A Mental Illness Blog™

boom clap the sound of my personality shattering into thousands of pieces onto the floor because it is Fragile and Not Real i only made it so that you'd love me

[heavensghost]

funny you should ask // The front bottoms

[bpdmoth]

FP: don’t worry! I won’t ever abandon you, I promise!

My BPD ass:

[rottentrauma]

Me: hey bpd what do you have there?

Bpd: a new fp!!!

Me: NO

[gingerbronson]

just girly things: 

pain

blood 

not feeling real 

bathroom floors

a knife at your spine 

marshmallows 

lucky stars

dizzy unconscious innocent 

the ghost of the man you should’ve shot when you were 7 

car window prayers

4am glitter ripped tights empty road 

counting down days 

loose baby tooth feeling 

holes to fill 

[mjalti]

having to be “mature” at a young age sucks bc you aren’t really “mature-mature” you’re a child playing at a maturity bc you don’t have the foundation to be the bigger person when conflict arrives so what you do is ignore it bc ignoring a problem and being happy about a resolution look the same to your inexperienced eyes. Then you get adults praising you for a development above your peers but you aren’t really developing. You’re stagnant. Your peers will grow up and experience things and make mistakes and grow from them but you will keep yourself in this box, ignoring things ignoring ignoring ignoring until one day you have to face the fact… it wasn’t maturity you had. It was fear. And now you’re an adult too and you make all of your choices based on an emotional risk/costs analysis bc you don’t know any emotion other than fear & you have to start healing from your own childhood by making peace that you weren’t really a mature child. You were just a child who was given too much to carry & didn’t know how to say “no”.

[plounce]

me trying to comprehend anything anyone says to me

[the-unlucky-thirteen]

Growing up neglected can mean you don’t feel like you get to be picky about who gives you attention or what kind of attention you even get, you cling onto anyone who acknowledges your existence and it can end up so painful

[traumatized-mouse]

someone: i’ll never leave / abandon you!

me: sounds fake but okay

[thedarkperidot]

Description of FP as told by a bpd individual:

If you suffer with BPD then you may have come across the term “favourite person,” or “FP” for short. It is a common setup for BPD individuals but is often mistaken for being a best friend by everyone else. ‘FP’ are individuals of whom you have a deep emotional dependence on, usually being deeply platonically in love. You may not know them well but they are a huge part of your life, and how they behave highly depends on your mood. They can be uplifting or crashing. You apologise for every small thing because you don’t want to give them any reason to go. Their company is like a drug, and you feel utterly empty without their presence. And if they do leave, it causes a big hole and perpetuates the theory of abandonment from which every BPD individual suffers with. FPs are soothing, comforting and consoling, but also dangerous, addictive and compulsive. They are more than a best friend, they are your lifeline.

[bpd-sadboi-hours]

Just gonna leave this here

[borderline-birdie]

if you’re really sad and your abandonment issues only get worse with every person you allow yourself to get close to clap your hands : )

[the-unlucky-thirteen]

Being raised without stability really fucks with your head, you’re forever trying to figure out a person’s “pattern“ to see how you have to approach them, whether they’re in a good mood and it’s safe, or if they’re in a bad mood and you have to be careful or maybe avoid them altogether, just because those who raised you could never keep a consistent emotional reaction

[vexingdelusions]

boi do i love bpd paranoia like i would be chilling comfortably and suddenly my heart would start beating fast, chest heavy, head filled with anxiety and paranoia that someone is out there to hurt me or get me

[taylormakaveli-deactivated20251]

borderline at its fucking finest

[taylormakaveli-deactivated20251]

I hate when people reblog a post about bpd and they have no idea what bpd even is lmfao.

[delug-e-deactivated20181001]

im about to NUT n - never open u - up to anyone ever again t - they just wanna use me then leave me

[traumabell]

you hadn’t stopped

[bisexualgambit]

Too depressed to be awake? Not depressed enough for a Depression Nap™? Welcome to Existential Crisis Wrapped in Blanket!

[scientia-rex]

Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by this post

[adhighdefinition]

me, trying to accept the fact that i’m mentally ill and as a result impaired in my function: but….. i’m… probably… just lazy. a bad person. i simply need to pull myself together and that’s it