todays bird
Jules of Nature
One Nice Bug Per Day
$LAYYYTER
Cosimo Galluzzi
cherry valley forever
Sweet Seals For You, Always
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
Show & Tell
Three Goblin Art
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Not today Justin
Game of Thrones Daily
trying on a metaphor
⁂
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AnasAbdin
izzy's playlists!
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@brittieloo
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Two Towers (2002) dir. Peter Jackson.
I love the implication of Dwarves knowing neurosciences, because if anyone is going to discover that in a fantasy setting, it is definitely the people that solve issues via axe to the head.
Gimli has a thorough knowledge of the nervous system and is dating Legolas, a flat earther
yeah it’s a good song dude but it’s not Deliver Us from The Prince of Egypt
Absolutely nothing funnier than all of these
Ah, now eventually you do plan to have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello?
Jurassic Park (1993) dir. Steven Spielberg
A booked and busy king!!
@hushlittlewing i laughed so hard at this i hurt my lung 🥲
WHAT AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN FOR THIS
a tutorial on rescuing someone from an uncomfortable or dangerous situation
Damn. She did everything right. Yes, this is dangerous. But even a violent man is still human and can be outplayed. Predators rely on a pattern or routine. Disrupt the routine, and the predator freezes up. Once you disrupt them, don't give them time to develop a response. Be bold. Be decisive. Talk loud. Act fast.
How should I approach this as a man? I wouldn’t want to make her more uncomfortable but I also wouldn’t be able to physically intimidate anyone because I’m short and un-athletic.
Talking to the woman is going to be hit or miss, just because she won't know if you are an "out if the frying pan, into the fire" situation. BUT, you could still go with "thanks for waiting, you ready to go? Oh, who's this?" And if she walks with you, you can say that she looked uncomfortable. I had a guy once ask if I could help with his phone to get me away from a conversation. OR: talk to the dude. "Hey man, can you give me directions to this place? Don't I know you from somewhere?" Etc. Then she has time to escape. There are no set in stone answers, even if you don't handle it perfect, if she gets out of the situation safely, count it as a win
Thank you for the response!!
Talking to the dude works!
One of my colleagues spotted a woman facing slightly away from a man who was talking to her, who was scary close. She looked uncomfortable and made eye contact. He noticed the guy was wearing a Broncos jacket and nonchalantly passed them both by and started the sports speak to the dude, like "aw bro did you see the defense last night? Hell of a time to he a Bronco fan, right?" And stood slightly behind the guy so he had to turn away from the woman. She said a cheeky "I'm not into sports, g'night!" comment and slipped away to the elevator. The dude looked super pissed but just stalked away to his car.
What was he supposed to do, admit to bad intentions?
Sometimes you don't need to be the savior, but a distraction.
The tea is scalding.
La-HA! hit me like a fucking drug.
WAIT THIS IS A REAL PLACE????????!
guys i have BEEN to this restaurant and i just want to let you know that when you order and say like “i am grounded” the waiters have to reply “ok, you are grounded.”
i think part of the reason why i love disney’s hercules so much is that the idea of a sassy hades resounds so deeply with me as a person who has siblings. like imagine if you were rich as fuck and had to live in what’s basically the flooded basement of the entire world while your brothers fart around banging everything in sight. if i had to live in a literal swamp and listen to stories about poseidon turning into a horse to get sexy with demeter i’d probably have no fucking patience too
zeus: hey assfuck have you seen demeter’s kid
hades:
Fucking outstanding
Video transcript:
Person 1: Did you know that employees are quitting instead of giving up work from home?
Person 2: So, as someone who was not able to work from home–um, I’m in a manufacturing facility, I, that’s not an option for me. I’m in this bitch right now on a Saturday. So, really not an option.
But. I wanna be really clear that we support y'all. The people that can work from home fucking should. Cause it’s better for us too. There’s less traffic, parking’s easier, uh, there’s just, there’s less stress in the whole world which benefits everybody.
People in this plant can work from home. And when they do, I can park outside easier. And I can still get up with them by calling their phones, emailing them or whatever.
This should be normal now. This should be normal. We were told it was the new normal and they tried to take us back. Fuck that shit. Work from if you can and quit if they won’t let you.
on the one hand retail has been hell and I’m low-key angry all the time on account of having to be the mask police for the past year and change. on the other hand, everyone working from home means business has been popping off and it’s busy during the week and not just on weekends. which is Very Nice.
Where I’m at the nurses, porters and helpers have, after a year of sacrifices, told that they want a larger paycheck.
The response has mainly been, if you want a larger paycheck, find another job.
So the nurses are both on strike and quitting their jobs.
If something isn’t done, there’ll be missing 6000 nurses in 2 years.
Okay, I saw this on TikTok, and I have to say I feel 💯% better about my chubby self after this. My dude... Bless You!
Hopefully it helps others like me feel better about their thick, life saving thighs, too!😆
@angryschnauzer @nuggsmum @loricameback God does not sleep on a pillow so soft yassssss
bless this man
Image description/transcript: a thin white man with a beard is in front of a door. The screen says “Paying for tinder gold to see who likes you.”
He says: “Well let’s see what’s behind this door.” He opens the door and the phantom of the opera soundtrack plays with a spooky sound that denotes the phantom. The screen says “fat girls.” He then says “Nooooo...” and closes it
The camera cuts and a thin Black man is now in the frame. He says: Move stupid, get out of my way!
An off-screen voice says: Bro you’re a chubby chaser?
The Black man says, with a look of disgust: chubby chaser? motherfucker, I am a chubby whisperer. a chubby hunter. My pronouns are moto/moto. [his expression changes to one of reverence] have you not heard the news? first off thick thighs save lives and I will be fucking immortal. second off have you ever watched anime with a big girl? there are three snacks there: the ones you brought, the ones she brought, and her. and I guarantee there’s enough left for seconds. there’s a reason we call them party size. And third of all, have you ever hugged a big girl? every part—every part of them is squishy. God himself does not sleep on a pillow so soft! so soft. [he returns to a look of disgust] and your disdain for them is both ignorant and foolish. you’re a clooooown! [he now opens the door with a look of delight] now if you’ll excuse me— I’m comin’ baby!
end caption/ID
MY PRONOUNS?
ARE MOTO/MOTO
I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:
isn’t he beautiful
listen to the SOUND when he bites
and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them
2000 pounds of Good Boy
you get me
I honestly expected like 5 notes, what HAPPENED here
More tags on this ridiculous post:
Wait, thats the 2nd biggest crocodile? Then what does the biggest one look like?
That would be Cassius, a very old Saltwater crocodile who is estimated to be around 114 years old and lives at Marineland Melanesia in Green Island, Australia. His official measurement is 5.48 meters, which makes him the largest in captivity currently. Because Utan is only slightly smaller and much younger, (only in his 50s), he will likely break Cassius’ record eventually. But for now, Cassius holds the title:
He is NOT, however, either the largest crocodile ever captured in Australia OR the largest ever in captivity.
A slightly larger crocodile has been reported (though not yet comfirmed) to have been captured at 5.58 meters.
And while the famous Brutus of the Adelaide River was estimated to be just slightly larger than Cassius at 5.5m, he was driven out of his territory by a younger and even larger crocodile, who as a result has been given the name, The Dominator. He is estimated to be just over 6m.
This is Brutus, with an appropriate caption:
It is believed that he lost that arm in a fight with a Bull Shark.
The Bull Shark lost.
THIS is the crocodile who kicked him out. The Dominator:
And that’s STILL not the biggest.
The largest living crocodile ever reliably measured was Lolong, who for the 1.5 years between his capture and his death was the largest crocodile ever held in captivity, at a whopping 6.17 meters (20 feet 3 inches) and 1075 kg (2,370 lbs). He had been feeding on both humans and very large livestock in the Bunawan creek in Agusan del Sur in the Philippines. It took 100 people all night to drag him to shore during his capture.
And here’s why:
Also, to prevent credit from getting buried on a separate reblog, I have been informed that the above image of the crocodile with the cartoon eyes and halo was made by @rashkah! (And it is wonderful and I would like to thank him for its existence, because it perfectly captures my feelings about terrifying giant primordial reptiles.)
@theonewhocheeps
Holy fuck
As far as Brutus is concerned I was led to believe that he lost that arm when relatively young.
Since then Brutus developed a habit of hunting and eating Bull Sharks.
Here’s him with a prey.
And if you thought that you’ll be safe if you just stay out of Australia then think again!
Meet Gustave the Nile Croc.
This crocodile became almost legendary for both it’s size and the habit of hunting both livestock AND humans.
So how big is Gustave?
No one is sure. Since he was NEVER captured.
His estimated size is of at least 5,5m but some give him over 6m.
The terrifying parts are:
1) He is still growing having only about 60 years.
2) Adult crocodiles often perform a gesture of submission to him - something usually done by young crocodiles toward adults - Gustave is just THAT BIG.
3) His sheer size makes it difficult for him to catch agile prey Nile crocs tend to feed on - hence why he developed a habit of hunting either larger prey like Hippopotamus or creatures which are not good at spotting danger in the first place like livestock and humans.
And this is NOT ALL.
Gustave actually has a noticeable scars on his body - he was shot at east 3 times and stabbed with a spear or something similar at one occasion.
He lived to tell the tale - my question is:
What happened to that one dude who attacked Gustave with a spear?
*Crocodile Dundee voice* Mate, that’s not Gustave:
THIS is Gustave:
And he is the PERFECT CROCODILE. He is the perfect example of what I mean when I talk about (as I do) how the morphology of extremely large crocodiles adapts to the changing physics of their bite.
This is a typical adult Nile Crocodile:
And THIS is a god among his kind:
This is it, folks. The Final Form. THIS is what peak performance looks like.
Crocodiles and physics have an interesting relationship. Crocodiles have, by a CONSIDERABLE MARGIN, the strongest bite of any animal on Earth. EVER. Scaled up estimates (based on Nile and Saltwater crocodiles) give the extinct Deinosuchus an estimated bite force MORE THAN DOUBLE the recently updated Tyrannosaurus bite estimates. Living crocodiles have bite forces measured in the range of 5000 pounds per square inch, for an individual around 15-16 feet. It is estimated that modern crocodiles in the range of 18-20 feet would have bit forces around 7-8000 psi or more.
That’s a problem.
Because a crocodile’s skull is only designed to handle so much pressure. Go beyond that limit and the force of impact when those jaws snap shut could literally shatter their own skulls.
But evolution has spent hundreds of millions of years perfecting crocodiles, so PHYSICS ISN’T GOING TO STOP THEM. What ends up happening in the skulls of these extremely large crocodiles is they will increase dramatically in mass to compensate for the increased forces. A crocodile’s skull is almost exclusively solid bone, with only minimal space for nasal passages, a surprisingly advanced brain, and some slightly porous looking framework that helps the bone distribute the force over a larger area. The effect is by far the most pronounced in Nile crocodiles, which most regularly feed on larger prey and need to make use of all that power.
Compare, 26 inch skull:
vs 29 inch skull:
Both of those are Nile crocodile skulls (or rather, replicas thereof).
And just for fun, here are the skulls of completely different (and very extinct species), Deinosuchus:
and Purussaurus:
The bigger the crocodile (within a given species), the more massive the skull needs to be to compensate for that UNBELIEVABLE bit pressure. This is one way to see from a distance whether you are looking at a normal sized crocodile:
and a truly extraordinary individual:
One of the things about Gustave that’s so impressive is how healthy his teeth look. A lot of large crocodiles, in their old age, have very worn down and often missing teeth. They do replace them many times over a lifetime, but when they get very old this slows down. Gustave, at least in every picture taken of him, had teeth that were in very good condition.
Even crocodiles much smaller than Gustave’s reported size (probably similar in size to Dominator or Lolong) tend to have smaller or more worn teeth:
than the pinnacle of his kind:
Lolong! It means Gramps or Grandpa, because he’s a relic of an ancient world where crocs more massive than he was walked the earth. His body is on display somewhere right now though I forgot where.
Every time I see this post there’s more crocodiles. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
@laurangeblossom
THE MUMMY (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers
honest to god can't stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it's such a good example of politically driven folk music.
Lyrics:
Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, "I can give you anything you ask" "You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It's unlimited, just set me to the task."
Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, "I want houses, "I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start."
Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered 'round To admire the man whose wishes had come true
They said, "Let's hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he's been set so far apart." "Yeah, let's hear it for Jeff who has everything! 'Cause his wishes are only at the start."
Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, "Everybody's getting in my way." The genie smiled as before, "You've got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away."
Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet 'Til he finally said, "I have just one wish more." "I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore."
Well, the genie's eyes got big and sad and shiny 'Til she finally said, "Your wish is my command." And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again
So, let's hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he has set so far apart Yeah, let's hear it for Jeff, who's got everything! Every single fucking thing except a heart
