"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Not today Justin

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Jules of Nature
$LAYYYTER
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art blog(derogatory)
ojovivo

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@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du

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occasionally subtle
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@butt-quack
the world hates nocturnal girls
playground insults in 2030: dude your dad looks like ai generated gay porn
Let's fucking grab this Wednesday by the nothing
everytime i wear an outfit like this i think about this tweet
fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?
Ilya Rozanov Pride starter pack
"not so gay you can't fuck rose landry" is such a funny line Ilya baby they dated for 45 minutes and Shane immediately came crawling back to you, came out as gay, and told you he has feelings for you. being too gay to fuck rose landry is quite literally the reason he realised/accepted he's in love with you and decided to lock that down
since becoming a barista i have noticed a few very distinct typologies among my customers. such as:
the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.
sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.
evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.
sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.
evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.
errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.
grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.
#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.
schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.
amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.
this of course is not an exhaustive list but those are just some of the most consistent Types i get. ok bye xoxo
when you say something awkward and stupid in a social situation that probably no one will remember except you for the rest of time
3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh
0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎
“Hey store manager from the hit movie Elf, what is the primary group that celebrates pride month and, more importantly, when does it start?”