I watched Call Me By No Name's finale when it aired, but the subject was too heavy for me, so I sat with my conflict. I liked it. But I also hated that I liked it.
Because everything was so beautiful, but it was also so ugly.
I still have no idea what I actually have to say about it, but I will continue to state that the director gave one of the most compelling visual narratives I've seen in a while because this finale hurt me in the most beautiful ways with something as simple as flowers.
We flashed back to the first night Kotoha spent at Megumi's apartment, which is spliced with Kotoha's abuse from her mother, and the visuals start to make sense.
The blue flowers Kotoha sees are -the- flowers.
And that's one of the reasons it's difficult to write about this because the way the colors were used to reflect the tragedy was so well done, but it seems callous to appreciate all these hideous moment for their beauty.
But it's only the beginning of me being bothered by how much I adore the color coding in this show since it now makes sense why Kotoha initially wanted to harm Megumi since Megumi is all pinks and love.
Which slightly reminded Kotoha of her mother.
Then we see her mother turn dark which continues into the present when her mother showed up at the school in all black.
It makes sense why Kotoha's life resembles trash since that is where she finds comfort.
She is actually just trying to keep everything clean and safe in plastic bags.
She is trying to protect these precious items against the dirtiness of the world and what she believes is also the dirtiness of herself.
So it was a relief to see her finally take one out of those items out of it's protective bubble, especially because it was the one to witness all her trauma.
I'm also glad that this not-so-great guy turned blue and helped Kotoha out in the end.
Because it helped her gain her color back.
She has the blue color because of her mother, which is awful, but she is not dark like her mother. She is blue. Her color and her pain are hers.
And I think because of Megumi's own trauma, she keeps reaching out to Kotoha because she sees another person trying to move beyond the pain while it's still very much a part of them.
Their colors are theirs. Their pain exists.
So I liked the finale. I liked that the visual narrative emphasized that the pain changes us and lingers, but it doesn't always have to change us for the worst. That we can make the color ours.
And that we can turn trash (rings) into gold.
Because one person's trash is another person's treasure.
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