Advice for writing someone with social anxiety!!
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ they're not just shy, they're IN THEIR HEAD constantly. your character isn't quietly observing the room in a mysterious way, not really, they're running a full disaster simulation of every possible thing they could say wrong. they've already imagined 47 ways this conversation could go badly. they're not present in the moment because they're too busy narrating their own failure in real-time.
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖the physical symptoms are INTENSE. it's not just butterflies. it's heart pounding so hard they think everyone can see their shirt moving. sweating in places they didn't know could sweat. hands shaking so badly they can't hold a cup. voice going weird and thin. stomach doing backflips. feeling like they're going to pass out or throw up or both. it's a full-body betrayal.
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ they avoid eye contact but also panic about avoiding eye contact. your character is stuck in this horrible loop of "look at them—no that's too much—look away—wait now you look weird—look back—oh god you looked away too fast they think you hate them—" and meanwhile the other person just asked how their weekend was and they've been silent for 7 seconds.
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ they rehearse EVERYTHING. phone calls are scripted in advance. text messages are rewritten 14 times. they've practiced their Pizza order in the car. they've planned conversation topics before hanging out with friends they've known for YEARS. and even with all that preparation, they still mess it up and replay it in their head for the next decade.
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ leaving events early feels like both failure and relief. your character finally escapes the party and feels this RUSH of relief, then immediately feels guilty for leaving, then worries everyone noticed them leave, then convinces themselves everyone was happy they left, then feels bad about that. they're in the car having a full emotional crisis while texting "had a great time!" because lying is easier.
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ they're analyzing every single thing they said. the interaction ended 4 hours ago but your character is still dissecting it. "why did I say that?" "did I laugh too loud?" "I interrupted them once, they definitely hate me" "I should have said this instead" "that joke didn't land, I'm so awkward" "they took 3 seconds to respond, I said something wrong", it's a mental highlight reel of perceived failures.
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ silence is TERRIFYING. your character feels personally responsible for filling every conversational gap. if there's a pause, they panic and say something stupid just to fill the void. they can't just exist comfortably in quiet. silence feels like judgment, like everyone is noticing how weird they are, like the world is ending.
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ compliments make them suspicious. someone says "I like your shirt" and your character's brain goes: "are they being sarcastic? is this a setup? what do I say back? if I say thanks do I sound arrogant? should I compliment them back? is that weird? oh god I've been silent too long..." and they end up mumbling something incomprehensible and walking away feeling like an idiot.
