh? Be angry? Oh wait, I have to remain calm and be Mary Poppins because well lets face it, someone has to be sane for the kids! Me..sane??? They picked the wrong person for that job, but I hold out pretty good. I am thinking though I should have been an actress with all this pretending I do…I should be making millions…..but I am over here selling the make up that is put on the Actress’s face…hmmmmm

[blueeyedizaster]

Started this day off with a 10 mile bike ride! My legs feel detached from my hips! 🤣🤣🤣 But I got this 💩.. cheers to new attainable goals!!! Day one down and 364 more to go with lots of cheat days! 💪

[blueeyedizaster]

Happy New Year! First cup of coffee for the the new Year… it’s a grain coffee because drinking regular coffee makes my heart race 🤷🏻‍♀️at my age we try to do things the healthy way… it taste really good and definitely makes you very regular 🤣🤣 I guess that’s one way to loose weight 🤘 what adventure awaits for the day… oh who knows stay tuned! I just woke up …

[blueeyedizaster]

Wow, 2021 almost gone! What a 💩 shit year for many! Today I took a cleansing shower and mentally washed away all the negative thoughts and all the negative chemistry inside that has been trapped! With each exhale I blow out all the negative and inhale all the positive. What will this new year being? Resolution of new year new me? Hell no! I like who I am , it’s not a new me it’s a new year, new journey, new beginnings, and new doors of opportunity. I am setting attainable goals not resolutions. Resolutions is just a bunch of BS talk for everyone. Tell me I’m wrong? Have you ever fully fulfilled a “ resolution “? If you have I envy you but most I know and know of haven’t. It’s just another social thing to do to blend in with the population. Maybe that’s why I sought out on my own adventures and work from home, do my own thing, and have better results. It’s all about what are you willing to be committed to and know that if you make a mistake it’s okay. You want to lose weight but you want to be on that diet 24/7, 7 days a week for 52 weeks when realistically you know you’re going to cheat! So, rather than putting that guilt on yourself why not go on that diet and allow yourself four cheat days per month. Now that’s more realistic isn’t it? Your goals no matter what you want to do should be set in the same manner. Allow yourself room for a little tiny bit of failure so you’re not hard on yourself and quit that goal seeking all together….. HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE….. 

[blueeyedizaster]

Oh Christmas tree! I spend the early mart of November being so excited that Christmas is coming! I’m a child trapped in this adult body! Now it’s like okay when can I take all the decorations down now that it’s over! Although I’m a believer in bad luck since I’m the one who either has the bad luck or none at all so I keep the tree up until New Years Day. 😏Anyhoo, When i was a kid, life was so simple. Fun. Not complicated in the least, although as that child I thought the world was coming to an end. Christmas was a huge thing and my parents went all out! The decorations, the food, the gathering of family and friends. We would eat ourselves to death and play a card game called 99. Oh the memories , how I wish I could go back! It all started to change when my step dad ( who was my dad because that man raised me as his own and we were inseparable) left my mom after 16 years of marriage. My mom who was already becoming bitter became more like stone. Sense of humor out the door, always walking around so serious, unhappy, snobby, and always that resting bitch face! A couple of years later she again married. I said to my mom, “This go around don’t expect me to call this one dad”! He’s a really nice guy but sucked out all what fun my mom had left inside of her. Then my grandmother died and boy she was the main glue! Nothing has been the same! I have tried so hard to keep tradition from my childhood. The games, the food, the togethernesses and being to my grandchildren the fun I had when I was a kid. Ya know , simple down right out family fun! It doesn’t work! My mom and her hubby just sit around and ignore the fact I’ve asked a thousand times if we should play a game and NOTHING but crickets. No other adult in this family wants to play games, laugh, or play that gambling game 99! Sh$t , they could win a dollar from each player but nope! Getting high, taking naps, being a humbug while their faces are stuck in their phones, tablets and switches are more important. Ugggh im just all in my feels tonight but maybe in about 6 minutes I’ll have that contact high with mixed menopausal emotions and start laughing for no reason while my face is stuck in my phone 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 im going to whip this family into shape if it’s the last thing I do!

[blueeyedizaster]

I’m still wondering why I have no privacy in the bedroom? Oh ya that’s right , toddlers have taken over my room! Party in Mema’s room 🤦🏻‍♀️

[blueeyedizaster]

Story time: let me intro myself as I’m a new blogger! I’m Jenn and I’m one hot mess! Been married twice , have 2 children with the same guy ( that doesn’t happen very often LOL) but then after my second divorce , decided to try out being a lesbian ( more on that later)! I have 5 grandchildren all together but two of the 5 live with me because my son and his fiancé still live at home.. with me.. I have Tourette’s and undiagnosed OCD and I’m pretty sure I’m bipolar but the doctors seem to think I just have what’s called an attitude problem. I run a small at home biz to help others feel good about themselves. Im menopausal so I’m happy, sad, depressed, excited, and angry all at once and you’ll get to see that ( so there might be a lot of posts in one day) 🤦🏻‍♀️ My son has a medical Card and I swear I get contact highs all the time ( it’s probably about the only time I laugh for no reason). As a family unit we don’t always make the best choices and maybe some of the things we do are unethical but at least it’s legal 🤘 stay tuned as I’m about to go outside of my comfort zone to share this thing I call life with you!