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@breaklngdown
The ballet teachers in twilight coming to work on monday finding their mirrors broken, the floor ripped out and a mutilated corpse on the ground:
okay but hold on now. because the knowledge that alice and jasper were only gone for two weeks is actually baffling to me. I know I’m not alone when I say it definitely felt like months when you read the books or even when you watch the movies and?? maybe that’s just a trick of the vampire-narration or whatever
but I have so many questions now? how fast CAN vampires run? if alice and jasper made it all the way to south america for alice to spend some time running head-long into gaps in her vision that just means she must have found nahuel and huilen REALLY damn fast. and not only that? she convinced them to help?!?? and then brought them back with her? to their potential death? IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS???
we don’t talk enough about how alice is the hero of the saga and I’ll die mad about it
alice really accomplished the impossible in two fucking weeks I need everyone around here to put some goddamn respect on her name because if it wasn’t for her everyone would be DEAD!!!!!!!
the rest of you clowns: alice and jasper were gone for 2 weeks
me, who perceives time correctly: actually they were gone for 3.5 years
every day i come a little closer to rewriting twilight
Do you understand how funny it is when you realize that Bella wanted to stay human because she thought getting dicked down by Eddie boi was the best thing in the whole world as a human
There is no way that sex with 109 year old virgin cisgendered straight boy Eddy would have been that amazing. He definitely didn’t eat her out and he probably busted the second he slipped into Bella’s WAP. Period.
James escaping the Cullens tracking him by hopping on a lil airplane to go from Vancouver to Phoenix to wreck Bella's shit
Have you ever read “The Raven Tales” stories curated by the Quileute Nation? Adding to that...SMeyer apparently used actual surnames of people from the tribe. 😶
Me reading that first sentence genuinely intrigued and wanting to go look them up vs. me reading that second sentence being this 👌🏻 close to finding meyer's stupid address
aro when edward goes to the volturi and asks to be killed:
@bellas-dumptruck-ass @lemonadebottlecap @twilightofficial I love y’all. ✨💗💖
If Maria bothers you, why does she bother you?
Is it because she created a newborn army? You better not like Victoria
Is it because she controls land full of unknowing humans? Please dislike the Volturi too
Is it because she’s not a vegetarian? Hope you’re not posting about Garrett
Is it because she drew Jasper into a war? don’t even get me started on the real ass war he was already a part of
Is it because she creates vampires? You better not be a Carlisle stan
I just want you to reflect on why you don’t like a vampire that does vampire shit in a series about vampires. Make it make sense.
Why? First of all, we’re all full of contradiction. If someone reads something and doesn’t like a character, so what? It’s literally fiction. Second, she didn’t just create an army, she murdered all of the newborns on whim for decades. And yes she drew Jasper into a war, because wrong or right the war he was in was not “let’s fight for the ability to murder as many humans as we want.” And bringing up Carlisle? Moronic. He created a family of people who had no other option except death, while Maria created hundreds of vampires simply so they could die. Taking a random fact without context to prove a point isn’t proving your point, it’s proving you don’t understand the concepts of context and characterization.
Why did my post bother you so much? Like you said, it’s literally just fiction so you could’ve just moved on. But since you’re here, you do make a great point about jasper! I feel so bad he was pulled into this fictional war that resulted in innocent lives lost :-( he really missed out on his true passion of fighting for the enslavement of Black people (you know, the very real war he was written into).
And don’t come on my post calling me fucking moronic, I bring up Carlisle because he did not receive consent for turning anyone, no one gives a shit if he was trying to fulfill his suburbia white picket fence 2.5 kids wet dream. Ends don’t justify the means when it comes to someone’s life. Some of his ‘kids’ would’ve gladly taken death instead.
You proved my point, no matter how much I dislike other twilight characters I never go into a person’s post trying to list the reasons why that character sucks. I can’t help but wonder why it always happens with Maria?
@perksofeatingbacon it’s literally canon that Carlisle turned Rosalie in hopes she would be Edwards mate. He didn’t turn her to save her. He saw a beautiful woman beaten, raped, and left for dead and thought to himself “ah, a mate for my son!” His concern was not originally for Rosalie’s well being. So don’t say bringing him up in the original post is “moronic” he turned people without consent. Period.
The Marìa “debate” wouldn’t be a problem if people were just like “oh yeah Marìa isn’t my favorite character” okay valid whatever no one is saying she has to be. But when people say she’s “evil” or a “villain” when literally the only things we know about her are coming from Jasper. We never once see her side or hear from her about anything. She is talked about by a racist confederate that was written by a racist Mormon. So any “evil” POC in Twilight need to be looked at knowing they were written by a racist.
@perksofeatingbacon
Chile let me go off for a second,
She technically did just create an army. She didn’t “murder them on a whim” most of them died in battle and the others were killed because they were no longer newborns. That’s not just “on a whim”. Stop trying to sound smart. It’s the ways of life down there hence the term “Newborn Army” ??? She literally did what she had to do to survive and surviving in that world means you had to have power and be a vampire which means being and doing, albeit morally grey, Vampire Shit. Just like everyone else.
“Wrong or right the war he was in was not “let’s fight for the ability to murder as many humans as we want.” Explain him being in the fucking Confederate Army then. He was legit fighting to keep and kill African SLAVES what are you ON?!?! She drew Jasper, a confederate into another war when he had already been in one, the civil war, fighting and killing to keep slaves and you want me to feel sorry for him?? Meanwhile the war she drew him into, while still bloody (as all wars are) was for a very different reason. This girl lost her entire fucking family, native home, security, livelyhood, had NOTHING left and was left alone. Of course she had to adapt to the ways things played around her. She wanted her home back, her rightful avengeance of her family’s death and never wanted to be put in that situation again. It wasn’t just about “killing newborns and shit lol 🤪” Shut The Fuck Up.
Bringing up Carlisle is not moronic at all. If anything is moronic it’s your sad ass attempt at making a shitty ass point without knowing all the context yourself since you wanna be condescending.
He created a coven that’s not a family sorry not sorry. of people without their fucking consent and a few of them would have actually preferred death.. one of them being a woman, a rape victim, he legit changed to be his “sons” girlfriend/wife... come on now. Don’t come at María when you defending this dumb shit. While María crated hundreds of vampires not “simply so they could die” but for an army to fight against the very fucking people who destroyed her fucking life. Whenever anyone left she let them go. So don’t fucking go there. If she wanted them to “simply die” that bad she would have killed them and not changed them. Also you saying this as if Carlilse creating vampires didn’t result in many people dying too like get the FUCK outta here.
You coming at @lemonadebottlecap for taking these random facts outta proportion and out of context to prove a point when you’re literally doing the same shit. Contradictions I see.
You literally took so much shit outta context just to defend your illogical dumbass hate on María while hypocritically stanning Carlilse and other white characters. Fuck You. None of this is proving your point either. It’s proving you literally don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about but acting as if you do so you can feel superior online because you really don’t know shit about “context and characterization”
Like you say, If someone read something about Carlilse and doesn’t like him so what? Why you gotta defend him?? Come on now. It’s literally fiction so why are you so pressed about this post? 🙃
What if vampire skin looked like opals in sunlight instead of diamonds? The colors would shift and change with movement and each individual would be conpletly unique. There are so many different colors in opals, from pastels to highly saturated ones. Also the warm colors would look a lot like flames in sunlight
Having so much color just below the surface of the skin would also provide some contrast against the cold and motionless nature of vampires. The colors would still be there, though almost unnoticeable, in lower lighting. This would still be unnerving to humans even if their eyes couldn’t quite process what was wrong with the vampires
Friendly reminder that there are 750 Quileute. Seven Hundred and Fifty. Think. For reference- how big was your middle school? (around that, maybe?) I think we tend not to understand how personal their inclusion in Twilight was. Smeyer took advantage of them. She's rich off of them and their culture. She exploited and misrepresented them. Seven hundred and fifty people. She could look each one of them in the eye and apologize in one afternoon and instead, she sits on 125 million dollars as if her hands are tied.
She could give every Quileute $50,000 each and still have $87,500,000 left over.
the year is 2020. the cullen house is shaking with the force of both heavy bass and ass-shaking as WAP plays on a 24/7 loop. there’s some whores in this house. the whores in question:
Hey do you have a link to where i can pirate midnight sun? I tried lookimg and i cant find anythimg
yes I do!
midnight sun links roundup
epub
tag I will use for any MS links I reblog
new epub link
Audio book
I also have pdf, ebup, and audio book links if these break! And the rest of the series, and a few related books and essays (like illustrated guides!) I’m keeping the link dm only to hopefully keep it up for longer! I will reupload if the links break
Does anyone know some good Twilight fics? Im bored out of my mind now that I finished midnight sun and I need to fill the void. I don’t have a preference, just any that y’all like 💕
I’ve got a whole fic recs tag you can peruse, as well as a more organized page!
i think i’m a lot funnier than i am