Ramblings Of A Bookaholic @breeveeree - Tumblr Blog

what you said was very sweet and means a lot to me but i am incapable of properly responding in any way besides “thank you so much aaaah” because i do not know how to accurately express the exact level of my gratitude to where you completely understand how much what you said meant to me without me getting even more emotional and looking like a fucking nerd: an autobiography

breeveeree

my brain: you're gonna hate yourself in the morning if you don't go to sleep

me: haha, AM I ? ;D

*morning*

me: yes

breeveeree

Yup. This is me right now.

If I leap, will I fly... or will I fall?

I should have the ability to fly....but my wings weigh more than I do and drag on the ground behind me through a field of fog and shadows. My heart flutters and I can’t breathe. There are so many things I want to try, it’s daunting to think about. But I’m stuck in the mud and I don’t know which way to turn. Do I keep trying to float? Barely holding my head above water amidst the day to day drudgery of survival? Or do I climb high to where all my dreams and potential are? It’s a risk. A blind leap off a cliff, praying that my wings will start working halfway down. It’s what I know would make me happy, but It’s so terrifying I can’t make myself turn down that road.

These 9 to 5 jobs bring in the money we need....but they’re going to kill me. I just can’t keep doing it. I have to keep the bosses happy....the customers happy....all the while manage time perfectly like an efficient happy smiling robot....and keep everything clean, pristine, and orderly. I’m juggling a million different personalities and temperaments that come at me from every direction. I want to leave, but I can’t. I really love all the people....but I’m going insane. I smile when I want to rip my hear out. I keep going when my head is pounding, my nose is running, my throat is dry, and my cough is cracking my ribs. And yet still....I get yelled at....when I know that they love and appreciate me...but still...I get yelled at...and I’m just here, barely treading water.

I wish I could risk it all and throw caution to the wind. Quit and leave....and throw myself into writing....test my mettle and see if I can shine. But adults don’t do that. They do what’s smart and safe. They take the job and follow their passion on the weekends. It takes everything I have just to keep my own house clean. To eat semi healthy and regularly. To keep my mind numb with pointless television shows so I can forget about everything I wish I could do and all things I have to juggle at work.

And yet....most people should be able to cope with this right? It’s not like I’m working 50 hour weeks just to come home to 4 kids, and a pet. I want to think that I’m capable...but what if I’m just pathetic? I’ve been kidding myself for way too long. I’m a square peg and for years I’ve been trying to fit myself into a round hole. I’ve been trying to be what people think “normal” is. I always keep a smile on my face and almost never complain. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and try to be the most thorough communicator I can, when It’s much harder for me than for most people. I try to never let my emotions get the best of me....until I can come home and cry myself to sleep. My brain is made for so much more than this. There’s a fire in me that slowly turns to ash because it has no air. No room to grow. It’s stifled by the autopilot I turn on to survive. Then the space cadet takes over....and something slips through the cracks. My brain craps out on me just for a moment....and in that moment, hell breaks loose.

I’m a prisoner on an island. I’m trapped in a tower, with one tiny window too high for me to reach. I can see the sun, the sky and the clouds...so far out of reach.

A few years back in high school, I had a project. We had to create a small magazine that was supposed to be a message for future children or something, about the time I lived in and who I was as a person. I titled it If I Leap, Will I Fly...or Will I Fall? I had these same fears to a lesser degree back then. Back then, I was just curious, If I had what it took to achieve my dreams. Then reality set in. I didn’t have time to think about my dreams. Adulthood came knocking. And now.....I remember that title. It’s so fitting, but much scarier now than I ever realized.

#Adulting #dreams #potential #fears #anxiety

quiet-nymph

Photography by EYLC on Flickr

Written by J.K. Rowling, created by Pottermore, discover your Patronus now.

I got a Calico Cat! If only this was a real thing.

#Patronus #ExpectoPatronum #HarryPotter #Pottermore #calicocat #Cat #Magic #jk rowling

thatswhenyouseesparks-deactivat

Still my favorite story from the Lord of the Rings set: Viggo Mortensen bonded so much with the horse he rode in the movies that after filming was over he bought it from its owner. If that doesn’t warm your heart I don’t know what could.

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don’t forget that he also bought arwen’s horse for her stunt rider when she couldn’t afford it awww

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#also don’t forget that for the rohirrim they put a call out for locals #bring a horse show us you can ride it and get a part in the battle scenes #and one women went out roped a wild horse and rode for a few days to set #and got to be a rider of rohan

retaliatesfirst

also sort of relevant viggo also bought the horse that costarred with him in the movie hidalgo and subsequently took the horse (tj) with him to the red carpet premier.

thefeathercloak

Also most of the Riders of Rohan are actually women because when they put out that call mostly women showed up with their horses and the costume team just stuck beards on them.

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if this isn’t the best post i don’t

swanscaptn

BONUS:

inkskinned

it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldn’t tip

anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free

and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her

and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didn’t want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said “she’s been a good waitress, though,” he said, “but just plain good isn’t worth 15%”

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damn

bluehope2013

DANG

kingofhearts709

This is still one of my favorite stories

sixpenceee

Dandelions preserved in resin.

panneshirleyarchive

applejuicepro

Love this!!

breeveeree

they are my favorite

kraftklubtrans

Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party: Chapters 1-3

nelliejellybean

so we gonna talk about this, or nah?

sineadpersaud

Um I’m very excited because We got this dress at a place where they sell used television clothing and it says “Warner brothers” on the inside tag so like did I wear the same dress as Jennifer Aniston?!!!!! Thank you for noticing this!!!!!

hulkbrogan

HOOOOLY SHIT, SINEAD.

theashleyclements

!!!

breeveeree

This is the best thing ever!

officialggf

The LIWAs - Thank You.

Wow! It was so exciting for us to discover we won the following Literary Inspired Web Series Awards in 2016, thanks to all of you who voted for us!

Best Literary Inspired Web Series

Best Actress in a Leading Role - Mandy Harmon

Best Actor in a Leading Role - Tanner Gillman

Best Actress in a Supporting Role - Abigail Snarr

Best Chemistry on Screen - Tanner Gillman and Mandy Harmon

Best Transmedia - Marie Trotter and Lucy McPhee

Best Script - Alicia Whitson, Marie Trotter, and Lucy McPhee

It is truly an honour to be able to create this show for you and we greatly appreciate you sharing the love by voting!

That being said, we want to give hearty congratulations to all of the winning and nominated shows. Making a web series is hard, often tedious work, and they deserve all the recognition and appreciation in the world for their dedication and creativity:

A huge hug to our web series kindred spirits, Project Green Gables, Lovely Little Losers, The Misselthwaite Archives, Classic Alice, Call Me Katie, From Mansfield With Love, Northbound, The New Adventures of Peter and Wendy, and Carmilla! It’s so wonderful to work among these creative geniuses to bring our beloved stories into the Internet world.

With much love,

Marie, Mandy, and Alicia

greatestvoyageinhistoryofplastic

Green Gables Fables//Project Green Gables

projectgreengables

Hey kindred spirits! We are filming truth and dare with our cast and crew soon, so we are in great need of questions and dares! You can message them through tumblr or tweet them, or comment them on the latest behind the scenes video!

Thank you, really looking forward to hearing what you have in mind!

breeveeree

Hmmmm......

dare: try to put your ankle behind your head?

Draw anything they tell you to blindfolded.

The chubby bunny challange

Create a story on the spot in 2 minutes based off of random criteria others tell you....like a setting, a creature, and an object.

Truth: Fictional crush?

How would you do in the hunger games?

Hogwarts House?

What’s the most important thing that has ever happened to you.

What would you see in the mirror of erised from Harry Potter.