The Reblogger

20+

[transgenderer]

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

[transgenderer]

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

[librarian-raichu]

I mean. That obviously wouldn’t work for many reasons, although I do believe if you required spelunkers to wear a suicide bomb to go caving, it would not be a major deterrent.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

They'd be pissed off that the belt is too bulky and they can't squeeze through teeny tiny crevices that require you to avoid breathing until you're through or your ribs won't fit

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Personally I think we should make all spelunkers wear bulky vests like those people who tie a wooden spoon to a tiny dog's back so it can't slip through the bars of a property fence. Stop 'em from getting in those positions in the first place.

[bishopony]

my really funny and original concept

[degenezijde]

There's construction (well, mostly destruction) going on next door and I have turned into menwatchingworkers.jpg for highs like these.

[degenezijde]

Apparently I should've tagged this 'rapture' or something

[swan2swan]

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

[luimnigh]

[ladydevoir]

[luminarai]

Oh nooo I hadn’t noticed that my cat’s automatic feeder was getting low on food so as usual she dashed off when she heard the machine start but I couldn’t hear the usual sound of her food falling into the bowl so I went to look and my poor cat was just. Sitting there. Staring at her empty food bowl. Then for a second she glanced up at me then right back to her bowl with the biggest, saddest, most bewildered eyes you could ever imagine on such a small creature. I filled her bowl and the machine right away ofc but I still feel a little guilty 😭

[luminarai]

Quick artist’s rendition

[luminarai]

HOW did this get this many notes in less than 24 hours?????

Also, in case anyone was worried, rest assured mim the local void is missing no meals

[shutyourmoustache]

“No, your grandma didn’t speak in tongues, but she did sob. You called her a dipshit.”

[apathetic-revenant]

love how much of Aragorn’s initial interactions with the hobbits is just telling them not to say things

[apathetic-revenant]

aragorn: could you stop casually invoking the dread name of the ancient and terrible evil that even now follows at our very heels for FIVE MINUTES

[apathetic-revenant]

aragorn: hey I gotta take a breather can you take over the hobbit duties for a bit

gandalf: no worries got you covered

[apathetic-revenant]

Aragorn’s given up

[apathetic-revenant]

elrond: hey you can’t say that here

gandalf: you can’t tell me what to say, do I look like a hobbit to you

[elodieunderglass]

The film repositions this for comedy, but in Return of the King, there’s this scene:

Gandalf, outside the door: oh hang on, just a sec. for reasons I won’t explain; this is about to get super geopolitical. Try not to spill too many beans in front of Denethor.

Pippin: Do I have that many of them?

Denethor: right, you ignorant child! Under my skilled interrogation I shall force you to spill the beans.

Pippin: I know three things about beans and will share them (under skilled interrogation, discourses for a full hour on beans, the preparation thereof, the cultivation thereof, and the Shire’s various thoughts on beans in general)

Gandalf: (pretends to be annoyed) denethor if you wanted SENSIBLE discourse on geopolitical beans I am RIGHT HERE

Denethor, fascinated: no! I already know everything you’re about to say and I’m NOT accepting criticism at this time. And I genuinely have no idea what this guy’s going to say next - do you have ANY idea how fun that is for me

Pippin: now the classic market share of baked beans inna tin belongs to Heinz, but I myself am a Branston man, because - referencing my previous statements - if you want beans, you do NOT need to faff about with a tin opener. The decision to retain the pop-top -

Gandalf: this is unbelievable. denethor, can we -

Denethor: BZT! ✋ let him cook

(Later)

Pippin: are you mad at me for talking about beans for an hour

Gandalf: it was, in a weird way, the best move on the chessboard, and so politically savvy that it furthered three of my agendas, and was also really funny to listen to. Denethor has the long sight; he is accustomed to reading the minds and hearts of men at a long distance, these long years. Actually, maybe this has jaded him as much as anything else. To meet a mind whose umwelt, whose very nature, he has not already fully plumbed is not just an act of political obfuscation on our part; for Denethor himself, could such fresh provocation burst his stagnant social bubble, and save him from being so terminally fucking online? Might we have uncovered the potential of a Theoden thematic parallel? Much to ponder. The only unfortunate bit was that you kept freezing up and looking guilty when Denethor asked you about containers

Pippin: you said not to spill any beans and I was worried he’d trip me up

Gandalf: it is, as ever, like talking to a fucking genie with you people

[m4g0hun]

guys don't worry she saved them

[gaybichon]

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

(source)

[gaybichon]

👆 me

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[were--ralph]

Pee in a cup and leave it outside near ants - if they avoid it's probably not diabetes, if they seem interested, you might have sugar in your pee and should get checked out

what the fuck is this 1200's medical science 101

[spacecaptainglow]

As a specimen processor who checks body fluids for a living I can confirm this is a real, vaguely accurate ancient way of checking for diabetes that dates back at least to Pliny the Elder

[were--ralph]

no i know it's real but this isn't the middle ages I can literally go to the UC or ER if i need to?? why would i resort back to this

[were--ralph]

actually nvm the American healthcare system is absolutely too expensive you're right

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

it's cheap it's easy and it's free: giving urine samples to your ants

[artsekey]

[perishrepublic]

a vague sort of follow-up to my recent noelle drawing. i wanted to give kris a cute outfit too

[coff1n1997]

ofc you have blue hair and pronouns ,

[aeli-tan-art]

Zac Oyama, the man that you are 😂

[harpieisthecarpie]

i need all my non dropout mutuals to know what this is fanart of:

(beautiful work op, chefs kiss [each other])

[deusvervewrites]

Ask Game: Toga kidnaps and replaces Aizawa before day 1. By the time she’s found out and he’s freed at the end of Orientation Day, she’s already proven a better teacher by helping Izuku figure out Full Cowl.

This was not the plan. Toga was hanging out in an alley somewhere when Aizawa came by to investigate on patrol. Now, as I've mentioned before, Aizawa loses pretty much every fight he gets in, including against Toga when he expected her, so naturally she clubs him on the head and drags him back to her hideout, because nobody makes good decisions on an empty stomach.

Realizing she's abducted a Pro Hero, Toga continues to make poor decisions by deciding to impersonate him at UA. How hard can it be to teach herself how to teach?

The reason that Toga-As-Aizawa was caught so easily is because she knows nothing about Aizawa and simply emulated the teaching advice she found at the public library and also her own ideal teacher she invented in her head in Junior High. Cheerful Aizawa showing up to orientation was kind of a red flag. This is why she helps Midoriya with Full Cowling, her Teachersona helps kids feel normal about their Quirks. She was also planning on working with Aoyama, Kaminari, and Todoroki when Midnight finally gassed her.

Nedzu, upon discovering that the imposter is a child who somehow bamboozled her way into UA--and started teaching, no less--thinks this is the funniest goddamn thing he's ever seen in his life and enrolls her into 1-A.

Aizawa was not at all amused by this turn of events, resulting in him and Midnight swapping homeroom classes.

[brehaaorgana]

Greatest hits of FIFA cultural exchanges thus far:

Learning about flyovers and pyrotechnics at American games being a thing

Non-americans discovering the size of American football stadiums....for high schools in texas. Also the size of our stadiums in general.

Going to baseball games as a side treat! Lmao.

Non-americans losing their minds over "like, 100 petrol pumps," at buc-ees.

Related: Americans often forget how huge target and Walmart is.

People discovering American BBQ

Non-americans being obsessed with mid American restaurant chains like Golden Corral and Taco Bell

A lot of them really did feel god in this chile's apparently

The rightful obsession with waffle house

New understanding of American Big Drink With Ice supremacy as summer creeps in

Begrudging acceptance of mandatory water breaks during games

Americans realizing we have a Team USA and we are not, in fact, just "hosting our friends" from around the world — mostly because we won our first match and our team is decent??? Not amazing but not the worst.

Side rant: us women's football team is legendary good and we should care about that more like. Hello???

Admitting Americans are right about air conditioning

Related: the english team did warm ups in Florida RIP, and also the there's a video of the French team just being like fuck the heat, fuck the sun, this is so hot...

Americans who do not normally care about international football but fucking love a sport and cheering so we're just hyping whatever team is nearby, like we see a party and just show up and learn the chant. Like sorry many of us don't know shit about soccer but if we see a bunch of people in viking helmets or kilts or holding a bunch of flags and cheering we're game.

TAILGATING!!!!

I already said this but American yellow school bus is an international celebrity

The Scottish drank Boston dry of beer apparently, like they quadrupled what Boston normally sells for fourth of July weekend. SAM ADAMS HAD TO GET AN EMERGENCY BEER DELIVERY.

Also the English team fans got kicked out of The Londoner pub in Dallas after drinking 5,000 beers and going over max capacity lmao

Free refill drinks, tortilla chips & salsa.

So many non-americans are going to be here for the 4th of July for our 250th anniversary which is going to be great and hilarious

Non-americans discovering ranch as a beloved condiment

Non-americans understanding American obsession with hamburger now

Japan's homebase is in Texas and the cultural differences are frankly great and also the Japanese fans are SO NICE and helped clean up the stadium after a match???

All the short videos with the eagle screech (which I think is actually a hawk but whatever)