A Collection of Nonsense

29| he/they

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[shitboy96]

The joker sees this and thinks “oh this is just normal paving”

[sedoretu]

ohhhh so THIS is the twisted fucking cycle path

[64mpg]

i haven’t been real for a few days thinking about becoming real again soon though

[deoxoid]

his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor

[queernuck]

as the french say, merci goku

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[namethatghostling]

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

[vanillish-deactivated20211102]

[riannafinch]

somebody put this in a time capsule because it is so important that future generations see this

[kitkenk]

age regresses by 1 second to before the bullet hit me

[real-language-facts]

masquerade (noun) - a lemonade made out of masks

[raptorific]

[poprocksromance]

A cautionary tale about the growing literacy crisis

[1eos]

[trainwiz]

Bust out the crystal skull vodka and pour me a shot, bitches. We're going off the rails and we're not getting back on them.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it has come to my attention there exists a subset of reenactors who go around renaissance faires "infecting" bystanders with the Plague. i wish to thank these heroes for their service

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

yes this can come in the form of dressing up as a pack of rats and offering people "Congratulations! You've Contracted The Black Death" hand stamps, but consider also:

walking around asking people if they want to pet your rat (plushie)

going in character as a fur trader carting around a wagon full of exotic wares at competitive prices

handing people a business card containing only the printed image of a flea (and on the back, the text "uh-oh!")

cosplaying as a giant bacterium

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*hands you my business card* it contains a single drawing of a flea

*instinctively you flip it over searching for information*

[sandmandaddy69]