i think one of my personal favorite aspects of the dungeon crawler carl series is watching Carl, a cishet dude, avoid any sexual or romantic subplots with the deftness of a trained aroace.
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@bythetrain
i think one of my personal favorite aspects of the dungeon crawler carl series is watching Carl, a cishet dude, avoid any sexual or romantic subplots with the deftness of a trained aroace.
Stupid ugly statement
there's always Something going on
youtube with ublock origin experience of the 20 second gap between every video on a playlist where youtube desperately throws itself against the impervious ever-evolving uncaring face of the adblocker's wall screaming and clawing and calling PLEASE! PLEASE, OUR AD REVENUE!! DON'T YOU WANT TO SUPPORT THIS CREATOR? DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT OUR WALLETS? AND THEIRS? into the vast and empty sky before the adblocker gently raises one of its many iron-banded arms and flicks youtube away into the void just to hear its wails fade slowly into nothing
It's funny when I get the "You seem to be experiencing interruptions. Find out why" popup as if two unskippable 30-second ads wouldn't feel way more intrusive and annoying than a slight delay for a video to start.
I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.
I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend
Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (2021) // Jonny Sun (2014)
u know what i fucking love. is that it's so clear that many of us have important full time jobs. yet you can see us here on tumblr throughout the work day posting about the most unhinged shit possible. like we're really out here going to a meeting then coming back to tumblr like "shane drippy big dick bouncing on that thang" before running back to another meeting like Hi Linda yes I talked to the team earlier and we're ready to send the documents over. How was your weekend
if you put the new harry potter show on my dash in any way it's gonna be an automatic unfollow from me, guys. like. it's 2026. come the fuck on
Autistic Advice#12: Noncompliance is a liberating social skill - but it must be developed.
If youâve never been all that disobedient before, you can and should start really, really small. For example, you can wear the slightly revealing or gloriously trashy-looking garment that makes your mom roll her eyes and sigh despondently every time she sees you put it on. You will feel judged and disapproved of when you put it on, but that is fine. Your goal is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and continue with your desired behavior anyway. Saunter down the steps in that highlighter-yellow Garfield crop top with your chest hair flowing over the neckline, and harness as much courage as you can muster. Itâs okay if you feel like a beacon of sin. Just keep it moving. Your emotions are not the target here. Your behavior is. You can feel however you are feeling in the moment so long as you keep acting like youâre free. Do you have a favorite TV show that a partner or roommate vocally hates? Try watching that show around them without apologizing or defensively joining them in mocking the program. At first, you probably wonât be able to enjoy the show while in their presence. Youâll feel self-conscious about everything they find annoying or cringe-inducing about the show, and so focused on their reactions that you canât relax. Thatâs okay. Allow those feelings of embarrassment and guilt to exist and pass through you without giving up. In time, you will be able to ignore these reactions more, and enjoy the activity. You want to see the needle of discomfort moving down just a little, like Linkâs body temperature meter in Tears of the Kingdom when he puts on a breathable outfit in a hot climate. Youâre not gonna go from roiling hot to frosty cold in an instant. But after a certain point, you wonât be actively in pain anymore. Things are just gonna slowly suck less, bit by bit, until they are finally okay. Thatâs true of most major life adjustments, I find. Probably the best way to develop self-advocacy skills while growing in your distress tolerance is simply by telling other people no. Do this without explanation or hedging. Nitpicky aunt wants to hear all about your dating life? âNo, I donât want to talk about that.â Unreliable ex-friend wants you to do them the tiny favor of moving their entire home gymnasium into a new third story walk-up? âNo, Iâm not available.â Manipulative shift supervisor wants to cajole you into sticking around for another three hours to close? âNo.â As many advice columnists smarter than me have already intoned, ânoâ is a complete sentence. âNoâ requires no explanation. âNoâ is not subject to debate. âNoâ can be repeated over and over like a broken record if a disrespectful person acts like they canât hear it. And you can walk away at any time to make your ânoâ physical and impossible to argue with, when someone has proven they donât respect your boundaries.Â
you can read or listen to the full piece for free here
Feeling unsafe is not the same thing as actually being under threatâââand if we mask and people-please reflexively, we are likely treating many completely harmless situations of disagreement as if they were mortal threats. Itâs important to learn to distinguish between a situation where you have no freedom to speak up, and one where you can live authentically as yourself, and simply get more comfortable with not pleasing everyone. So in any situation where you are free to, try saying ânoâ and riding out how scary it might feel. When you first say ânoâ without explanation or apology, you will feel anxiety. Thatâs okay. In fact, you should pat yourself on the back for reaching the borders of your comfort zone. It is in this area of unfamiliar, slightly scary, yet possible action that we are able to grow. You might panic the first time you tell your spouse youâre not cooking dinner every night anymore, and heâll have to figure out the meal planning himself, or the first time you let a call from a manager go unanswered while youâre off the clock. Great! You are training your body to recognize that nothing bad happens when somebody is a little peeved at you. Youâre detaching your sense of safety from another personâs feelings, and tearing apart that enmeshment hurts the way ripping off a band-aid does.Â
#this article made me finally understand what distress tolerance is and why it would make sense to train it#but i have absolutely no idea how to apply this to my own life#none of the examples would work for me#i don't even mask well anymore i just go on autopilot when asked questions like ''is an 8 am appointment ok'' and say yes đ
My recommendation for you would be to slow down the process. If your instinct is to automatically say yes, just don't say anything for a second. It's okay if the moment feels awkward. It's not a weird thing to stop for a moment and think. You can even say "I need a moment to think about that." when someone throws you a question or recommends a course of action that you aren't sure how you feel about.
If those options fail, and you still reflexively say yes, you get to change your mind! You can call back and say "I need to change the time for an appointment." You can text your friend and say "Actually, I decided I don't want to see that slasher movie, sorry." You are allowed to speak up after the fact! That is just as legitimate! If you can't access your feelings in the heat of the moment, give yourself some time and space, and then do what you wanna do.
I agree!
âItâs important to learn to distinguish between a situation where you have no freedom to speak up, and one where you can live authentically as yourself, and simply get more comfortable with not pleasing everyone.â
This can be genuinely difficult, and itâs something Iâm still trying to figure out. I ended up making two lists: one with my people-pleasing traits, and one with my authentic traits. Having behaviors written out helped me to decide which of my authentic traits can be considered personality quirks, and which ones I need to hide around family or at work. Turns out I still have some freedom to be myself, even in situations where I have no freedom to speak up.
required reading for autistic folks
After attacking Iran, Israel has closed all crossings into Gaza, shutting off humanitarian aid and escalating the dire humanitarian crisis facing Palestinians.
Gaza is under siege, and the price of staples has climbed tremendously. Community kitchens have been forced to close due to lack of supplies, and have been unable to afford to replenish their stocks.
Gaza Soup Kitchen is a grassroots organization that uses money from global donors to feed thousands of people every day. Their most recent campaign was to provide food parcels for Ramadan, and they are going to struggle to keep people fed in the midst of this new, horrifying war.
If you are able to, consider donating money to Gaza Soup Kitchen through their GoFundMe or GiveButter accounts to help stave off hunger in the midst of this chaos.
Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? (Celeste Davis, Oct 6 2024)
"White flight is a term that describes how white people move out of neighborhoods when more people of color move in.
White flight is especially common when minority populations become the majority. That neighborhood then declines in value.
Male flight describes a similar phenomenon when large numbers of females enter a profession, group, hobby or industryâthe men leave. That industry is then devalued.
Take veterinary school for example:
In 1969 almost all veterinary students were male at 89%.
By 1987, male enrollment was equal to female at 50%.
By 2009, male enrollment in veterinary schools had plummeted to 22.4%
A sociologist studying gender in veterinary schools, Dr. Anne Lincoln says that in an attempt to describe this drastic drop in male enrollment, many keep pointing to financial reasons like the debt-to-income ratio or the high cost of schooling.
But Lincolnâs research found that âmen and women are equally affected by tuition and salaries.â
Her research shows that the reason fewer men are enrolling in veterinary school boils down to one factor: the number of women in the classroom.
For every 1% increase in the proportion of women in the student body, 1.7 fewer men applied.
One more woman applying was a greater deterrent than $1000 in extra tuition! (âŠ)
Since males had dominated these professions for centuries, you would think they would leave slowly, hesitantly or maybe linger at 40%, 35%, 30%, but thatâs not what happens.
Once the tipping point reaches majority female- the men flee. And boy do they flee!
Itâs a slippery slope. When the number of women hits 60% the men who are there make a swift exit and other men stop joining.
Morty Schapiro, economist and former president of Northwestern University has noticed this trend when studying college enrollment numbers across universities:
âThereâs a cliff you fall off once you become 60/40 female/male. It then becomes exponentially more difficult to recruit men.â
Now weâve reached that 60% point of no return for colleges.
As weâve seen with teachers, nurses and interior design, once an institution is majority female, the public perception of its value plummets.
Scanning through Reddit and Quora threads, many men seem to be in agreement - college is stupid and unnecessary.
A waste of time and money. Youâre much better off going into the trades, a tech boot camp or becoming an entrepreneur. No need for college. (âŠ)
When mostly men went to college? Prestigious. Aspirational. Important.
Now that mostly women go to college? Unnecessary. De-valued. A bad choice. (âŠ)
School is now feminine. College is feminine. And rule #1 if you want to safely navigate this world as a man? Avoid the feminine.
But we donât seem to want to talk about that."
very good tags from @downwarddnaspiral
literally saw this tweet this morning
I saw a dude say with his whole chest that biology isn't really STEM
Take a wild fucking guess as to which major has the most female students
Scientific disciplines with more women have lower funding success rates and researcher quality scores , are considered âsoft sciencesâ, and see average pay drop as women enter. This is BECAUSE women do them, not a function of women mysteriously choosing lower-prestige, poorly-paid fields.
My go-to example on this last aspect is computer programming. It was initially heavily female (and at least in the US was a significant employer of Black women in mathematics and related fields, cf Hidden Figures etc), and a lot of those women had mathematical backgrounds, but it was described in terms like âpreciseâ and âdetail-orientedâ - basically a more technical version of secretarial work. Then when men started moving into the field in larger numbers, the language shifts to describing it as creative and visionary, and the pay and prestige moves accordingly. Yeah.
It's ironic that women today must fight for equality in Silicon Valley. After all, their math skills helped launch the digital age
Women were welcome as computers partly because the work was viewed as a dull, low-status activity. Men with elite educations generally wanted no part in it. Not only were women hired, but so were blacks, polio survivors, Jews and others who were routinely iced out of job opportunities, Grier points out.
âThe reason that these pre-electronic computation jobs were feminized is they were seen as rote and de-skilled,â says Mar Hicks, a historian and author of Programmed Inequality. It wasnât true, though: âIn a lot of cases, the women doing these computation jobs actually had to have pretty advanced math skills and math training, especially if they were doing very complex calculations.â
and later:
Though women programmers have made strides in some fieldsâsuch as âfront-endâ programming, for browser applicationsâthe salaries in those specialties tend to be lower overall, simply because the industry regards anything being done by women as easy, according to Miriam Posner, an assistant professor of computer science at UCLA. It is becoming a pink-collar ghetto in coding, Posner notes, rather like the status of female human computers.
(most of my existing knowledge on this is from the UK and US but hereâs another link on the UK)
From as early as the 1840s women have made important contributions to the development of modern computers. Discover the stories of three pio
the fun thing about having a mental health crashout in your thirties is that sure yeah you're crashing out, but at the same time there's a part of you standing across the room smoking ben affleck style, going yeah yeah you're crashing out. you crashed out before you will crash out again can we wrap this up yet. and the most annoying part about it is that they're right, and that that does Not stop you from crashing out even a little. love and light on planet earth.
HANNAH DODD as Francesca Stirling (née Bridgerton) RUTH GEMMELL as Violet Bridgerton MASALI BADUZA as Michaela Stirling BRIDGERTON | 3.08 Into the Light
i haven't even watched the show but i feel insane over how many posts are like 'when are we gonna get lesbian heated rivarly but with [no-contact artistic setting]'
FIRSTABLE, queer women from rival national hockey teams have literally already been marrying each other in real life. let's not pretended women hockey players aren't putting in the gay work. we don't need to imagine a hockey alternative for queer women. they're real. we live in a beautiful world.
SECONDABLE, while i appreciate how genuinely cutthroat the arts can be, i resent the instinct to imagine women and immediately jump from a famously violent, full contact sport to orchestra.
so hockey's done. fine. rugby is right there. roller derby. literally any martial art. hello? kendo!! kickboxing. get a GRIP people. i need you to THINK!!!!!!!!!!
DEMOLITION DERBY??? DIRT BIKE RACING. LET'S PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER Y'ALL!!!!
okay just putting this in a reblog bc several people have mentioned the same thing, which is that lesbian rivalries should take place in the arts because queer women are less welcome there than they are in women's sports.
Really it depends on the time, the location, the community, & a host of other factors. I grew up in Appalachia & the south doing martial arts, soccer, ballet, and playing violin.
At no point was I ever ever ever once (even in college) in a lesbian safe environment where homosexuality was expected, normalized, accepted, or even tolerated.
I was ostracized by lesbian rumors to the point of quitting track & field.
The idea of a universally lesbian sports setting is the same as believing all gay men have an easy time in musical theatre, which is just not the case (once again, speaking from much experience).
Queerness being expected is not the same as queeness being accepted. In fact, my experience as a teenager and young adult was that straight women who participated in sports with queer reputations often over corrected and engaged in a seek-and-destroy rule at any hint of queerness among their teammates, lest they be marked queer by association.
Homophobia exists everywhere, and a story that engages with its challenges could take place virtually anywhere as well!
Anyway this is very nonserious, just thinking about lesbians.
History will remember you today, Minnesota. Well done.
IN NEGATIVE TWENTY DEGREES!!!!!
Please spread this around. Don't let ANYONE lie and say my community is anything but ASTONISHINGLY UNITED in rejection of ICE's behavior. This crosses generations, race lines, party lines, class lines. THAT is how bad ICE is. THAT is how bad we want them gone.
THAT is how loudly we are DEMANDING they leave!
Do you understand what a crowd like this means in a small city like Minneapolis??? In weather that hurts to breathe???
Can you imagine what that takes?
Bigger turnout than his inauguration!
#a hit with the chismis circle
THE PITT 2.03 â 9:00 A.M.