The Human Blob Fish

Just a blog full of crap. Scroll, Read, Like, Reblog.

[thebootydiaries]

Me: @god why don't I have a boyfriend

God: I sent you one but u ain't like his eyebrows

[oatbee]

do dogs know that they’re cute?

[gnarly]

me @ myself: you’re annoying tbh

[racingbarakarts]

me: i literally couldnt care less about what people think about me

also me: 

[voidbat]

body: you are dying of The Heat

me: [removes blanket]

body: never have you been So Frozen

[ladyjolder]

me: [sticks one leg out]

body: perfect

[bongboops]

Demon to my now exposed leg:

[scornfluke-archive]

*hitting depression with a stick* i have to pass this class

[bob-the-blob]

Teacher: *calls my name*

Me: "yeah what up"

Teacher: "not your grade"

[bob-the-blob]

employer: so what would you say is your biggest weakness?

me: probably just like who I am as a person

[ofallthehappy-deactivated202004]

View this post on Instagram

[barbie-cock]

this is a very very good video

[dumdolly]

omfg this video made me the happiest i have been in a while

[writing-prompt-s]

Instead of heaven or hell, when you die, you find yourself in the room of a six year-old girl who invites you to join her tea party. It soon dawns on you, you’re her imaginary friend!

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

This gave me so many fic ideas.

[captain-palestine]

She must have a messed up imagination to make me

[bob-the-blob]

friend: i'll pick you up at 5

clock: 5:01

me: wHeRE teh fuKc

[bob-the-blob]

waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks

waitress: sir please stop cyring

[bob-the-blob]

me: hello darkness my old friend

darkness: do i know u

[bob-the-blob]

me: hello darkness my old friend

darkness: do i know u

[bob-the-blob]

youtuber: WHAT is up everybody, itcha boy back again

me: youre no boy of mine

[trust-me-im-satan]

when people start getting close to your friends

[artdusktea]

when your friends are talking about stuff you don’t understand but you still want to be part of the conversation