Mischief Managed @book-w-orm - Tumblr Blog

Unite the bees…

when I was a kid my mom had to intervene and make me stop saying “farewell” instead of “goodbye” because elderly relatives complained that it sounded like I expected them to die before I could see them again

glumshoe

people complain that my manner of writing is “stilted” and “pretentious” NOW but hooooly hell you should have seen it when I was a kid

I shit you not, the first line in one of my journals was “I am but a lass of nine years of age.”

glumshoe

#when my friends hamster died i said that he ‘’fell’’ like they said abt ppl dying in war

We would have gotten along swimmingly.

panseyiii-deactivated20180814

When I was about five my dad and I were joking around and he said “You’re a weirdo.” I then said, and I quote, “I suppose I am a rather odd child, are I not?”

I think about that a lot

glumshoe

I once described myself as “very queer indeed” on a school assignment, long before I ever figured that I am, indeed, very queer, in every sense of the word.

glumshoe

On the first day of kindergarten, they introduced us to our principal. I didn’t have the barest inkling of how Normal Humans greet authority figures, but I had read some books about knights and kings, so… I uh.

I bowed deeply and kissed my principal’s hand.

writing-prompt-s

You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.

captain-acab

You decide it’s best to find out what you can about this person. Cautiously, you approach his desk. He’s a handsome man, tall, but with a disarming smile. How could such a friendly guy with such cute, dorky glasses be dangerous?

You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”

He shakes your hand warmly. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking right through you. “The name’s Clark,” he says. “So, how long have you worked for the Daily Planet?”

misscrazyfangirl321

This one wins.

janothar

It’s been a few weeks, and one of Clark’s friends shows up. She’s pretty and all, enough muscle that she must work out. First thought would be that she should be maybe a 6.

Clark’s introducing her around. “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”

You blink, and take a step back in fear. You’ve never seen an 11 before.

radioactivepeasant

IT GOT BETTER

seventh-spheal

I’m about to make a terrible decision.

seventh-spheal

Turns out the flavors cancel each other out, and the whole thing tastes like nothing.

depechepacito

hey man what the fuck

andthentheywilleatthestars

that was God shielding you

cottoncanyon-deactivated2018012

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

sailed-0ut

Please don’t hesitate

imhellafit-personal-deactivated

1 penny below reporting limit for the IRS… I see what you did there

shysweetthing

(Don’t give me $599.99)

That’s not the right IRS rule.

$599.99 is the amount below which a business does not need to issue a 1099 to a contractor who provides business services. The contractor still needs to report the income on their taxes.

The correct number for the IRS rule for money that is gifted rather than received in a business transaction is $13999.99–more than that, and the recipient has to pay tax on the gift and report it to the IRS. Less than that, and there’s no taxation or reporting requirement.

If we’re choosing amounts on the basis of IRS limits, give these people $13,999.99.

Go. Do it.

capriciousarsonist

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $13,999.99

thebeeblogger

A time-lapse of the growth of honeybee larvae in the hive.

Some pretty cool stuff. Credit to @physics on instagram.

kayloween-deactivated20190102

Beautiful photo taken by a friend.

emilyisobsessed

my dog took a bullet for me

imthevideogameboy

THE SWIVEL OF THAT BUTT THO

rehfan

Not all heroes wear capes

markv5

День рождения сильного и независимого мужчины.

incorrigible-ixoreus

toomuchperfume

My favorite thing on Tumblr are translated Russian cats.

greelin

can you imagine not being human & just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? beautiful? by the water? unburdened? ideal

amthsts-remade-deactivated20191

I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything

meme-theft

65-percent-puns

PLEASE TURN YOUR SOUND ON

kinkshaming-butler

MOTHER LET ME FIGHT

persephoniiii

I am fucking crying

cryptid-rose-moved-deactivated2

View this post on Instagram

luciferetlucia

sandflake

I dearly wish that people would view their bodies as they view flowers…

Veins everywhere?

gorgeous~

Skin patches? Birthmarks?

hella rad~

Scars? Stretch marks?

beautiful~

Freckles? Moles? Acne scars?

heckie yeah~

Large? Curvy?

lovely~

Small? Thin?

charming~

Missing a few pieces?

handsome as ever~

Feel like you just look weird?

you’re fantastic looking~

mymindcontinuestobecomeabstract

THIS is the best post ever.

herokind-archive

THIS.

cinematic-orchestra

probably-bad-item-ideas

Item 28-X: The Immortal Pupper

numeneragoth

THIS IS A REALLY GOOD ITEM ACTUALLY

feebledungeons

I am going to gift this to one of my players as a legendary item. No joke. This will make his year.

skelixrikkard-remade

my computer is black and blue…. not black and red….. it’s a Fake Gamers

monado-soup

This black and red shit has to stop. The true gamer colors have been and always will be black and green. Black representing the exile and pain a gamer goes through, and green representing the mountain dew all true gamers pump directly into their bloodstream.

skelixrikkard-remade

the red represents mountain dew code red, you fool