world’s best grandpa

brambles. twenty-something. she/they.

[zuralgaa]

Shireen Baratheon

[figspits]

I really love the small detail of whitaker's comfort with santos. he cowers with everyone else and keeps himself very meek but matches santos' humor and stands a little taller with her, overall having a more relaxed demeanor.

[eurussssssssssssssss]

a trust fund dad who works no jobs, who loves his kid and never stops, with gentle hands and the heart of a fighter, hes a survivor ✨✨✨✨✨

[sadfey123]

Yall are evil 😭

[jasontodddidnothingwrong]

Batkids early adoption au except it all happens in the same night (also Bruce Wayne is an idiot)

Picture this:

Bruce goes to the circus. A tragedy occurs. He starts walking back to his car with a freshly orphaned Dick Grayson clinging to his neck. He gets there only to find...

The tires are gone. All but one, which is in the process of being removed by a scrawny street kid named Jason Todd. The boy runs.

Bruce panics. He obviously can't let this poor, obviously homeless kid run off to get crimed in Crime Alley. Bruce does the only thing he can think of: he throws Dick like a pokeball. It works, sort of. Dick catches the kid, the kid catches a concussion.

Bruce panics harder.

He bundles the kids into the back of his car and hops in the drivers seat. "Hospital," he says to himself, "I can do this. I'm Batman."

"What?" Dick says.

"What?" Jason says.

"What?" Bruce says.

THUMP. They're interrupted by the sound of someone landing bodily on the roof.

Bruce stumbles out of the car to find Tim Drake doing the family guy death pose on top of his $400,000 Mercedes. Above them, a broken fire escape squeaks a threat of more violence. Bruce is distracted by it for only a second, but when he looks back down, Tim is already upright and setting off a camera in his face.

"Hi, Batman!" Tim grins. "I knew it was you."

Bruce blinks away the stars with a sigh and opens the back door again. Tim scrambles off the roof and wanders in.

Bruce now has three childr- wait when did that one get here? Cassandra Cain is wedged into the middle seat between Dick and Jason. She smiles at him sweetly.

"Who-" Bruce begins.

Someone wings a brick at them out of nowhere. Tim narrowly avoids further head trauma only because Bruce's dad reflexes activate in time to bat (ha!) it away. Bruce turns to see a little blonde girl sprinting off. He moves to catch her, but steps on Jason's discarded tire iron; it flips up and nails him in the balls. Stephanie Brown gets away.

Bruce realises, while he's writhing pitifully on the ground, that the car still has no tires.

He calls Alfred for help.

---

Four hours, a hospital visit, a whole lot of paperwork and one long phone call to CPS later, Bruce arrives home with four emergency foster kids in tow.

Talia Al Ghul is sitting in his living room with a baby carrier.

[papayafromtv]

one of those enemy-to-caretakers Red Hood and Robin!Tim AUs but instead of being injured or getting himself into trouble or anything like that, Tim just fucking gets delirious from the flu and runs away from Batman.

like Mr I-Made-A-Fake-Uncle-To-Avoid-Adoption-Drake would 100% absolutely DETEST the idea of being sick around Bruce. the fatherly overprotectiveness? immediate benches from patrol? the awkward hovering and constant attempts at shoving lemon and honey down his throat? not a CHANCE. so i imagine upon getting sick enough that not even Tim can ignore and grind through it, his instant response to avoid such dilemmas is to just down bottles of cold medication and ‘go into hiding’.

issue is, a deliriously-high-on-cold-meds Timothy Drake is also, embarrassingly, way less able to hide how much of a Robin fanboy he is. and HIS Robin? the one he so desperately wanted to be like? the one he spent most of his pre-teen years watching with stars in his eyes? the one and only Red Hood.

it also doesn’t help that in his cold-and-medication-addled mind, the fucking Red Hood’s territory is the PERFECT place to hide from Batman. never mind the fact that Hood actively tried to kill him multiple times over the past few months, all little Timmy recognises in his state is that Crime Alley is the one boundary that Batman currently actually follows, because not even he’s stupid enough to poke THAT hornet nest, not when he can’t even figure out the guy’s identity.

this all culminates into Red Hood coming across a sick out of his mind, slightly hallucinating, majorly dehydrated and sleep deprived civilian Replacement just kinda. hunkered down in one of his local alley ways. and Jason is just like what in the goddamn fuck-

he figures out after a few minutes that no, Tim isn’t gassed or being hunted by a trafficking ring, he just has the flu and is a major fucking idiot who is hiding from Bruce. this, Jason thinks, is slightly funny. killing the kid doesn’t seem as necessary once it turns out the kid also absolutely does not want anything to do with Bruce, and it brings the whole revelation that actually maybe the Replacement really is doing the whole Robin thing begrudgingly rather than out of spite to Jason himself. there’s also the fact that if this little idiot keeps vomiting in Crime Alley streets completely publicly then eventually Bruce or Dick are going to catch wind of it and Jesus Christ that would probably start a whole turf war of miscommunication and false accusations that he does NOT want to deal with it.

the switch from enemy to caretaker happens in stages. they are as follows:

1: Jason decides to let Tim hide in an old safe house nearby until he’s well enough to piss the fuck off. Tim is off his face and isn’t even aware he’s alive, so he doesn’t really care if he gets taken to a secondary location.

2: upon bringing Tim into the apartment, Jason removes his helmet because if he’s being totally honest he stopped actively trying to hide his identity a couple weeks back, and he was like 30% running under the assumption that the bats knew already and THAT was why Bruce had specific beef with him. you know, not because of the murder or attempts on Robin’s life. because why would that matter?

3: Stalker Extraordinaire Tim Drake proves once again he is a fucking nerd by being so sick that he doesn’t recognise anything around him- until Jason’s face flashes in his eye line. at which point he instantly clocks his favourite Robin and starts deliriously fanboying and freaking the fuck out, in turn genuinely freaking Jason the fuck out too. he then runs himself ragged and passes out on Jason’s bathroom floor.

4: Jason decides this is not his problem and leaves him there.

5: five minutes later he returns, slightly guilty, to fold one towel under Tim’s head and drape another over his body. because those bathroom tiles are cold and the child is shivering. he leaves again, locking the apartment door and determining not to go back.

6: he returns 20 minutes later with the ingredients for chicken soup. he tells himself it is the ONLY nice thing he will do for the kid, as an apology for misreading Tim’s level of wanting to be Robin, and that he’d just cook some and leave it on the counter for whenever Tim wakes up.

7: Tim wakes up in Jason’s bed wrapped in blankets while Jason forces a thermometer in his mouth and tells him he needs to drink more fluids. he is confused. he honestly still thinks he’s hallucinating. he goes with it.

8: by the time Tim is well enough to recognise oh shit no this is genuinely Jason Todd hand feeding me broth, it’s been too long to naturally react. the moment has long passed. he just has to accept this. in a similar position, Jason has now been caring for Tim like his own child for the past four days and he can no longer lie to himself. he thinks the kid’s fun. both of them awkwardly decide not to question this weird bond and proceed to just… go with it. without mentioning how wild it is that they get along.

the end of this little bonding trip is Bruce and Dick going on full lockdown alert while they panic and try to figure out where the fuck their MIA Robin is because they’re like 90% sure he got kidnapped or something a week ago, why else would he go radio silent? meanwhile like 40 minutes away Tim is dusting Jason’s apartment for him while he’s out on a weapons shipment bust and his phone is firmly off because once he got well enough to realise he’d been gone a week he saw the 90+ missed calls and messages, and he’d firmly decided ‘no fuck that i am going to hang out with my cool new aloof brother Jason’ and Jason, who thinks Tim’s lack of care for the batfamily dynamic to be funnier by the minute, is like ‘yeah you can live with me for a bit ig lol’.

Tim has no plan, he just doesn’t want to explain to Batman where he’s been. Jason’s just letting this go on as long as possible because the longer Tim’s missing, the funnier the fallout will be. and also Tim just found the old Wii in one of the apartments storage boxes and Jason has been kicking the kid’s fucking ASS at Just Dance. he doesn’t want that to end just yet. the brotherly staycation must go on.

[theaceofarrows]

[broosepayne]

Evacuation

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 2

*Damian and Jason, four hours into a stakeout*

Damian: Jay, hand me the mango pieces.

Jason: *plastic crinkling* ayyy, I’m Jason again!

Damian: *snorts*

Jason: what was with that, by the way? I just showed up in Gotham and found you referring to everyone like they’re your professor. Like, that’s not a ‘you’ thing, I don’t know why you started doing that.

*audible chewing noises*

Damian: do you want the genuine honest answer?

Jason: please god do tell

Damian: so- and you aren’t allowed to laugh. but when I first came to Gotham and I showed up at the manor, father obviously had to give me a tour of the place, right?

Jason: yeah.

Damian: and they wanted to do a DNA test to check that my mother wasn’t pulling a fast one by claiming my birthright, so the first place he showed me was the cave, which was also where Tim was.

Jason: *hums*

Damian: and you know that place- the first time you went to the cave, it was wild, right?

Jason: oh, like walking into the tardis for the first time. insane.

Damian: exactly. all high-tech and shit, and I’d just come from the desert compound I’d spent my entire life in- like, my first time going into the kitchen at the manor I saw Alfred loading the dishwasher and my first thought was ‘oh my god what the fuck kind of machine is that-‘

Jason: *abrupt cackle*

Damian: -so the fucking cave for the first time? as a little desert-boy ten year old? I was a little distracted,

Jason, chuckling slightly: ok, fair,

Damian: and so I’m zoned the fuck out, looking around this cave and not paying attention to anything father’s saying, and then I finally tune back in just to hear the words ‘-ackson drake’ while he like, tries to introduce me to Tim.

Jason: *slowly starts laughing again*

Damian, raising his voice to be heard over Jason’s increasing beats of laughter: -and so I’m fucking standing there, ten years old, no clue what this kid’s first name is, and everybody’s looking at me like I’m supposed to be the one fucking talking right now, and ALL I can think of is my mother, who before she shipped me off to Gotham completely alone kept fucking telling me ‘Damian you have to be strong and show that you deserve to be the Batman’s blood son. show no weakness and take the mantle you were born to have; show no fucking hesitance.’, so I’M panicking,

Jason, still cackling: *a clap* NO I DO- I DO REMEMBER, LIKE, BACK IN THE LEAGUE-, holy shit back in the league when your only coping mechanism for not knowing the fuck was going on around you, was literally just to pretend you knew what the fuck was going on around you and bullshit till you make it,

Damian: WELL IT WAS LIKE THE ONLY FUCKING THING MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME-

Jason, through tears: -that’s why I didn’t say shit when I came back to Gotham and found you fucking, doing all this blood son bullshit! You started calling me Todd and speaking in old english and I was just like ‘bless him he’s terrified, just leave him be’

Damian: *cackles* and I did- I did appreciate you going along with it, because back when this happened I panicked and just started calling Tim ‘Drake’ because I was too embarrassed to ask him for his first name, and then by the time I heard somebody else call him Tim in passing, everybody had just assumed this was a thing I did. and I was too socially awkward to clear it up and switch back, so I just had to stick to Drake.

Jason: *wheeze* a-and Grayson?

Damian: well at first I just went along with the surname thing out of awkwardness, but then I’d gone too deep and I had no way out- AND THEN- and then Batman fucking died-

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: -and I went from being parented by the gymnastics version of the dark lord to being gentle-parented by fucking Nightwing-

Jason, choking: holy- holy shit-

Damian: do you know what it’s like to go from *gruff voice* ‘Damian we don’t fucking kill, give me the katana or I’ll put you in Arkham’ to *high pitched, sweet voice* ‘oh hey Dames, obviously I can’t stop you from killing but I really would appreciate it if we discussed all our options and came to a mature decision together on what’s best in this scenario-‘

Jason: *crying, silent wheezes*

Damian: so DURING all this I’m trying to subtly switch back to using peoples actual names, except it fucking backfired because people just assumed I was calling Richard Richard because we had that special parental mentor bond, and Tim had pissed off to- whatever he was doing in the desert for six months- getting a hysterectomy or whatever the fuck happened-

Jason, amused: hysterectomy- he lost a spleen, Dames

Damian: well whatever happened he wasn’t AROUND for me to shift to calling him Tim! and when father was back I’d made no progress and was back to square one, except this time I was stuck calling one brother Richard and the other Drake!

Jason, still laughing: and this is where I came in?

Damian: I felt BAD! I’d already taken Robin from the guy, I didn’t want him to feel like he was lesser of a brother to me than Richard. So I demoted you to Todd so he wouldn’t feel alone.

Jason: very thoughtful.

Jason: we should probably get you a therapist, dude. I think everybody forgets that when you showed up you were literally just a very confused immigrant child with no experience of normal social interaction apart from me at the league.

Damian: oh I was like, 60% into an anxiety attack consistently for the first two years I was in the city.

Jason: *snorts*

Damian: the first time I was left alone with Tim we were in the kitchen and he said ‘do you want wifi?’ and, y’no, coming from the league, barely any tech and the only normality was the concept of fighting to the death over everything, MY instinctual ten-year-old thought was ‘oh shit, wifi must be slang for brawl here, we’re about to fight’-

Jason: *laughter* you’re fucking kidding

Damian: -so I’m like, so be it, and I say ‘come on then’ and get ready to start punching, only for him to turn around and grab a piece of card stuck to the fridge and hold it out to me,

Jason: *cackles*

Damian: and he goes ‘here’s the password so you can connect, I’m assuming you have a phone or something’-which I fucking didn’t by the way, my mother gave me a shitty flip-phone to call her in emergencies but it didn’t use wifi-, and he’s holding it out to me and I had to like, subtly shift my posture out of the defensive position I’d been in-,

Jason, delirious from laughter: this is the fucking best. thing.

Damian: -and I take it from him, and he gives me this weird look like he has no idea how to communicate with me, and I was just like ‘shit I might have to kill this one, it’s the only way to get out of this interaction’.

Jason: *wheeze* if we go through the timeline, every murder attempt on Tim’s life has just been an occasion where you’ve felt socially awkward and didn’t see any other way out of conversation,

Damian: pretty much, yeah. I should have been on xanax for those first few years.

Jason: stories from your first years in Gotham are my favourite thing in the world.

*a few silent beats*

Tim: are you telling me I’ve been stuck as Drake for YEARS all because Damian’s fucking scared of social interaction?!

*crashing sound*

Jason: HOLY FUCK-

Damian: OH MY GOD I FORGOT WE WERE CONNECTED TO THE MAIN LINE-

[noirecheris3]

cass joins the batfamily early ao3 tag

[papayafromtv]

actually can we have Tim not being adopted into the batfamily and instead after his parents go broke and then die leaving him with nothing he just decides ‘well i know where the batcave is’ and starts living in the tunnels underneath Wayne manor because of the logic that he can’t get kicked out bcs 1. squatters rights and 2. whats Bruce gonna do? call the police and say ‘this guy won’t leave my secret lair. no im not Batman wdym’? and he manages to go unnoticed for like. a good fucking while. not even Alfred realises bcs wtf would he be snooping around down there for?

even better is this happens after Jason dies so Tim still becomes Robin and Bruce is so overwhelmed with grief that he literally never realises that Tim has never once used the front door to come over. he just kinda sneaks up from somewhere in the cave. he assumes that Alfred’s letting the kid in without telling him. Alfred assumes Bruce is doing the same.

Damian finds out first because that’s so much funnier. he gets to Gotham to 1. gain his birthright and meet his father and 2. do some reconnaissance/avenging of this replacement Robin that’s been the centre of Jason’s angry rants at the league for the past 6 months. he follows Tim ‘home’ and finds him fucking. golluming it up a 15 minute hike through the cave system and he’s like. wait what.

Damian, reporting back to Jason: Drake is a mole.

Jason, vindicated: like he’s working for the enemy?!

Damian, standing in front of an indignant Tim in the middle of his ‘camp’, phone pressed to his ear: no like he lives in a fucking tunnel.

Jason:

Tim, mumbling: slightly harsh,

Damian, angling his face away from the phone momentarily: i watched you dig a hole to unearth the protein bars you’d buried there.

Tim:

Jason, rapidly changing his opinion on this kid: ok actually lets not kill him because thats fucking hysterical and i want to know more-

Tim really likes living alone in the tunnels because he’s a weird little guy and he’s gotten used to the independence and lack of sun, and Damian grew up in the league where ‘wilderness training’ was monthly, mandatory, and from the age of three. so he really doesn’t see the issue in it. he just kinda shrugs and accepts his brother lives in the cave system. Jason is so delighted and amused by the vibes these two kids have going on over in Gotham (he gets video calls from Damian just. in Tim’s camp while they hang out together sometimes. Damian brings him water bottles and various sustenance offerings like he’s appealing so some ancient deity living under their house. Jason thinks it’s incredible) that he decides fuck the league, he needs to see this in person. killing the Joker is a side quest he did on the way; he really only came to see what his idiot little brothers had going on under Bruce, Dick and Alfreds nose. he visits Tim’s little cave home while waiting for his new Crime Alley apartment to be ready.

eventually Bruce and Dick are working on a case and they’re following a lead to do with a criminal escaping via cave systems that they theorise may connect to the batcave, so after Damian’s gone to bed they suit up and start searching around. they come across Damian, Tim, and the fucking Red Hood chilling around a small fire just casually eating leftovers Damian snuck down from the kitchen, just quietly enjoying each others presence in this clearly years old campsite, quietly discussing whether or not the weather will be clear enough next week to go to the new art museum together. Dick shines a flashlight at them and they all snap to attention like that scene in ratatouille where the human comes in the kitchen and the rats all freeze and look up. nobody says anything for a solid three minutes.

eventually Tim is just like “I have squatters rights. you can’t evict me.” and Red Hood nods and points at him.

Bruce, desperate to gain some kind of thread of understanding here: “Damian, you’re supposed to be in bed. …Tim, I’m actually not sure where you’re supposed to be, come to think of it, but I don’t think it’s here.”

“He just said he has squatters rights, father.” Damian responds instantly. “Keep up.”

Dick: “And does the Red Hood have squatters rights?”

“I have a gun,” Jason points out cheerfully. “Same thing, ain’t it?”

Dick and Bruce are so confused they become convinced that they’ve been dosed with something and only figure out whats going on after putting on gas masks and testing everybody’s blood.

[papayafromtv]

rewatching the under the red hood movie and i gotta say as much as i love jason’s speech to bruce about how mad he is that the joker’s still alive, i still maintain that a severely underrated speech in this movie is from ra’s when he’s talking to bruce and in essence says ‘yeah so i hired the joker to distract you which was my bad because he totally went overboard and killed your son :/ and i felt so guilty i decided not to try and fight you anymore and then i stole your son’s corpse and tried to revive him via lazarus pit so i could like. make amends. except that was also my bad because we fucked that one up real good and when he came back out BOY was he weird in the head. killed my guys and then fucking jumped out a window and we lost him. my bad. and i thought he’d died again but apparently he’s in gotham and is like. totally destroying your whole lives which again, my bad. shouldn’t have tried to help. sorry about that. i’ll just stay out of your business from now on.’ which is actually the funniest characterisation of ra’s i’ve ever seen

[hawkeyes-boy]

[philtrashnumberunus]

an ao3 interaction

[overfeeler]

emery walsh working with jack abbot/surgeons working with the pitt unit

[cursedpossums]

unrestrained summer fun

[cursedpossums]

every year around late may, without fail, this post starts getting notes again . and my little wet raw chicken breast of a brain gets puzzled. because i forget that summer is , in fact. a yearly event

[bromple]

this is their dynamic #ToMe