JJ • 27 • TX

[opiumvampire]

back on the market which means my friends are trying to set me up with typhoid victims

[atreidespacito]

[atreidespacito]

[christianstepmoms]

The entirety of the Apollo 11 mission took up less computer storage and computation space than a single instance of Microsoft Outlook running in the background.

[pizzaback]

this is among the worst possible PR for microsoft. outlook is so shit that it fucked with the billion dollar space computer

[holdoncallfailed]

nice!

[enameledcoppergirl]

Don’t put all your eggs in one victim

[depsidase]

[aismallard]

[wanderingnelipot]

[daisyslippers]

I ❤️ pasta

[heart-cats]

[dailycatsblog]

[the-composite-doll]

Wait is that THIS cat?

IT IS

[robotdwarf]

Turns out the scheming eunuch's love for you is genuine

[naamahdarling]

She is so genuinely beautiful.

[bugmuscle]

beautiful, sexy, powerful and smart women named SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING are attempting to contact me

[papayajuan2019]

do you think salt gets mad being pinched all the time

[aleshakills]

Is there a word for occupying the space where normies think you're a freak and freaks think you're a normie?

[aleshakills]

I tell a woman with a 9 to 5 office job about the slightly niche speculative fiction novel I just finished and she goes "Oh, that's...interesting. I hadn't heard of that."

I tell a grungy chick I met at a dive bar about the same book and she kinda scoffs and goes "Okay" like I said my favorite show is Sesame Street

[forbittenromance]

together we can make this haunted house a haunted home

[sourgunk]

How it feels to walk to the bathroom while drunk at a restaurant

[javascript-official]

Part of me is really sad that they released joe Biden back into his natural habitat but I understand why it had to be done, they aren't meant to live in a zoo and the purpose has always been rehabilitation, I really hope he finds another joe Biden and the they have a very happy family :)

[rylandsgrace]

This is cinema actually

[wizardarchetypes]

THE ALI FORESHADOWING LIKE SHE’S A WIZARD THEY’RE PREPARING TO FACE AND THEYRE WARNING US ABOUT HER LIKE BARDS.

ALI IMMEDIATELY LIVING UP TO THE BALLDS SUNG ABOUT HER.

THE FACT THAT ALL OF THEIR MAGIC COMBINED DIDN’T COUNTER HER SPELL

[bubobubosibericus]

Are you americans okay???

[punkahudsonia]

Everclear is what we have instead of universal healthcare.

[themythicalcodfish]

Wound cleaner, anaesthetic, surgical instrument sterilizer, and post-surgical cleanup, all in one convenient bottle

[brendon-uries-hair]

.

[ricetrippycreeps]

[gentlemanbones]

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

[dogpuppy]