Fuck

Idk lol 24

[irishironclad]

[downwithpeople]

you and me are going to outlive this website. you and me are going to outlive everything. one day it will just be you and me

[downwithpeople]

some people have tagged this with their various favourite fictional characters or even worse, their friends and lovers. let me be crystal fucking clear. it’s going to be you. and me.

[dwinkus]

nonlocal area code = hang up. obvious telemarketer

local area code = hang up. this one is also a telemarketer but trying to be sneaky

never answer the phone ever

[cigarettesforcats]

this is why everyone on this website is a virgin

[dwinkus]

I’m not gonna fuck the telemarketer man

[the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99]

[wizardshark]

hey can you guys keep an eye on my red explosive barrels while i go take a nap

do NOT smoke weed beside them

[blappature-executive]

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

[catgirlcastigated]

the coworker who is too maternal and has correctly identified you as the runt of the office and won’t let you eat your lunch on break so you starve quicker and die

[yellow-cat]

the small stinker spends time with me on the couch

[yellow-cat]

[yellow-cat]

the small stinker has a resting angry face

[dairypropaganda]

What if there was a movie about the nature of blood and god and survival and humanity and the way every one of us is missed, a star who's light is capable of shining even when we are long since dead because humanity is a single fighting enemy capable of defying god.

And it got made by. The freddy fazbear man.

[hagiomoto]

7pm to 10pm on a weeknight is 30 minutes

[theconcealedweapon]

[sandersstudies]

“They’re just looking for attention.”

Oh, a human being is seeking a social response? Human being, the social animal wired to make and track social connection? A human desires the vital blood that permitted their species to survive for millennia? The human being who was born completely helpless and primed in every way by nature to seek attention and help from their community?

Wow that’s crazy. How embarrassing. Humiliating even. Should we isolate them from community? Should we call Wire Mother?

[byjove]

I usually hate seeing people being stiffed for their labor but I think it’s very funny ICE agents have not been getting their $50k sign on bonus, many are still waiting for their healthcare benefits to kick in and some are complaining they haven’t been getting their paychecks. You sold your soul to the Exploiting and Abusing People Agency and they started exploiting you too? Wow. Crazy.

[kaijuno]

Cats have to put up with being picked up and getting kissies and being cradled like the little baby and it’s so funny to me because like. They chose that. They domesticated themselves

[kaijuno]

"I suppose I shall tolerate the kisses from mama and papa... it will result in my kin 2000 years from now getting treats and scratchy posts for free..."

[kaijuno]

And it will make me cry forever and ever that the first recorded cat name was "Sweetie"

[oleskyfm]

[brokenbythesirensound]

[theconcealedweapon]

They use the second amendment as a reason to openly brandish guns for no reason other than "because I can". Think of all those times when people carried assault rifles on their routine shopping trips.

Then, when someone actually uses the second amendment for its intended purpose, to fight back against a tyrannical government, those same people complain.

[mossworm]

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

[bemusedlybespectacled]

me every single week: I'll do it on the weekend!

me the entire weekend:

[dogpuppy]

[kominfyrirkattarnef]

Have you guys noticed how much the internet/technology just does not listen to you anymore? I click “don’t show this artist” on Spotify and I get recommended a music video by them on the front page. I click “skip this update” on a pop up every time I open a file organization app and it’s right back there every time. O click unsubscribe on a newsletter and it keeps showing up in my inbox!! I click “delete my account” and the next time I open the website they suggest I “reactivate”.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Power is a funny thing.