Hey so I have made a YouTube channel where I'm going to upload me playing piano I would appreciate if this got shared, the link to my channel is below :)
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rules: shuffle your On Repeat playlist and list the first five songs in a poll, then have your followers choose their favorite.
I'm just going with my liked songs because I don't particularly have a playlist i put on repeat
Pickie pick
Mayabonobiharini horini - Kishore Kumar
Suit and Tie - Justin Timberlake
Tu Hi Junoon - Pritam
Step Back - GOT the beat
So am I - NCT 127,and Ava Max
Voting ended onOct 23, 2024
Damn that's varied, for some reason every other song that was showing up was a Kpop one, even though it's been months since i've last listened to some of them(asshole, whenever i shuffle my playlist none of these play but now that I'm doing this Spotify has decided to pull songs from the very depth of my listening history)
and you dont even know it - from 'everybodys talking about jamie'
Voting ended onOct 18, 2024
ill tag @bobiscool95 @justafanbutcurious @thecrazyalchemist @whydousernamesevenexist @galaxys-universe @abiethewizardduck and anyone else who wants to join <3
i finally reached one year without cutting myself, and i didnt get the chance to tell people because life just got in the way, which made me sad because i want people to be proud of me. but i realised that when i say 'oh i managed to go a year without cutting myself', people tend to assume that i stopped self harming. and that isnt really how it works. you cant go from self harming every other day, to just nothing. so i wanted to make a list of the things i realised about self harm and recovery, as a celebration for myself about what i achieved and to let anyone who is struggling know that it isnt just them. if noone reads this then thats fine, at least its out in the world just in case.
things people dont tell you about self harm:
i think alot of people assume that if you want to badly enough, you can just stop self harming. and you do have to want to to be able to stop, you can't quit if your heart isnt in it. but its also so difficult to go completely cold-turkey, and stop all at once. and if/when you relapse, its going to feel awful. what you have to remember is, as long as you want to stop then you can stop. but...
IT IS NOT LINEAR! i tried 3 or 4 times to stop before my final try, i once managed 3 months before i relapsed. and it made me feel like a failure, of course it did. because i had spent months, maybe years, self harming without the energy to stop. and when i finally started to want to, it was so so hard. you might manage days or weeks or months without ever touching a blade, and suddenly itll all get too much and youll be back on square one. and thats ok. you have to keep going, because you left square one before you can do it again
you can stop cutting, and still self harm. i wont pretend that i havent self harmed in the last year - i have. . because sometimes that urge to hurt yourself does get too much, sometimes you feel like you cant help it. but i havent cut myself, i havent used a blade, i havent left a scar. part of recovery is realising that as long as its better or its an improvement, then it is recovering. to scratch instead of cut, to hit instead of scratch, until suddenly you arent breaking your skin anymore. thats part of healing
when is a relapse not a relapse? in the last year, i would say ive self harmed maybe 4 or 5 times (which is incredible considering how i was before). i called it a relapse at first, until i decided i didnt like that. because it isnt a relapse really, it was one off reactions to things happening, not because it was part of my habit. so i called them blips, a small mistake which did not take away my overall progress. see it as a blip thatll happen once, not a relapse.
having a rewards system can really help. i dont mean like going and buying yourself a present every time you dont self harm (although that is good too sometimes, you deserve it). i used marbles in a jar. every day i didnt self harm, i got to put a marble in my jar. but if i did self harm, i had to take them all out and start again. and trust me, you get attached to those marbles pretty damn fast. something like that can be really helpful as an incentive to stop (although i cant claim credit for this idea, it came from a video on instagram, which was found for me by my incredible boyfriend)
relapsing or having a blip does not make you a failure. it shows your strength, it shows your resilliance, and it shows that you are still here. stay here, and keep going, one blip does not take away your progress
noone tells you how much self harming hurts. i know that sounds silly, but when its your habit or you do it regularly, you can become desensitised to the pain, and you can forget. to have a blip, and self harm after a period of being sober - oh my god it hurts, and its often easy to forget that pain. dont forget it. knowing how much it hurts can help to steer you away from it.
please tell someone. i know its scary, but dont suffer alone. that being said, dont put everything on one person, especially if you're young. we're kids, we cant deal with everything. ive dealt with my own self harm, and ive helped to deal with other peoples too. its too much for one person to bare, dont suffer alone but dont make someone else suffer with you. let them support you, and let them help you find someone else who can properly help you
IT IS OK TO WANT ATTENTION! it is ok to want people to notice, and give you sympathy and try and help you. it is ok to want those things!!! try not to let it harm others, you dont want someone to take on too much of your problems, but wanting attention is completely ok and completely normal. you are allowed to want help and sympthy
with that last point in mind, heres your reminder that self harm IS a way of coping. it is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism, but it is your way of coping. healing is not just about stopping self harm, it is about finding better ways to deal with your emotions and cope with stress and thingd around you. dont just focus on stopping, try to focus on how you can evolve it into something that helps you
and lastly, everyone finds those helplines and chatwebsites awkward. please use them, they can be so helpful. but. i did not use a helpline, or an online chat. i did get a therapist, towards the end, but for over a year i was on my own. you can stop on your own, it is possible. but you could end up putting to much pressure on yourself or someone else. there is so much help and support waiting for you at the click of a button, dont hesitiate to reach out. if you want to stop, or know you need to, they're there to help you. theres no shame in it. use the help avaliable to you
here are some UK based helplines, although the word document is from another post on tumblr (ive forgotten who the post is by, so if anyone knows please tell me. THE WORD DOCUMENT IS NOT MY OWN WORK, I CANNOT TAKE CREDIT FOR IT)
Alternatives to Self Harm.docx
Crisis Text Line is a nonprofit organization that provides free, 24/7, confidential self-harm support in English and Spanish.
Feeling anxious, stressed, or need support? Shout is free, confidential and available 24/7. Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a conversation with
Want to feel better without cutting or hurting yourself? Learn about self-harming and how you can overcome it.
and last. im really proud of you. you're doing so well, no matter if you self harmed years ago, or you still are right now. you have so many things to keep going for, and i know you can get better. you've got this, i believe in you. stay safe.
Hey everyone that sees this I just want to say how proud I am of @carrotsinnovember ik she's all I ever talk about on here but she deserves the recognition like omg when I first met her she was so shy and had hardly any confidence and now about 2 years later she has so much more confidence and she has just grown as a human and my god she's grown into such a beautiful person I am so so so proud of how far she has come and I just wanted to let everyone else know how proud I am of her. @carrotsinnovember I love you <3
bonus: @binvibin im doing this for you as well because i feel like it, but im not officially tagging you because you dont often do tag games like this :) (feel free to thoughhh) 🧠 💿 🪻 🍬 🕹️ ♟️ 🍁 🐚
@el-loves-writing @lunyxdragon @cherri-dash @thecatundertheladder @wilko222 and @hawkflame-999 @night-invader :3 (there's more but y'all were already were already tagged.)
Shout out to my lovely mutuals @leesbian42 @garmadons-e-kitten @master-jarrus @coolprofessorbagelwinner @lunanimal001 @dexylloyd @i-m-art-ix @spreadwardiard @hissinghydrangeas