Cracks My Sh*t Up @bzan - Tumblr Blog

DOCTOR WHO (2005) I Vincent and the Doctor

still mentally damaged from this. so I rented a farmhouse with a few friends this weekend and, since it was just us in the middle of nowhere, I wore my fucked up pjs that have one full asscheek missing. the farmhouse had a pen with two cows, so me + another person go out on morning to gaze at them. and the FARMHOUSE OWNER PULLS UP TO FEED THE COWS. remembering my exposed asscheek, I start retreating to the house, but then he calls out "hey, are you Greer?" so I'm just like "HAHA YEAH!", pause to wave, and then run away even faster. my friend stays to talk to the guy.

once we're all back in the kitchen, my friend mutters "weird little guy," and I'm like "haha yeah I guess he was a bit odd–" and they say, "I MEANT YOU!!!!"

apparently, the flaws in my action were 1) that I fear-jogged from someone directly addressing me, and 2) by escaping, I was presenting my exposed asscheek, whereas if I'd stayed to talk he would've only seen my front. anyway, the host gave us a five star rating, so I guess it didn't matter.

pangur-and-grim

hopefully Tumblr doesn't delete my blog for this, but this was the situation

pangur-and-grim

I could agree to that. with great reluctance because they are COMFORTABLE and STILL REASONABLY MODEST. but alright, yes.

dezdemonomania

Go buy pants!

pangur-and-grim

why did you censor your address with screaming horned turtles

a deal's a deal though, I got these blues ones with the bulge. I know they dont actually come with that but sometimes your neurons activate and you make a purchase

fujoshiwarrior

it's kind of fucked up that pig is an insult considering that the pig is a humble and virtuous beast

unbossed-deactivated20251218

Look at these especially charming and gregarious young Earthlings. Nobler than any cop who ever lived.

orpheuslament

no one talks about how straight up painful it is to be the bigger person when deep in your soul you just want to be a huge bitch about it

pazzil-lavender-ladybird

Based on a study done a few years ago ^-^

I am curious to know if they actually do this in the wild too, like with acorns and stuff.

taldigi

Hello???? Suggestions????

kazieka

so I started a new anxiety medication this past week and so far it’s been going very well except that I have extremely vivid dreams and apparently sleep texting. I seem to have sent this at 3am and i have no memory of it

but i am Right

the-spiciest-of-times

okay this reminded me. i’m disabled and i’ve gone to the hospital a lot and one time in college during finals season i had to write my professor an email excusing my absence but the dilauded kicked in and well

i was not born in 1998

the-real-seebs

okay but if i get that note from a student, i am in fact excusing them

morigela

Love a bit of garlif bread

pangur-and-grim

they go from slap fights to this so quickly

pangur-and-grim

furryprovocateur

no amount of monetization or algorithm favoritism will have me call it unalive or seggs or grape

furryprovocateur

generally speaking if doing something makes an advertiser angry you should do it and keep doing it

tanadrin

imagine how much more fucked up the history of the world would be if eating someone's brains reliably conferred on you their memory and knowledge

stumpyjoepete

rimonoroni2

being a trans guy directly post wwi and wwii was so easy. you could just be like yeah i got my dick blown off in the war and everyone would be like hey that happened to my buddy jim and not even question it. truly next level valor stealing to pass

rimonoroni2

not sure if yall know this but one of the first trans men to ever get a phalloplasty was a british guy named laurence michael dillon. dillon was a doctor himself (in fact he performed a gender affirming orchiectomy on roberta cowell) who had been taking T and passing as male for years, and he was watching harold gillies, a pioneer of dick surgery for the pandemic of Guys Who Got Their Hogs Rocked By Bombs from wwii, do all these dick reparation surgeries. so he got to wondering hey. if you can reconstruct a dick, can you construct a dick? they got to talking about it and eventually ya boy dillon got the surgery. so shout out to all those british dudes who lost their cock fighting nazis and inadvertently contributed research/techniques to The Transgender Cause ig

official-lucifers-child

so my friend just texted me to see how i’m doing today. i said i’m alright why do you ask. and he said you were wearing more rings than usual today. and i said yeah what’s that got to do with the price of fish. he replied. with. “You wear more rings when you need the extra sensory input in your hands, which is usually correlated to an overall worse mental state because usually you like less sensory input, your max number of rings is 3 or 4. So I thought I’d check on how you’re doing.”

to be loved is to be known but jesus christ please be a little stupider.

official-lucifers-child

okay i know i’m op but ??? @wizardarchetypes this is hilarious to me