MBTI & Enneagram Enthusiast

INFJ 6w7 (649) so/sx

[theseeker469-blog]

469 vs 459: Independent? Or very very not?

I remember reading a post somewhere saying that the main difference between these two is that the 459 is very independent whereas the 469 is very very not. I can’t find the original post, but I want to address this.

The 459 certainly is very independent, being the most withdrawn type. But this can vary to some degree. A 4w3 5w6 9w1 so/sx will probably be the least independent of the tritype, although still would be very independent. The 4w5 5w4 9w8 the most independent and erasures of this tritype.

As for the 469, I think this vary a lot more than the 459. 4w3 6w7 9w1 so/sx will be very dependant, especially with the 6 in charge. Whereas a 4w5 cp6w5 9w8 sp/sx will still need people and reassurance, but a lot less of it, especially if the 6w5 is at the bottom. The 6w5 has a very do-it-yourself attitude, along with the take it or leave it mentality of the 4w5 and more balance nature of the 9w8. Even more so if they are introverted, which is likely.

I felt like I should say something as it did not align with my experience. I’m 9w1 4w5 p6w5, so with the low 6w5 and the closeness to the 149 and 459 I’m a much more self critical, withdrawn and independent seeker.

Then how do we tell 459 and 469 apart? At the end of the day the 469, no matter how many 5 wings, needs the reassurance of others. They can’t be to sure of their own judgement, they fear get anything wrong especially when they have company. 469 may say a lot of things like “I thought maybe”, “it could be”, “that’s what I thinking so far, but I’m not too sure,” “I imagine,” “I’m not too certain, but,” “just an idea I had, I’m not too sure of it,” and if they can they will phrase the things they want to say as questions instead of statements. If you don’t do this you probably don’t have a p6. I’m not too sure if cp6 would act that way, they are unlikely for this tritype and it’s kinda hard to imagine the 9 with 6cp.

[theseeker469-blog]

469 Communication and Compatibility

(phobic 6 only)

469 may say a lot of things like “I thought maybe”, “it could be”, “that’s what I thinking so far, but I’m not too sure,” “I imagine,” “I’m not too certain, but,” “just an idea I had, I’m not too sure of it,” and if they can they will phrase the things they want to say as questions instead of statements. If you don’t do this you probably don’t have a p6. I’m not too sure if cp6 would act that way, they are unlikely for this tritype and it’s kinda hard to imagine the 9 with 6cp.

If they are 6w7 4w3 they will be more likely to seek and be open to people and socialising. 4w5 6w5 will be more take-it-or-leave-it, do-it-you-self, withdrawn and aloof. Although this tritype is shy and withdrawn regardless.

They may have unique styles of speech. They will most likely be very agreeable, but questioning. They may even make you question yourself.

They are most likely to get a long with 2s, 9s, 5s, 7s, and p6s. Least likely to get a long with core 8s with no 2, 5 or 7. Although this is just my calculated guess.

They will probably feel uneasy around people who seem too loud, critical and complaining as they fear being wrong and don’t like conflict.

My best friend is a 952 the problem solver. It seems like a pretty ideal pairing, they are well equipped to deal with the seeker’s questioning and doubting with their problem solving nature. The 9 makes them calm, the 2 and 5 give reassurance to the 6 and the 2 give the 4 caring and understanding. And it would probably be beneficial to the 259 as well as it suits their nature.

[funkymbtifiction]

What is the maximum how an IxFP could use Te? (with all enneagram core)

Committing to and finishing projects in a timely manner, learning to market their skills and focus on the most important things first (prioritizing tasks), being able to organize their external environment, and back up their opinions with facts.

Based on cores and fixes, how to do this:

1s: already on it, but likely taxing inferior Te a lot / neglecting self-care; being so hard on themselves, they may self-shame rather than learning ‘how to’.

2s: will have to focus less on pleasing and appeal to others, more on doing.

3s: will attain better success tapping into lower Te, but may not know themselves or have a good sense of direction / what they truly want from life.

4s: need to get past their intense emotions and inability to let go of their desire to be different / total emphasis on identity, to start working toward productivity.

5s: have to let go of understanding everything, getting lost in fantasies, and being hung up on minor unimportant abstractions and details to produce.

6s: need to focus on researching for themselves, and trusting their own conclusions and hunches, rather than relying on others to provide Te.

7s: need to learn to focus and finish things, rather than chasing after every new idea that comes into their head.

8s: need to realize you can accomplish nothing if you are fighting against other people all the time; being belligerent and defensive will prevent you from actual self-strengthening, since it distracts you.

9s: will have to overcome their apathy and easy distractions to find the energy and fire to self-motivate, work toward change and risk the ‘unpleasantness’ that comes from using Te well and not always being accommodating. They’ll have to fight against distracting themselves with menial tasks.

(A lot of 9′s set out to do something, get distracted, and attend to unimportant, easy things that make them feel ‘okay’ instead of tackling hard stuff that gives them anxiety. Any 9-core type is going to struggle with it.)

- ENFP Mod

[funkymbtifiction]

MBTI-ENNEAGRAM PORTRAITS: HEAD CENTER TYPE 6

AUTHORED BY CHARITY / ENFP MOD

[Elizabeth Bennet, Pride & Prejudice: 6w7]

6w5: Since these two types are at odds with one another (6 reaches out for safety, 5’s withdraw), this is an intellectual, self-controlled, cautious, and reclusive Six. Loves to amass knowledge in preparation for life, and consults with one or two trusted individuals when decision-making, but prefers to fall back on their own knowledge to make decisions. Has many realms of interests and skills, can be bookish or traditional, good at future predictions. Has hidden intensities, dimensions, and activity, more withdrawn and secretive; wants to be seen but not too seen. Phobics are diplomatic; counterphobics are distant, cool loners or argumentative. Can brood over self-perceived injustices, entertain conspiracy theories, or withdraw into paranoia. When unhealthy, they may bury themselves in busy work or impulsive sensory pursuits to stave off the anxiety. At their healthy best, they are solid, dependable citizens. The conscience of their communities. Approachable leaders who place emphasis on team work.

6w7: A more extroverted, playful, entertaining, adventurous, and risk-taking (within reason) Six. More plainly desires to be liked and often uses humor to ease tension, disarm and bond with others; can be charming, sociable, and proactive. (Many comedians are 6w7s, who infuse their skepticism or sarcasm with humor.) This Six balances skepticism with cheerfulness, often curious and self-contradicting, but can also be insecure, irritable, and moody. Phobics are diplomatic and play up the humor; counterphobics are more accusatory and argumentative. When unhealthy, they tend to get hyper critical of themselves and others while burying themselves in busy work which of course has to pass their critical eye for perfection else it is no good. When healthy, they are able to be leaders and visionaries who diffuse tension with humour, able to spot and act on opportunities by sizing up risks quickly and efficiently.

[Veronica Mars, Veronica Mars: 6w7 - counterphobic]

Sixes and the Perceiving Function Axis:

(There is an enormous difference between Ne-dom 6’s and Si-dom 6’s, so I’m dividing this section into separate sections, unlike the other types.)

NeSi: Tones down the usual risk-taking behaviors of high Ne, in favor of cautious exploration, continual testing of sources / ideas, and attentiveness to the futuristic consequences of decisions. Excellent problem solvers, since Ne gives them multiple likely immediate and future outcomes, and Six keeps an eye on potential problem areas. May doubt one’s intuitive conclusions and question them, preferring instead to play it safe / stick with what they know. Strong inferior Si development. Prone to playing the devil’s advocate and taking multiple perspectives in testing theories, ideas, and people; less likely to cling to traditional views, but more likely to cling to their people-support system (family and friends). Six’s desire to stay connected to others may mean they stay too long in negative relationships, out of fear of solitude and Ne’s desire to re-frame negative impressions into more positive directions. 5-wing can make ENXPs seem introverted / distrustful; 7-wing aligns with Ne easily and uses zany wit to test people with. Less likely than the SiNe types to detailed planning / preparation for safety’s sake, prone to winging it (and worrying about it; doubts one’s ability to cope in the sensory world, may avoid any kind of risk). Counterphobics likely to spontaneous impulses and risk-taking.

SiNe: Traditional thinking, sometimes reluctant to abandon the ‘safe’ structures of their upbringing, inclined to root themselves in a group for security’s sake (political affiliation, religious beliefs, etc), somewhat less reluctant to question their initial ideologies or embrace ideas than Ne-leading Sixes. Focuses on safety and community first, concerned with risk-taking, likely to see multiple negative scenarios of how things could play out. Often collects useful books on self-protection and self-help. Excellent at envisioning various outcomes and preparing for each one, so always prepared, good awareness of the details of their needs, with a strong sense of how to accomplish things in the world and maintain relationships (but they often test others, to make sure of their loyalty). 5-wings are prepared for anything and have an incredible knowledge base; 7-wings are more extroverted and tap into their Ne-humor. The ‘linear’ thinking of Six may ‘temper down’ Ne-dom, give it a quieter internal focus and structured viewpoint. Counterphobics may show sensory aggression.

[Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 6w5]

SeNi, NiSe: Adds a level of caution to this combination and tempers excessive use of Se risk-taking and opportunism; makes the SeNi more focused on potential fall-out of decisions and aware of the environment and its potential threats – will use Se to scan and read the people in the room, and calculate their physical threat and/or trustworthiness (may be excellent facial / body language readers); far less likely to engage in hedonistic behaviors or reckless spending. Has deeper Ni development and will turn their expertise toward protecting their trusted family and friends (their ‘group’) from negative consequences. Will not cling to traditional thinking, but instead invest themselves in worthy pursuits guaranteed to bring them stability and safety. NiSe will distrust their gut in favor of collecting outside perspectives (which is at odds with Ni); may become suspicious, distrustful, or paranoid, but also excellent at foreseeing and heading off problems / maintaining a strong sense of security for themselves and trusted others. Strong foresight into people’s true motivations and who is trustworthy or not. Counterphobics of both varieties may become violent or aggressive if pushed too far (Se).

[Faith, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 6w7 - counterphobic]

Sixes and the Judging Function Axis:

FiTe, TeFi: False Fe-ness due to Six’s desire for social harmony, to draw no negative attention, or have anything threaten themselves – will peace-make and hide true feelings behind distracting others with wit and humor (7-wing) or by withdrawing and concealing their true feelings (5-wing). Strengthens Te and makes it proactive in pointing out logical fallacies, spotting inconsistencies, and taking quick action to resolve potential threats. Te is always ‘on’ high alert, and seeking to find ways to maintain financial security and monitor their relationships. Six may blind Fi to its own emotions. Counterphobics will be aggressive and confrontational in asserting themselves. Will make thinkers warmer and more approachable, and feelers more logical and skeptical.

FeTi, TiFe: Enhances Fe’s natural ability to harmonize with others and form social groups, enables them to launch from a place of ‘shared’ – ideals, perspectives, experiences – and gives them a sense of security in defining themselves as part of a larger group. Skeptical of newcomers but, once assured of their trust, able to invite them in and show them warmth and appreciation. Stronger Ti development, in analyzing potential threats, understanding others’ motives, and arming self with knowledge to combat feelings of anxiety. Will increase the Fe of TP types, and increase the Ti of FJ types.

Note: Sixes are notoriously self-contradicting – warm and friendly, but skeptical and distrustful; covetous of authority but also push against it; prone to continual testing of their family and friends yet loyal to them; they can be agreeable, or play the devil’s advocate; their only consistency is in their inconsistencies. They think so much it hurts, and are the most cerebral types. They are prone to answering, “I don’t know,” or “It/that depends,” and not knowing what they truly want; they also tend to judge people on behavior more than motives, and may have trouble self-inserting themselves into another’s shoes. They (along with the Nines) are the type most likely to struggle to find their core Enneagram type.

[littlemusingsmaybe]

The Counterphobic 6, my take.

I’m not here to say cp6′s get a bad wrap, or that we’re misunderstood. However, i do think there are some nuances that could be clarified. For example, as a counterphobic 6, I would not describe my inner dialogue as *INWARD SCREAMING* or *RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* as every tumblr post seems too. Of course these posts are merely being humorous, and there is no harm in that. The real problem is that the enneagram 6 is a complex subject, especially the counterphobic side. Being as it is that most people get their info from the internet, we have to make sure there is ample resource for people to find out about each type. It was too the point that I insisted in my own mind that there was no way I was counterphobic, no way at all. I was a Phobic 6 for months, not relating with or wanting to associate with any description of a counterphobic 6. It wasn’t til I got into a skirmish with my INFJ over something that I realized the root of the problem was i was running AT the anxiety, and that was just a thing I did. (while she runs away) I took me observing the mechanics of the thing to relate with it because the descriptions are just so intensely unrelatable. They all seem to describe an 8-ish ESTP character that I don’t relate with at all. 

At the core of the thing, a counterphobic 6 is simply a 6, that runs at sources of anxiety rather than away. HOW they do it is not set in stone. For me it might look something like this: 

There is an elephant in the room, Stacy and Robert are sitting down talking in the corner. The last time I saw them a few weeks ago, they we’re angry at me. I know them to be reasonable people but I don’t know If they’ve forgiven me since I’ve apologized. A severe anxiety overtakes me. I cannot deal with being in the same room with them and not knowing how they’re thinking of me, what they might be saying about me, and if they’re still hurt. I HAVE to go sit with them an make the first strike. I sit by them and make a lighthearted joke to see if they smile.

Now let’s compare this to what a phobic 6 might do:

There is an elephant in the room, Stacy and Robert are sitting down talking in the corner. The last time I saw them a few weeks ago, they we’re angry at me. I know them to be reasonable people but I don’t know If they’ve forgiven me since I’ve apologized. A severe anxiety overtakes me. What if they still hate me? What if they’re talking about me right now? Maybe if they don’t see me it won’t remind them… What if they walk over here and attack me!? I think I should leave… I should just go outside and avoid this altogether.

Now, I’m not saying the phobic 6 approach is worse, Not at all, its much less annoying and obnoxious. However, I don’t think people understand the distress that cp6′s feel, not just in social situations, but in general. If a cp6 feels a punishment coming they just want to take it as soon as possible to avoid the agonizing wait. The counterphobic 6, above all else, wants to put an end to their anxiety as quickly as possible by whatever means necessary. They don’t want to wait for a situation to resolve, they want to resolve it. They don’t want to wait for trouble to come, they want to go to the trouble. They would rather meet danger with wide eyes and clinched fists than have it creep up on them and stab them while their backs are turned. Idle worrying is the enemy. Fear is the Dragon unslain. They connot stand loose ends or unresolved narratives. Looming trouble is a dark cloud constantly pouring rain and it is unbearable. I work at a Learning Center as a teachers assistant. I would like to tell you about the curious case of young Stephan. Stephan is a seemingly violent and aggressive child of about 7. I often remark to my INFJ girlfriend who works with me “Stephan is my spirit animal”. He is so aggressive towards teachers, and other children, even me. He says things, angrily like “Hey, who asked you!?” or “whatever, bub!” or “ggrrraaaaah, not (blank) again” and “*incomprehensible angry muttering to self*” He’ll attack me verbally, or threaten to beat me up and I’ll just smile and say “I’m more than twice your size, buddy” softly and nonthreatening. To which he then becomes very passive aggressive and dismissive as if he never said anything to begin with. What Stephan doesn’t want you to know is that he’s actually intensely anxious. You can tell that when he talks aggressively he is doing so feigning confidence he doesn’t have, he may stutter or trail off. There is no forcefulness in his energy, only an harsh defense disguised as an offense. He’s afraid nobody is protecting him. That we’re all here to judge him (it is a school after all) and that at the end of the day there is nothing he can really do to stop it. So he lashes out with anxious energy and feigned confidence. And I’ll tell you, as an adult of 23, of the hundreds of kids I’ve seen, I’ve never found a child I more strongly related to. 

We’re every bit of the nervous wreck of the phobic 6, but its almost as if they can “take it” better. I marvel at the phobic 6s ability to let the nervous energy stew and avoid the problem. Problems that seem a long way off can’t get here quick enough. At the end of the day, it’s not that I’m aggressive, It’s that I’m scared that I can’t know how things will play out (or if they’ll play out) unless I make them play out. I’m not trying to hurt or annoy anyone, I’m simply afraid and can’t stop myself. All I really need is to be reassured. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from anyone. Unless I get that I can’t relax, and all I want to do is relax! 

Unfortunately, most cp6′s aren’t aware they’re counterphobic, or even that they’re ruled by their anxiety. Many cp6s will not suffer the humiliation of admitting they’re anxious or uncertain. Many cp6′s are not even feelers or consciously focusing on how they feel. That’s your 8ish ESTP cp6 archetype. But for those of us who are aware and searching for answers and admitting our flaws… cut us a bit of slack. Not asking for an excuse, just reassurance that we can trust you and are well liked. A swift end to problems and anxieties is all we want and your assistance in the matter would be greatly appreciated!

[infp-life]

[tsremovedarchive-blog]

CARING FOR ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6

I can’t say I have the Type 6 distinctly operative within me, but some of the best people I’ve known are this type. I first got to know the type to some extent through my grandmother and then through a couple of good friends that helped me while I was in my teens, dealing with family dysfunction. Later on, my experience with more people of this type was mixed and I studied the Enneagram more. So this is caring for the Type 6, for anyone that would like to promote or - at least - respect their well-being and growth. If you have more input, feel free to add! What to keep in mind about the type: The Type 6 can be a highly committed person, taking their commitments very seriously (sometimes too seriously). They seek stability and security in some form and will make sure they know well what they’re getting themselves into. They question and test, and their trust may be difficult to earn. They tend to do their best to deliver on their promises and expect the same from others. They lose respect for people they view as lacking integrity and responsibility or who are not as diligent as they could be for the causes they deem important. Generally, they aim to make positive contributions and work hard to make things better from a small to a bigger scale - by assisting a few select people, groups, communities or humanity as a whole. What they enjoy: - Improving their knowledge and understanding. They are cerebral and technical-minded; they will seek to study and grasp systems, trends, their components and how they interconnect - down to specific details. - Making progress toward their aspirations. They have (or need to have) projects and goals they can invest in, preferably purposeful ones that lead to something significant. - Building solid relationships and feeling safe within them. They may be hard to make friends with, but some of them can be some of the best friends you’ve ever had and won’t settle for a poor definition of friendship. They look for people they can count on and rely on. - Appreciation and positive feedback. While some of them may be adverse to praise and some may instead verge on vanity, in the end, being recognized can be helpful to them for evaluating their actions… if not only satisfactory. - Being or doing epic or legendary things. Although not necessarily the most ambitious people, they can be idealistic and put their hearts and souls into passing on a unforgettable legacy. What helps them: - Making things clear. They are suspicious and often anxious. Vague and obscure information is not enough. They need to know where things stand and what they’re made of. - Keeping it real and down-to-earth. They can be dreamy and indulge in fantasies, but ultimately, at least a portion of what they visualize must be pursued and manifested in a practical manner, taking the steps necessary to make things come true. - Reciprocating their efforts. What’s fair and just is important to them and they’re usually attuned to this, whether they are able to be accurately discerning or not. They can be very serviceable, and in some cases, this is purely out of principle or generosity and they don’t intend to receive in return. However, there are times when situations must be win-win and exchanges 50/50 (or at least something close to this). What to watch out for: - Skepticism. While often necessary, it might be taken to the point of detriment and turn into pessimism. At its best, it helps analyse and see things for what they are. At its worst, however, it erodes confidence and becomes cowardice. - Devil’s advocate. Arguing for the sake of arguing, unable to choose a side. They may be trying to examine from as many angles as they can, but might also be thrilled by the heat of debates. At times, this costs them and everyone involved much. - Demands and complaints. They might assume deals where there were none to begin with and be adamant about quantity and quality, developing a sense of entitlement while in a position of privilege. Or it might simply be that they’re overextending themselves and don’t feel or are not appropriately rewarded. - High or impossible standards. They might hold themselves and others to high standards. Some of these might be impossible to reach, given the circumstances. And some are not as important as they believe them to be and need not to be imposed. This can leave them and others feeling like they’re never enough. - Focus on actual and potential problems. As troubleshooters, they don’t ignore problems and try to solve, fix or keep them from happening. This makes them defenders and more. Yet, too much focus on problems can cause said problems to grow in size and keep people in misery or stuck within a comfort zone that’s not quite comforting. What to really be concerned about: - Pedestaling. It’s fine to honor others, especially if they do possess noteworthy qualities. The problematic issues begin when they are set up in an asphyxiating, tall place from which they will inevitably eventually fall and be no more than disappointing. It’s even more problematic if they become harshly competitive and put others down in order to hold to higher regard whom they value most. It’s essential to remember that even people that are the object of adoration can be imperfect humans and not always perform in a manner that merits worship. - Scapegoating. Looking for someone to “lead” them and make all or most of the decisions for them just so that they will have somebody else to blame and not be under the pressure of exercising good judgement and dealing with the consequences. They might be quick to point fingers and deny their own wrongdoings and shortcomings, failing to improve themselves and take control of their destiny. Taking the time to reason this with them might get them to see things differently. - Devoting to false Gods. In desperate attempts to have a savior and protector, they might devote to people and figures that do not truly serve their best interests and stubbornly hold on to them. This might turn into obsession and extremism and lead them into making regrettable choices. They might become dogmatic and fanatic to destructive degrees and rationalize their behavior. While this is a complicated state that’s tricky to awaken from, it’s possible to gradually direct their faith toward more suitable and moderate beliefs. Why should you bother to care? Whether your relationships with Type 6 people are intimate or not, putting in, at the least, a bit of effort on your part (as much as it’s appropriate) can go a long way in making things better for everyone involved. Note: These are only a few things to consider when caring for Type 6.

[funkymbtifiction]

Healthy / Unhealthy Head Triad:

Pulled off PersonalityCafe. Saw no cited source. (Know it? Tell me.)

Enneagram 5

At their best: profound vision, objective insight, innovative exploration.

Mid-levels: comprehensive knowledge, intense preoccupation, cynical argumentation.

At their worst: eccentric nihilism, phobic delirium, psychotic paralysis.

Healthy 5w4: more able to participate in life. When the fiveish desire to withdraw and sort things out is no longer compulsive, the consciously chosen time alone becomes a tool for understanding the world, rather than an entrapping habit. The fourish passion for beauty emerges as the conscious result of harnessing the emotions rather than being their slave. Begin to deeply understand the simple, elegant way the awesome complexity of the world emerges from fundamental principles. They find great joy in watching and learning. When the perception of five and the passion of four are augmented by eight’s power and leadership, plus one’s intuitive wisdom, clear comprehensions can be transmitted to others.

Unhealthy 5w4: gets lost in the details. The compulsive analysis of five can lead to elaborate pseudo-logical constructions designed to explain everything. The four-wing’s emotionality adds a flavor of dramatic hopelessness. Others Simply Do Not Understand. No one could understand. Retreats to a place of safety, hoping to escape from view, continuing to uncover the truth. There is little to no social involvement. The panic and scattered mania of seven combine with twoish self-congratulatory hysteria. Can come back into the world, awkward and excitable, ready to bolt but ready to passionately defend a bizarre, baroque fantasy world. As inner tension builds, schizoid withdrawal becomes more and more likely. The end result is a kind of terrified fugue, completely cut off from reality. The only escape from constant overwhelming chaos is inward.

Healthy 5w6: gains social ease. Deep perception and serene faith combine for a kind of knowing that focuses on the truth of human interactions. Overcomes the fear of intimacy and finds satisfaction in genuine relationships. Strikes a balance between the urge to withdraw to sort things out and the desire to feel safe among trusted friends. The need diminishes to protect against deceit by constantly analyzing people, leading to greater comfort and depth in friendship. Brings together the powerful insight of five, the stamina and leadership of eight, the deep faith and genuineness of six, and the inner peace of nine.

Unhealthy 5w6: becomes afraid of people. Mistrust interacts with reductionist analysis, and the world begins to seem more threatening. Threeish competitive urges might emerge, combining with sevenish mania to create a kind of intense, argumentative combativeness to hide a deep sense of inadequacy. This turns people away, leading to a greater sense of isolation. Tends to rationalize that most people are not honest anyway, and since other people fail to recognize the value of their brilliant ideas, they are not worth knowing at all. Paranoia and anxiety lead 5w6 into a terrifying spiral in which increasingly bizarre fabrications may be used to explain meaning into even the most mundane events.

Enneagram 6

At their best: self-affirming courage, faithful affection, responsible discipline.

Mid-levels: dutiful loyalty, anxious ambivalence, belligerent scapegoating.

At their worst: needy conformism, paranoid obsession, self-destructive panic.

Healthy 6w5: becomes free of anxiety and reductionist analysis, allowing their endearing gentility and good humor to emerge. Laughs easily, with a sense of relief. Can it really be so simple to live and enjoy life? There is a feeling of relaxed good nature and certainty. This is a person you can trust, someone to rely on for true friendship. Turns into a warm and deeply loving person, someone in touch with a real universal authority, internally and externally available. Acts with quiet confidence, coming from a place of peaceful faith. Essential sixness brings deep interpersonal bonding, essential fiveness builds penetrating perception, and nineish tranquility combines with eightish personal power.

Unhealthy 6w5: begins to feel anxious and wants to run away to a protected place. Unable to trust inner or outer authority, they search for an explanation for the constant tension. Others are easy to blame, and by projecting the causes of anxiety outward, 6w5 can find a temporary release. With increased stress, 6w5 loses faith in the blaming. No explanation for the anxiety satisfies, and the world begins to seem like a horrible, frightening game. Paranoia escalates. Bounces rapidly from fearful withdrawal to tense, overconfident pretense. Everyone is out to get me, and there is no place to run. I’m frightened out of my wits, and I know I am headed for a complete breakdown, but maybe if I can get myself into enough trouble someone will come and rescue me.

Healthy 6w7: has a feeling of firm steadiness, sure-footed and quiet. Sevenish impulsivity and sixish anxiety diminish, replaced by a calm deliberateness. Although fun and companionship are still highly valued, the desperate longing for security converts into inner strength. Finds a deep sense of belonging to the universe, and to mankind. Nineish calm and sixish faith combine with sevenish joy and fiveish perception. Shares with others a sense of eternal companionship and security.

Unhealthy 6w7: visibly desperate. Anxiety and insecurity become powerful controlling influences. Jumping from one colorful emotional state to another, trying to find any way to quell the increasing sense of uncertainty and vulnerability. They looks for someone out there who will help, but finds no one to trust. Will try anything to escape from the increasingly intolerable situations that arise. Physical illness, car troubles, boyfriends, girlfriends, landlords, all become scapegoats for the real problem of inner helpless dependence. You are either all-good or all-bad, and whether I like you or not can change from moment to moment. My very identity splits into fragments as I desperately cut myself into pieces to escape the horrible sense of impending catastrophe.

Enneagram 7

At their best: ecstatic gratitude, spontaneous enthusiasm, passionate accomplishment.

Mid-levels: active materialism, restless superficiality, addictive excess.

At their worst: irresponsible debauchery, manic hysteria, burnt-out debilitation.

Healthy 7w6: finds a new kind of centered calmness, as impulsivity and the desire to entertain fall away. Instead of shifting to another mood, they wait and see where this one leads. The slippery, happy-go-lucky quality is replaced by a smooth feeling of attentive watchfulness. A kind of directed, joyful intelligence like a sure presence, with an unlimited attention span. Becomes the master of many talents because of fiveish perceptivity, combined with deep fulfillment and pleasure from the experience of being fully present. Profoundly grateful for the continuing opportunity to take part in the unfolding drama of life. What a gorgeous, unpredictably fantastic world! What incredible beauty there is in even the smallest details of this universe! How excitingly alive I feel, and how at-one with the world! Let’s celebrate together the deep abundance of life and love.

Unhealthy 7w6: the search for ever-increasing levels of excitement and stimulation seems like a way out of the apparent trap of boredom and unease, but it brings only temporary relief. Maybe another kind of fun will help me avoid this increasing sense of hopeless ambivalence. Maybe I should start a new company, or have a great big party! Tries to find the answer in increasingly grand plans for great, exciting events. As the ever-growing fear and boredom keep coming back, excessive stimulation approaches dangerous levels. Without increasing awareness, this course of exciting overload leads to extreme exhaustion, and an incapacitating despairing depression. At the bottom of the scale of health, 7w6 becomes a worn-out husk, utterly debilitated by drugs, sexual excess, and general over-stimulation, and totally incapable of self-care. At every opportunity, every means available is used to provide some escape.

Healthy 7w8: settles down. Become aware of the compulsive nature of the desire for excess and learn how to moderate the constant power-trip. Finds other people are easier to get along with when they are not being pushed or receiving a hard-sell on some wild idea. Love and appreciation for subtlety become important aspects of a life that includes increasing amounts of silent, peaceful contemplation. Discovers by letting the mind’s chatter come to an end, a new level of perception emerges, with a greater understanding of how the world fits together. Instead of exploding outward into impulsive activity, 7w8 harnesses enthusiasm for practical uses. Life becomes a joyful, loving celebration. Look how much we have been given! Jump into the universe with both feet! Find your power and become what you were meant to be!

Unhealthy 7w8: gets ever-wilder. When others fail to respond with enough enthusiasm to high-pressure sales tactics, and the high of the latest exciting trip begins to wear off, it’s time for the next wild ride. Maybe just a little bigger dose will do it. New ideas seem to erase old problems, and each one is bigger and better than the last one. If it doesn’t work, forget it and move to the next grand scheme. You’ve got to try this, it’s totally fantastic! As the highs get higher, the lows scrape lower. The miserable mornings are soon forgotten, because there’s an even better high coming. Heads into ever-deeper entrapment, promising ever-greater rewards to those who will finance (or otherwise support) rapidly exploding levels of excessive indulgence. It all leads inevitably to the great crash, and utter dissipation.

[funkymbtifiction]

Enneagram 6: The Loyalist

Healthy Sixes trust their own experiences and are okay with being unable to predict the outcome. They are productive, logical thinkers who organize their thoughts and actions around what is most advantageous for the common good. Astute judges of character, they are honest, loyal, reliable, and positive.

Six Traits

Sixes imagine and plan for the worst

Sixes distrust authority figures

Sixes are sharp, analytically-minded troubleshooters

Sixes are the ultimate devil’s advocate

Sixes are funny, understanding, loyal, and compassionate

Sixes suffer from almost-constant low-level anxiety

Sixes are quick and competent in a crisis… then fall apart

Sixes wait for the other shoe to drop

Sixes are rarely sure they’ve made the right decision

Fear influences all of the Six’s life choices

Sixes hate unpredictable situations and prefer order to chaos

Sixes distrust flattery or too many compliments

Sixes are slow to open up but then never leave you

Sixes are skeptical of the unknown and ask hard questions

Sixes see two sides to everything and doubt themselves

Sixes turn their anxiety into self-depreciating humor

Sixes often forget their past success and take on too much work

Enneagram Wings

6w5: are intellectual, cautious, self-controlled, introverted, and seek security through an authority figure; they feel safest in groups that share their values or belief systems; they protect their personal information and seek alone time, which exacerbates their fears; often, they over-analyze instead of act.

6w7: are entertaining, adventurous, and playful, willing to take risks for their loved ones, but always careful to have a backup plan in case the mission fails.

Phobic: these Sixes obey the rules and are loyal to authority, in whom they place their trust, are deferential to their boss and avoid conflict. They do not challenge their fears and instead stay inside ‘safe zones.’

Counter-Phobic: these Sixes are less compliant and agreeable, more inclined to actively challenge authority to provoke a counter-attack (and reveal the truth about the ‘authority’). They try to identify, target, and defeat their fears.

Under stress: Sixes act like unhealthy Threes (become workaholics, pursue material success, and hoard resources to make them feel more secure); they put on a facade of competence to dull their anxiety and impress others with how ‘together’ they are, but refuse to do anything they doubt they can succeed at or take unnecessary risks.

When feeling secure: Sixes move to the positive side of Nine, less likely to have panic attacks about what could happen, stop planning for disasters, and have less general anxiety. They become amusing, flexible, enigmatic, and energetic, and less narrow-minded or rigid in their beliefs, able to trust their instincts about other people and become less jaded.

Advice for the 6: doubt yourself less, and trust yourself more. You have more courage and strength than you know. Believe that whatever happens, you can always find a place of safety, and you can trust your friends to have your back. Rebel when necessary, not out of fear. Record your successes and read them often, to remind yourself of your previous success. Be positive about others’ ideas, instead of tearing them apart. Learn to recognize the difference between legitimate fear and free-flowing anxiety.

Influences on MBTI Types:

ISTJ: relies on extensive knowledge and research to prepare oneself for the worst, motivated through inferior Ne fears of “the great unknown”; unlikely to take risks, semi-aggressive in pointing out logical flaws; may become rigid in their belief system and traditionalist in their views.

ESTJ: a safety-first decision-maker and reluctant leader, who prepares for all possible negative outcomes and does not move forward until certain of success; may distrust and push away from their emotions, fearing they might be a source of “weakness,” leading to poor inferior Fi development (and insecurity in their relationships, which causes additional anxiety); prone to traditionalist or nationalist thinking (their ‘safe’ zone).

ISFJ: relies on extensive knowledge and research to prepare oneself for the worst, motivated through inferior Ne fears of “the great unknown”; unlikely to take risks, desperate to form emotional connections but hesitant to reveal too much personal information; extremely loyal and care giving toward those who win their trust, often uses self-depreciating humor to amuse others, but semi-detached from their feelings (over-reliant on analyzing and problem-solving with Ti).

ESFJ: takes on a mothering role in protecting and shepherding their loved ones / trying to anticipate and problem-solve any potential issues, eager to avoid risk, feels safest in familiar territory and/or with others who share their values; low Ne issues of paranoid suspicions, indecisive and second-guessing of their decisions (low Ne issues + 6 fearfulness); strong reliance on inferior Ti, but insecurity about its blind spots.

INTJ: distrustful and secretive, prone to negative idealization and/or may face high Ni conflict with 6 in trying to identify and eliminate problem areas as they go; may have trouble identifying a safe zone, and involve themselves in a rigid ideology to feel safe; pushes away from inferior Se / risk taking, overestimates how much they can accomplish at once; due to indecisiveness, may mistype as a Ne or Si type.

ENTJ: often builds their own system which enables them to feel safe, or distrusts authority other than their own; uses Se to deal with problems as they happen, but has a negative outlook on life and always prepares for the worst; may be indecisive and self-doubting, has inferior Fi issues of feeling anxious in their relationships, which combines with Ni ‘reading’ between the lines / into things overmuch.

INFJ: distrustful and secretive, prone to negative idealization and/or may face high Ni conflict with 6 in trying to identify and eliminate problem areas as they go; may have trouble identifying a safe zone, and involve themselves in a rigid ideology to feel safe; pushes away from inferior Se / risk taking, desperate to form emotional connections but hesitant to reveal too much personal information; extremely loyal and care giving toward those who win their trust, often uses self-depreciating humor to amuse others, but semi-detached from their feelings (over-reliant on analyzing and problem-solving with Ti).

ENFJ: takes on a mothering role in protecting and shepherding their loved ones / trying to anticipate and problem-solve any potential issues, eager to avoid risk, feels safest with others who share their values; uses Se to deal with problems as they happen, but has a negative outlook and always prepares for the worst; strong reliance on inferior Ti, but insecure about their relationships; may fall into a narrow ideology (Ni) to feel safe.

ESTP: far more risk-adverse and more analytical than other ESTPs, may mistype as an ISTP due to reliance on Ti, with inferior Ni struggling to identify future negative outcomes; prone to a lot of negativity about the future (and singular conclusions about it); less self-assured about their ability to wing things, prone to low-level anxiety over tert-Fe (the desire to connect to others, but uncertainty and suspicion causing detachment issues).

ISTP: intensely analytical, with frequent Ti/Ni loops (predicting the worst and preparing for it), not inclined to risk-taking, low NiFe desire to connect to a larger ideology or group who can provide security in being “right”; especially good at pointing out logical fallacies, and trusting of their ability to ‘read into’ authority figures’ motives.

ESFP: more covetous of traditionalism and rigid ideology than other ESFPs, prone to knee-jerk reactive (and often competent) impulses; less emotional and more driven to arm oneself with Te facts / logic / strong decision making, but struggles with continual self doubt, waffles on decisions once made, and feels insecure about going out on a limb alone; may cling to an ideology of the future that makes them feel safe (Ni).

ISFP: less emotional and more reliant on logic than other ISFPs, prone to Ni-looping (fear of singular negative outcomes, and then uses Te to try and effectively head them off); hard-working and responsible, but does not like additional responsibilities; may distrust their logic center, and feel safer when others agree with them. Prone to negativity and becoming secretive and withdrawn when anxious.

ENTP: quick to read beneath the surface and assign motives to authority figures, or point out flaws in proposed ideas; often indecisive, self-doubting, craves external affirmation and reassurances about their logic (tert-Fe needs); may be safety-conscious and reluctant to abandon old belief systems that root them into ‘feeling’ safe about the unknown (inferior Si); less risk-taking than other ENTPs, and more traditional / covetous of finding something, anything to cling to that seems “true.”

INTP: super-analytical and detached, wants to connect to a community through shared values (low Fe) but suspicious, distrustful, quick to read beneath the surface and assign motives to others or second-guess their relationships, often loyal to former ideologies or belief systems (faith, science, nationalism, family, etc) as their security checkpoint; will read up on many different things in order to “arm themselves for the worst.”

ENFP: quick to read beneath the surface and assign motives to authority figures, or point out flaws in proposed ideas; often indecisive, self-doubting, and distrustful of their Ne (they may not feel it is ‘practical’ in the real world) – which means over-reliance on tert-Te to problem solve, point out rational flaws in proposed ideas, and come up with worst-case scenarios instead of the usual Ne-dom optimism; may be detached from their emotions as a result of continual Ne/Te looping; may be safety-conscious and reluctant to abandon old belief systems that root them into ‘feeling’ safe about the unknown (inferior Si); less risk-taking than other ENFPs, and more traditional / covetous of finding something, anything to cling to that seems “true.”

INFP: less emotional and more reliant on logic than other INFPs, quick to read beneath the surface and assign motives to authority figures, or point out flaws in proposed ideas; often indecisive, self-doubting, and distrustful of their Ne (they may not feel it is ‘practical’ in the real world); strong Si-roots (areas in their thought process they refuse to question, challenge, or second-guess); may distrust their logic center, and feel safer when others agree with them. Prone to disappearing when anxious.

- ENFP Mod

[jerdle-typology]

Enneagram 6 (this description is known to suck)

The Six in Profile

Healthy: Able to engage others and identify with them; steadfast, earnest, and affectionate. Trust important: bonding with others, forming relationships and alliances. / Dedicated to individuals and movements in which they deeply believe. Community builders: responsible, reliable, trustworthy. Good foresight and strong organizational ability: natural troubleshooters. Hardworking and persevering, sacrificing for others; they create stability and security in their world, bringing a cooperative spirit. At Their Best: Become self-affirming, trusting of self and others, independent yet symbiotically interdependent and cooperative, as an equal. Belief in self leads to true courage, positive thinking, leadership, and rich self-expression.

Average: Start investing their time and energy into whatever they believe will be safe and stable. Organizing and structuring, they look to alliances and authorities for security and continuity. Make many commitments to others, hoping they will be reciprocated. Constantly vigilant, anticipating problems. They seek clear guidelines and feel more secure when systems and procedures are well-defined. / To resist having more demands made on them, they react against others passive-aggressively. Become evasive, indecisive, cautious, procrastinating, and ambivalent. Strong self-doubt as well as suspicion about others’ motives. Are highly reactive, anxious, and complaining, giving contradictory “mixed signals.” Internal confusion makes them react unpredictably. / To compensate for insecurities, they become belligerent, mean-spirited, and sarcastic, blaming others for problems. Highly partisan and defensive, dividing people into friends and enemies while looking for threats to their own security. Authoritarian, prejudiced, and fear-instilling to silence their own fears.

Unhealthy: Become clingingly dependent and self-disparaging, with acute inferiority feelings. Seeing themselves as helpless and incompetent, they seek out a stronger authority or belief to resolve all problems. Submissive and masochistic. / Feeling persecuted, that others are “out to get them,” they lash out and act irrationally, bringing about what they fear. Fanaticism, violence. / Hysterical, and seeking to escape punishment, they become self-destructive and suicidal. Alcoholism, drug overdoses, “skid row,” self-abasing behavior.

Key Motivations: Want to have security, to feel supported, to have the approval of others, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to defend their beliefs.

Examples: Robert F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, George Bush, Walter Mondale, Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, Candice Bergen, Gilda Radner, Patrick Swayze, Princess Diana, Julia Roberts, Phil Donahue, Jay Leno, Johnny Carson, Diane Keaton, Woody Allen, Andy Rooney, Jessica Lange, Marilyn Monroe, Oliver North, J. Edgar Hoover, Richard Nixon, Rush Limbaugh, “George Costanza,” and “Archie Bunker.”

Keep reading

[istj-hedonist]

is so-blind 6 automatically cp?

no, not automatically. especially if sp/sx and not sx/sp then phobic so-blind 6 is fairly common.

as a rule of thumb if you want to know if a 6 is phobic or counterphobic (regardless of instincts) you can look at their gut-fix8-fix -> counterphobic9-fix -> phobic1-fix -> about 50/50

there are a few exceptions depending on MBTI-type and such but it gives you a first idea

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi! I don't know if you already answered to a similar question, but could you give me some tips on how to type people in real life? Both for MBTI and Enneagram. What should I pay attention to?

I’ve answered a variation on the MBTI spotting in real life at least four times, but due to my haphazard tagging system, I can only find two links: here and here.

Enneagram spotting takes longer, unless something stands out at you.

A good rule of thumb is to watch them when they are under stress.

Gut types move to ANGER in some form.

Head types WITHDRAW (to think).

Heart types focus on HOW OTHERS RESPOND TO ME.

Gut Types:

With 1s, there will always be an emphasis on morality / doing things right / high standards / self-certainty / a whiff of superior morality and pride. Frowning on bad behavior. Giving moral reasons to do or not do things. And you will be able to tell they are angry, because there’s steam coming off the top of their head, but they will deny it. Or if they know you well, vent away from the person that is ticking them off. The 1w9 will withdraw to fume. The 1w2 may let them have it.

With 9s, other types find them too peaceful or even downright lazy, because they seem to be in no rush to do anything. They are calm. Peaceful. Like life even-keeled. You will rarely see them emotional (unless they have an assertive 8 wing which comes out to bash heads together once in awhile). They may even numb their own feelings about big things in significant ways and postpone dealing with anger or grief until they have a meltdown. They will seem to always agree with you. Or at least, never argue adamantly with you. (Again, with an 8 wing, they will more often, but it’s not their chosen MO.)

With 8s, they have a big presence in the room. Earthy. Dominating. No nonsense. This is the person you cannot bullshit, because they just give you the thousand yard stare like “uh huh, sure bud.” They push people. Tell it like it is. Do not back down. Find wimps aggravating. Intimidate people. Start arguments and fail to back down even when everyone else is eyeing the exit. They literally do not know when to STOP. They will take it too far, every time.

Head Types:

With 5s, they’re logical. Detached. Withdrawn. Analytical. But while you can see how they have set themselves up as an “expert” on something, there is much more ‘taking in’ of information than ‘giving out’ – for a long time. They doubt their ability to do things in the real world so they postpone doing anything for as long as possible. They consciously avoid doing things until they’re ready and feel competent. They will argue that it’s not time yet, or they need more life experience (while not going out and getting it), and they will amass a great deal of technical knowledge. Under stress, they tend to trust themselves more than they trust you. At their worst, they can be completely living outside reality in extreme paranoia. At their best, they know something about everything.

With 6s, they’re logical and problem-solvers, always aware of implications and intuitive in seeing how this can go wrong (keeping a bigger picture in focus) – but they are warmer and more social than the 5′s, because they want to never feel alone, and how you gain friends and through by being sociable. You will sense an undercurrent of visible anxiety, though some of them will adamantly deny it. There’s always a veneer of self-doubt and, if they have “so” in their stacking, a visible sense of “polling others for their opinions.” They can and will move forward with confidence if they have others’ support, but are guarded and suspicious, and sometimes hold tightly onto a thought process or belief system. They are also extremely inconsistent, so it may take you awhile to see them as 6′s because they are different from one day to the next. The bottom line is to look for a CONTRARIAN (someone who always takes the opposing argument).

BTW, when trying to decide between an 8 and a 6, remember the 8 is calm and in control. The 6 is the one who reacts impulsively and is therefore less stable.

With 7s, they are optimistic, cheerful, and tend to re-frame negatives into positives as a method of coping. They do not like to admit to mistakes without claiming that was a positive learning experience for them. They really do not want to talk about things that are dark, or morbid, or particularly sad, because that brings up unpleasantness – and you get the sense they are sidling toward the door. You’ll notice them constantly doing things, buying things, dreaming about going places (or going places), traveling, with a scattered focus. It’s hard for them to finish anything, so look for someone with 89 discarded hobbies.

Heart Types:

With 2s, they volunteer to serve you all the time. You get halfway through saying you want or need something and they give it to you. They go out of their way to accommodate people, above and beyond the call of duty. You will think of them as the most generous person you have ever met in your entire life… but also feel the pressure of their “meddling.” Unless they are mature, they want so much to be close to you, they can be “too much” at times. And if they have high Fe, the way they see it, your life needs improved and they can help you do that, if you would just take my advice (think Molly Weasley). Also, you will see them explode under extreme stress (moving to negative trait-only-8).

With 3s, it’s all about winning. They are social climbers, high achievers, have to be top dog, come out first. They find it hard to admit to their mistakes, and if they are unhealthy, liars who put a polish on everything about their life. Their dad wasn’t a used carpet bag salesman, he was “successfully self-employed.” They were not fired, they took “a sabbatical to re-assess their life.” They are charming. Likable. Personable. But always reminding you of what they have done, or who they are, or what they have achieved. And very focused on how others see and respond to them – because they are an image type. They have to look good. And are usually good at LOOKING good.

With 4s, look for people who make a point of being “different.” In how they look, talk, their tastes, their interests, how they act. They will often talk about how others do not understand or appreciate them. Other people have shallow tastes or easier lives. They may feel awkward and ask you if you really want them around, or see themselves as the “third wheel.” They can be melancholy and dark. It takes a long time for them to move past their feelings and they seem to get stuck the longest in sadness.

These things will usually stand out to you in some way, but it can be harder to type the people closest to you due to your own bias. If you know your type, you can use that as a framework for finding other people’s types (am I similar or different to them… and what about them drives me crazy and what doesn’t? And WHY? It can sometimes be a clash of Enneagrams).

- ENFP Mod

[funkymbtifiction]

I finally found my tritype yesterday thanks to a friend, taking a test to get a semi good gauge at where to begin with fresh eyes, and googling descriptions of each type/wing I debated. Eventually, I realized I am most likely a 6w7 4w? 1w2. Unfortunately, my Ne-loving INFP brain keeps going over things I’ve questioned in the past “but we thought we were a two! Or a three! We can’t be a four!” “We understand Clara Oswald and Allison Argent when no one else does and they’re both 216es!” (never mind the fact we also understand Poe Dameron to a T and he’s not a 216) and basically going into a meltdown, because “we don’t fear not being unique” despite relating hard core to your Four fix post. I’ve seen you post about your struggle with settling down with an enneagram type, and considering we both use Ne (and are both 6w7s), I was wondering how/if you quell those doubts if you got it right? Because I’m so ready to just sit back and enjoy the triumph, but I feel more overwhelmed than ever by everything I don’t know/everything that doesn’t fit perfectly into a box.

It’s being 6 that wants everything to fit right and neat into a little box. ;)

I was reading the chapter on 6′s from this book last night and I’ll never doubt being a core 6 again. Reading it flooded me with tremendous relief, because it was as if I wrote it without knowing I felt that way until I read it. It also offered me clarity about how I mistyped in the past, because a lot of the dynamics of the social 6 mimic Fe behaviors without the Fe mirroring tactics. (Caring how others are going to feel about your decisions, taking them into consideration when making decisions, being warm, friendly, and amiable, and having a ‘group’ of voices you consult over decisions / feelings rather than listening to my own Fi.) I could also relate to the self preservation 6 in “not liking change,” which a lot of people attribute to high Si. Turns out it’s just 6. ;)

I kind of want to just hand the book to my parents and say, “Read the 6 chapter and then you’ll 100% understand me.” =P

The secret to self-acceptance of your type is when you know enough about your core type (and tritype, tho I recommend starting smaller with your core) to start noticing 6 behaviors while you are doing them. It involves heightened self-awareness; when you reach that point, you’re on your way to genuine self-knowledge and self-improvement, since you now have the power to stop yourself from low-level attitudes.

For example, if you have sp6 and it hates / feels anxious about change, you can catch yourself being a Debbie Downer the next time someone proposes change and deliberately open yourself up to positive possibilities. Instead of saying no and arguing with it, say yes and discuss ways to make it happen. If you’re an so6 who people-pleases to keep them happy, the next time you’re tempted to do that, stop and consider whether what they’re asking from you would really make you happy or not – and if not, choose not to accommodate them in that way. If you’re an sx6 who is always chasing the next “high,” despite your fears, the next time you feel like challenging other people, step back and ask yourself if this fight is worth your time and energy.

So my answer is yes, once you know the system well enough, you can start to notice things about yourself while you are doing them, that is a product of your tritype. And the more you notice it, the more it validates your tritype, and the more settled your Ne mind will become, because it’s now focused on finding self-patterns rather than reasons you got it wrong (which, imo, is also your 6 core mucking about in your head). It’s helpful to learn the system well enough to assign motives accurately – for example, I have own doubts about my heart fix, since like you, I relate to some aspects of the 2 – but a 2 helps people out of a desire for love, and a 6 helps them out of a desire for inclusion and safety. If I honestly ask myself whether love is my motive, it isn’t. I help out of inclusion, safety, friendliness (6), duty (1) and sheer kindness (myself).

I HIGHLY recommend the linked book. I wish I’d read it sooner. (I also found out that sx-blinds often feel “strangely distant and emotionally disconnected from even close family and friends.” Like OMG, my life all makes sense now.)

- ENFP Mod

[funkymbtifiction]

The Trials and Tribulations of a Ne-dom

Most of the time, I don’t enjoy being a Ne-dom. It’s hard to self-reference, to find specific examples to back up a hunch, which means I’ll follow external (other people’s) ideas that take me away from my initial hunch – often which turns out to be the right one, later… after I have wandered down a rabbit trail.

As you know, I have waffled on my Enneagram core – thinking 6w7, considering 4w5 for all of twenty-four hours, then feeling fairly confident of 1w2. It’s been that tritype in some variation for months, but my pathetic inferior Si could not come up with specific examples of disintegration to gain me any headway in figuring out which one was dominant, and my aux-Fi isn’t that great at self-awareness. I would decide on one then question it, looking for why it wasn’t true. Embracing it, then pushing it away. Looking for the problem areas, where it doesn’t fit.

Exactly like a 6 would, in fact. :P

When I was thinking about Clara Oswald being a perfect example of a 6w7, and thinking about how she always annoyed me for reasons at the time I could not grasp, it sunk into me like a ton of bricks that my initial hunch was right.

When I first got into MBTI and started learning it, my hunch said: you’re ENFP. The more I studied and listened to other people, the more uncertain I became of being an ENFP… I let outside conclusions and ideas sway me into thinking I had to be different types, because I didn’t “fit” stereotypes for ENFPs.

When I first got into Enneagram and started learning it, my hunch said: you’re a 6w7. The more I studied and listened to other people, the more uncertain I became of being a 6w7… and I started drifting away from it, because I also did not fit the ISTJ-ish stereotypes for being a core 6.

It’s surreal to think it’s being a 6w7 that talks me out of my solid hunches, but this seems to be the case.

I now realize the reason I disliked Clara was I could see myself reflected in her on a subconscious level and I did not like it – she shows off every 6w7-ish quality I do not like about myself: bossiness, waffling, indecision, anxiety, being reactive, boredom, becoming more reckless when among friends, seeking to lean on others, and becoming anxious when asked to stand alone.

This was not a fun realization for me – in fact, I’ve spent the last several days feeling depressed about it. I’ve said in the past finding your true Enneagram can be a bit of an “ugh” because it hits you where it hurts, and man, it hit me like a 747. But it also brought my entire life into focus in a way that it has never been before – the good and bad aspects of my relationships, why I waited so long as a teenager to become independent, my strong pull toward 7 (optimism, seeking adventure, running away from negativity by focusing on new and exciting experiences, party planning to try and escape depression), but also feeling held back by my own cautious nature.

Enneagram teacher Richard Rohr said in one of his lectures that sometimes you do not begin to see your true self until your mid-30s – by then, you have changed enough, made enough mistakes and hopefully learned from them, that you are now humble enough to see yourself clearly. In my case, it’s true. I have been running away from 6w7 because it hit a little too close to home, but it is also being a 6 that pulled me away from the right answer.

A huge part of me did not want to admit this to you, dear readers. But, I want to share it out of a desire to be genuine, and to help any other indecisive, unsure 6 out there whose own nature may be leading them to doubt their initial hunch.

And who knows? Maybe now I won’t be so hard on Clara.

- ENFP Mod

[theseeker469-blog]

469 vs 459: Independent? Or very very not?

I remember reading a post somewhere saying that the main difference between these two is that the 459 is very independent whereas the 469 is very very not. I can’t find the original post, but I want to address this.

The 459 certainly is very independent, being the most withdrawn type. But this can vary to some degree. A 4w3 5w6 9w1 so/sx will probably be the least independent of the tritype, although still would be very independent. The 4w5 5w4 9w8 the most independent and erasures of this tritype.

As for the 469, I think this vary a lot more than the 459. 4w3 6w7 9w1 so/sx will be very dependant, especially with the 6 in charge. Whereas a 4w5 cp6w5 9w8 sp/sx will still need people and reassurance, but a lot less of it, especially if the 6w5 is at the bottom. The 6w5 has a very do-it-yourself attitude, along with the take it or leave it mentality of the 4w5 and more balance nature of the 9w8. Even more so if they are introverted, which is likely.

I felt like I should say something as it did not align with my experience. I’m 9w1 4w5 p6w5, so with the low 6w5 and the closeness to the 149 and 459 I’m a much more self critical, withdrawn and independent seeker.

Then how do we tell 459 and 469 apart? At the end of the day the 469, no matter how many 5 wings, needs the reassurance of others. They can’t be to sure of their own judgement, they fear get anything wrong especially when they have company. 469 may say a lot of things like “I thought maybe”, “it could be”, “that’s what I thinking so far, but I’m not too sure,” “I imagine,” “I’m not too certain, but,” “just an idea I had, I’m not too sure of it,” and if they can they will phrase the things they want to say as questions instead of statements. If you don’t do this you probably don’t have a p6. I’m not too sure if cp6 would act that way, they are unlikely for this tritype and it’s kinda hard to imagine the 9 with 6cp.

[bonafidehighfigrouch]

Key Wing Differences: Type 9

9w1:  More idealistic and rationalizing. Often spiritual and/or creative. Has strong morals, but one usually needs to observe the 9′s actions in order to determine the basics of their moral code as they are unlikely to discuss them much. To them, their values, principles, and interests are something to be cherished and upheld in their own lives rather than argued in an impersonal manner or venue. 9w1s are generally unassuming and unlikely to stir up conflicts or controversy of any kind, especially not on purpose. However, they will step into a conflict in order to mediate if need be. They draw reason from their contemplative nature and use it to keep arguments from getting out of hand. 9w1s are more likely to have a high iNtuitive function.

9w8: More down-to-earth and instinctive. Often practical and can be a bit of a curmudgeon. Embodies more of the stubborn and change-resistant aspects of Type 9. They want the freedom to do things at their own pace - “stay out of my bubble” tends to be a saying 9w8s can relate to. Despite stereotypes of Type 9 being lazy, 9w8s are often hard-working by nature as they like to ensure things in their lives are running smoothly. However, they dislike demands and expectations from outside and can become shockingly defiant or even passive-aggressive when too many are placed on them. Like the 9w1, they are also good at defusing conflicts, but rather than going into “diplomat” mode, they will be more “referee”-like (or simply shut the conflict down by asserting that they are in charge and won’t be having any of it). 9w8s are more likely to have a high Sensing function.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi, I'm ENFP core 6w7 but I have a hard time figuring out which heart and gut I have and which is second and third between 1w2, 8w7, 8w9, 2w1 2w3 4w5 and 4w3, what can I look for to find out? thanks a lot!!!

That’s… not altogether surprising. Inferior Si is pretty bad with details, Ne-dom relates to everything on some level, and core 6′s can have trouble figuring out their Enneagram tritype. 6′s and 9′s have the most trouble, out of all 9 E types.

You have to look at the head, heart, and gut instincts as separate. They are your METHOD for dealing with logic, emotion, and anger. 

(You didn’t include all of them, but if I don’t include them all, I’ll just get asked.)

GUT: Let’s say someone slanders you. What’s your GUT INSTINCT?

8′s fire back. OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOURSELF??? *uses a cannon to kill a mosquito, escalates the episode into a battle* (8w7 may keeps fighting until they win; 8w9 gets tired of it after awhile and quits)

9′s ignore the problem, and hope it goes away, since conflict – ugh. (9w1 may also think it’s a matter of pride not to sink to their shallow reactive level, hence the silence; 9w8 may get mad and blast people after all, then worry about it.)

1′s may either respond, or debate with themselves whether it’s appropriate to respond or appropriate to display their anger in that way; they might wind up keeping their mouth shut, knowing the people who REALLY know them as a good, moral person will not believe the slander anyway; or they might fear that this will damage their reputation and should be addressed in a firm, direct way. (1w2 has less problems reacting and moralizing at people than 1w9, who just wants you to go away and leave them alone, coz you’re ruining their buzz.)

Heart: how are you in your relationships? How do you react IN a relationship? What do you tend to focus on getting and giving from your partner? What’s your actual thought process?

2: if I am a nice, helpful person, I can earn their love. I can be clingy in my relationships, sometimes trying to do too much to please others. I feel disappointed when others do not “do unto me as I do unto them,” but at the same time have a hard time expressing my needs. I feel I don’t deserve to have them filled – it’s selfish to think that way or ask for things. I can clearly see what they need; why is it so hard for them to see what I need in return?? (2w3 wants both you to love them and admire them; 2w1 wants to serve because it’s the right thing to do.)

3: I work hard to keep them interested and impressed with me. I can sometimes boast about how good at things, to cover up my own insecurities. I sometimes like to name drop. It’s important to me that my partner takes me as a successful person. I will become whatever they need me to be, but I also have aspirations. I am going places. I want someone who is also going places. (3w2 wants you to admire and love them, and is more extroverted; 3w4 is more willing to look at their own flaws after reaching their goals.)

4: I’m surprised when people like me for who I am; I expected them to reject me because of *insert thing here*. I sometimes feel like I’m most in love with someone when they are gone – and less in love with them when they are here. I have a hard time looking at them and not wanting what is missing from the relationship. I’ve been accused of not appreciating what I have. But… is this all there is? I want to connect with others but don’t always feel I know how. Maybe if I stand out, if I emphasize something unique about myself, you’ll notice me. (4w3 is more outwardly aggressive and sharing of their feelings; 4w5 is more detached and analytical about their feelings.)

2′s read people’s emotions; 3′s covet approval and admiration; 4′s do neither. They deliberately take opportunities to say, “I’m not like that.”

Head: you are forced to make a major decision at work. What do you do?

5: does all the research, is indecisive and doesn’t want to be rushed, but when pushed to the wire makes a decision based on the knowledge they acquired, an what seems like a safe bet. (5w4 doesn’t consult for opinions; 5w6 does.)

6: analyzes the different possibilities, invites external input, then makes a decision based on what seems like the least-risk-taking method. Cautious and will consult others for their opinions – often reaching a conclusion first, then asking others if it seems like the right choice. (6w5 relies on knowledge also; 6w7 chooses a method that ensures they will not feel ‘trapped’ by the results, leaves an open ending for other alternatives.)

7: considers the best strategy that will require the least amount of labor, and will prevent them from eventual boredom in picking up the pieces. Not big on follow through, and hates being stuck anywhere. (7w6 is more cautious than 7w8.)

I’d suggest thinking about the last time someone crossed or insulted you, and how you reacted. Write down your reasons for doing what you did – as well as what you did, and study them independently. Did you lash out like an 8? Ignore like a 9? Seethe with indignation and try to restrain your anger like a 1? Then look at your last failed relationship. Ask yourself why it failed. How you acted. What you wanted from your partner that they did not give you. What bugged them about your decisions and behaviors. Did you pull them in like a 2? Impress them like a 3? Push them away like a 4?

I discovered I was a 4 when I realized how much, unconsciously over the years, I have always deliberately set myself out to be DIFFERENT from my peers. At 11 or 12, I saw other girls being “silly” and thought, “That’s it. I’m going to be mature and serious.” If they liked boys, I never said anything remotely gushy about boys. If they all wanted to get married one day, well, I didn’t! I’ve noticed I’m still quick to assert the differences between other people and me – especially if they try and tell me who I am. “I’m not like that.” “I don’t do that.” “No, I never feel that way.” Sometimes it’s the truth, sometimes it’s an outright lie. God forbid anyone else on the planet relates to me or is just like me. That was another clue – I could not relate to any of the heart types. And someone laughed and said, “A 4, not ‘relating’ to anything. Oh, the irony.”

So, there’s your insight into a 4, if you need it. ;)

Good luck.

As a fellow 6w7-user, I know the pain it is to find your gut and heart center. ;)

- ENFP Mod

PS: The order of the lower fixes doesn’t matter as much as getting your core type right. You should order them according to which ones influence you MOST.