re: the city of montreal loving shane hollander to a maybe concerning extent, i have a deeply unserious vision.
i just know like. he could tweet the word "riot" and downtown montreal would be on fire within two hours. he would never do this! but he has the power. 3x cup winning captain and he's beautiful and niceys and fluent in french? they will move mountains for him. if he so much as just obliquely hints that management is giving him any sort of trouble literally ever, the gm has to worry about his house getting firebombed. the people do not play about captain hollander. it is life and fucking death.
so like if shane has any sort of troubles with management after he comes out, just imagine. he discusses strategy with farah and yuna and they're like some public pressure might not be a bad thing. you can't say anything about specifics, but just a little mention of where you're at, emotionally speaking. and shane says okay, i can try that. so he just very casually mentions in an interview or whatever that some internal issues w the organization have come up after he and ilya got outed, and he's always wanted to retire in montreal, but he's starting to get scared that that might not be entirely up to him anymore, but that's probably just pessimism and paranoia after the outing talking, haha. he's sure, logically, that everything will work out. it's just kind of scary.
[smash cut to downtown montreal on fire]
and he's just like holy shit. i mean i knew montreal has strong feelings about hockey and even about me, but i just thought they might bombard the metros on social media if i mentioned the organization being kinda homophobic. was NOT expecting this???? oh my god??? did i just start a riot by making sad puppy eyes at a camera during one (1) interview?????????
(ilya: i have told you your big beautiful brown eyes are powerful beyond measure. what, you didn't believe me?)
like i can't stress enough. he just was like "psst if some of you guys could send a few strongly worded emails or tweets that would maybe help me out a bit :)" and his fans went "understood. preparing our molotov cocktails now. WE RIDE AT DAWN"
so shane is trapped in his apartment going holy shit oh my god i didn't mean for this to happen???!!! what do i do?!!?? and management and ownership are having an emergency meeting as they abruptly realize that maybe capitalism and property damage matter more to them than homophobia and maybe they need to RAPIDLY restructure their whole approach to how they're handling the hollander situation. please hollander whatever you need we'll do it. please just never make the sad puppy eyes at a camera again holy fuck jesus christ they're going to burn down the gm's house.
there will be a second emergency meeting scheduled with hollander shortly, in which the gm will swear his undying loyalty and fealty to the service of shane hollander and the owners will declare that whatever he needs to keep getting cups in montreal, he can have! just let us know what you need from us hollander. and also please tweet that we are no longer making you sad. please your fans are going to rend us limb from limb and eat our hearts in the square hollander please just tweet a rainbow emoji and smiley face or something. please. hollander please
meanwhile ilya is trying to drive over to see shane to provide emotional support during all this nonsense, but montreal is on fire. theres barricades in the streets. people are yelling and waving signs and throwing things. the fucking french are so dramatic, he complains. for fuck's sake. like yes this is also exactly how he feels about shane's big beautiful brown eyes but good fucking lord.
finally he has to roll down his window like "excuse me! i am shane hollander's boyfriend and i am trying to bring him some ginger ale! can you let my fucking car pass!" and somehow this actually works. it's like when a crowd parts to let an ambulance through, but its "MOVE, ROZANOV IS BRINGING CAPITAINE HIS GINGER ALE" spreading through the crowd. shane is utterly flabbergasted when he hears about this. he doesn't even know the full extent of the power he holds