Our Tiefling Bard is known for doing things unconventionally. Be it the reason we are in combat or the reason we got out. Be it teaching goblins the language of music. Be it tackling literally every big bad and SOMEHOW succeeding in pinning each one to the ground. Be it for stopping a Beholder in its tracks with a bottle of Gut-Buster tossed into its gaping maw.
She has a plan for everything, but we never really knew how far until recently.
So backstory: Our Bard and Cleric were honorary members of a guild that was known for being very lawful because they had saved one of its members from certain doom. But, in a heroic display of vigilantism with their other party members against a power-hungry lord our Bard had a personal vendetta against, they had ruined a sting operation set up by this guild that had been years in the making. Now they just had one night to take this lord down before he fled the city at a very public party for his son.
DM as Guild Leader: “I should strip the two of you of your titles for this. We were so close to exposing him for the cruelty he has inflicted on the people of this city but in ONE NIGHT YOU MANAGED TO RUIN ALL OF IT!”
Bard: “And how did we ruin anything? We cleared out that bastard’s group of ruffians and we even took some alive to confess!”
Guild Leader: “Ha! This is a lord we are talking about. He throws money at the guards and those confessions become desperate lies to avoid the gallows. And besides, by tomorrow he and his family will have left the town until this blows over.”
Cleric: “So we get him tonight.”
Guild Master: “Not possible. They are hosting a public party for his son tonight. Invitation only. Not only that, but your shenanigans today have likely doubled the guard.”
Ranger: “So what we need is stealth.”
Bard: “No… What we need are more shenanigans.”
The party goes back to the bakery in town our bard had purchased some time ago for extra coin. She had even taken points into the Cook profession to increase profits. Once there, she uses the Clothier’s Closet spell and creates some clothes from a diamond she had. One is a noble outfit for herself and the rest are cook’s outfits.
She and her workers manage to create a very large cake with a hollow middle. The ranger and cleric got inside the cake, dressed as cooks and holding the gear we would need. Our Bard posed as the boss and our Elven Dragon Shaman (Who had maxed out Intimidation) would be her assistant.
The plan would be our Bard would pose as the owner of a fledgling service that delivered dancing women in cakes hired by either the lord or by a friend of his son. Upon encountering the guard at the gate, she managed to play her part well, insisting that she accompany the cake inside so that “someone doesn’t take a fancy to these bimbos and I lose profits for nine months.” Miraculously, they make it inside and are left alone in a room.
Dragon Shaman: “I can’t believe that worked.”
Bard: “Why wouldn’t it? Best kind of stealth is going in like you are supposed to be there.”
The Bard changes into her Noble outfit to infiltrate the guests and the Ranger notices something.
Ranger: “Wait a minute. You made enough cook’s outfits for everyone.”
Ranger: “So then why did we have to pretend to be strippers inside a cake?!”
The Bard sighs and says: “Look. I did not just spend about 120 gold setting this up to NOT see two beautiful women emerge from a giant cake!”
DM: “You know what *Bard’s Name*? Go ahead and gain 100XP for this. All of this. Just… How long have you been planning this?”
The Bard OOC: “Since I bought the bakery.”
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