Blu the Jell

occasional 18+ content--- more bio in progress! It/She/He/Cel/Glo/Fiz

[bluthejell]

GET READY FUCKERS THERE'S ANOTHER QUEER ON THE ROAD

(still fucking hates driving)

[leshermes]

June 1st is TOMORROW. It means that GAY PEOPLE will exist, but only for ONE MONTH. Do not forget to buy your tickets to see them NOW, or else you will have to wait AN ENTIRE YEAR to be able to meet them AGAIN.

[bluthejell]

ah shi my bad HAPPY SKITTLE MONTH EVERYONE‼️‼️‼️

now where are MY. PEOPLE.

XENOGENDER USERS STAND THE FUCK UP.

[arikakari]

its pride month, tumblr. you know what that means

[bluthejell]

Little Blu waking up from the most average dream the brain can physically create, i’m just chillin with my friends, some magical bs might be going on but we just bullshitting and laughing having a grand ol time

And then it wakes up. and starts crying. Because holy shit god damn it. it’s just me.

[bluthejell]

i’m lesbian straight up but I’d lowkey p£9 a femboy what does that say about me

[bluthejell]

yknow I made it as a hahafunny tag but no the brain DOES do fucked up shit when it’s hurt

whether it be sh, an ed, dissociation, substance abuse, isolation STRAIGHT UP D E A T H— NONE of that shit is helpful but yet ye ol head bean thinks it’s the best course of action💀

Like okay I get my brain is TRYING to protect me but I DON’T FEEL PROTECTED I FEEL GIPPED 😭😭

[bluthejell]

Why do i feel like i belong nowhere.

I know there are people like me out there. but I feel like i’ll never really them…

Do i have to be odd one out all the time :(

[bluthejell]

inside out but with someone who struggles with sh

Joy: “oh dear… this is really bad. how are we gonna cope with this?!”

Self Hatred/trauma response: “hear me out I have an idea.”

[bluthejell]

….never thought i’d be approaching the point of getting off my antidepressants.

[bluthejell]

Professing my love for my friend but I get a lil too real and gotta act like I'm nonchalant and bored

[vexheart]

Yes

[bluthejell]

and I can't escape

[shushututu]

People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness

"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally

[bluthejell]

SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS ISOLATION TRAUMA IS REAL AND IT FUCKING SUCKS

It can happen to ANYONE at ANY AGE. no matter what IT FUCKS YOU. and you can’t go BACK INTO SOCIETY WITHOUT MAJOR. FUCKING. EFFORT. and. it. HURTS.

*bows* goodnight

[bluthejell]

current flex is that I can sing Bake No Hana and 75% of Lagtrain and IDSmile from memory 😤😤😤

[bluthejell]

Feel like a spy among people like yall have no idea how much pain I feel most of the day

but I know

Yall don’t know that I’m an imposter of a human that doesn’t belong here but you think I do

[borrowed-thoughts]

@korinawray on instagram

[bluthejell]

I JUST WANT TO BE SOMEONE WHO'S ME IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

I wanna be ME I wanna be MYSELF I want to look in the mirror and say THAT IS FUCKING ME I AM A PERSON WHO IS ME AND ME ALONE

BUT I CAN'T FUCKING BE ANYONE. CAN I. THAT TIME'S COME AND GONE HASN'T IT. FUCK YOU.