@bottlered - Tumblr Blog

i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:

1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.

2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.

60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.

emmikay

60 guys only manage to stab the 1 guy 23 times: I can't fucking breathe I'm laughing too hard, you suck at this

dogpuppy

captainjonnitkessler

It's so fucking baffling to me that hospitals went back to not masking. Like good news, we have lots of empirical evidence that masking prevents infections! Now to go back to walking around this absolute petri dish of a building filled with extremely vulnerable people unmasked

cparti-mkiki

amen

feefal

Do u got any art tips

this one tweet changed my life actually.

wholeheartedsuggestions

here’s your sign to do something spontaneous

bread-pat

*combusts*

wholeheartedsuggestions

that’s one way to do it

chilewithcarnage

when the treat you treated yourself to is mid

eusexuanal

Settles down on your dashboard gingerly and with a big heaving sigh

halorvic

dominostodoomsday

@bovineblogger

growrotten

hey y’all do you want to see a dragon that i drew

growrotten

of course you do here he is

why-bless-your-heart

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"