We Need To Talk About Mor
This has been coming for…some time but I finally lost the final scrap of chill I was pretending to have on this subject and now here we are. I haven’t even started but I have no regrets about this meta.
We need to talk about this woman because she’s one of the most selfless, compassionate, supportive, inspirational characters in this series and I’m, frankly, sick to death of the hate she attracts which, 99 times out of a 100 comes from misreading canon.
We need to talk about how she supported Rhys, alone, for three months. She was the only one who fully knew what he was dealing with. She was the only one that he confided in about his mate - the mate who was trapped in the Spring Court in love with someone who wasn’t him. Cassian and Azriel didn’t know until well after Feyre was staying with them, Amren, it’s fairly canon, noticed at that first dinner at the House of Wind.
“I landed at the Night Court, right as Mor was waiting for me, and I was so frantic, so … unhinged, that I told her everything. I hadn’t seen her in fifty years, and my first words to her were, ‘She’s my mate.’”
Mor was waiting for her cousin, the only blood family she has left that I imagine she wants anything to do with, waiting for him after probably thinking she would never see him again…And this is the first thing that he says to her. And she was waiting there for him and just let him do and say all of this despite what she was going through and then continued to be there for him through those three months and after Feyre arrived as well:
“Don’t get me started on what you did to me Under the Mountain.”Rhys went still.As still as I’d ever seen him, as still as the death now beckoning in those eyes. Then his chest began to move, faster and faster.Across the pillars towering behind him, I could have sworn the shadow of great wings spread.
He opened his mouth, leaning forward, and then stopped. Instantly, the shadows, the ragged breathing, the intensity were gone, the lazy grin returning. “We have company. We’ll discuss this later.”
Mor’s timing here is about as coincidental as Rhys turning up at Feyre’s wedding just as she starts having a panic attack and begging for someone to help her - ie it’s not coincidental in the slightest. Rhys and Feyre start fighting, Rhys starts panicking and Mor arrives to break things up and help Rhys, protect him. (she’s also there for him when he arrives with Feyre the night before) and she does this despite Rhys’s dismissiveness about it.
And as my only remaining relative,” Rhys went on, “Mor believes she is entitled to breeze in and out of my life as she sees fit.”
Mor is probably terrified of losing him again. Remember she spent fifty years without him, likely believing she would never see him again and being completely and utterly unable to do anything to save him because of a decision that he made. Yet she warmly embraces Feyre, helps her, tries to make her and Rhys’s relationship as smooth as possible, tries to help Rhys despite how he brushes her off. She’s there for him. The same way she’s there for Azriel and Cassian it’s quiet and it’s subtle and it’s not as starkly in your face as say Rhys’s interactions with Feyre but she is there, she puts everything on hold to be there when her family needs her. Every. Single. Time.
We need to talk about how much people dismiss Mor’s trauma and upbringing. They mention the incident sometimes, the part where she was brutalised by her own family, where her own father nailed a note to his daughter’s stomach that said she was now ‘someone else’s problem’ and in the same breath it’s said ‘it was 500 years ago!!!’ but then…they talk about how it still affects Cassian. But not Mor. She’s over it. Clearly.
Fandom talks about how Cassian being left to fend for himself as a bastard affects him still, they talk about the cruelty of Azriel’s brothers and what that did do him, they talk about how the murder of Rhys’s mother and sister affects him, affects all three of them. Somehow they skate over Mor, the seventeen years of emotional abuse and neglect that she endured, the trauma of what happened to her because she dared to make a choice about claiming her own independence and freedom. Somehow we manage to be utterly unable to reconcile that trauma with her current personality and very understandable flaws because it’s so much easier to just see her as an object to hate because she isn’t perfect and doesn’t behave the way we expect women to.
“I once lived in a place where the opinion of others mattered. It suffocated me, nearly broke me. So you’ll understand me, Feyre, when I say that I know what you feel, and I know what they tried to do to you, and that with enough courage, you can say to hell with a reputation.” Her voice gentled, and the tension between them all faded with it. “You do what you love, what you need.”
Mor endured what Feyre did at the Spring Court for those months following what happened Under the Mountain for seventeen years. Except that her abuse was at the hands of her family and was done for far more sinister reasons. She was kept in a cage, was restricted, was smothered by everyone around her, stripping her freedom and agency from her not as some guise of protection or love but because she needed to be kept ‘pure’ so that they could sell her to some sadistic male and have her breed for him.
We saw the effects that Tamlin’s abuse of Feyre had on her over the course of only a few months and it’s an excellent commentary on the insidious nature of abuse and what it does to a person even after they’ve left. Mor endured 17 years of this as a child, from the day she was born and yet this is something that we don’t talk about. Why? Largely because it’s perhaps not as visible as the scars the others bare because she had the courage to overcome it, to find herself and let that self be light and warm and happy and loving.
That doesn’t mean she isn’t still suffering, that doesn’t mean she isn’t still affected by what happened to her. She makes a choice, a conscious choice to fight against that, this does not mean she is better, it doesn’t mean she is not still affected, it means she made the choice to see herself as a survivor and to fight for that every day.
“There are good days and hard days for me—even now. Don’t let the hard days win.”
Mor still suffers for what she’s been through. Mor still reacts badly to returning to the Court of Nightmares ([Mor had] left after dinner, pale-faced and jumpy) she openly tells Feyre that seeing her parents, her abusers, still leaves her feeling raw. There are still hard days for her, ‘even now’, even 500 years later because trauma does not have an expiry date. The only difference is in how she chooses to respond to them, how she refuses to let them beat her any more.
“I want them to hear your story. And know that there is a special strength … ” As I spoke I realized I needed to hear it, know it, too. “A special strength in enduring such dark trials and hardships … And still remaining warm, and kind. Still willing to trust—and reach out.”
This series deals incredibly poignantly and incredibly well with many different types of abuse - Rhys’s rape and imprisonment at the hands of Amarantha is one such example, the emotional abuse Feyre suffers through her romantic relationship with Tamlin, the emotional and likely physical abuse that Lucien suffers with his friendship with Tamlin, Azriel’s past childhood abuse and trauma at the hands of his step-mother and brothers are all very much present in the story. All of these people, particularly the first three where the abuse is occurring/has occurred within the timeline of canon are suffering for what they’ve endured, are mentally and emotionally scarred by their experiences. Which is why Mor’s character and arc is so important.
She is, throughout this series, a shining example of the survivor. And I love the stereotypes that are being broken here when it comes to abuse survivors, particularly female ones. Because what generally tends to happen is that the character is shown to be cold, withdrawn, unwilling to trust, unwilling to love anyone else, harsh and sharp and then the ‘reason’ for this behaviour is shown to be an abusive, traumatic past. And yes, this likely does happen with survivors, it’s a natural response but the character of Mor becomes even more important because she very firmly states that this is not how you have to be.
Mor has been through an incredible amount of trauma and abuse and would have every right to reject people, to refuse to trust, to refuse to reach out to a broken, shattered young girl suffering from exactly the same thing she had. She doesn’t. And it’s an incredibly powerful and important statement that she doesn’t. Mor is arguably the warmest, kindest and lightest character in this series and to say that this is something that can come in spite of, and perhaps because of, all that she has endured and the choices that has led her to make is something that can’t be overstated or talked about enough.
I clung to her, trying to breathe, to think.
“You’re free,” Mor said tightly. “You’re free.”
Not safe. Not protected.
Free.
She carried me beyond the garden, into the fields, up a hill, down it, and into—into a cave—
I must have started bucking and thrashing in her arms, because she said, “You’re out; you’re free,” again and again and again as true darkness swallowed us.
It’s no accident that Mor, not Rhys, the love interest, her mate, is the one to take her out of the Spring Court. It would have been so easy to have this be another ‘knight in shining armour’ moment where the dashing prince saves the distraught heroine but this is very patently not that, very deliberately so. Mor, the survivor, the one who is likely reliving her own trauma as she does this, is the one to save Feyre here. She is the one to tell her that she got out. She is the one to tell her that she is free (and in doing so it emphasises her own freedom, her own independence, her own escape)
Rhys as Feyre’s mate, as someone suffering through what she is at the same time, as struggling to overcome a very similar darkness helps her heal, yes. They understand one another and relate to one another and one another’s traumas and experiences and that is so important. But so is Mor. Mor is important for this moment, as she tells Feyre that she is free now. Important when Feyre realises Mor will never try to influence her, will only tell her to be nothing but herself and to own that. Important because she is open with what happened to her, she tells Feyre everything, tells her how it affected her, how it still affects her and normalises this, the sharing, the trust, the ability to speak about these things because it is possible to master them. Important when she tells her that, for all her lightness, for all her healing, for all that she is better now there are still hard days, there always will be, and that’s okay.
I want to talk to, about Mor and Cassian’s relationship, because I enjoy it a lot and I think people…twist it to call out something that…isn’t really there. Because people say that Cass is still suffering for the Incident that happened all those years ago that took place after he and Mor slept together, that he still feels guilty and that his buffering of Mor and Azriel is him sacrificing himself in order to atone for his past mistakes. If that was all happening and if it was all condoned by the rest of the circle/encouraged by them then I’d agree that there’s a point to be made there. Fact is it’s not happening, Mor’s response to what Cassian did all those years ago…is gratitude.
“Cassian helped Rhys get me out. Before either had the real rank to do so. For Rhys, getting caught would have been a mild punishment, perhaps a bit of social shunning. But Cassian … he risked everything to make sure I stayed out of that court. And he laughs about it, but he believes he’s a low-born bastard, not worthy of his rank or life here. He has no idea that he’s worth more than any other male I met in that court—and outside of it. Him and Azriel, that is.”
There’s just…So much in here. Firstly the fact that Mor was forced to return to the Court of Nightmares after what happened to her. I can’t…even begin to imagine what that must have been like. It would have been like Amarantha being brought back from the dead and Rhys being told he had to return Under the Mountain to live with her again. Mor’s family brutalise her, torture her, nail a note to her body saying she’s now ‘someone else’s problem’ dump her in the Autumn Court to leave her to the whims of a sadist who abandons her for dead because she’s not even worth the time it would take to finish off, clearly. By some miracle she survives all of this and then her father has the audacity to demand her back so that she ends up in the Court of Nightmares all over again. This is…something I wish we talked about more tbh but I got sidetracked, we were discussing Cassian.
Mor is fully aware of what Cassian has done for her. And at absolutely no point here, or anywhere else in the text, does she ever imply that he should go to these lengths for her, that it’s only right, that he created this mess so he damn well better clean it up. There’s actually a distinct tone of…something close to awe in this passage, that he would do this for her, that he would risk everything for her to help her, to keep her out of that court. Because the abuse that Mor suffered there was normalised for her? This is just…what these people did, how they lived, how they treated people, this was normal. It must have taken a hell of a lot of unlearning for her to process that that was not okay so if Mor 500 years later with all of that experience reacted this way, with utter disbelief that Cass would risk so much for her, I’m thinking that 17 year old Mor was even more overwhelmed by this kindness.
Mor does not blame Cassian for what happened, Mor has never encouraged Cassian’s guilt or doubts about himself. In fact she flat out rejects each and every single one of them. ‘And he laughs about it, but he believes he’s a low-born bastard, not worthy of his rank or life here. He has no idea that he’s worth more than any other male I met in that court—and outside of it.’ This is what Mor thinks of Cassian, this is specifically what Mor thinks of Cassian in relation to what took place between them all those years ago. There is no blame here, there is no encouragement of guilt or atonement, there is no ‘mistreatment’ Mor flat out rejects Cassian’s flippancy and self-depreciation. As far as she is concerned he is ‘worth more than any other male’ she has ever met. This isn’t the mark of someone who doesn’t appreciate or fully value her friend. This isn’t the attitude of someone who is reinforcing Cassian’s guilt for their own ends. This is someone who truly and deeply loves another person with every inch of themselves and wants the best for them.
I think one of the reasons that the Inner Circle is so closely bound together is that, in each of these other people, this was the first time they had ever been shown true love and loyalty. Cassian, an unwanted bastard child was taken in by Rhys’s family, shown care and compassion. He is valued by Rhys as his army commander, given a place of honour in the running of his court and is surrounded by people he knows he would die for and who would die for him in turn. Similar for Azriel, as a bastard horrifically abused by his brothers and step-mother the circle accepts him, loves him unconditionally and wants him.
But Mor, too. I think, in a lot of ways, it’s easier to overlook Mor’s childhood and how she was seen and treated. Because she didn’t grow up in a dark cell like Az or alone in the freezing mountains like Cassian, she had a home, a palace really, she had family around her, she probably got to wear pretty dresses and attend feasts every other weekend. On the surface it looks like everything was pretty okay for her until she rebelled and was punished for it. But that discounts the effects that emotional abuse has. It’s not always obvious, it’s not always plain as day and clear to see, sometimes it comes in situations that look as though the person has everything they could ever want. But Mor’s upbringing was just as damaging and devoid of love as Cassian or Azriel’s and she is just as in need of this little found family to fulfil that as any of them.
I think Mor is so fiercely loyal to Cass, Rhys and Az because they are the first people who actually valued and cared about her. Mor was as unloved and under-valued as Cass or Az in the way she grew up. No-one in that court actually saw her as a person, no-one actually thought of her as a thinking, feeling, independent individual. She was little less than an animal with good traits that they wanted to sell to the highest bidder so that she could become a breeder for them. That was all anyone saw, they saw her power, her beauty, her desirability to a male suitor - that was the essence of her value. As soon as that was taken away, as soon as she made a choice and dared to actually be herself, her value was stripped away as well. And the only thing they could think of to do then was to beat her within an inch of her life and then call her someone else’s problem. She wasn’t even worthless when she lacked value to them she was a ‘problem’ one that they couldn’t even be bothered to solve themselves.
Cass, Azriel and Rhys actually saw her. When she went to that camp with Rhys and met them they didn’t consider her power, what kind of marriage she might make for them, they just saw her and befriended her. Azriel then saved her from the Autumn Court, went out of his way to find her after her family had thrown her away like a broken animal, brought her back, thought her worth going to that effort to save her life. Cassian and Rhys refused to let her return to her abusive normality, refused to leave her in the hands of those people again and Cassian even risked everything that he had and was to help her and she has never forgotten that, and likely will never forget it.
Cassian and Mor’s relationship is mutual, loving, and respectful as far as it’s written in canon. As she is with everyone in the circle. She loves them, she trusts them, she respects them and would do anything for them.
This is the woman who was waiting for Rhys to meet him when he came back after fifty years away. The woman who is there for Azriel every single time he comes home from a mission. The woman who welcomes Feyre into her heart and home with open arms and encourages her to heal with her strength and endurance and inspiration that it can and will get better. The woman who, with no magic at all, facing one of the most powerful magicians, millennia old, who has her in the palm of his hand, attacks him with nothing but a knife in her hand because of what he had done to Cassian’s wings. And is only stopped by the knowledge that if she doesn’t, Azriel will die and Cassian’s sacrifice will be for nothing.
Mor is the consummate, shining symbol of the survivor in these books, the light at the end of the dark tunnel the rest of the characters are trapped in, the proof that it is possible to survive, to thrive, to triumph and emerge from that darkness. She is one of the kindest, most loving and most selfless characters in this series and I am beyond tired of watching her hated on and underappreciated by this fandom. She deserves better.
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