Moné

Obnoxious Spirit

[bottledweed]

Welcome to my cozy home,

Spend your time here reading the crazy ramblings or getting tied up in the ongoing growing imagination garden.

I don't bite.

[bottledweed]

I searched my area at least 5 times by now, and no sight of my piercing. 🫩

[bottledweed]

There's nothing like waking up two days after a fresh nose piercing only to realize that it's gone :)

[bottledweed]

This Pain

I feel tired, you know?

That heaviness that keeps on growing,

Feeling its way up my back,

Pulling on my shoulder blades,

Dislocating my arms.

I feel tired, my body aches.

I've got this pain in my neck that won't go away no matter how much I stretch.

I turn to the left, then to the right,

I look up to the sky, then down to the ground.

I just can't catch a break

Fuck this pain, I've got-

It's all in my head,

But somehow I feel it in my body.

God I keep telling you, somebody's cursed me!!

Fuck this pain I've got, fuck this all. My body is worse for wear. And all I've got are Bible verses.

Fuck.

[free-my-mindd]

The price you pay for ignoring your gut feeling is very expensive.

[bottledweed]

20 something Butterfly

We all mature at different rates.

I was foolish, like most teens,

To believe that I could choose when to mature and that would be that.

I have matured,

But the understanding of maturity eluded me.

To mature is not simply one mind change

It is ongoing metamorphosis

Maturity comes with time,

Not age.

I must open my mind and grow,

Let the inner spirit expand its wings.

Do not sleep in your cocoon once you have made it,

There is still growing to do.

Change to make.

There is still the time you must break out,

And be constantly breaking out of your cocoon.

Constantly changing,

Adapting,

Learning,

Unfurling your wings to show off new growth, new beauty.

The cocoon is not the last stop,

Break out.

Explore.

[bottledweed]

Finding myself is a whole new experience, cause what do you mean I could have been shopping at Hobby lobby instead of Michael's for knickknacks to make my jewelry!?

[bottledweed]

Does anyone still like to write letters or is that a lost art now?

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[bottledweed]

She Won't Shut Up!

She won’t shut up!

The wind blows on a cool night,

A scent of rain can be tasted within the air.

I feel as if God is with me tonight,

He’s let his angels bless me with their light.

I can feel wings sprout out from my back,

Pretty colors of blue–

Oh how I love the color blue!

Did you know?

Tonight’s the night that I take flight!

I will soar, I will fly, and then I’ll nosedive.

Art is what I’ll become.

Red and blue mix to become one,

So shall I as I fly.

Finally, I will touch the clouds–

A wish that I had when I was a child–

Not to just see them from the airplane window,

But to feel this creation of wonder!

Tonight will be joyous!

I will be blessed with flight,

as I take my final leap into the night.

It will finally be quiet,

I will finally be at rest.

May the Earth open her arms to me and my beautiful blue wings.

[bottledweed]

I Regret You

I regret you.

The first one of many, I regret you.

Had I not been selfish and went down this path that I did, I doubt I'd be here…but I am.

And I regret it.

I regret begging God for you,

I regret ditching my family for you,

I regret talking about you all the time with my friends—

I just simply regret it all.

I know I've said that I'd never regret you… but I can't just deny this feeling.

I regret my mistake,

I regret you.

And I can wish to move on as much as I want, but of course, it takes time.

Time to feel,

Time to heal,

Time to regret,

Time to move on.

I hate how I flinch when I hear you name,

How my stomach turns and starts to hurt with each syllable of you.

I hate how you fill me with fear,

I see your eyes in my mind,

I can feel your judgment seeping in,

I can hear your poisonous words as they dig into my skin and make their way into my bloodstream.

I see you, hurting me from the outside, from far away.

I know you're hurting me, I know your hands want to strangle me, want to pick me apart,

want to pluck my eyes out,

want to smash my brains to bits—

I can smell you sometimes and it freaks me out.

My shoulders tense,

My mind wanders,

And my eyes unfocus.

I can sense your presence haunting me still.

You feel that I've hurt you and now you hate me.

That's why I'm scared to be around you….

That's why…I'm scared of you.

[bottledweed]

Sick of You

Must my heart still speak of you as you continue to wander my mind?

Must you choose to be difficult with me after years of distance?

I am sick of this dance

I am sick of my body falling prey to you,

And yet, have I not done the same, before?

Did I not plague your very thoughts and mind and hear all those years ago?

Did not I hold your heart captive like you held mine?

I am feverish with impatience!

Must my body go against my very thoughts and feelings and still remember you?

I despise you!

I denounce you!

I damn you!

In the face of God, I wail, banging my head with my fists,

For I wish to think of a stranger no more!

Must you continue this dance of torture?

Must this dance be of my undoing?

I have tried, and failed, and tried, and failed.

You mix with my blood and trickle throughout me.

How I hate what you are!

Is it not enough that we had a troubled past together?

Must you continue to slither into my life?

I am sick of being sorry.

This is of my doing.

I do not hate you.

We were once friends before the jump.

Now all I can think of is how, though our paths may cross, 

It will never be the same.

[bottledweed]

I really miss my boyfriend