Siren Sounds | JJK
pairing: jungkook x (fem) reader
genre: fluff, angst, smut, the one that got away trope, young love au
rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !
w/c: 8.8k
warnings: ANGST, unrequited love (right person wrong time), explicit sexual content : smut, kissing, (semi) public sex , alcohol, heartbreak, themes of emotional dependency and fear of abandonment.
moodboard
a/n: surprise surprise! I don’t claim myself as a writer but I’m truly proud of this one so I hope you guys enjoy it <3 This fic was inspired by the song “Siren Sounds” by Tate McRae which is literally my favourite song in the whole wide world and “Means I care” by Tate too, my top song on Spotify. Was telling my lovely @matchastwb about how I wished someone could write something based on how these songs make you feel and ended up writing it myself hehe. I poured all of my emotions in here so yeah, grab your tissues, play the songs and allow yourselves to feel ;)
New Years Eve.
You’re at a party your best friend Annie dragged you to. You’re not exactly against parties but let’s just say celebrating New Years around a bunch on sweaty strangers kissing their partners at midnight did not sound like the most appealing thing ever. But Annie’s here, she’s been wanting to celebrate New Years here for months— and what wouldn’t you do to see your best friend happy?
You’re both walking towards the building where the party is held when she asks,
“Why are you so tense?”, you turn to face her and reply,
“Me?”
“Yes, you. Y/N you’ve been quiet since I’ve picked you up, what’s up?”
The observation stings. What is up with you? If only you knew.
You’ve been feeling off for the past week, the reason? You have no idea. It’s like something shifted in the air, something just felt different and you couldn’t quite put a finger on it. You didn’t think Annie would notice but she’s your best friend after all.
You met Annie in college, freshman year, you both shared a dorm, and really bonded during frosh week. After that you became good friends within a few days.
Truth be told you weren’t expecting to get along with someone that quickly. Because, in a few words, you were not the most social person at the time.
Before moving to New York for college, your biggest fear was to not fit in. Annie definitely helped you get out of your shell. She was the extroverted, fun and confident friend that always looked out for you.
You’ve had friends before but none of them were like Annie. You couldn’t hide from her, not when she was right there.
In a way it was flattering to have her see you so clearly and still like you. Friendship in college was different that way. You spend all this time with people, sometimes every day, every meal. There was no hiding who you were in front of your friends.
You’ve known her for about 10 years now and have been through everything together, so yes naturally you’d do absolutely anything for her and she’d do the same for you. So when she realised something was off about you, she was ready to beat up anyone or anything that caused this.
“I promise I’m okay. It’s probably just my dress it's too tight and has been itching me since we left.”, you say pointing at the champagne sequin dress you decided to wear tonight. Safe to say your boobs are definitely suffocating considering how tight the dress is and sequins are definitely not the most comfortable thing to wear.
“Mhmm.. I’m not buying this but we’re here to have fun so I’ll let it slide for now.”, she says squinting her eyes.
“Now c’mon, let’s have some shots so you can loosen up a little babe”, she adds as she grabs your hand and drags you to the bar. You let out a small sigh but still follow her.
You’ve been here for about an hour now. The music is good, people not too stinky, you could almost call this— fun? Annie is definitely the happiest to be here and that alone makes it worth it.
After all those shots and dancing, you get the urge to pee so you whisper in her ear,
“I need to pee, I’ll be right back.”
“Do you want me to come with?”, she replies instantly,
“No, don’t worry. I'll make it quick”
“Okay, okay— be safe okay?” You nod as you walk towards the bathroom.
After washing your hands you head out and try to find Annie but to your not so surprise you find her very close to a tall, dirty blonde haired man.
You chuckle, deciding to stay back for a bit to let her work her magic and turn around to go find the bar. When you accidentally bump into someone’s chest and spill their drink on them.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I didn’t see you there—”, you say while frantically trying to wipe off whatever sort of alcohol that was now clinging onto the poor man’s shirt.
You hear a voice say,
“It’s okay, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, this is totally on me. Don’t worry about it.”
You freeze.
That voice— you’d recognise that voice anywhere. You look up hesitantly and see him. You see his boba eyes looking down at your hands, completely unaware of who you are. Until he looks up at you. The way his eyes widen so quickly almost looks comical.
“Jungkook?”
“Y/N?”
You’re both frozen, words stuck in your throat.
“What.. what are you doing here?”, you ask in a shaky voice.
“I’m… uhm… am celebrating New Years”, he says as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing ever.
“I meant what are you doing in New York, Jungkook?”
“Oh. I’m visiting some friends for a couple of days.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
You’re both frozen in silence again until someone taps Jungkook’s shoulder.
“Hey man, where have you been? We’ve been looking for you for the past 10 minutes.”
It’s been 10min already?
“Sorry Hyung, I mhm.. bumped into an old friend.”, Jungkook replies.
The man’s gaze falls on you.
“Oh? You’re Jungkook’s friend? Nice to meet you! I’m Jimin!”, he says with bright smile spreading across his face.
“Nice to meet you too Jimin.” You say giving him a small smile.
You’re not really processing the situation, what is HE doing here? So you quickly blurt out,
“I should probably get back to my friend too, she must be wondering where I am. It was nice to meet you Jimin and it was nice to see you again Jungkook.”, as you start practically running back to Annie.
All you hear behind you is a low “Bye.. Y/N.”
Let’s just say the rest of the night didn’t go as planned, you couldn’t stop thinking about him, him. He was here, in the same room. Years of memories crawling back to you, years. What were the fucking odds of him being here? Out of all places, out of all of the New Years parties in the world, actually out of all of the parties in New York City alone. The universe really like to play tricks on you huh?
Jungkook was one of the most important people in your life once upon a time, 10 years ago to be precise.
You were 17 when you met him, Jungkook moved to Seoul from Busan at 16 so he was relatively new there compared to you who’s been living there your whole life.
He was the type of guy you knew better than to entertain, some people would describe him as cold others as reserved, one thing was sure he was the kind of person that doesn’t just let people in.
Yet it took you both one group project to be inseparable.
You’ll always remember having to do a Science project about photosynthesis and having to explain to Jungkook and Taehyung, Jungkook’s best friend at the time and your other partner for the project, what photosynthesis was even about. Safe to say the two barely paid attention in class.
You met up after school in front of the building and would take turns on whose house to go to for about three weeks. Hanging out with the two felt easy, the three of you spent 90% of the time cracking jokes and laughing, and maybe about 10% actually getting things done— okay, okay 10% might still be a wishful thinking but that’s besides the point!
It wasn’t very fun when you had 24 hours left until the deadline and had to pull an all nighter at Jungkook’s house. During which Taehyung not understanding what the concept of an “all nighter” stood for, fell asleep around 10pm, sprawled out on the couch like he was used to doing that every other Sunday.
Jungkook and you then spent about 3 hours finishing up the project. After that you both talked for what felt like a few minutes but turned out to be a few hours when you saw the sun rising out of the window of the living room. It was honestly just that easy to talk to him, you both clicked and didn’t really want to let go of each other.
You still recall Taehyung’s widened eyes when he realised he fell asleep and that unlike him and his 10 hours of sleep, the both of you didn’t get a single second of sleep. The guilty man treated you for lunch later that afternoon to apologise.
After that day you thought, you wouldn’t talk to the boys again considering the project was done and they had no reason to talk to you again.
You were pleasantly surprised to see the two boys come and sit at your table for lunch the next day. Just like that it became a routine, the three of you always had lunch together and you spent the rest of the day with Jungkook because you both shared the same classes.
Sometime while spending time with Jungkook, friendship turned into something more but the two of you never really addressed it. You sure looked like two people dating though— movie night every Friday, sleepovers every time you possibly could, going out to eat almost everyday, stolen kisses and cuddles here and there. At the time if you had to explain the feeling of love to someone you’d just tell them about Jungkook, or precisely the way he made you feel.
Not a single day went by without you two seeing each other. Your families got a long so well that your parents started treating him as their own son, same goes with his, they loved you like a daughter, they really did.
You didn’t put any labels on what you were but everybody knew, he belonged to you and you to him. It was all going so well, too well even— until graduation. You both had different plans for the future. You got accepted in your dream school, NYU and you had hoped Jungkook would follow you to New York considering he was planning on leaving Seoul after graduation but he ended up changing his mind, he wanted to stay, who were you to convince him to leave?
Jungkook thought the same, who was he to stop you from chasing your dreams? So he let you go.
Letting each other go didn’t mean you didn’t love each other, quite the opposite. You loved each other enough to let go.
You know what they say : if you love them let them go and if they’re meant for you, they’ll come back.
You both knew long distance wasn’t the way to go. You weren’t planning on coming back anytime soon and Jungkook wanted to stay in Seoul to possibly take over his parents company in the future.
Your goodbyes weren’t dramatic, he dropped you off at the airport, you hugged and kissed goodbye as usual even tough the kiss did linger more than it usually would.
After that summer you never talked again, not because you didn’t want to. You were actually itching to but felt like talking to him would hurt more than not talking at all. Deep down you knew, he could never be what you wanted him to be. So you let it be. You let him exist without you around.
You didn’t hear much from him until one morning, three months later, when he decided to erase you from his life.
You got a text from him saying “Trust me this is for your own good.”
It didn’t take you a long time to realise that he blocked you. Everywhere, every single socials, his username was gone. You tried texting him back but the text did not go through. So you knew he blocked your number right after sending the text.
You weren’t mad, maybe hurt but you understood that maybe no contact was better than still seeing certain bits of each others lives through social media. Although you did overthink it for a while, you laid out pretty much all the possibilities. Though the one that hurt the most was the thought of another girl replacing you.
But even if the thought of him with someone else stung a little, all you wished was for him to be happy so if blocking you everywhere was what it took then so be it. That day you promised to yourself, you wouldn’t try reaching out to him ever again for your own good.
Although every now and then you would think about him again— wonder how he is, what he’s doing. You missed him. Nobody could ever replace him in your eyes. There was only one Jungkook and it was him. You might move on but you’ll never be able to forget about him.
Back at the party, you’re still with Annie dancing the night away and trying to keep your mind off Jungkook as much as you possibly could but still fail miserably at it. So you unconsciously look around the room, thats when you see him again. Suddenly it feels like the room is blurry, all you see is him. All the emotions you’ve ever felt towards him come back rushing like a tidal wave.
He doesn’t notice you staring at first but then he starts looking around, sensing two eyes on him.
Thats when you two lock eyes, the time stops, the people blur, his eyes soften— for a moment it’s just the two of you. You don’t move you just stare, you don’t know how not to.
In that instant you wished things were different 10 years ago. Maybe then, he wouldn’t be across from you but next to you, holding you close— because all you want right now is to feel him again.
Feeling like this is too much, his gaze too hard to hold. Your body reacts before you can, you move, you act on survival instincts. You rush through the body of people until you find what looks like an exit. You don’t look behind, you can’t. You know that if you see him follow, you will break. You finally reach an elevator, press on the ground floor and wait.
When the doors of the elevator open again to reveal the ground floor, you’re quick to spot the back door and choose to exit from there. Once you’re out, you look around and decide to sit on the sidewalk.
Still buzzing from the alcohol, the world looks like it’s spinning around you. You don’t know how to feel, his presence is just too much to handle. You didn’t think you’d see him again tonight, actually— you didn’t think you’d ever see him again for that matter. Your brain is in shambles, it’s all too overwhelming.
You feel tears stinging your eyes and you want to resist them but you know you can’t so you just let them fall, you cry. You really cry.
That’s when you hear it— the sound of a door opening. You already know who it is but you look anyway, your eyes catch his again. He doesn’t say anything, just moves, walks towards you and sits next to you. He knows you’re crying, he knows why, he knows you don’t want him to point it out so he doesn’t.
He takes off his jacket and puts it on top of you after noticing your body shivering from the December cold and then he simply sits there, his presence letting you know that he’s here for you if you want to talk or if you just want to sit here in silence.
So you do, you sit there for a while, his presence comforting yet heartbreaking, you didn’t think seeing him again would affect you this much.
A few minutes later, he speaks up,
“Do you want to get out of here?”
You look up just to find his doe eyes already on you. You don’t know if this is a good idea, you don’t know what he’s thinking, where he wants to go but you still nod. He gets up and says,
“My car is parked right there, I’ll be right back. Don’t move, okay?”, again not trusting your voice, you simply nod. He gives you a small smile and heads towards the car.
A few minutes later, you hear the sound of a car parking in front of you. You look up to see him get out of the car, he walks towards you and stretches out his hand to pull you up. You get up and walk towards the car, he opens the door for you. You get in, he closes the door and jogs back to the other side to get in the driver seat.
He twists the key in the ignition and the engine roars to life. He turns the radio on lowly and then starts driving. Noticing you are still shivering he turns up the heater.
For a few minutes the car is silent other than the background music playing. You’re looking out the window for a while, until you get bored of it so you start looking around the car when your eyes fall on something shiny— a keychain attached to his keys, not any keychain, a little camera, the one you bought for him when you travelled to Australia a month before leaving.
Before you could even process anything you blurt,
“You still have that?”
He looks at you, looks at the keychain you’re pointing at and says,
“Of course I do, you gave it to me.”, you look at him and say,
“But that was 10 years ago”
Eyes now back on the road he says,
“You’re still the one that gave it to me. It reminds me of you.”
And you don’t know if it’s the soft voice he used while saying this or if it’s just the fact that he kept it after all those years, your eyes start stinging again so you don’t say anything and look out the window again trying your best not to make it obvious.
Jungkook knows you better than that, he knows what’s going on in your mind but again knows better than to say anything out loud so he does what feels like the most natural thing to do and puts one of his hands on your knee to let you know that once again you are not alone. He’s here. He’s not going anywhere, at least not tonight.
The touch of his hand on you is enough to relax you. You let out a deep breath, dry your tears and look back at him. You take the time to look at him properly for the first time tonight. You notice his hair has gotten a little longer since the last time you saw him, the tips of his hair curling a little bit, his jawline sharper now, the scar on his cheek a little more faded than in the past but still here. His beautiful lashes, his focused eyes and his plump lips— those lips that you remember better than you’d like to admit.
God— you’d do anything to have them on you again. You’re so entranced by them when all of a sudden they start moving,
“You know that if you keep staring at me like that you might bore a hole through my head”, you look up to see his eyes crinkling and a slight smirk forming on his lips.
Flustered, you look out the window again feeling the heat rising to your cheeks. But you still feel a small smile tugging at your lips. You’re back to looking mindlessly out of the window, when the car comes to a stop.
Jungkook shuts off the engine, opens his door and walks to your side to open it for you. You get out of the car, thanking him.
You look around and finally take in the sight in front of you : a small pebble beach with the New York Skyline in the background.
The sight is breathtaking and you can’t help but smile, you look at Jungkook who’s already looking at you and says,
“Do you wanna go sit there and talk for a bit maybe?”, eyes looking as warm as ever. You smile and reply,
“Yes, I’d really like that Jungkook.” he returns your smile and says,
“I have a blanket in the trunk, let me grab it for you.”, you nod.
He opens the trunk, gets the blanket then takes your hand and you start walking towards the beach.
The walk is silent, you don’t know what to say, where to start and you can tell neither does he. But the silence isn’t awkward, in a way it’s comforting to know you’re both debating what to say in your heads.
A few minutes later, you reach the beach. Jungkook lays out the blanket for the both of you. You sit, he follows and sits besides you before lacing your hands together again.
You stare at the view in silence, thoughts all over the place but his hand steadying you back in the present.
He makes you feel warm like the month of July in the December cold. So you let yourself take in his warmth while enjoying the moment.
It takes a few minutes before Jungkook speaks up,
“How have you been?”, you look at him and reply,
“I’ve been okay, work has been stressful but nothing I can’t handle.”
“I’ll take your word on that” he smiles, you speak again,
“What about you?”
“I’ve been good, ended up getting a job at my father’s company. Everything has been going pretty well.”
“I’m happy to hear that, you deserve it.”
“Mhmmm” he hums,
“But something has been missing— someone.”
“Oh is it? Who’s the lucky lady?”, you ask raising an eyebrow.
He chuckles, actually chuckles and says,
“Cmon you can’t be that oblivious Y/N.”
“You don’t expect me to believe I’m the only person you fell for in the past 10 years, do you?”
“Well you should.”
“There is no way, THE Jeon Jungkook couldn’t move on from his high school sweetheart.”, you laugh.
“Hey— you’re not any high school sweetheart, you know that.” he says teasing, eyes sparkling.
“So what, you want me to believe you’ve never tried moving on?”
“I tried, dates here and there but it never worked out.”
“Why?”
“They weren’t you Y/N.”
Your stomach twists, you haven’t been able to move on either but hearing him say it made it real.
He speaks up again, tone serious now, raw.
“After you left it was hard for me to pretend like I was okay. That summer— I didn’t do much, mostly locked myself in my room and Taehyung would come over to check on me. Somewhere along the way some guy called Jimin also tagged along.”, you remember the guy from the party earlier,
“Oh— the blondie?”
“Yes, the blondie", he smiles. "They both tried to get me out of the house, I would sometimes but my mind was just not there. My mind would wander back to when I was with you. I missed you so much I was dangerously close to booking a flight to New York and showing up at your doorstep.”,
The thought pains you.
“I missed you too Kook.”, he looks at you tears forming in his eyes before turning away to cover it up. You squeeze his hand.
Silence overtakes the conversation. Before you can stop yourself you ask the question you’ve been itching to ask,
“Why did you end up blocking me?”
“Taehyung told me to.”
“He— what now?”, you say taken back before adding,
“If I catch him it’s on sight.”
He lets out a low laugh at your reaction and replies,
“He’s here.”
“Huh?”
“He’s in New York, he’s the one I came to visit with Jimin.”
“He— lives here?”
“Yh, he moved here two years ago.”
You and Taehyung lost touch about 3 years after you moved to New York. He deleted his instagram and you still had his number but never texted. So you lost contact, you just accepted it. It happens, a huge part of growing up is losing people but you’d always keep a fond memory of Taehyung.
“So this bastard has been here this whole time and didn’t even tell me?”, he chuckles,
“To be fair, since he didn’t have you on socials anymore he didn’t really know where you were either.”
“Fair enough, I’m still gonna beat his ass if I ever see him though. Why would he tell you to do that?”
“He saw both sides, I know you still talked to him and he could see both of us in pain. He knew better than to ask you to do it because you wouldn’t, you might’ve never texted me again but you would’ve never blocked me. So one night he came over and came to the conclusion no contact was the solution to put an end to our misery and to this day I don’t know if that was true or not because in a way not having reminders of you every time I opened an app helped but then I could feel the void you left behind so clearly it physically hurt. I don’t think it ever stopped hurting. I always wonder how you’re doing, if you’re happy, if you changed, if you still have the same habits as before, all of those things that I shouldn’t think about but still do.”
“I think about you too, all the time.”, before adding
“Maybe we can try again?, maybe this time we could work, you can come stay over for a few days and see how it goes—“ he cuts you off,
“Y/N…”
“And then we can…”
“Y/N.”,
You pause.
“I’m leaving tomorrow”
“Oh.“
“My flight is at 9.”
The thought of only having one night with him made you sick. You stay silent. The silence is loud, before Jungkook’s mouth moves again,
“I know, I wish things could be different but we can still make the most out of it yeah?”
You turn to face him, his eyes meets yours. He holds your gaze for a few seconds until his eyes drops to your lips. He doesn’t need to say it, he wants to kiss you and you want him to kiss you. He can tell you do by the way you bite your lips and lean closer. Though Jungkook being the gentleman that he is, still asks,
“Can I kiss you?”, to which you reply in a heartbeat,
“Yes.”
That’s enough to have him lunging towards you, one hand cradling your jaw, the other settling on your waist, his soft lips meet yours with urgency. One of your hands grabs the back of his head and the other automatically goes in his hair.
The kiss is soft at first, like he’s remembering what you feel like against him, like he’s savouring the feeling of you again after all these years. It’s only a matter of time before his tongue slips out, silently asking for access which you gladly grant him. Time blurs as you both star devouring each other, you both explore the others mouths with hunger. You feel yourself getting lost in his mouth while his tongue carefully maps every corner of yours.
He feels warm. So warm. The memories of his kisses from a decade ago flooding back in the span of a few seconds. You start straddling him, heart racing. You keep hungrily kissing each other for a few minutes.
You don’t want to break the kiss, you wish you could have him like this, mouth on yours, forever. But you reluctantly do so needing to catch some air.
Your hands falling to his chest, both of his hands dropping to you waist, you take deep breathes for a second.
When you look back at him, one thing is clear so you don’t think, just blurt it out,
"I want you Jungkook."
You see the exact moment his eyes darken. He nods and then speaks up,
"The car or here?"
You’re not generally fond of sex in public places but you can tell no one is around and you’re genuinely too worked up to wait any longer to feel him. So you quickly reply,
"Here."
Jungkook doesn’t need to be told twice, he takes off his shirt in a swift movement, you barely get a second to admire the sight in front of you before his mouth falls back on yours. You let your hands travel down his chest, dragging your fingers down his abs.
He starts devouring you again. You feel his mouth moving lower, trailing hot kisses down your neck to your chest. He stops there and starts sucking, you moan in pleasure. Your head starts spinning under his mouth, hands gripping hard on his shoulder.
He pulls away to admire the beautiful mark he just left on your skin, satisfied, he grins before moving back to your mouth to kiss you. You feel his hands roaming everywhere— your neck, your waist, your breast, your ass. He’s exploring you. Until you feel them on the zipper of your dress, he pulls away to look at you. You know exactly what he’s asking so you nod.
He’s quick to comply and unzips your dress. His fingers toy with the straps of your dress, easing them down. Undressing you inch by inch to expose your lace-adorned black ensemble. Without hesitation, he unclasps your bra in one swift motion.
Taking in the sight in front of him, he goes still and then whimpers, actually whimper.
"You’re so beautiful Y/N. God I fucking missed you." Your face heats up at the compliment and a smile adorns your face.
Seeing his frozen state admiring you, you decide to move and tug at his belt. He catches on, standing up he hurries to pull his pants off. Your eyes track every motion, drinking him in. Every line of his body seared into your mind. When the jeans finally pool at his ankles, his Calvin’s come into view.
Of course he still wears Calvin’s, some things just never change— you think to yourself. But you’re not complaining and can’t help but notice the curve and hardness beneath the thin fabric, instinctively, you press your thighs together, aching for release you can only imagine.
He sits back down next to you. Feeling hornier and bolder all of a sudden, you don’t hesitate and cup him through his briefs. Jungkook closes his eyes and groans.
He opens them again to look back at you, he sees you staring at him with a sly smirk on your face. That’s when he suddenly grabs you and shifts you around to have you underneath him, caging you between his arms.
"Two can play at this game Y/N." He says, hands settling tightly on your waist to pin you firmly in place.
He slowly draws his tongue from your naval all the way to your breasts. He sucks on one of them while fondling the other his hand. The same hand starts roaming down your body, until he reaches your thong. He lifts his gaze to look at you and feels the urge to growl, growl, at the sight of you— head tilted back, lips parted, eyes half-lidded, utterly intoxicating. And the mere vision of you, makes Jungkook want to blow his load on your face right there and then.
He carries on and drags your thong down in a swift motion. Coming back up he opens your thighs to have better access to your core. That’s when he enters a finger in you feeling all your wetness coating him.
You gasp and in a shaky breath you let out,
"Jungkook—"
"What do you want Y/N?"
"I want you inside me."
He continues easing his finger into you and adds another one to stretch you wider. You start squirming underneath him. A soft moan escaping your lips.
"I know, I know baby.", the pet name sends your thoughts spinning. But Jungkook doesn’t let you the time to, he pulls out of you. The cold air hitting your core all at once.
You almost want to cry at the loss of his finger until you see him pulling down his boxers, his angry cock springing free. You drool at the sight of him.
You suddenly feel him move to grab his jeans, he rummages through them. Then emerge holding a small, shiny foil— a slow, teasing reveal that makes your breath hitch. He quickly rips off the foil and wraps himself in the latex.
He gives himself a few lazy strokes, eyes never leaving yours.
He lays back down on top of you, you look at him with apprehension, he sees it and leans down to ease your mind with a kiss.
You smile into the kiss, he returns the smile then pulls away.
You feel him aligning himself with your entrance. His cock glides through your wet heat, he presses his forehead to yours, gaze unwavering as if looking away could cost him his life. You need him—need him unbearably, desperately. The desire burning through you is unmistakably real, and he feels every bit of it.
He moves slowly, filling you inch by inch, your thighs shaking around him, breath catching against his lips, fingers gripping his back.
"So fucking tight— just like I remember” he hisses.
And when he’s fully inside you, you see stars. You can’t think properly, all you feel is him— him trailing kisses down your neck, him dick buried inside you, him hands roaming everywhere on your body.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, his thumb finds your clit, circling it with practiced ease, his fingers move effortlessly, soaked from your slickness. A loud moan escapes you before you can stop it. His hand snaps up, covering your mouth. Realising you still are in public, no matter how secluded, Jungkook whispers,
“You gotta be quiet for me baby, can you do that?” He says slowing down the pace and you feel it, of course you fucking feel it.
“Yes, yes just— please don’t stop.” You whisper back, your voice so breathy it’s barely audible.
Though Jungkook hears you loud and clear so he picks up the pace again.
Your nails bite into his back, faint red lines marking your grip as you cling to him, meeting every thrust. The air fills with your scent, uneven breaths, and the rough growl rolling from his chest.
“Fuck, you’re squeezing me so good, love.”, the pet name makes you go absolutely insane, that’s when you feel it. The pressure builds and then shatters as your climax crashes over you.
You don’t need it to say it, he feels it, he feels you. He lets out a low groan, face pressed into the space between your breasts as he encourages you,
“Yeah… yeah, that’s it baby. Cum for me.” he murmurs into your ear, his voice wrapping around you, sending your body into a tremble.
The tension snaps, pleasure surging through your body as you cry out his name in loud moans, nails raking down his back while you come undone beneath him.
“Fuck” he groans, his pace faltering as your release pushes him over the edge. His hands dig into your hips, movements growing erratic as he buries himself deep, groaning low and guttural as he reaches his own climax.
He slowly eases himself out of you, rolls the condom off and ties it before putting it to the side to dispose of it later. He comes back down to kiss you again. This kiss is different, it’s all-consuming, him pressing in, claiming every breath, every thought, every fragment of you. You can’t help but smile, because you’re finally where you belong, with the man you never stopped loving even if you can’t bring yourself to admit it.
All you know is that you’re happy, he makes you happy.
Jungkook feels you smiling against him and starts grinning to himself. When you open your eyes to look at him, you see his eyes crinkling and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say this is the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen.
He pulls away from the kiss when the coldness of the December winter hits you like a fucking brick. You quickly try wrapping yourself and Jungkook in the blanket by dropping it over both your bodies. Jungkook chuckles and says,
“I have some spare clothes in my trunk, I’ll go get them. In the meantime wear my shirt and wrap yourself in the blanket to keep yourself warm love.”
You light up at the mention of warm clothes, Jungkook sees it and can’t help but feel endeared by you.
Your face snaps at that. You give him a look that screams “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be running to get me warm clothes already?”
He tries to bite back a laugh and quickly says,
“Right away, miss”, hand snapping up in a salute.
You let out a small chuckle as you start slipping on his shirt, while he hurriedly pulls on his jeans. He presses a quick kiss to your temple, grabs the used condom set aside earlier, before rushing to his car.
You look back at his retreating figure and can’t help but smile again. Being with Jungkook makes you feel like that 18 year old high school student all over again. He’s easy to be with. When you’re around him, your heart is full and you’re in your own little bubble. You don’t think about the three cases on your desk due next week, or the appointment with Mr. Jonas in two days.
You only see him.
10 years didn’t change that and you doubt no amount of time will.
But you know that you and him can’t happen. It doesn’t matter what you want. Your lives are taking you on two paths too different for you to stay together— your life in New York, his in Seoul. And god— it hurts, it hurts so much.
You have to let him go.
Before you can process it, a tear spills from your eye. You let it roll until you hear shuffling behind you. You don’t need to turn around, you know who it is so you quickly wipe away the tear and try to look as composed as possible before turning around.
You see Jungkook coming back with, unfortunately for your eyes, a hoodie on. He holds another hoodie, a pair of sweatpants and a blanket in his arms.
“I come barring gifts.”, he says with a boyish grin. You smile and reply,
“Ahh— when did I get so lucky?”, you say teasing and raising an eyebrow.
He chuckles, holding out his arm to help you stand. You drop the blanket back in place and rise. You notice him pull out tissue and a small water bottle from his sweats.
“Im sorry, that’s all I found to clean you up with.”, you smile at his thoughtfulness and reply,
“This will work just fine, thank you.”
He cleans you up as much as possible, slides the sweatpants onto you, then pulls the hoodie over the shirt of his you’re already wearing, before wrapping you snugly in the blanket.
It all feels so domestic, and you can’t help but smile from ear to ear. He mirrors your grin, happiness radiating just as brightly. From afar, you both probably look like two fools competing to see who can smile the widest but little do they know.
He wraps his hands around your waist and tugs you closer before stealing you a kiss.
“What was that for?”, you say smiling wider— if thats even possible.
“Just because.”, he says smugly, before adding “I missed you.”
And if thats even possible, your smile widens even more—safe to say you might be on the fast track to a sore jaw.
“I missed you too., you say, pulling away to lay back on the blanket. He lowers himself besides you— one arm instinctively sliding under your head as a pillow, the other wrapping around your waist.
You extend your blanket to him and you both just lay there in a comfortable silence for a a few minutes, letting the sound of the waves and the glow of the full moon fill the space between you while looking up at the sky.
That’s when you hear them— actually, you see them too, fireworks bursting in the sky, exploding in a riot of colours that paint the night.
You turn around to look at Jungkook, he’s already looking at you. You don’t say anything, you just lean in and smush your face against his. Your hands find the back of his neck and try to pull him as close as humanly possible.
You want him to feel how much he means to you. How hard it’s been starting the past 10 years without him by your side. How you wish distance never separated you. How you thought of him every single day since you left Seoul. How grateful you are for meeting someone as special as him. How much you love him, through that kiss.
Because he deserves to know.
The kiss is passionate, raw and full of emotions. Jungkook feels it and pulls you even closer by the waist. Once you pull way, Jungkook asks,
“What was that for?” with a wide smile decorating his face.
“Just because.” you say echoing his words from earlier.
“I love you.”
Jungkook looks like you just revealed Victoria’s Secret before opening his mouth,
“I love you.” he replies— three words, eight letters. The ones you’ve been dreading to hear again from that mouth for the past ten years.
You could cry— you don’t. You smile, wider than you ever have, and god that smile… it drives Jungkook insane. He feels accomplished, he made you smile, he’s won in life— that’s how it works, at least to him.
He pulls you in a tight hug and adds,
“Happy New Year Y/N”
You look up at him, eyes shining and reply,
“Happy New Year Jungkook” he smiles and presses a soft kiss to your temple before pulling you into a warm hug again.
You both lay there for a while, the moment is bittersweet.
You’ve let each other in again— I love you.
But deep down you know nothing can happen between you. You know Jungkook has to catch a flight in exactly nine hours and soon enough everything will go back to how it was before tonight.
Living through the void he left behind ten years ago and will leave again in a few hours.
But even if it’s temporary, you let yourself feel it. You let yourself sink deeper in his arms. You let yourself get lost again in a comfortable silence with one thing on your mind : him.
“I’ll drive you back c'mon”, Jungkook says getting up.
Parting ways was inevitable but of course you weren’t gonna make it easy for him. So you don’t move, stay where you are, turned towards the body of water in front of you, laying comfortably on the blanket while watching the waves come and go.
When your eyes go back to his, you think to yourself— he’s beautiful, eyes glistening under the moonlight, hair flowing in the wind and a beautiful smile adorning his lips.
You can’t leave, not now, so you give him a pleading look. Jungkook knows what that look means and he doesn’t fight it. Who cares if it's 4 am and he has a flight at nine in the morning? The flight can wait, he’d rather be with you.
So naturally he lays back down, arms circling your waist and pulling you closer. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, infatuated by your scent.
At this exact moment he wishes someone actually did invent a time machine because this is where he’d like to be forever— in your arms.
He pulls back to look at you. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to cover it— he could write essays, paint millions, sculpt until his hands ache but one thing is sure he could never capture how breathtaking you are in his eyes.
You look at him.
He looks at you.
A beat of silence and then you speak up
“Hi”
“Hi”
If eyes could speak his would scream love. He leans back in, he kisses you, not the needy kind. The soft “I want to savour every second” kind.
His lips feel light on you, years might’ve passed but the feeling of his lips on yours will never stop feeling like an explosion.
He pulls away, satisfied and settles back in the curve of your neck.
“Can we talk?”, he hums burying his face further into your neck, inhaling you again.
“Jungkook”, you push him a little to look at him,
“You know we— we can’t be together.”,
At this exact moment you wish you could turn back time and stop yourself from uttering those words and avoid the pained expression on his face. Jungkook is hurt. You hurt him. But all you did was be realistic, he knew that, even though it didn’t take any of the pain away.
“Shhh”,
“We still have a few hours until my flight. Let’s make the most out of it, please.”, his strained voice spoke louder than any words he could say out loud so you nod.
You cuddle, tighter, staring at the water moving back and forth for a few minutes until he says,
“Remember when we went skinny dipping?”, you chuckle at that before replying,
“We’d known each other for a month wasn’t it?”, you can feel him smile and nod.
The memory caused a tug at your lips— a month into Jungkook and you being absolute menaces together. Your whole grade went on a trip to Busan, his hometown.
When you got there he told you to trust him and led the path to one of the most beautiful hidden cascades you’d ever seen. Flowers everywhere, lagoon blue water, sunlight shining. Exactly the type of cascades you only ever read about in books.
You turned to look at him, he was still looking at the cascade until he turned towards you with a shit eating grin,
“I bet three bingsus that you won’t jump in the water like me”, he said practically smiling like the Cheshire Chat. You raised your eyebrow and replied,
“Bet is on.”
He smiled, took his shirt off and started pulling down his jeans when you quickly turned away to stare at anything but him.
“What are you doing?”, he chuckled at your panicked state and answered,
“Skinny dipping, what else?”
You turned back to him, face heating and flustered.
“What now?”
“You heard me, cmon.”, you stood there frozen before he added,
“It’s just me Y/N.”, that alone is enough for you to fold so you started undressing too.
He jumped first and you followed shortly after him, making sure he was fully drowned by the water beforehand.
When you got back to the surface, he was right there, the sweetest smile embellishing his face.
“Wasn’t that bad, was it?”
You laughed, a soft one, the type that made him go crazy. Before he knew it he was closer to you, hands on your cheeks, pulling you in the sweetest kiss possible.
When you pulled back, you both stared each other, smiling like two idiots before connecting your mouths together again.
The memory of your first kiss will forever be special to you, it was the start of a very beautiful yet complicated story.
“We were good to each other”, Jungkook says,
“We were.”
“We could still be?”, he says looking at you eyes full of hope.
“Jungkook…”, you pull out of his arms to look at him properly,
“You know we can’t”, you pause and take a deep breath,
“I love you, I really do but we have to be realistic— my life is here, yours in Seoul and nothing can change that. Too much has changed in the past 10 years, we can’t just pretend like the years didn’t go by. Don’t get me wrong, having you back even if it was only for a night was magical but I don’t want to have hope in something that clearly won’t work.”, you finish, tears now threatening to roll down your cheeks.
“I could move here, move in with you— ” you cut him off,
“Kook, the life you built for the past 10 years is back in Seoul.”
“You can’t just leave. I can’t let you do that. You have to move on, go back and forget what happened.”, you say, tears slipping down.
He wipes away a few tears off with his thumb before speaking up,
“I wish I could pretend like nothing ever happened between us, sometimes I wish nothing actually happened, that way at least i’d still have you in my life. You mean so much to me and 10 years isn’t gonna change anything. It could be 30 for all i care you would still be on my mind Y/N. I would still get butterflies when I see you, I would still smile whenever you cross my mind.”,
“I will always want you.”
The confession is there, honest and raw but you know better.
“Wanting someone just isn't enough sometimes.”, you sigh, trying to dry your tears,
“Do you know how many times I wished you never blocked me? I wished I could text you about what I’m up to, about which lecturer was pissing me off, about how I’m craving bingsu, about how I missed you— I needed you. You can’t just come back 10 years later and pretend everything can work out like it used to.”
Jungkook looks away before speaking up,
“While we were apart, I thought I could replace what we had and get over losing you, but I never did. It was always you.",
"I’m sorry, I really am. I wanted to tell you how I felt, how much I wanted you back but I didn’t know how to. Keeping you blocked was the easy way out, I was a coward. I wish I never did that.”
“I wish you never did that too. But here we are.”
“Listen Jungkook, I forgive you. What’s done is done, there’s no point dwelling on it now. But no matter how comforting having you next to me feels, our futures don’t align. I don’t want to get hurt again— I can’t… I can’t go through that kind of pain again, and I don’t want you to hurt either.”
Silence. Silence is what you’re left with. It’s heavy, uncomfortable and all you want to do is to get up and runaway but he speaks up,
“I understand.”
“We were never meant to be, were we?”, he adds.
The thought hurts.
“Maybe in another lifetime we made it?”, you reply smiling through the tears.
You see a small smile forming on his face before speaking up,
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Can we forget about everything and just be together one last time?”
“One last time?”
“One last time.”
“Okay.”
You look at him, he’s smiling now. He opens his arms and you snuggle back in.
Silence lingers for a few minutes, until distant sirens cut softly through the air.
“Do you want to come over? It’s getting cold.”, you say,
“I’d love to.”
You both get up and grab a blanket each before walking towards the car.
That night, you make love again. When you eventually fall asleep, he keeps you close, hugging you as tight as possible, inhaling you like something he’ll need to survive without. He studies every detail of your face, memorizing what he already knows he’ll miss.
You wake up to an empty bed. He’s gone. Jungkook is gone.
The clock shows 7:54.
He must’ve left a few minutes ago.
All the memories of last night come flooding back.
For the past 10 years memories of him made you feel sad or bitter— this time they don’t. This time you’re able to smile and you hope he’s able to smile too.
You think to yourself, maybe heartbreak isn’t as lonely when you know you’re going through it together.
You lie back in bed, your mind drifting back to last night, replaying it over and over—until the sound of your phone cuts through the silence.
You reach for it and see a new message lighting up the screen.
8:11 — Jungkook: You awake?
dividers by @cursed-carmine
a/n :
Okay wow, that was a crazy ride but you’ve made it to the end ;) I’d like to thank my literal soul sister @matchastwb for supporting me throughout the writing of this story. The story actually came to life the first time I ever met her, after she dared me to write something, anything in the next week while we were playing wnrs. My brain directly went back to the mention of a fic based on these songs from earlier. I always thought about writing something but never dared to because I never felt “good enough” to be a writer in a way but she pushed me to and I truly truly enjoyed the writing process so much. The writing of this story has been through so many phases haha, mood boards, countless convos and an actual irl experience that literally EMBODIED what Siren Sounds felt like to me with her (safe to say that was the HIGHLIGHT of this story for me). All this to say— thank you for being here for me and pushing me out of my comfort zone Mei, you’re such a dear person to me and I hope you know that. I hoped I could post this last week so you could be next to me while reading this but unfortunately couldn't :(( I already miss you so so much but I know we'll see each other again soon enough! I love you <3
And to those who read this, trusting my newbie ass to write something good enough for you to read, thank you. It truly means the world to me ❤️🩹 I love you and I wish you all a happy new year 2026 spread with love, kindness and the people you love. Again I hope you enjoyed my first and probably last story, I know I did :)