PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
One Nice Bug Per Day

Andulka

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Mike Driver
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@brighton-your-day
You are very funny id like to protect you
itās never a normal temperature anymore itās always some fucking bullshit
yesterday i made a beetle out of soda tabs and wire. we took the bus home.
Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away
posts that could have also been in a newspaper in 1910 on a slow day
number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly
I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group Iām in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that thereās vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and Iām not vegan but Iām proud that I can provide this service
Asdfghjkl her perfectly straight face and even tone throughout should win an AWARD
Tom does the foolery
Some things in ballet never change.
An Interval at the Opera - Georges Jules Victor Clairin 1843-1919
Photo by Tyler Shields
Seen today on walk peace and love on planet earth
butt types
Ā© Viktor Hertz
[February 2017] Winston, OR
Hereās a photo of a cutie patootieĀ š
Itās too hot to give a fuck that the prime minister resignedā¦again
This is almost better than finding out new info through the supernatural meme
sorry about that š«
Weird Questions
If Iām somewhere where there are Educational Personell (Museum Docents, Q&A zookeepers, Park Rangers, Public School Teachers, Professors etc.) I have a question I like to ask them:
āWhatās the weirdest question someoneās ever asked you?ā
I say weird and not Dumb becuase even buckwild questions can have important answers, but whoever I ask it too usually has to think about it for a bit, then comes out with something different every time.Ā And I love every single answer becuase it just warms my heart out there to know people are trying to understand the world a bit better, no matter how limited thier starting point. A collection of favorites so far:
Art Museum Host: āA man once asked meĀ āCan you help me find someone and if you canāt can you find someone who can?āĀ Which I always thought would be a great title for an Artwork.ā
Park Ranger:Ā āIām so glad the Japanese couple asked meĀ āIs bear spray like mosquito spray and it goes on the jacket, or on the bear?ā instead of just trying it.ā
Zookeeper:Ā āA man once pointed at the live red-tailed hawk I had out for a demo and asked meĀ āArenāt those extinct?ā We eventually figured out he meantĀ āEndangeredā but I hear that question every time I see a redtail now.ā
Primary School Teacher:Ā āAbout every other year a student asks me what part of the school I sleep in at night, because clearly I live here.Ā I tell them I sleep under the bleachers in the gym but itās actually the Nurseās office.ā
Professor:Ā āA student asked meĀ āSo how do I use this in a conversation when my aunt is wine-drunk at thanksgiving and being a jerk again?ā Which honestly is a fair question about philosophy and really changed how I teach rhetoric.ā
Natural History Docent:Ā āA woman once asked me what the difference between a Million and a Billion was.Ā Kinda pieced together that sheād just left her church for her safety, and was learning about Earthās Natural History for the first time. Nobody else was there because it had been snowing, so I walked her through the Hall Of Time and answered as many questions as I could.Ā She was bewildered, but really trying. It always struck me as a really brave thing, to try to understand all of that while fresh out of a dangerous situation. I hope it helped.ā
Forensic Scientist:Ā Ā āPeople ask me how to commit murder all the time, but if you really hate someone, stealing thier identity causes much more suffering and is a lot harder to get caught at. A guy did ask me if working at a body farm was creepy and did not like that it was ok until you learned that decayed human fingers are a deerās favorite midwinter snack.ā
Zookeeper:Ā āPeople call us becuase they think theyāve found an escaped animal all the time, or they think theyāre neighborās husky is a wolf. One guy asked me if his dog was part hyena because it had spots. But that one guy really did have a Tiger in his toolshed that one time so we try to take them seriously.ā
Meteorologist:Ā āA guy once emailed me about how hard youād have to fan a tornado to make it start spinning in the other direction and included a picture of him holding up a box fan at an approaching tornado.Ā We printed it out for the work fridge.ā
Park Ranger:Ā āI was giving a talk on the Yellowstone Supervolcano and a guy asked if, after it errupted, the earth would beĀ āhollowed outā.Ā I suppose I was just relieved that he understand that the earth isnāt flat.ā
Primarcy Shcool teacher:Ā āA student once asked me where she could sell her bones online so she could by a dog.Ā Which? Same.ā
Natural History Docent:Ā āA guy asked usĀ āIf I had a time machine, and managed to kill and cook a T-Rex, what would it have tasted like?ā and every paleontologist on staff deciced to take him seriously.Ā They did research to learn about fat distribution, and read up on culinary science to learn what flavors meat, even did chemical analysis on the bones.Ā They concluded that itād be Tough (no evidence of juicy fat pockets), bitter (carnivores tend to taste foul) and would probably kill him, because heavy metals travel up the food chain and T-Rex accumulated a lot of the cadmium that was in the dirt in the late cretaceous.Ā Wrote him a letter with our findings and he sent us back a drawing of him and his buddies cooking a T-Rex over a fire and all of them throwing up and dying, and itās my favorite drawing in the whole world.ā
āDeath by T. rex meat poisoningā is a pretty metal way to go, though
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