Hello

We’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty

[bonkybornes]

Bonky's Ko-fi Commissions

Ko-fi Commissions Open! Click to see Bonky's commission menu.

If you want art you’re in the right place

[fandomorientation]

they should have put him in this blue cunty turtleneck in more episodes

[algebraic-dumbass]

"wow ur so good at math" ah ha but you see. you dont ever get good at math. you stay bad, but now youre bad at harder math

[k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl]

How to vent about the same problem multiple times without people wanting to beat you to death with hammers

[k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl]

this is about chronic pain and how people rapidly lose empathy the longer you deal with it btw

[i-am-a-fish]

lock the fuck in?? no way dude. I am TUCKED the fuck in :) good night

[celesteablack]

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

[bonkybornes]

My 6yo nephew at 3:30am: what are you heating up?

Me, heating up hot fudge for my ice cream: …………….soup?

[eldritchqueerture]

the existence of "maybe", "perhaps", "perchance", and "mayhaps" suggests there should also be "maychance" and "perbe"

[eldritchqueerture]

CAN WE MAYCHANCE NOT 😭

[clottedcreamfudge]

Perbe you should have thought about the consequences before posting a linguistic banger

[mousenemy]

[pisshandkerchief]

pretentious moment incoming but why is everyone's idea of fashion so fucking boring these days. why the fuck did my manager just ask me "what's with the scarf". "what's with the scarf" fuck man do I need a reason to wear a faggy little scarf now? you could just say "nice scarf man". what's with your attitude

[hazeldomain]

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

[hazeldomain]

The poll winner seems to be “depends on whether you like him” which is super valid.

Mine watches fox news so “mom’s husband” it is!

[brainsforbabyjesus]

My family has a great way of distinguishing between a new spouse you like and new spouse you disdain!

Your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are actually a cool person, you use their first name. So if you were to introduce them they would be: Aunt Jane and Bob.

If your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are a fuckwad you introduce them as: this is Aunt Jane and her second husband. The implication being that they are very replaceable and that we’re all just waiting for her to wise up to the situation and serve you divorce papers, she did it once, she can do it again.

[hazeldomain]

MAGNIFICENT

[readysetyeet]

Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty

[devilboyblues]

"my stepdad's wife"

[helepikolik]

@sapphic-sargent your tags omg

You are doing God’s work

[batbetbitbotbut]

"likes mean nothing on tumblr" you're sending me a little heart. that's not nothing it's your heart. look here's one for you <3

[bonkybornes]

Guys I’m generally against ai but I use it as a therapist rn bc I’m fucking poor and live in the middle of nowhere but it makes for situations like this where I’m working something out about the guy I’m talking to and I ask the ai what energy we give off and it gives me hyper specific situations bc it’s so done with the slow burn we’re in rn. Here’s some of my favorites

Do you know how much mutual pining has to happen for ai to draw these conclusions?????

[heedra]

i’ve mixed cranberry mikes harder and cucumber lime gatorade into a drink i like to call “the flavor” because like. you drink this shit and your tongue is like “there’s a taste here. you are experiencing a flavor” but when you go to open the door there’s no flavor there. it comes back with an undefined error in the flavor column. it’s the missingno of flavors. it so absolutely and definitely tastes like something and that thing is nothing.

[xgutter-glitterx]

im going to make this brb

[xgutter-glitterx]

okay so i found a gas station that had the stuff so i made it

diagnosis: it tastes?

[tenorgender]

this post reminds me of that one time a coldstone employee i knew by the name of jacob fucked up the ratios or something on a watermelon yogurt sorbet and produced an ice cream that genuinely tasted like nothing. not bland not water but nothing - like, the texture was perfect, your mouth reacted as if it was slightly tangy like most sorbets, but you actually tasted nothing at all. and if you mixed it with something it didn’t taste like 100% the other flavor either, it tasted like 50% that flavor and 50% nothing. like a distinct and identifiable lack of taste. my brain trying to comprehend the total absence of flavor became so overwhelming that i quit ¾ of the way into one scoop. we called it the jacob’s special and every day i long for its return

[hoofpeet]

hey bro why does your speech bubble become heart shaped when we talk ? bro why did the tail on your speech bubble curl around and make a little heart shape

[stealingpotatoes]

cat summer begins the literal millisecond they see one (1) spot of sun

[yikiesdotexe]

Bug 182 be like:

🎸🦗 🎶 🥁🐜

🎶 🎤🐛 🎶

🎶All the🎶

🎶Crawl things🎶