buzz buzz

Seperate syscourse blog for discussion of systems, trauma, dissociation, and other neurodivergent and mental health topics. Blog ran by a strongly opinionated woman of a traumagenic DID system ✌️

[bumble-bea-sys]

Welcome to the blog!

Call me Bea. I use she/her pronouns but don't mind a little they/them.

I'm a member of a traumagenic DID system in their mid 20s. I am the only one who interacts with this blog.

I wanted to get involved in some syscourse and general system discussions, as well as discussions about trauma, dissociation, neurodivergencies (particularly autism), and other mental health and psychology topics.

My general stance on syscourse is pro endo, but you can read my posts and reblogs for more nuance to that opinion. I am not endogenic myself.

I value research and believe much more is necessary to understand plurality. I believe there needs to be more public knowledge of it and especially in the mental health field. I also look at syscourse and these discussions from not just scientific or psychological standpoint, but a philosophical one.

Anyway, be nice, and I'll be nice. I don't respond to outright hate or threats. That's not a discussion.

Bea :)

[botanical-garden-system-deactiv]

Did yall know that there are several researchers actively trying to prove DID is not a real thing? Did yall know that there are several articles in the multitude of databases I have accessed through my school that ACTIVELY try to find and prove how DID isn’t fucking real???

When people tell me, “research disagrees with ___,” I hope yall realize that many researchers dont even think we exist. They dont think you can experience multiple identities. And yes, these research articles are within the past 5 years.

There are clinical psychologists with entire practices of therapeutic professionals that treat people with a focus in trauma and dissociative disorders as “untrained” and “stupid.” Not even researchers agrees on our existence, and this is NOT something you typically see within the peer reviewed articles of any popularly discussed disorder.

Many are legitimately PEER REVIEWED ARTICLES. Just keep this in fucking mind when you start saying shit like, “But research disproves your identity.” Many researchers actively try to disprove we exist in GENERAL.

Also I have yet to find a research document stating anything yall have claimed against plurality and I have easily 50-60 hours worth of digging and researching multiple databases (APA psycINFO, APA psycTESTS, Proquest psychology collection, Sage Journals, Google Scholar through a college institution, NIH, etc.). In fact, I actually have/had a few articles discussing how we need to start re-addressing DID and approaching it as psychologists.

I can probably list off several medical journals that talk about DID, provide you with at least 30-50 different peer reviewed scholarly journals, case studies, and collections, and I can confidently say that we are STILL trying to connect dissociation and trauma research.

At most, we can say that there is a HIGH CONNECTION BETWEEN cPTSD (yes, specifically cPTSD) and DID, but people are still figuring out whether you can see examples of DID in the brain through neuroimaging (which we have figured this out some, it’s super cool) and what other disorders DID is comorbid with.

We can’t be claiming SHIT about what is or isn’t right now. I am not at all a discourse account, and I most likely will not interact with syscourse outside of this, but I AM a researcher who has spent countless hours trying to better understand DID so that I can help myself and others around me. If yall were genuinely digging, yall would realize how fucking abysmal the understanding of psychology really is, let alone disorders that are stigmatized.

I WILL engage in discussing research that I have found with peer revision because I believe this education should be free and readily available to everyone. I am NOT engaging in debates on whether you believe plurality exists outside of DID. That has not been researched or discussed enough to make any sort of claim. The real point behind research is so we can better understand our world, our brains, and our society. The best we can do right now is LISTEN to the experiences people have and MAKE research to better understand their experiences.

[bumble-bea-sys]

People really will say pro endos are "talking over trauma survivors/cdd systems" when they're just pointing out flawed arguments or correction misinformation

[botanical-garden-system-deactiv]

Whenever I see someone saying they “wish they were a system,” I don’t think: “Oh how DARE they try to mock this shit that debilitates me every day!”

I think, “I wonder what in this world could make them feel like they need to have multiple voices in their head.” I think, “Are they lonely..? Did they even have any friends whilst growing up..? Were they neglected..?”

I understand because I also felt this way as a little kid, elementary school age (5-10). **I** wanted to be less alone as a kid, so I created imaginary characters that began to separate and distinguish themselves from one another. While yes, I had some major events of trauma, my trauma was what I thought as “monotonous” or “insignificant.” I just wanted someone to talk to, someone to confide in. I didn’t feel safe telling an adult what I went through, so it was stored in another alter.

You guys are so quick to jump at someone you have no information on in any way. You don’t know how educated this person is on the complexities of DID, and you don’t know what the person went through at all.

Please stop being so harsh and aggressive towards people figuring themselves out.. you would want that grace too..

[deltoradecay]

"This actually increases dissociative barriers so you shouldn't do it!!" "Actually this DECREASES them so you SHOULD do it and you're fake if you don't!!" "This [accessibility tool] is anti recovery!!" "Naming your headmates is anti recovery!!" "Being a system isn't supposed to be fun!!" "People who are REALLY plural don't just make it known, they hide it!!" "You can't expect people to cater to you and want to learn the names of your alters!!"

Okay so actually I send out my hydreigon and he uses hyper beam.

[cookiethebirddoll]

the idea of headmates needing to be distinct is so pervasive. even in the plural community here, there feels like theres this unspoken expectation that being plural involves very distinct and discrete personality states. or at least that you should be able to make a pk that has all of your headmates. because all headmates should have a name and discrete identity apparently. i dont hate pk but it definitely reinforces that idea that systems need to be structured in a specific way

it leads to a lot of hurt. a lot of people fighting their brains to try to fit into a specific idea of plurality. or just deciding they cant be plural or that they arent plural enough

[cookiethebirddoll]

basically everyone i know who is plural can give some specific number of headmates they have and all their names. and like that's great if thats how it works for them. but i wonder how many of them are hurting themselves to categorize themselves like that

[cookiethebirddoll]

also like it's ok for the structure of your system to be unclear. its ok if you dont understand how it works. its ok if you dont even feel that system is the right word for it. theres so much diversity in how plurality presents itself and there is no such thing as not plural enough or whatever

[yersidoll]

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

The amount of times we've tried to figure out "Who the fuck is fronting" only for it to lead to in-system arguments because we're too busy focusing on "who" that we don't take the time to consider that it might be all of us or none of us or a second headspace or whatever combination of things in our brain is maddening especially with how much our brain tends to abstract concepts until it's basically impossible to describe more than "Uhhhh it's like ..a thing..." Then you pair all of that with schizophrenic spirals into trying to categorize things only to end up splitting up and abstracting more.

It doesn't matter!!!

Your headspace is your own!!!

Figure it out however you wish or not at all if you'd rather not bother!

It's your head, do whatever you want forever.

[katkina]

syscourse makes me so sad

why is everyone so mean to eachother

i'm not even endogenic but there is more than one way to be plural the mind is complex and just because something isnt what you experience doesn't mean they are lying

[singtiple]

Plurality, as conceptualized in peer-reviewed research:

Plurality, often also called multiplicity, is "having more than one self in the mind and body" (Eve & Parry, 2021).

Plurality "is not a diagnosis" (Eve, et al., 2023) and is "a broader concept than DID" (Christensen, 2022).

Plurality is "a broad term, which encompasses a range of experiences" because "people have individual conceptualizations of what it means to be ‘more than one’" (Eve, et al., 2023).

Plurality is "a term coined to be more inclusive than only that of traumagenic multiplicity" (Christensen, 2022).

Not all people who experience plurality will identify as a 'plural' or 'multiple.' Plurality is a useful umbrella term for the experience of more-than-oneness "but not necessarily a term reflective of one's identity or self-expression" (Christensen, 2022).

"[N]ot everyone who identifies as multiple will want or require mental health intervention for the condition they experience" (Eve, et al., 2023).

The concept of non-traumagenic plurality does not hurt DID research. "[T]he research confirming DID as a trauma-based disorder is doing just that: confirming traumagenic DID, the disorder, not Plurality, the identity . . . Distinguishing between the two does not need to invalidate either" (Christensen, 2022).

The idea that plurality is inherently disordered is a product of Western culture. "Within Western linear frameworks . . . there has been an emphasis on the ‘healthy self’ being integrated and whole" (Eve & Parry, 2021). "In indigenous cultures, esp. shamanic societies, a polypsychism (i.e. many selves) prevails" (Scharfetter, 2008).

Fakeclaiming and anti-endo / anti-plural rhetoric is traumatizing. "[H]aving a condition such as multiplicity that is not generally validated and recognised in a community can be, in itself, traumatic. Even if trauma does not precede the development of multiplicity, trauma-informed care would still be appropriate for many young people who seek help for multiplicity" (Parry, et al., 2021).

[pro-willo-miku]

i think the hardest part about trying to search up stuff about child development and personality integration is that the only results when i type that stuff up is DID related stuff. like why doesnt it seem to be mentioned elsewhere? why is the time of personality integration only relevant when it doesn't happen? isn't it important to know exactly when it happens? cause we know that trauma before the ages of 6-9 or maybe older can definitely cause some disturbance in whatever it is, but like. i haven't seen it properly defined, and i haven't seen how it psychologically works outside of "DID stops ur personality from integrating" and something about your hungry feeling being a "part" or whatever

[pro-willo-miku]

@ellipse-society do you have a source on the ages you're referring to with 5-6 and before 12?

[ellipse-society]

5-6 is in the DSM-5 TR.

12 is just in general the latest age given when it is defined. I'm not sure if there is a specific source on it.

[bumble-bea-sys]

Another thing, but definitely thinking about how so much of my autism and DID can mix. They talked about that as well in the video I watched too. Like, is this me being unable to read my internal cues of hunger, thirst, etc, or is this depersonalization? Am I overwhelmed by sensory input and feeling seperate from my environment because of that, or is this depersonalization? And either way, the dissociation is there as a coping tool, even just to help cope with my autism, much less whatever other trauma is piled on top. Just goes to show how this whole system thing came about for me.

[bumble-bea-sys]

Was watching a video today on DID and autism, and it definitely made me think that yeah, we need therapists and professionals who are adept at treating neurodivergencies like autism AND DID and other dissociative disorders. In large part because so many with CDDs also have autism. And I know that there are already so few professionals who can properly treat those with autism, so I can see how hard it is to find CDD professionals also adept.

[permanenteclipse]

Being an endo-supportive traumagenic/CDD system is so annoying on here I'm just talking about my own experiences but some folks are reblogging a lot from me for someone who vocally disagrees with the existence of people I care about

[permanenteclipse]

I shouldn't even have to "approve of endogenics" imo. Endogenics do not need approval. Is the implication that traumagenic systems have an authority over the gate, as if we come into this community at a higher rung of the hierarchy to begin with? Has an endogenic system ever been asked to take a stance on traumagenic systems? It would be an insolence, honestly, if I turned to endogenic systems, most of whom have been in the community building it up and consciously experiencing what being plural is like in this saneist society for YEARS longer than me, and say "Don’t worry, I as a certified traumagenic give you permission to be here" just because I found out six months ago I have a disorder I didn't know about. I’m good friends with endogenic systems. Most of them have been knowingly and openly plural for twice as long as I have or longer. An endogenic system were the first people who ever made me come to terms with my plurality and feel comfortable opening up about it. Endogenic systems are the reason I’m here too and I’m grateful. 

I also think it's outrageous to take your experience of all the harassment and exclusion you've ever faced for your disorder and look someone else in the eye and tell them "Yeah but I think you aren't like me, you're actually not real and are lying or wrong about your own lived experience" but that's besides the point

[bumble-bea-sys]

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like the CDD systems that are highly exclusive of any other variation of plurality or even plural adjacent experience seem almost, protective of the idea that only THEY can experience more than one part/personhood in their mind? And some may say they accept other cultural practices, but when it comes to anyone suggesting they may experience something similar but still different from them, there's this strong urge to totally seperate from them still. Why is that? Is it the thought that "oh these people are just children playing pretend, that's not me". It just feels very... well, I suppose the whole being traumatized thing comes into this too. Needing to feel seen and recognized and believed. I just don't think that should come at the costs of others experiences, don't think others have to get hurt to feel your pain is valid. And in fact, I would say it wouldn't even help the inner denial. Denying others exist with again, similar but still different experiences, is not going to help your own denial and difficulty accepting yourself. It's important to be able to accept yourself, your experiences, but not take others down.

[cambriancrew]

i'm just noticing that... it's a lot of the same people who were all "i'm anti endo but i wouldn't care if they just used different terms" who are suddenly anti polymind. so... so that was a lie? so you don't actually care what terms anyone uses, you just want to hate? /nay

Image description:

Maury meme that says *You said you'd be fine if nonCDD folks used different terms. The fact you're hating on polyminds proves that was a lie."

[artisticdysfunction]

so, shitty anons aside.

it's fine to want a space just for people with complex dissociative disorders.

you shouldn't say it's for EVERYONE with a complex dissociative disorder when you exclude anyone who isn't anti endo and fully traumagenic.

if you label it as a space JUST for anti endo, just traumagenic, CDD systems? that's fine to me.

if you label it as for EVERYONE with complex dissociative disorders, and then exclude anyone who isn't anti endo because you say they don't really have a complex dissociative disorder? that is fakeclaiming, and that's stupid.

if, let's say, a pro endo posts in the dissociative identity disorder tag? or a traumaendo posts in that tag? they are not automatically invading. they can have DID, too. and to say theyre invading in a space they belong in? because they do have DID? well, that's also stupid.

being specific is fine. fakeclaiming people is not.

[venomouscatfrog-deactivated2026]

"I don't mind [insert minority] so long as they aren't rude.

Do you even hear yourself

[wired-arteries]

if you claim to have DID and have ever had an ounce of fun, you are lying and should be ashamed of yourself. its a well known fact that the moment you start developing tertiary dissociation your ability for joy and whimsy is immediately viscerated. personally I have not once been jolly since i experienced all twelve of hercules' trials at age 3, subsequently splitting -13 alters (any alter count above this is fakery). Nobody else could possibly have a different experience than me so everyone else is clearly lying. Please stop the spread of this misinformation, "fun" is not a concept that is real in DID. We have to systematically weed out and cyberbully any "fun-havers" in our community to restore purity.